RE: Why would someone do this?

RE: Why would someone do this? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

DesFIP -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/19/2016 2:35:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Husband1950s You won the genetic lottery? 5'11" 175.? Are you fucking kidding ? You are a hideous oaf. And this is a perfect example of why we don't respond to unasked for messages. Ad hominem attacks. If dude does it like this on an open board knowing every other woman will read his forum posts before deciding to respond or not, then you know what he sends in a private message in response to an outright rejection will be ten times worse. Death threats that sound like they're coming from a serial killer. Hate to tell you this, bro, but nobody wants to date a serial killer. Now I know your mother raised you better. But obviously you didn't pay attention back then. Best thing you can di is 'fess up to her that you go around calling strange women bad names and ask her for a refresher course in manners. Preferably starting with washing your mouth out with soap.

LadyPact -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/19/2016 3:45:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darkfeather Well seriously, I didn't want to turn this into my personal experiences. But its not that I don't have success. I talk to a lot of people, on a lot of different sites. Dating sites, gaming sites, comics, movies, etc. Some I contact, some contact me. And lets be honest, as long a s guy is single, he is going to go into any conversation with a woman with at least the idea of a relationship. The dating game is all about matching your "search criteria" with those of your potential. And man, I have a boatload of criteria. Its why I don't more actively look, but also why I don't complain. OK. I get that you don't want to make it all about you. Now, I'm going to, anyway. [;)] You should be talking to a lot of people. I've always had a good impression of you from your forum posts, so that part I already knew. Your pics are great and you're saying you are a well rounded individual, so you can cover a lot of topics. These are all good things, so I have to wonder why you sound like this isn't going as well as it could be for you. Heck, you know I'm one of the toughest nuts around here to crack and if you were a sub, I'd date you.

Darkfeather -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/19/2016 11:21:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Darkfeather Well seriously, I didn't want to turn this into my personal experiences. But its not that I don't have success. I talk to a lot of people, on a lot of different sites. Dating sites, gaming sites, comics, movies, etc. Some I contact, some contact me. And lets be honest, as long a s guy is single, he is going to go into any conversation with a woman with at least the idea of a relationship. The dating game is all about matching your "search criteria" with those of your potential. And man, I have a boatload of criteria. Its why I don't more actively look, but also why I don't complain. OK. I get that you don't want to make it all about you. Now, I'm going to, anyway. [;)] You should be talking to a lot of people. I've always had a good impression of you from your forum posts, so that part I already knew. Your pics are great and you're saying you are a well rounded individual, so you can cover a lot of topics. These are all good things, so I have to wonder why you sound like this isn't going as well as it could be for you. Heck, you know I'm one of the toughest nuts around here to crack and if you were a sub, I'd date you. See, I suck at talking about myself. Pretty much basing my success on the fact that I am still single. And when I was younger, I put way more effort into changing that. Went to lots of different venues, hung out with lots of people, stuff like that. Came close a few times, but hey even failures are gains in experience. Now a lot older, a little wiser, so more apt to be reactive than proactive.

betataster -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/20/2016 1:22:49 AM)
The perfect is the enemy of the good. At the risk of being banal. Though there are often truths in banalities. Or as my teenage son puts it, "Dad, you gotta put on your old guy goggles."

ReMakeYou -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/20/2016 2:03:32 AM)
A few thoughts: It's bad internet etiquette to share someone else's info without their permission, but if you remove their identifying information there's nothing inherently wrong with posting an exchange. Especially for the guys who complain about how absolutely minuscule their response rates are. There's probably something to how often it's "women never respond" and how rarely it's "here are some examples of what I've tried, what can I do to improve myself?" Between the fakes and the way most desirable women on here get swamped, you could have the ability to know exactly what to say to a given person and still have a noticeable nonreply rate. And that's before the life issues that would get in the way even on a pay site, where there's a barrier keeping out the riff-raff and everyone with a profile is invested enough to pay. (As someone who's had sporadic health issues, I can personally speak for wanting to reply but having life mess with that.) It's annoying, true, but that's part of living in a complex world. Don't worry about jumping through all the hoops that some women expect you to jump through in order to message them. That often leads to overly formulaic messages, and/or ones that are hard to respond to. (Try to cover too many bases in a message, the recipient often feels like they have to cover all the points. What this means in practice is that they totally mean to get back to you when they have the brainpower to cover everything, and your message sits there to be forgotten.) Some of the hoops boil down to wanting to ensure that you actually read their profile instead of spamming every attractive female. Others are there in the hopes of cutting down the deluge that multiple spammers cause. (Both strike me as silly, since spammers are unlikely to be dissuaded by profiles they never bother to read.) Any reasonably intelligent and literate person can pass the spirit of those tests without necessarily needing to stress over the letter. After that there are often attempts to spell out what they're looking for, but you can usually get by focusing on the spirit over the letter there too.

