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RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/20/2006 3:26:50 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

original hizgeorgiapeach

The Goreans hate the mainstream BDSMers. The mainstreamers hate the Goreans. Both of those groups despise those of us who abstain from Power Exchange and prefer to stick to purely physical consensual kink. The male supremists hate the female supremists and vice versa. The ones who call themselves slaves look down on those who call themselves submissive and vice versa. Yes, there are going to be exceptions to all of the above - so if the shoe doesn't fit, don't try to force your foot into it. And if the foo does shit, try to avoid stepping in the middle of it.

The shoe doesn't fit for you. And the foo hasn't shit in your path.

I stand corrected, thank you for pointing this out to me..... Just goes to show what happens when you are too cold to sleep and don't use the comforts of a bottle of scotch to warm the cockles of the heart and anti-freeze the brain cells (all tho of them)

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to hizgeorgiapeach)

Post #: 41

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/20/2006 4:00:11 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen;

Tolerance is a selective behavior. There are certain things we grow up with, to which molds our behavior. Model from parents, then school chums on the playground, neighborhood cliques and such, just starts the life long personal perception of what is acceptable and what is not.

With information, personal experiences and inter-actions with individuals we as individuals, have an ability to change our tolerances when our mind is able to embrace the justification for it. However, there are those who will never be tolerant. Regardless of the fence riding, I've witnessed a few individuals that make great sport of fanning the flames of intolerance and take great joy in their ability to stir the pot. How they are allowed to do such, is through the "fear" of not being seen as fair or intolerant of those who behave badly and beyond the context of scene and or lifestyle safety. Perhaps it is the normal now, ever since "Political Correctness" has been required as freedoms to really say what one thinks is automaticly considered racial, prejudicial and or bias. This does add to the "speaking with forked tongue and or speaking out of both sides out of your mouth."

In my mind's eye, looking back on the past few years of the scene in my area, on-line and on other forums, I see selective tolerance. More tolerance is given to who is popular and in power, with local groups and or clubs. No different than that of National politics and or society and or civilization tolerances and or lack there of. War is the obvious statement to a class of tolerances and lack thereof. But, this is what I see as a truth-- Those who create and make wars are usually not the ones who fight them. Perhaps the 'call to arms' should be put into question a bit more before we have leaders attack others. This can start within the community-at-large. Perhaps it will then be seen that the community-at-large is not the problem but, a few individuals that have a big personal problem and or bias/prejudices; rather than a safety and other issues within the community, when it comes to practicing a salad bar full of "styles" in practicing a D/s, M/s, S&M and or BDSM.

True, you can never make everybody happy. However, the first priority is seeking individual happiness and the ability to look into the mirror, knowing that you have been the best person you are able to be and regardless of other's appreciation or lack there of, you have no shame in your mind's eye of what you believe is just and kind.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 42

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/20/2006 4:27:22 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

What a sad state of afairs CM has lowered it's self to when people have to dig into the archives and attack some one who no longer posts or even visits the forums any more... Truely sad and disgusting....

This post and the one by LA regarding the same person is a good reason why I will be deciding if I leave CM permanantly or just severely restrict my posts and converse with the few friends who keep me comming back....

You should try paying attention to the topic at hand -- it is about tolerance or intolerance as the case may be, and a side discussion turned to some glaring examples of the latter. Pity that they didn't chose a recent example of similar behavior so they could effectively call out someone who is still here instead of someone that's gone. Perhaps that would have made you happier.

It is interesting, though, that stef referred to some of candy's "drama whoring", and now you resort to it yourself with the old guilt trip of "you're all so bad I don't think I can play with you anymore". It is an effective techinque to make yourself feel popular when it results in the expected replies saying "oh please don't leave, IB, because we love you so", but remember there are plenty who will glady add a "don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out" too. But as we could see with candy's threads, such drama whoring often has that kind of polarizing effect.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 43

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/20/2006 6:56:33 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Dont ever assujme you know me that well that you can accuse me of using guilt trips. You may lie to people like that, I dont. I state what is on my mind and what I am thinking of doing. You apparently can not deal with some one who is honest and says what they mean. Were this not the case I would have said nothing. It is known to quite a few that for some time I have been considering leaving or limiting my involvement for several reasons some of which has to do with the content of some posts. I stated clearly that I stayed only to enjoy the company of a few friends. This is why one option I am considering is to severly limit any future involvement in the forums. These friends I can count on one hand.. From private comments made to me on a regular basis, I am under no misunderstanding of my lack of popularity, and frankly, popularity has never been my forte or desire. I am not a people person and have difficultity in expressing myself in a manner which appears to be popular here, and I do not ever kiss arse to gain approval. Of those who would either be happy to see me go or who would tell; me not to let the door hit me in the arse on the way out, I have known for some time that your name would be near the top of the list.. Yes I'd have prefered that they tore into some one here for what they did is an act of cowardliness. That I am aware one of the people I refered to was in part the reason that the subject of their remarks left should be of no surprise to you since there are a number of posts when I have defended a friend (pinky) from unjustified attacks, something which I have never seen you do. But of course you are not that important that I have read every post you have made so I may be wrong... ....

