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I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 2:19:35 PM   
MikeRaven


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I'm a "people's person" and so is my girlfriend. We attend a lot of BDSM functions and have our own network of friends on fetlife.
I'm a certified massage therapist and one of the greatest joys is receiving a legitimate massage. I'm not a fan of "happy endings" or anything sexual for the massage. Just not my thing. And I don't do "anything extra" when I give a massage. When I'm giving my girlfriend a massage and she wants to play, we get off the massage table.

Well, in the people we meet at the BDSM functions, and online, I've had women say, "I sure would like a professional massage. Give me $60 and I'll let you massage my body. But your girlfriend can do it for free."

I just don't understand the psychology of this.
It would be the same thing if these women went to a male Chiropractor and said, "For $60 I'll let you adjust my body. But a female Chiropractor can do it for free."

Or if she went to a male hairstylist and said, "For $60 I'll let you do my hair, but I'll let a female hairstylist do it for free."

Why on earth would they think anyone would pay them to do a professional service? Or do it for free?
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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 3:22:01 PM   
StrongSpirit


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A massage can be a very intimate act that some people would consider to be sexual. As such, some people would like to get this from someone they are attracted to. In addition, a whore might charge you to give her a massage.

It is no different than a woman offering to let you touch her feet for money, or even give her a pedicure.

To offer to do something like that for money is also a bit insulting to you. I would take a long look at her body, clearly judging it, then say "Honey I normally get paid over $100 and frankly, wouldn't pay you more than $5."


(in reply to MikeRaven)
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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 3:32:48 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


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quote:

Why on earth would they think anyone would pay them to do a professional service?

I don't know, people are weird.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 4:58:44 PM   
LadyPact


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Unless you've got the actual certificate, most people aren't going to believe you about the <cough> wonderful <cough> massage you offer. They see you as every other male who tries to brag about how great the massage is while the females roll their eyes. Consider it in the same category as people who say they are so awesome at anything, but oddly enough, can't make a living at it.

If you are an actual professional, I would agree. If you don't earn your living as a massage therapist, I don't blame the chick at all.


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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 5:06:55 PM   
Lucylastic


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I just thought it was another of his sad little rants.


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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 5:20:11 PM   
mousekabob


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Unless you've got the actual certificate, most people aren't going to believe you about the <cough> wonderful <cough> massage you offer. They see you as every other male who tries to brag about how great the massage is while the females roll their eyes. Consider it in the same category as people who say they are so awesome at anything, but oddly enough, can't make a living at it.

If you are an actual professional, I would agree. If you don't earn your living as a massage therapist, I don't blame the chick at all.



This. All this.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 5:28:20 PM   
MissKatya


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I'm a "people's person" and so is my girlfriend. We attend a lot of BDSM functions and have our own network of friends on fetlife.


Wait...so is this the "girlfriend" that you pay for or is this a new one?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4858074/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4858074


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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 5:32:55 PM   
cindyluvNY


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@OP

I'm confused about something. Are you approaching these women and offering them massages? Or are these women approaching you and asking you money for a massage?
These women who are asking you for money for a legitimate massage - are they ProDommes? I know several ProDommes that will dominate a woman for free but a man always has to pay.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 6:02:55 PM   
Cinnamongirl67


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This has struck me funny bone.
I am going to try this at the grocery store. When I wheel my cart up I'm going to say " Hey just give me a couple hundred dollars and I'll wheel this bad boy on out of here.
Or maybe my gynecologist when I go get my exam. When he puts his head under the sheet " I'll say hey doc that will cost you $200, unless you have insurance then I'll just charge you 50.00 as a co pay."


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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 6:15:44 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


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quote:

Wait...so is this the "girlfriend" that you pay for or is this a new one?

LOL

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 6:59:30 PM   
MikeRaven


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I read the comments and I wanted to say that I'm not "trolling" websites or BDSM functions for business. People in my network know that I'm a certified massage therapist just because we ask each other, "What do you do for a living?"

I don't approach anyone offering massages. Only several women have approached me saying if I pay them I can give them a legitimate massage but my girlfriend can do it for free. I have no idea if those women are ProDommes or not. I've never seen ProDommes trolling meets for business. Even if those few women were ProDommes - I still don't understand why they think anyone would pay them to give them a professional service. A person pays them for a professional service.

A poster accused me of ranting or venting. I guess I am. But a lot of posters vent on forums.


(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 7:18:56 PM   
MrRodgers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Unless you've got the actual certificate, most people aren't going to believe you about the <cough> wonderful <cough> massage you offer. They see you as every other male who tries to brag about how great the massage is while the females roll their eyes. Consider it in the same category as people who say they are so awesome at anything, but oddly enough, can't make a living at it.

If you are an actual professional, I would agree. If you don't earn your living as a massage therapist, I don't blame the chick at all.


Well it was fairly common knowledge that I was in contracting at Big Blue and a friend/owner of a custom painting co. thought I should do his contracts, proposals and invoicing for him...for free. I said ok, paint my rec room and downstairs bath room for free. (in exchange for the first set of proposals/contracts) He said well, 'that's what I do professionally...for a living.'

I told him, well the contracts/proposals were what I did professionally for a living. So I made him come to an agreement and pay me. It's all in standing by your skills and the negotiation.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 7:49:12 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven
I read the comments and I wanted to say that I'm not "trolling" websites or BDSM functions for business. People in my network know that I'm a certified massage therapist just because we ask each other, "What do you do for a living?"

I don't approach anyone offering massages. Only several women have approached me saying if I pay them I can give them a legitimate massage but my girlfriend can do it for free. I have no idea if those women are ProDommes or not. I've never seen ProDommes trolling meets for business. Even if those few women were ProDommes - I still don't understand why they think anyone would pay them to give them a professional service. A person pays them for a professional service.

