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notaBULL

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Post #: 21

RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/29/2016 8:10:17 PM

MrRodgers

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I know very intimately a pro sub escort. (as a mentor only) She does one on ones, and gangbangs. She does nothing else for money except the occasional bachelor party with the rare strip show. More money...with happy ending(s). She has many regulars and all of her clients are vetted.

She chooses to work everyday (7 days a week if possible) because the money is so good. Currently, she is making about $2,500/week but can on occasion, take in that much in one Sat. night with up to 15 guys each paying $150. For straight vanilla 1 on 1 sex, she regularly sees 4-6 men per day. She is quite the nymph and uses every source that she herself vets.

Pro domme is more difficult to make such a living but they usually get more per hour (client) yet it is harder to do successfully without other straight work.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/29/2016 8:17:11 PM

Dvr22999874

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brispslave, I recommend that you check in your shoes nxt time you need a fuck..............................don't read things into what I say that only occur in your tiny mind. Basically, if somebody gives me a hard time about the way I or my friends live, I take one of the two options.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/29/2016 9:19:03 PM

cindyluvNY

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I'm calling BS on this.
I highly doubt that the average guy is going to spend close to one week's pay for one hour with a woman from backpage.
And if a guy is wealthy and can afford it, he wouldn't go to backpage. He would get a Dominatrix from a dungeon.
From what I've heard, all those women from backpage, who claim to be a dominatrix, are just escorts. They look desperate.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/29/2016 10:30:28 PM

Godess2UseYouHard

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Actually, CINDYLUVNY... girls at commercial dungeons get paid little, work more, and burn out faster. They generally dont invest as much in wardrobe, gear or education. Many are forced to work as subs as well, even if its not their nature. Of the $200 per hour most places charge, the girls get about half, sometimes less. . Many commercial dungeons operate like brothels in which a client picks a girl out of a line up.. its quite impersonal.

Most independent dominas advert on backpage etc as it is a local advert specifically geared to their physical location at a far lower cost than paying for international adverts online that arent targeted. The ones who are legit and not kinky escorts generally have equipped playspaces in their homes, or choose to rent another dominas private equipped space. They charge $250/hr pay 50-75/hr rental, and dont have 5 other girls trying to scoop their client as often happens at dungeon houses.

Exceptionally skilled, well equipped professional dominas also travel and take sessions on the road. When ladies of my caliber do so, often by car, that involves hundreds of pounds of gear. Backpage is very useful for those situations, as you can be ina different city every other day. Its a lot of adverts.

Certainly, as with anything, plenty of amateurs and nebulous types will also advert in what at best can be called 'the wrong category' given what they really offer... that is why researching the domina on sites like max fisch, twitter, the dominas website etc is important. Guys that have the 'anyone will do' attitude often go for the cheapest, most accomodating... often an escort in a bad pvc teddy.

Guys that want a real dominant however, will make the effort to wade through the ads and schedule with the legit ones, and pay more for that skill set, wardrobe, training and equipment investment by the dominant... because they want an actual quality session.

To give you an idea what it costs to operate as an elite independent domina, educator, and international fetish personality; l spend 5k a year on wardrobe, 3-4k a year on gear, and I only consider pro sessions 1 day a week, 3 weeks a month these days. My space of the last 6 years is equipped with roughly 40k in gear, furniture etc. My latex collection is a good 25k, and my shoe collection 15k (at last inventory for insurance purposes). I allow no sexual contact, do not expose my intimate areas, do not allow body worship above the knee. I am a well respected sadist, and attract an elite clientele of mostly heavy masochists.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 12:42:44 AM

DarkSteven

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[I]I'm a little skeptical that the person you booked is really getting 20 client hours per week

You're not alone, LadyPact. I know several pro Dommes and ProDisciplinarians. Some are doing it because they are caregivers that need flexible hours. Some have health issues that make conventional daytime hours impossible. I know of one that has convictions in her past that would make her fail a background check.

Some are earning a decent living, but none of them approach $100k.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 12:15:01 PM

DocStrange

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874

The skillset can be learned and/or faked. The mindset ? Who knows, you are probably right Dizzy. I don't think I ever had much in the way of morals, so if a woman chose that path, it never bothered me at all.

I disagree with this statement. The skillset is not easy to fake though many have tried. Many have seen the $$$ for quick money and think it is easy. These people are rather easy to spot especially if you have been into the scene for a while.