DesFIP -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/20/2016 3:44:06 PM)
You have a misassumption here. Pay sites are more likely to be filled with fake female profiles. When a new woman here will easily get over 100 emails an hour, why would they need to pay? Remember the Ashley Madison stats, less than 25,000 women and the rest fake bots put up by the site to get men to keep paying.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/20/2016 3:56:42 PM)
quote: When a new woman here will easily get over 100 emails an hour, why would they need to pay? I guess I did it wrong

crazyml -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 2:00:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr quote: ORIGINAL: Darkfeather quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP The reason they don't offer a rejection is that usually when women do reject men, men respond badly. They send hate filled rants. They insult the women. They issue death threats. It's a lot safer to just disappear. I call cop-out on this. Why do all guys get lumped into this "oh that's because men respond badly" argument. ... Because on this site (as well as most of the outside world), if you don't have a vagina, you're worthless. You speak for yourself. If this really has been experience, then it might be that your worthlessness isn't related to your lack of a vagina. quote: The only purpose you suit is procreation (if that) and before they strap you into the chair, the only "last meal" you'll get a huge shit sandwich. Michael You're very bitter, aren't you.

crazyml -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 2:09:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phydeaux No, putting effort into an email message does not statistically make a difference for guys. This has not been my experience. My experience has been that a thoughtful email message improves response rates very radically. quote: That is why the vast majority of mails from males are short. I don't think so. I think that the vast majority of mails from males are short because they're clueless. quote: If you have .005% chance of a reply with a simple hi - and a .01% chance of a reply to a thoughtful couple of paragraphs - it simply isn't worth our time. I guess that different people get different mileage out of their thoughtful couple of paragraphs. If you have a decent sense for filtering out the bogus ads so you're only sending your thoughtful paras to people who are more likely to be real, then I'd bet you can change the ratio. I reckon that I'm roughly 50 times more likely to get a reply from a thoughtful couple of paras. Maybe it's the content of the paras?

teentie -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 4:41:38 AM)
DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK ANYONE ON HERE IS REAL HA HA HA . EXCEPT REAL LESBIANS THAT I HAVE ACTUALLY MET. XXX SORRY GIRLS.

SuaveGentleman -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 10:10:52 AM)
Ok to add a little fuel to the fire that has been raging on over a week now (wow). There are some girls men feel interested in - lets say because of location. But when you go to their profile you see "Hi I am new on here looking around not sure what I like". Nothing listed in likes. Sometimes nothing written in the profile. In fact, I would go so far as to say most profiles I have read do not go beyond one paragraph. That too one crappy paragraph of confused philosophy. Of course there are a few profiles that are well written. Some of those make clear that they are (1) only exploring and not looking for anything serious, or (2) local only or (3) here for forum and friends. I would never bother any of those. In fact I even hesitate to write to someone with a lovely profile but who says "I am bi and I lean more towards women" - not to be self-deprecatory but I dont imagine myself to be exactly God's gift to women. Given the rate of reply as discussed at length, where does that leave men? How am I supposed to write anything meaningful to a person who has written nothing meaningful herself? You might say such people are not worth contacting - aha! That rules our 70% of the population. Opinions of my brothers here too - am I exaggerating? - asn

