A Tolerant comunity ???? (Full Version)

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Alastair -> A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 2:25:28 AM)

I recently happened upon a profile that stated she was taught males are the lesser species.  Now i fully understand there are individuals both male and female who wish to be nothing and that is a choise they have made and something that works for them. But i did wonder how someone with these views would cope if they ended up in a situation where there were Male Doms as well as Dommes ?.   For me one of the Greatest things in this lifestyle has been our acceptance and tolerance I was taught be we dom switch submisive male, female, non of us are of  lesser worth we just have different needs and desires. I have in the past taken people new to the lifestyle to events and clubs and there first impression has always been how friendly and understanding everyone has been, I would hate to see this change.  Play safe and have fun Alastair.



bandit25 -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 2:29:00 AM)

As has been stated so many times, there are all different kinds of people in every walk of life. 



stef -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:07:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alastair

For me one of the Greatest things in this lifestyle has been our acceptance and tolerance I was taught be we dom switch submisive male, female, non of us are of  lesser worth we just have different needs and desires.

In general, people in this "lifestyle" are no more accepting or tolerant than those in any other subset of the population.  People are people no matter where their interests lie.

~stef



Sab -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:11:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alastair

For me one of the Greatest things in this lifestyle has been our acceptance and tolerance I was taught be we dom switch submisive male, female, non of us are of  lesser worth we just have different needs and desires.

In general, people in this "lifestyle" are no more accepting or tolerant than those in any other subset of the population.  People are people no matter where their interests lie.

~stef


Agreed!



Caretakr -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:13:40 AM)

Tolerant..........

Wanders away laughing...............



heartfeltsub -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:13:49 AM)

Completely agree.



diamonddreamlove -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:15:30 AM)

Wish we were all tolerant of each other unfortunately the only place true tolerance does or could ever exist is within ourselves and then i think if we are the only person present.  Wonders what would happen if everyone on here took one moment to sit back and not judge for a minute.  Naw can't even happen within myself.



Sunshine119 -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:19:58 AM)

This community?  Tolerant?  Just ask the Goreans how tolerant many of the WIITWD people are of their lifestyle.  Or for that matter, just stick around awhile and watch the flames when someone stands up and says they prefer a monogomous relationship!

Hmmm......think I'll make a batch of chocolate covered popcorn and get a glass of Merlot?  Anyone want to join me to watch this one?  LOL!



CrappyDom -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:35:55 AM)

Sunshine, even I am more tolerant of Goreans than they are of us.  Mosts posts in their consist of them patting each other on the back for the many ways they are more real than us, deeper than us, more honorable than us, braver than us, and god knows how else they are "better" than us.

If it weren't for a tiny handful like IB I would dismiss the entire lot.  So in fact, I think we show great tolerance for Goreans here.

As for tolerance, I do not tolerate those who use force,  intimidation, teachings, or birth to subjugate others and I never will.  I do my best to tolerate the rest.

And Sunshine, when have you seen people mocked here for preferring monogamous relationships?  I certainly prefer them even if I am not looking for one at the moment and I have seen many posts regarding them that were not flamed.



mistoferin -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:38:38 AM)

I don't feel that anyone is superior to anyone regardless of how they identify. I don't think though, that people who see others as inferior are being intolerant...I think they are being pompous idiots.

People talk about making judgements and intolerance like they are curse words. It is perfectly ok to make judgements...actually all mature adults should have the ability to do this. It's perfectly ok to decide what you will be tolerant of or not.

I don't have to be tolerant...I don't have to be non judgemental. The only thing I really need to try to keep in focus is common courtesy and respect....and even that has limits. If I host a play party at my
home and you come there and your kink is to play while you are stoned....I don't have to be tolerant of that. I can make a judgement and say that is not something I wish to tolerate in my home. If you want to take a shit on your slave in the middle of my living room because that is your kink...I don't have to tolerate that. I can make a judgement and say that is not something I wish to tolerate in my home. To make judgements and be intolerant are not always bad things.



TheHouseOfHussey -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:42:49 AM)

Very well said, and I agree.



deltadawn -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:45:30 AM)

I am going to respond although I probably should not...lol

In reality, I find much more tolerance in my local area than I ever find online.  People online seem to need to 'validate' all the time.  Not lumping everyone into one pail I promise, but in reading the boards today there are so many who seem to need to BE RIGHT .......surprisingly actually.

So yes, I believe that generally I find tolerance in the lifestyle.....just not as much here online.

No disrespect meant.
dawn



WhiteRadiance -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:51:56 AM)

One thing that helps me get through my life is asking the question, "Does this matter?" and  "Is this important to me?"  
It does not help me be more tolerant, but it helps me focus on what is important to me. Let the others tend to their own affairs. :)



vield -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:53:03 AM)

Very good point, deltadawn. In your local BD/SM community you are there facing folks in person and hopefully courtesy is common. Unfortunately too many folks on line feel a statement of opinion which they do not agree with is an attack they MUST counter. Unfortunately insecure people feel the desire to attack others, too. Many feel anonymous behind their keyboard and say things they'd not dream of saying to people in person.
Perhaps the other person seems unreal, when one only knows them as words on a screen?