The skillset can learned but it is not something you will pick up in a week or two. People spend years mastering their skills. And unless you have a passion for it, you are not going to invest the time required to learn the skills.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 1:12:35 PM

subbybound

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874

The skillset can be learned and/or faked. The mindset ? Who knows, you are probably right Dizzy. I don't think I ever had much in the way of morals, so if a woman chose that path, it never bothered me at all.

I disagree with this statement. The skillset is not easy to fake though many have tried. Many have seen the $$$ for quick money and think it is easy. These people are rather easy to spot especially if you have been into the scene for a while.

The skillset can learned but it is not something you will pick up in a week or two. People spend years mastering their skills. And unless you have a passion for it, you are not going to invest the time required to learn the skills.

@DocStrange,
When I called her from her backpage listing, she wanted to know what type of things I wanted done. So I gave her a list. She came over to my place and did everything on the list. What skill set is there when spanking someone? Or have that person kiss your feet? Or worship your ass?

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 1:26:43 PM

DocStrange

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

[I]I'm a little skeptical that the person you booked is really getting 20 client hours per week

You're not alone, LadyPact. I know several pro Dommes and ProDisciplinarians. Some are doing it because they are caregivers that need flexible hours. Some have health issues that make conventional daytime hours impossible. I know of one that has convictions in her past that would make her fail a background check.

Some are earning a decent living, but none of them approach $100k.

I think there are a wide variety of reasons why people Pro Domme. Some do it as a hobby, they enjoy it and why not make some money as they are enjoying their hobby. Some do it because they can work as little or as much as they want to and not have to do the 9 to 5 routine. As supplemental income it is really nice to be able to set your own hours. Some just truly have a passion they wish to share. The equipment is expensive and the money they charge is simply to cover their costs.

I am going to deviate for a little to talk about costs. When you work for a company, The overhead costs associated with employing a person (benefits, cube space, utilities etc) is typically computed at around 1.3X of the employee salary. For example if the employee makes $50,000/year that actual cost to the company is $65,000. They have to pay your salary ($50,000) plus they pay for your benefits, they pay to heat/cool the space you work in, pay for electricity you use etc. You get the idea.

For a Pro Domme those overhead costs are there also with the exception of benefits if she happens to work or have benefits from a spouse. For the Pro Domme those overhead costs are typically much higher because there is no economy of scale unless she is a head Mistress and employing other Dommes. Any BDSM equipment is very expensive. Pro Dommes generally are not getting quantity discounts when buying BDSM equipment the way a business can when buying lets say office desks. That overhead costs for a Pro Domme is running 2X to 3X versus the average employee at 1.3X.

As with any business, it takes hard work and many hours for a person to make the business successful as their primary / only source of income. If it was easy, many more would being doing it. But for those few who are successful at it, they can make a decent living at it. And for the exceptional few, they can make a lucrative living at it.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 2:47:26 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbybound

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874

The skillset can be learned and/or faked. The mindset ? Who knows, you are probably right Dizzy. I don't think I ever had much in the way of morals, so if a woman chose that path, it never bothered me at all.

I disagree with this statement. The skillset is not easy to fake though many have tried. Many have seen the $$$ for quick money and think it is easy. These people are rather easy to spot especially if you have been into the scene for a while.

The skillset can learned but it is not something you will pick up in a week or two. People spend years mastering their skills. And unless you have a passion for it, you are not going to invest the time required to learn the skills.

@DocStrange,
When I called her from her backpage listing, she wanted to know what type of things I wanted done. So I gave her a list. She came over to my place and did everything on the list. What skill set is there when spanking someone? Or have that person kiss your feet? Or worship your ass?

Well, not everyone wants to be spanked. You need a skill set to know how to bind someone without doing damage. How to flog someone without doing damage. How kick balls with out doing damage. How to paddle without doing damage.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 3:40:00 PM

DocStrange

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbybound

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874
The skillset can be learned and/or faked. The mindset ? Who knows, you are probably right Dizzy. I don't think I ever had much in the way of morals, so if a woman chose that path, it never bothered me at all.

I disagree with this statement. The skillset is not easy to fake though many have tried. Many have seen the $$$ for quick money and think it is easy. These people are rather easy to spot especially if you have been into the scene for a while.