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 10:23:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SuaveGentleman Given the rate of reply as discussed at length, where does that leave men? How am I supposed to write anything meaningful to a person who has written nothing meaningful herself? You might say such people are not worth contacting - aha! That rules our 70% of the population. Yup, they're not worth contacting. And yup, that rules out 70% of the population. Honestly, why are you interested in contacting a woman who has nothing to say, no indication that what's she like, and no indication that she's willing to put effort into finding you? And as you've noticed, the fact that these women make it so that you've got nothing to write to them, make it so that you resort to empty replies (of which they have dozens waiting every time they log in) and which leads to you being ignored. So... it's a waste of your time to contact them in the first place. You don't know the slightest bit about them other than that they're (maybe) a female, and sort fall into the general category of what you're looking for... you're not getting a chance at getting to know these girls, nor should you really want to, because they've already shown that they're not really willing to put in any effort to find you anyways... so even if you get them talking, their lack of effort is going to carry on. Frequently those no effort profiles are made by women who are just playing, or experimenting, or dreaming, or married, or etc... (if they're female to begin with), so even if you get a conversation going, they'll get bored with it at some point and flake out on you... time wasted again. Don't play the numbers game and write ever 'female' who looks even remotely compatible with you. Write the ones who really inspire you with their profile. The ones you really want to get to know. Yup, that means that all of a sudden the pool of available candidates looks a lot smaller, but you know what? The pool was always that small. All the ones who are putting in no effort themselves weren't going to pan out for you anyways. They weren't going to be the right girl anyways. They were going to waste your time anyways. Ruling them out before you even mail them doesn't make the pool any smaller than it already was. It just makes it so that the pool only has higher quality fish left in them, and you're not going to continuously 'catch', or fail to catch, stuff you don't want to eat anyways. When a woman is interested in finding you on a site like this, she'll put herself out there so that she has a shot at finding the most compatible man possible. If she's not putting herself out there, she doesn't care about finding somebody compatible, which means that she really doesn't care about finding somebody at all...

Darkfeather -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 11:27:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml quote: ORIGINAL: Phydeaux No, putting effort into an email message does not statistically make a difference for guys. This has not been my experience. My experience has been that a thoughtful email message improves response rates very radically. quote: That is why the vast majority of mails from males are short. I don't think so. I think that the vast majority of mails from males are short because they're clueless. quote: If you have .005% chance of a reply with a simple hi - and a .01% chance of a reply to a thoughtful couple of paragraphs - it simply isn't worth our time. I guess that different people get different mileage out of their thoughtful couple of paragraphs. If you have a decent sense for filtering out the bogus ads so you're only sending your thoughtful paras to people who are more likely to be real, then I'd bet you can change the ratio. I reckon that I'm roughly 50 times more likely to get a reply from a thoughtful couple of paras. Maybe it's the content of the paras? Funny thing, I just got a message not 5 minutes ago, and replied to it. Wanna take a stab at whet the message was? "Hi". Granted, Hi doesn't give one much to work with, but hey I muddled something out

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 11:55:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darkfeather Funny thing, I just got a message not 5 minutes ago, and replied to it. Wanna take a stab at whet the message was? "Hi". Granted, Hi doesn't give one much to work with, but hey I muddled something out Yeah, if I get a single message saying 'hi', like I do on Fet, where my inbox doesn't ever get flooded, I reply to it too. I'd like to see you reply to 50 'Hi' messages an hour though...

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 12:11:22 PM)
quote: I'd like to see you reply to 50 'Hi' messages an hour though... Huh, I get maybe one message a week.

mnottertail -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 12:13:02 PM)
Hi.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 12:19:10 PM)
Nicely done. [:D]

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 12:19:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: I'd like to see you reply to 50 'Hi' messages an hour though... Huh, I get maybe one message a week. You're not looking, don't have pics of yourself, don't have fetishes listed, don't have any of the 'looking for' filters turned on. 1 message a week sounds about right. A new female profile that says that she's looking, with a pic, with fetishes and 'looking for' filled out, gets several hundred messages a day.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 12:37:27 PM)
It makes life so much simpler and pleasanter

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why would someone do this? (3/21/2016 12:50:11 PM)
s quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick It makes life so much simpler and pleasanter I agree, my entire profile strategy lately has been to tailor it so that I get as little messages as possible from people I don't already know. If it wasn't for the forums/meeting new people in CO, I wouldn't have a profile at all. I still get about two dozen a week from strangers though (mostly utter nonsense) primarily because I refuse to take the picture down.

Page: << < prev 6 7 [8] 9 10 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875