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RE: Struggles - 7/21/2006 6:47:49 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
I've been ormented by bad choices in patners, but never by my nature.

I can echo that. (With a "t" and an "r" added.) Actually, as in the well-known saying, the bad choice, since it didn't kill me, just made me stronger. It's all part of learning and growing.

Bob

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

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RE: Struggles - 7/21/2006 5:04:06 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
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Im not sure that what Ive experienced would be best described as "tormented" but there have been distinct moments in time when Ive had to stop and sort of re-frame things in my head according to my own experiences as opposed to what "the rest of the world" thinks about things I was engaging in with my partner. Sometimes these moments/periods have been fraught with emotion that I would say was not particularly pleasant. I dont think it's because WIITWD is somehow wrong, I just think it's hard to ignore the beliefs prevelant in our culture telling us that WIITWD is sick or wrong or both. I seriously doubt that these feelings are a thing of the past. I will continue to encounter them as openly as I can and try to find something worthwhile there. At the very least, I can process them masochistically and offer them to my dom.

I was disappointed in that movie. The only scene that I really liked was the one where she stayed with her palms down on the desk (wearing her mother-in-law's wedding gown) until he came back and and claimed her.

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I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

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RE: Struggles - 7/21/2006 10:22:57 PM

hispossession

Posts: 161
Joined: 6/16/2006
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I spent many years being 'dominant' in my life and in my activities... so it was a struggle for me that submission to Master came so easily...

it's kinda like saying that it's wierd that it's not weird... does that make sense?

I felt that I should be fighting this ache to submit to him rather than aching for the fact that I wasn't at his feet... that I shouldn't be so okay with the idea of being involved with two people rather than just one...

I think that it's primarily just overcoming society's programming about what is acceptable and what isn't and not worrying about anything except that I love, adore, respect, and care for these wonderful people who I am so fortunate to be in a retlationship with...

not sure if that's torment but the deprogramming has given me a headache a few times

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I do not want to be the leader...
Anais Nin

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RE: Struggles - 7/22/2006 2:07:56 AM

thegunslinger

Posts: 81
Joined: 6/4/2006
From: Grand Rapids, Michigan
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I'm going with the "What kind of sick fuck am I?" Had it happen alot, it's not an easy thing to get over sometimes. I just needed the right my person, my slave, to say "Hey, it's ok to get excitied to go to Dom Depot, we can try the new rope out later."

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"The essence of domination is to take another's power and then use it for mutual pleasure." - John Warren

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RE: Struggles - 7/22/2006 1:04:02 PM

shyfem

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
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When I first saw the movie, "The Secretary", I admit that I was intrigued. I came on to it one day when I was home sick, having missed the beginning. it was also on regular cable so some things were cut. For me the movie was how I came to find D/s. Although, I did not like the way Lee was portrayed at first, I feel she came into her own and became a much happier person. Although, James Spader's character (forget his movie name) struggles with his dominance I think that they might have been trying to portray how many feel when they are in this "lifestyle" if at only in the beginning of their journey.

For me, the realization of who/what I was, was sometimes difficult to process at first. Thoughts like "why do I feel the need to let a man control me when I should be a strong, independant woman?" entered my mind along with "why can't I be normal?" whatever that is, would also nag at me. That was until I met my first Dom, he showed me that it was ok to feel/want these things. Since then I have grown a lot and accepted what I am. I am probably more happy now than I ever was because I accept myself.

~shy
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Hoping all here can accept who they are, whatever they may be