The skillset can learned but it is not something you will pick up in a week or two. People spend years mastering their skills. And unless you have a passion for it, you are not going to invest the time required to learn the skills.

@DocStrange,
When I called her from her backpage listing, she wanted to know what type of things I wanted done. So I gave her a list. She came over to my place and did everything on the list. What skill set is there when spanking someone? Or have that person kiss your feet? Or worship your ass?

I was giving you the benefit of the doubt that the person you saw was an actual Pro Domme versus and escort. Are you now saying she was not a skilled experienced Pro Domme? Just a person off the street brand new to the lifestyle?

As Osidegirl stated it does take skill. Where to spank, how to spank, how to make the person want it, how not to hurt the person. How to leave or not leave marks based on the client's requirements.

Anyone can spank, anyone can swing a whip. To do it with skill and precision takes time and practice. To take the person to the point where they cannot tell pleasure from pain is a skill not easily learned.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 6:20:02 PM

cloudboy

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I just read a FEMDOM profile wanting a "real slave" who would buy her expensive dinners and meet her various other needs. After setting these high standards, she then made it clear that anyone writing her "had to have a car."

^^ I kind of cracked up at this. Times appear to be tough all around.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 6:49:43 PM

DesFIP

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The other thing is that Backpage is not reputable. It has under aged on it who are being forced by human traffickers. They don't get to keep any of the money.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 7:36:20 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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Oh dear, that's more than sketchy

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/30/2016 7:37:39 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbybound
@DocStrange,
When I called her from her backpage listing, she wanted to know what type of things I wanted done. So I gave her a list. She came over to my place and did everything on the list. What skill set is there when spanking someone? Or have that person kiss your feet? Or worship your ass?

You paid $300.00 (at a $100.00 discount, no less) for that?

How confident would you have been had she agreed to swing a single tail, engaged in fire play, violet wand, or any form of medical play?

Look. It's really obvious from this and other posts that you're just interested in the sexual aspects of kink, rather than actual topping skills. I'll agree. It doesn't really take a whole lot of skill to bend over so somebody can lick your ass. Would you trust the same woman to whip you?

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/31/2016 12:37:47 AM

PeonForHer

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FR

I'd always vaguely assumed that a necessary part of the pro-domme's skill set was her ability to get inside her client's head in order to 'be' the domme of the client's imagination. Isn't it that aspect that's the most difficult, causes so many would-bes to fall by the wayside and ultimately causes even the successful ones to burn out?

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/31/2016 2:15:50 AM

FieryOpal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
FR

I'd always vaguely assumed that a necessary part of the pro-domme's skill set was her ability to get inside her client's head in order to 'be' the domme of the client's imagination. Isn't it that aspect that's the most difficult, causes so many would-bes to fall by the wayside and ultimately causes even the successful ones to burn out?

Considering how devoid of rational thinking these clients' *heads* actually are, I can't imagine it would be any kind of complicated, thought-provoking, or time-consuming process.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/31/2016 2:39:49 AM

Lucylastic

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I will have to put in my experience with a prodomme
This particular lady could have one session with a client, and would write down everything, and have a " plan" on her sessions with him, based on his laundry list, then catered to her style. She was incredible at pulling out "information" that made her incredibly astute with most of her stable.
Of course all prodommes/fin dommes/in call girls are not created "equal"
Personal attitude comes into it.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/31/2016 5:42:25 AM

DarkSteven

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So... what skills are required to spank?

I'm glad you asked. I've been a spanko for about fifteen years.

Areas to be careful of, such as spine and kidneys. Which implements are fine with those careful areas, and how to use implements that are not necessarily fine. How to handle a bottom's unexpected panic attack. How to provide aftercare. Different rhythms. Combining spanking with things like hair pulling and neck contact, and how to avoid triggers when doing so. Face slapping, which must be done very carefully and deliberately, and yet is most effective when done to appear to be done spontaneously. Odd things that can be incorporated, such as back percussion, or a squeezing hug in the otk position.

Different positions, and the nuances of each one. For example, otk is more intimate and allows a lot of of intimate access, while bent over a desk allows for more leverage for hard disciplinary spankings. The diaper and wheelbarrow positions are more revealing and embarrassing.

The use of corner time. The addition of other activities such as lines for punishment sessions.

How to create and reinforce different headspaces, such as disciplinary, etc. Inclusion of humiliation.