Your mileage may vary,

vield



IronBear -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 6:56:54 AM)

Strangely, I have found the reverse to deltadawn. The Brisbane BDSM Community is both intollerant and highly judgemental of all who are not part of their clique to a point they are happy to attempt to drive others unerground or out of the lifestyle.... 



deltadawn -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 7:01:02 AM)

Ok,

I will admit to finding some communities that are intolerant and judgemental.  Seem to be the ones we stay clear of though. 

It just disturbed me this morning to read some of the comments I was reading.....guess I am now the one being intolerant..lol.

Back to the drawing board..
dawn



Sunshine119 -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 7:02:42 AM)

CD,

There was a several hundred post thread in response to a OP made my Candystripper around Christmas (I tried to look it up but could only access her last 300 posts) in regards to monogomy that became downright caustic.  I was absolutely taken aback by the viciousness of people on both sides of the argument here.

BTW, I do agree with you regarding some Goreans as well.  Some of them are as intolerant of the WIITWD people who flame them.  Thank goodness for IronBear.  I have been told by a Gorean slave that I'm not real because I don't act in the way she learned slaves that slaves are supposed to act (BTW, I'm not a slave nor have ever claimed to be one).

If by chance, LA is around perhaps she will remember the title of the post that started the flame war regarding Candy, and can post the link for the edification of anyone who feels that we have the corner on tolerance....lol

Want to share my popcorn and  Merlot?

Sunshine



CreativeDominant -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 7:28:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deltadawn

Ok,

I will admit to finding some communities that are intolerant and judgemental.  Seem to be the ones we stay clear of though. 

It just disturbed me this morning to read some of the comments I was reading.....guess I am now the one being intolerant..lol.

Back to the drawing board..
dawn


There is nothing wrong with being disturbed by what you read.  My thinking is that, as an adult, I do make judgments about certain behaviors and lines of thinking and that I will not tolerate certain behaviors. 

If I am picked to be on a jury at a murder trial, I will be asked sooner or later to make a judgment about the accused's guilt.  Society at large does not tolerate murder and neither do I.  Just because someone has not committed murder, if I find myself in disagreement with them, I have made a judgment about their line of thinking.  That does not mean they do not have the right to continue along with their line of thought intact and unchanged by my viewpoint of it as being wrong.  Does someone have the right to do breathplay with their submissive?  If it is part of their play with each other and they have no problem with it and since I am not a part of their relationship, sure they do.  That doesn't mean that I still have not made a judgment that it is unsafe and that I will not tolerate it at a play party in my home.
Does that make me narrow-minded, judgmental, and intolerant?  In their eyes or the eyes of others, maybe.  But can you see where their viewpoint is clouded by the fact that it is their belief that I take issue with and the practice of said behavior in my home that I will not tolerate?





MistressLorelei -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 7:30:30 AM)

By the human nature we have all been given, judgment begins long before someone posts that 'females are superior' in her profile.  One can "judge", and still be "tolerant".  Most who say no group is superior, often manage to be thankful they are not 'trailer trash', or are proud of their ethnic backgrounds, their levels of education, they they are homeowners, etc., because 'to them', it's better to be 'that' way.  They often are not tolerant of "the snobs" or the "racists",  the "republicans", or "the Gors" who are not tolerant of them.

My profile states that males are inferior to women...  Is it true?  Maybe not to you, and that's okay, but, I find it ironic how the OP is judging someone like me for not thinking like he does.... and right here within 'the bdsm community'.  My thinking this way does not mean I would  protest, or not get along with  male Doms at a bdsm activity. 

I think males are wonderful.  I don't agree with the male Dom/female sub dynamic, but I accept it.  I have Dom (male) friends, who don't agree with my way of thinking either, and we get along great.

To clarify.... I don't find all males inferior to all females, but in general, I find that qualities bestowed upon women, by nature, give them a special gift to handle life. The experiences I have had and seen since I can remember, have led me to this conclusion.... and it has nothing to do with bdsm... it's life in general, and I get along socially with most everyone.... inside and outside the bdsm community.



Caretakr -> RE: A Tolerant comunity ???? (7/20/2006 7:30:41 AM)

Here's a good example of how intolerance goes. I do the sca, and I know a lot of african American people I really like there..I hang out with them, and we have a good time.

But I go into an "ethnic" commumity of the same skin color, it's different. These people often tend to be bigots with a victim mentality. And I'm the enemy on sight. I'm probably going to react to this negativity the same, or just stay the hell away.

But if they actually treated me like a HUMAN, rather than a class-I'd feel differently. As it is, I have no tolerance of them, because they show me none. It's no different here-give none, get none.



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