quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Usually, the dudes who go off their head with rage at the idea of giving their money away are the same ones who whine about not being able to find a real domme. But upon questioning they make it clear that what they want is not to submit but to have their kinks catered to. They demand that strange women spend thousands of dollars buying costumes and toys that the woman has no interest in, in order to perform acts they don't want to do, all to please the guy who then will think of himself as this great sub.

These males are all misogynists, they refuse to accept that women are people with desires and needs of their own. They are not capable of getting or maintaining a relationship with a woman, and indeed they seek only a fetish delivery system. Which brings us back to the fact that if you want someone to do things solely for you, they need to get something out of it and since you don't offer a relationship or any service, the only other available coin is coin, or dollars to be more exact.

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ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

making fin dommes(hell any female who takes money) into whores beggars or scrubbers is not misogynist.
Theres plenty of offense going round.

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ORIGINAL: pleasnpetrichor
Hi LadyPact. Good to see you.

I think perhaps you misunderstood me, although maybe I didn't explain myself well. I didn't mean to imply I think all fin subs (is that a real term?) are mentally ill. (As an aside, for me the term "mentally ill" refers to a chronic, long term condition. I was speaking of people who are suicidal, and personally I would not consider all of them to be mentally ill. I have no idea whether my understanding of the term "mentally ill" corresponds either to common usage or medical definition, but that is how I use the term.) I didn't mean to imply I think society would always be justified in intervening to prevent an addict from pursuing his addiction. I certainly didn't mean to say I think addictive substances or activities should be banned for everyone.

I wasn't suggesting that we go about banning fin kink. You're right to say that would impose on individual liberties. I guess I haven't made up my mind whether I think such a drastic step as that is warranted. I do think folks are justified in condemning it though, at least. I think the BDSM community has a real interest in distancing itself from behavior that (in my opinion anyway) is cynically and deliberately exploitative in the majority of cases. I think such things ought to be publicly scorned, the way I would publicly scorn the alcoholic who loses his job and drinks his family into destitution, and the shopkeeper who, knowing that, keeps selling him booze.

And I certainly think "Dominant" is the wrong word for the person on the receiving end of such behavior.

Good to see you, too. I hope you are doing well.

The "mentally ill" thing was based in the OP. The term desperate is in there, too. I don't tend to think that's the majority, though.

I know I tend to look at these things differently than some. That's why I tend to go for the "take the kink out of it" approach. I need to find a really good reference link for this, so I can hold onto it for these kinds of threads. Maybe folks will catch what I mean with some rough descriptions.

Especially when it comes to money, gifts, and things of that nature, we know that most people do that with just the normal attitude. If I got you a present, I'd be doing it because it would be something I know you'd like or something we talked about. Maybe something for a special occasion.

We also know that there are some folks who use financial as a barter for mental/emotional/sexual exchange. Literally, people who use the "buy your affections" path because they don't see themselves (and sometimes others with good reason) as being able to do equal exchange on the same level. These are the types of folks who are in the unhealthy range because they have to 'do things' to get people to like them. Without sweetening the deal some, they fail at interpersonal relationships because their own merit isn't enough. This becomes a learned pattern and compensation, in one form or another, becomes a tool, rather than a healthy exchange.

I hope I'm explaining this well. Most people don't do this. However, it is interesting to contemplate when it comes to this subject.

quote:

To me, it's a legit business.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

Some people are just bitter when others can make money through unconventional ways.

To me, it's a legit business. If she can earn an income from it and able to form her pool of customers.

Great!

There's nothing better in life than getting paid for doing what you love.

Props to you!

And personally, I don't think it's the domme responsibility to make sure her pay pigs don't go bust at all. They are adults right? Who have made their own choices? I mean, they are paying for a service, they choose to spend on it. It's no difference from someone spending on a house or an over extravagant meal they could not afford. It's about making choices.

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ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

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To me, it's a legit business.

LOLOLOLOL
Yeah right. It's a legit business when she pays taxes on it

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ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
LOLOLOLOL
Yeah right. It's a legit business when she pays taxes on it

quote:

ORIGINAL: princessmika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Some people are just bitter when others can make money through unconventional ways.

To me, it's a legit business. If she can earn an income from it and able to form her pool of customers.

Great!

There's nothing better in life than getting paid for doing what you love.

Props to you!

And personally, I don't think it's the domme responsibility to make sure her pay pigs don't go bust at all. They are adults right? Who have made their own choices? I mean, they are paying for a service, they choose to spend on it. It's no difference from someone spending on a house or an over extravagant meal they could not afford. It's about making choices.

Thank you so much, Greta! I really appreciate your post :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

To me, it's a legit business.

LOLOLOLOL
Yeah right. It's a legit business when she pays taxes on it

I do pay taxes on it. Each clip site takes 40%-50% and then my share is taxed. I pay them quarterly.

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ORIGINAL: TheCabal

I think you've about got it. With one minor exception... you are servicing clients. The relationship you have with them isn't really one of dominance. They're your customer, and you're providing a service. If they're willing to pay for it, fantastic, good for you. And it's nice to see someone who actually loves their work and isn't complaining about it like a previous poster.

It made me cringe to see the one girl complaining about the uncomfortable clothing. If someone's inducing you to do something you don't want to do, you've got the whole dominant-submissive thing backwards.

To me though, actual financial dominance isn't when you're paying taxes on income from someone else. It's when your slave hands you a signed, blank 1040 form about this time every year (or whatever the equivalent of doing their taxes is). THAT'S what true financial slavery looks like... when the dominant has taken control over the slave's assets.