< Message edited by IronBear -- 7/20/2006 7:40:55 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 44

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/20/2006 7:10:56 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alastair

For me one of the Greatest things in this lifestyle has been our acceptance and tolerance I was taught be we dom switch submisive male, female, non of us are of lesser worth we just have different needs and desires.

In general, people in this "lifestyle" are no more accepting or tolerant than those in any other subset of the population. People are people no matter where their interests lie.

~stef

Agreed!

Disagree. As a group we are more tolerant than the general population. Can I prove it...no, but I think on a general message board if you brought it the stuff we do, you would be ridiculed enough to use up all your disk space.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Sab)

Post #: 45

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/20/2006 7:12:06 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

IB is a stand-up guy.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 46

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/20/2006 8:42:07 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

This community, like any other in that it has its good eggs and its bad eggs. When a person believes in something strongly enough it can be easy for them not to be open minded and see the other person's side of the issue. Sometimes belief can make us feel we have to reach out and teach another person our way of thinking, just like some religions go door to door trying to save people.

I do not believe in female or male supremacy, I believe everyone is equal regardless of gender, race or religion. Yet, I have had so many men try to shove that male supremacy thing down my throat that I just want to scream SHUT the fuck up, I don't want to hear it its bullshit as far as I'm concerned.

So what I try to do is avoid the whole issue if possible, but if I see it or hear it, I will jump in and give my opinion, yet I will not try to force onto anyone. But if someone starts with me, then they've opened a door they probably will wish that they had left closed.

All in all online you can block/ignore and in real life just walk away. I've often heard the clubs can be cliquey and therefore I have yet to join one. It would be fun to be able to hang out with some people in the community, yet I don't want the drama introduced into my life.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 47

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/21/2006 12:27:49 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alastair
I have in the past taken people new to the lifestyle to events and clubs and there first impression has always been how friendly and understanding everyone has been, I would hate to see this change. Play safe and have fun Alastair.

Could this be because they are "fresh meat"?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Alastair)

Post #: 48

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/21/2006 12:48:57 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

Of course I'm tolerant. Of everybody! Really, I am!

Except the posers. The posers and the trolls. We just can't have trolls hanging around.

And the wannabes. They aren't our kind of people, are they? Of course not.

And those wankers who claim that BDSM isn't about sex. Silly buggers! Of course it's about sex. Why else would anyone bother with it?

OH! And those members of that "Ultra-uber-super-secret European House of BDSM with a history going back 500 years but they can't tell us about it because then they would have to kill us." Un-orthodox splitters, that lot is!

Goat ropers. Heaven forbid we ever let a goat-roper in here!

But everyone else is okay.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 49

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/21/2006 12:52:04 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Evil Geoff, you just crack me up!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

Post #: 50

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/21/2006 10:44:36 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Evil Geoff, you just crack me up!

- Susan

*WEG*
Glad I got to bring a smile to your face, Susan!

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 51

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/22/2006 3:47:55 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

If you're referring to her thread on 'High Monogamy', no one was bashing monogamy there. Pinky set her ideas about her particular brand of monogamy above everyone else's, and then started with her usual drama whoring when she was called on that behavior.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

This was another (in)famous thread from that time by the same author that ran over tons of pages....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_228753/mpage_1/key_straight%2Cwoman/tm.htm

wow - was that really necessary?

Are we going to start a witch hunt now for someone who isnt even here? How very 'brave' of everyone.

People may have personal thoughts and dislikes for certqain posters on the message boards - but hey - lets just show everyone that people in BDSM are NOT more tollerant. Maybe more bitchy - but I guess thats the whole PE thang people have going on....

(Actually have to wonder why the mods arent pulling a couple of these more personal attack posts on members)

quote:

What a sad state of afairs CM has lowered it's self to when people have to dig into the archives and attack some one who no longer posts or even visits the forums any more... Truely sad and disgusting....

This post and the one by LA regarding the same person is a good reason why I will be deciding if I leave CM permanantly or just severely restrict my posts and converse with the few friends who keep me comming back....