A poster accused me of ranting or venting. I guess I am. But a lot of posters vent on forums.



Do you know what some people pay for now? Cuddle sessions. No kidding. Stupidest f^cking thing I've ever heard of.

Know who gets paid? Females. I've seen $400 an hour.

If you use the search feature wayyyy back, I used to have an s-type that I nicknamed Chosen. He really was a licensed massage therapist. Yes, he did it for a living, so when I say most males are just hacks at it, I have a frame of reference.

Here's what I'd say. If you really offer a professional service, tell the woman to come to your place of business. She can schedule an appointment like anyone else.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MikeRaven)
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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/19/2016 8:18:05 PM   
cindyluvNY


Posts: 26
Joined: 9/29/2015
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@LadyPact
Lol..... Women get paid $400 an hour to cuddle a man? Where do I sign up? That's incredible!

@OP
I remember when I was working for someone, at a hourly wage. He wanted me to do a whole bunch of work after working hours, but wasn't going to pay me. He asked me and I said no. I thought to myself, "Is he crazy? He thinks people will work for him for free?" People just ask things to see if you will do it. They just throw it out there.

So those women just threw that request out there just to see if you would do it.

< Message edited by cindyluvNY -- 2/19/2016 8:51:46 PM >

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/22/2016 11:17:07 AM   
OsideGirl


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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

Well, in the people we meet at the BDSM functions, and online, I've had women say, "I sure would like a professional massage. Give me $60 and I'll let you massage my body. But your girlfriend can do it for free."
Well, it is a BDSM event and you're talking about a service that many submissives offer.


quote:

It would be the same thing if these women went to a male Chiropractor and said, "For $60 I'll let you adjust my body. But a female Chiropractor can do it for free."

Or if she went to a male hairstylist and said, "For $60 I'll let you do my hair, but I'll let a female hairstylist do it for free."
Apples and oranges. The people that said that to you didn't go to your business - YOU went to BDSM event.

quote:

Why on earth would they think anyone would pay them to do a professional service?
Because many submissive men will pay to provide a service.
quote:

Or do it for free?
Really? You can't understand why some people hope to get something for free?


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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/22/2016 3:05:39 PM   
MikeRaven


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"The people that said that to you didn't go to your business - YOU went to BDSM event."
"So those women just threw that request out there just to see if you would do it."
"Really? You can't understand why some people hope to get something for free?"

All very good and valid points. I never thought of it in that light.



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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/22/2016 8:57:26 PM   
AtUrCervix


Posts: 2111
Joined: 1/15/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I'm a "people's person" and so is my girlfriend. We attend a lot of BDSM functions and have our own network of friends on fetlife.
I'm a certified massage therapist and one of the greatest joys is receiving a legitimate massage. I'm not a fan of "happy endings" or anything sexual for the massage. Just not my thing. And I don't do "anything extra" when I give a massage. When I'm giving my girlfriend a massage and she wants to play, we get off the massage table.

Well, in the people we meet at the BDSM functions, and online, I've had women say, "I sure would like a professional massage. Give me $60 and I'll let you massage my body. But your girlfriend can do it for free."

I just don't understand the psychology of this.
It would be the same thing if these women went to a male Chiropractor and said, "For $60 I'll let you adjust my body. But a female Chiropractor can do it for free."

Or if she went to a male hairstylist and said, "For $60 I'll let you do my hair, but I'll let a female hairstylist do it for free."

Why on earth would they think anyone would pay them to do a professional service? Or do it for free?


Bud....they have titties.

(Do you need any more help on this subject?)

(in reply to MikeRaven)
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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/24/2016 3:20:16 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cindyluvNY
@LadyPact
Lol..... Women get paid $400 an hour to cuddle a man? Where do I sign up? That's incredible!

I thought it was the weirdest thing, myself. You can find the vanilla folks doing the same thing at a much lower rate. ($400 was the top end that I heard but even via google you can find the 'reputable' ones paying $40 - $60 an hour. Only women are hired.)



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to cindyluvNY)
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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/24/2016 8:30:11 PM   
DocStrange


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Joined: 6/10/2015
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I read the comments and I wanted to say that I'm not "trolling" websites or BDSM functions for business. People in my network know that I'm a certified massage therapist just because we ask each other, "What do you do for a living?"

I don't approach anyone offering massages. Only several women have approached me saying if I pay them I can give them a legitimate massage but my girlfriend can do it for free. I have no idea if those women are ProDommes or not. I've never seen ProDommes trolling meets for business. Even if those few women were ProDommes - I still don't understand why they think anyone would pay them to give them a professional service. A person pays them for a professional service.

A poster accused me of ranting or venting. I guess I am. But a lot of posters vent on forums.



My personal take would be, if I am a professional certified masseuse and that is how I make my living, people pay me for my skill. Then I am not going to turn around and pay a woman so I can use my skills on her. I might offer a discount at best. But I am not going to pay someone for the services I got paid for.

So the next time someone says that to you, simply respond I am sure you would, but this is my how I make my living, I am good at it, and I am the one who gets paid, I can offer you a discount if you are interested.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/27/2016 5:35:39 AM   
betataster


Posts: 138
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Can't contribute much to the thread but perhaps y'all could clarify something for me? Am I correct in inferring from this thread that professional dominatrixes troll for business at BDSM get-togethers? Don't have anything against pros, girl's gotta make a living, but I wonder if that is a bit tacky? I sure hope we're not talking munches here because I was considering going to one and it would be a bit odd do have that dynamic at play while trying to meet people.

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