RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/27/2016 6:18:58 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
Can't contribute much to the thread but perhaps y'all could clarify something for me? Am I correct in inferring from this thread that professional dominatrixes troll for business at BDSM get-togethers? Don't have anything against pros, girl's gotta make a living, but I wonder if that is a bit tacky? I sure hope we're not talking munches here because I was considering going to one and it would be a bit odd do have that dynamic at play while trying to meet people.

Honestly, it depends on where you are.

I can't say I recall any munch restrictions about *talking* about potential business, which covers just about everything. "Contact me at XXXXX and we'll talk about an arrangement" isn't always frowned upon. If you are talking about actual sessions, (x amount of money for a time slot of activity) that's generally not treated any differently than somebody who is interested in trading contact information about floggers they are selling or any other type of business transaction. People into fin kink aren't generally going around to other people trying to solicit business at your local munch. However, I have seen potential clients approach them.

Play parties, clubs, events, etc, you have to read the policy. Some places will not allow anyone to be on paid TIME while engaging in kink. Depending on your state and local laws, this is a really good way for the potential of getting your play party busted depending on what activities are being engaged in. There is some fuzzy, grey area in here. A number of events across the country have changed their payment policies to prepay only (no cash payments on site for door fees) because it's too easily interpreted as "paying for sex on site" if anybody wanted to be enthusiastic about pursuing certain loopholes.

This is not your local munch. Your local munch is generally held in a low-key environment (such as a restaurant, book store, etc.) where there is no kinky play involved. It's a bunch of people talking over dinner, drinks, or coffee.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/27/2016 6:42:01 AM

betataster

Posts: 138
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
...

This is not your local munch. Your local munch is generally held in a low-key environment (such as a restaurant, book store, etc.) where there is no kinky play involved. It's a bunch of people talking over dinner, drinks, or coffee.
[/color]

Thanks. I just don't want to repeat what happened years ago with my one and only experience with a hooker. Cute gal that I picked up hitchhiking and gave to a ride to a bar. Bought her a drink, we chatted for a bit, and then she's like "I really need to make some money tonight." "Oh, OK, well I don't have much cash on me", trying to gracefully back out. "How much do you have?" "I only have like $20." "We can do something for $20." So much for gracefully backing out.

I just felt it would be an odd dynamic at a munch if I saw a woman looking at me and I had to wonder if she was interested in me as a client or as a potential partner, either short term or long term, potential friend, or whatever. I would certainly go over and say hello in either case but I would hope that, if she's a professional, she would get that out of the way very early on in the conversation.

< Message edited by betataster -- 2/27/2016 6:48:42 AM >

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/27/2016 7:53:54 AM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven
Well, in the people we meet at the BDSM functions, and online, I've had women say, "I sure would like a professional massage. Give me $60 and I'll let you massage my body. But your girlfriend can do it for free."

Why on earth would they think anyone would pay them to do a professional service? Or do it for free?

Because they're whores and the BDSM community is so full of weak-willed pathetic excuses for men that this shit actually works.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/27/2016 10:13:41 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
Thanks....

No problem. That first paragraph part isn't how that would go, anyway.

quote:

I just felt it would be an odd dynamic at a munch if I saw a woman looking at me and I had to wonder if she was interested in me as a client or as a potential partner, either short term or long term, potential friend, or whatever. I would certainly go over and say hello in either case but I would hope that, if she's a professional, she would get that out of the way very early on in the conversation.

If somebody is attending a munch, they are probably there for the social aspects. I've been to munches (remember, different than events for kink) where pro and fin Dommes have been in attendance where they've had their business cards and it's not a big deal. Not unusual. I have four business cards in my wallet right now for people who make various types of gear. While at the club last night, I was very specifically asked about LucyLastic's business, because she sells corsets, and I was able to give some info on that. (Lucy just redid her whole website and I happened to know about it.)

Networking of that type can happen in some places. It's more likely to be gear, clothes, or references on products. Not high pressure kind of stuff.

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RE: I Don't Understand The Psychology Of Some People - 2/28/2016 1:14:02 AM

pleasnpetrichor

Posts: 72
Joined: 1/13/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

"The people that said that to you didn't go to your business - YOU went to BDSM event."
"So those women just threw that request out there just to see if you would do it."
"Really? You can't understand why some people hope to get something for free?"

All very good and valid points. I never thought of it in that light.

I agree that if you brought the table, it might look like you were offering. But the idea of you paying them is just nasty.

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