How to use different implements such as floggers, canes, paddles, whips, sjamboks (not common, but a learned art all in itself), tawses, quirts, hands. How to care for various implements.

I apologize - the above list is incomplete, but it's just off the top of my head.

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RE: Do You Believe Pro-Dommes Make A Good Living? - 3/31/2016 3:27:40 PM

DocStrange

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I will build further on DarkSteven’s comments. I wanted to dig deeper on what I mean by skills of a Pro Domme anyways. I am a little bit passionate about this subject as I have had exposure for many years to the Pro side of things in a variety of different forms. This includes paying a Pro Domme, yes I have paid a Pro Domme, to making custom furniture for several Pro dungeons, to being the Alpha in different Pro dungeons. You may or may not believe me, but what I am sharing is via my personal experience and observations. I just wanted you to know where my point of view is coming from.

I will be the first to say I am not the most articulate person when it comes to the written word. I will do my best to try and explain what I mean.

First off I am going to say that if you are new to the lifestyle or never had the pleasure of meeting/playing with an experienced Domme, it is going to be hard to understand or know what is meant by skills that we are speaking of in this thread. In life, many times it is hard to fully appreciate something unless you have experienced it in person.

Digging deeper into Pro Domme Skills I spoke of in earlier posts, I really see 4 major areas the Pro Dommes needs to have skills in to be successful. I do not consider any Domme who carries a whip in her purse and charges for sessions to be a Pro Domme. I am talking about the Domme who is successful at charging a fee for her BDSM services. Notice I said BDSM. I am not talking about escorts or prostitutes. I am talking about the person who has a true passion for BDSM and is making a living out of it whether it be full time or just some supplemental income. Here are the 4 major skill sets I observed one needs to have.

1 The Skill of Knowing the Human Body:
A good Pro Domme will need to know the medical aspects of the human body in the area she specializes in. If it is Shibari then she will need to know where the body can support weight, where the body cannot be stressed, ie: Joints can be damaged like wrist if improperly tied or stressed. If she does electro-play she will need to know what is safe and what is not. Electricity should never cross the heart. Whipping, where to hit, how to hit, how hard to hit. And I can go on and on for every type of play. A Pro Domme will need to be educated in many areas of the human body.

2 The Skill of Technique:
Next is technique. A good Pro Domme needs to know technique. If it is Shibari, then she needs to know how to tie knots. If its whipping, she needs to know how to whip. Do you hit the same area over and over or do you land each blow close but spaced apart? BDSM has many elements. There are many fetishes. CBT, ass worship, watersports, whipping, electro-play, ADB, Role Playing, are just a few to mention. A good Pro Domme will be well versed in the various techniques in a variety of play types.

3 The Skill of the Human Mind:
The skill of being able to get inside someone’s head during play. A lot of people think that it is easy. And if you only play with 1 person that may be true (but had not been my experience). A good Pro Domme must have the ability to get into the head of the sub she is being paid to play with. Many times this is not a person she knows. The ability to be able to read a stranger and get in their head is really skilled talent that not a lot of people have. I would almost argue this is a natural gift that can be honed versus a skill that is learned. I say this because I have never seen it taught. That does not mean it cannot be done, just that I have not seen it done. I have always seen the talent their already and with some coaching it gets honed to a fine art.

4 The Skill of Knowing How to Run a Business:
I say this from the point of the Pro Domme either making this her main source of income or supplementing her current income. In previous posts I briefly touched on costs associated with Pro Domming. While she may charge $150/hr, she is not profiting $150/hr. I will not revist the math stated in the other post. The point I am making here is she needs to know how to manage money. And we all know a lot of people do not know how to manage money. So yes this is a skill that is needed in order to be a successful Pro Domme just as any business owner needs to know this skill.

In Summary:
For those that thinking being a Pro Domme is easy, I am going to obviously disagree for the reasons stated above. Having a whip and charging for sessions does not make one a Pro Domme. Personally I think it takes a lot of talent and skill to be able to cater to a wide variety of clientele and be successful at it. I have seen many try it but few have been successful at it.

As to how much can one make at it, that will depend on the individual and what their motivation is. I have seen everything from just wanting to buy more equipment to having a 4,000 sq ft dungeon with every toy imaginable and living the lifestyle every hour of every day. I will let you do your own math on how much money it would take for that. But I can tell you it is more than 100K per year :)

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