IB - seriously - hope you don't decide to leave, your posts are always fair and never pick on individuals, unlike many - sometimes, time away can work wonders. I know it did for me. I certinly always look to your posts for a dignified and unbiased opinion.

I think this post has shown just how intolerant the 'community' is (or maybe its just CM?).

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 52

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/22/2006 1:24:11 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

wow - was that really necessary?
Are we going to start a witch hunt now for someone who isnt even here? How very 'brave' of everyone.

How was pointing out what happened in that thread a witch hunt? Don't let your friendship with pinky cloud the issue.

quote:

I think this post has shown just how intolerant the 'community' is (or maybe its just CM?).

There is no "community."

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 53

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/22/2006 1:34:31 PM

nogardthe4

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

Oh, don't worry about the people that 'claim that BDSM isn't about sex'... Because if they truly practice what they preach, then they aren't reproducing anyways!
The Dragon

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff

Of course I'm tolerant. Of everybody! Really, I am!

Except the posers. The posers and the trolls. We just can't have trolls hanging around.

And the wannabes. They aren't our kind of people, are they? Of course not.

And those wankers who claim that BDSM isn't about sex. Silly buggers! Of course it's about sex. Why else would anyone bother with it?

OH! And those members of that "Ultra-uber-super-secret European House of BDSM with a history going back 500 years but they can't tell us about it because then they would have to kill us." Un-orthodox splitters, that lot is!

Goat ropers. Heaven forbid we ever let a goat-roper in here!

But everyone else is okay.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to EvilGeoff)

Post #: 54

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/22/2006 3:31:27 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I think this post has shown just how intolerant the 'community'

The 'community' is not any more or less tolerant than the population in general.

And there is nothing wrong with posting links to threads that another poster is looking for. I don't care who the op is.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 55

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/22/2006 3:40:49 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

wow - was that really necessary?
Are we going to start a witch hunt now for someone who isnt even here? How very 'brave' of everyone.

How was pointing out what happened in that thread a witch hunt? Don't let your friendship with pinky cloud the issue.

quote:

I think this post has shown just how intolerant the 'community' is (or maybe its just CM?).

There is no "community."

~stef

I never let my feelings for anyone cloud any issue, thought you would have realised that by now stef - but bringing up a particular person and citing them with name calling wasnt really necessary for the discussion at hand. A simple link to the thread would have been all it took.

I would suggest in response that you dont let your dislike of said individual cloud the issue either.

And as for 'community' - at least we agree on that one

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 56

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/22/2006 3:45:42 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

I think this post has shown just how intolerant the 'community'

The 'community' is not any more or less tolerant than the population in general.

Precisely my point - thank you for agreeing.

quote:

And there is nothing wrong with posting links to threads that another poster is looking for. I don't care who the op is.

You are right, theres nothing wrong with posting links to other threads - However I see many people making helpful posts to required links without having to feel the need to make side comments on how 'infamous' a poster or post might or might not be...

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 57

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/22/2006 4:17:56 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I never let my feelings for anyone cloud any issue, thought you would have realised that by now stef - but bringing up a particular person and citing them with name calling wasnt really necessary for the discussion at hand.

This would be a more appropriate rebuke had I actually called her names. I did describe her behavior in what I feel was an accurate manner, but I didn't call her any names.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 58

RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? - 7/23/2006 3:44:41 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I never let my feelings for anyone cloud any issue, thought you would have realised that by now stef - but bringing up a particular person and citing them with name calling wasnt really necessary for the discussion at hand.

This would be a more appropriate rebuke had I actually called her names. I did describe her behavior in what I feel was an accurate manner, but I didn't call her any names.

~stef

stef - I am sure you did what you felt was necessary. A description on how someone types is indicating how one thinks someone is... it is still name calling however you look at it. I have a huge amount of respect for you stef, simply because you are a person who calls it like she sees it and doesn't back down because you know your principles and stick to them. Saying someone is drama whoring is calling them said name - why is that even necessary for the post? It wasn't - but it got your point across nonetheless. No ones saying you or anyone else hasn't the right to voice opinions even with inflammetory comments, but don't be shocked or act innocent when a handful of people disagree with your opinion and find you statement to be inaccurate. Forums and discussion give the oppotunity to share balanced opinions. I would have responded the same if it had been anyone else, not just pinky because I felt it an inappropriate comment to the thread that lead to others citing 'infamy' and other such comments. A link is all it takes - however, some people know and understand the power of words (funny - I am having deja vu).

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 59

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