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sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/23/2016 3:20:30 PM   
blinkingblythe


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/4/2016
From: New York City
Status: offline

I've been though friendships and a couple of relationships with people who are dominant, or have a more dominant personality, and the way I show respect is through some of the following (I'll use she in this post for simplicity sake, but
I mean both men and women)

If we are eating together, and she breaks off a peice of food reaches up to put it in my mouth, I don't heasitate or refuse. I don't put anything in her mouth unless she tells me that I can do that.

If she thinks my blouse needs to be adjusted, or if she wants to button the collar, whatever, I let her do it and not even say a word

When we kiss, she is the one who puts her tounge in my mouth, and I accept it, and let her lick the inside of my mouth. I don't stick my tounge in hers unless she tells me I am allowed to do it, or we are doing "tounge fencing".

If she tells me to do something, I can give input but the final decision is hers and I obey. If she punishes me for an infraction, I accept my punishment.

Also, I don't talk back to her, instead, I say "yes mam".

This is far more out of love and respect than sexual, as a true loving dom/sub relationship is more parental than anything else, and I was wondering if this ettiquite is correct. This is how I do things with a person who has a dominant role in the relationship, but I imagine there is no rigid "rules" laid out and it varies between couples/relationships. Personaly, I perfer to be the "obedient daughter", but there are relationships that are much looser as well as stricter. How do you view ettiquite and how is it like for you?
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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/23/2016 4:17:45 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I don't have D/s relationships with my friends.

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/23/2016 5:43:14 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I would find it disrespectful to attempt to force my friends to dominate me.

I would find it more respectful if they asked me what I liked instead of making assumptions.

And most dominant women I know would be turned off by a guy who was totally passive sexually.

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/24/2016 5:50:36 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blinkingblythe

I've been though friendships and a couple of relationships with people who are dominant, or have a more dominant personality, and the way I show respect is through some of the following
<snip>
This is far more out of love and respect than sexual, as a true loving dom/sub relationship is more parental than anything else, and I was wondering if this ettiquite is correct.
I imagine there is no rigid "rules" laid out and it varies between couples/relationships. Personaly, I perfer to be the "obedient daughter", but there are relationships that are much looser as well as stricter. How do you view ettiquite and how is it like for you?

This is confusing. You speak of friendships and relationships, nonsexual love and respect, then you give an example of waiting for a Dominant woman to tongue you while kissing.

Either your question has to do with social etiquette or it has to do with D/s protocol. Having a friend with a more dominant personality who may have maternal feelings toward you does not mean you have a D/s relationship with that woman. You can show her respect as an elder, but it's not her job to take responsibility for you as if you were in fact her child. D/s protocols do not apply here.

If your friendships are more than platonic, as in Friends w/Benefits, then you do as FWBs do and come to an NSA-No Strings Attached arrangement. Neither parent/child nor D/s protocols apply here either.

As for business relationships, you can take on a daughterly or apprenticeship role as a subordinate, but will need to maintain your professionalism. Nobody wants an employee who can't or won't step up to the plate and expects to be forever groomed. Again, D/s protocols do not apply in lieu of employer/employee relations and the management chain of command.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I would find it disrespectful to attempt to force my friends to dominate me.

I would find it more respectful if they asked me what I liked instead of making assumptions.

And most dominant women I know would be turned off by a guy who was totally passive sexually.

QFT. Passive sexuality is a huge turn off.
Nor can I imagine wanting a daughter to go around acting like a passive wallflower who can't think for herself without being told what to do.

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/24/2016 9:07:37 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I don't have D/s relationships with my friends.


I guess it's possible, but I can't fathom that concept either.
To each her own, but, friends and kink-related physical relationships are two different things, I think.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/25/2016 2:36:07 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
I don't have D/s relationships with my friends.


I guess it's possible, but I can't fathom that concept either.
To each her own, but, friends and kink-related physical relationships are two different things, I think.


I have friends where we put time aside on occasion to play, but it's not a sexual thing, one of them is into being tied up, so putting restrains and a bit of bondage on him and then reading a book while he's happily tied up doesn't put a massive strain on the friendship, same with one being into being whipped and the other into being caned. It's not a D/s relationship as such, that possibly wouldn't work. It's me keeping my skills up while they enjoy it, apart from that, we behave like normal friends, they drop in for a cuppa and a chat or we go to a pub. I think if we'd introduce the D/s aspect, it would make the friendship more difficult.

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/25/2016 6:57:35 AM   
BondageersT


Posts: 196
Joined: 3/8/2016
Status: offline 		you sound like a complete idiotic ignorant naïve moron.
grow up or jump off a bridge.

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/25/2016 8:39:10 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		As some others have said, I'm rather confused about what you are asking. If a friend of mine tried to feed me something without asking if I wanted a taste, I'd be rather put out. If my blouse needs adjusted a friend would just tell me and I'd do it myself. If I called my friend "Maam" my friend would give me a look as if to say "what the heck are you talking about." Friends do mutual respect, not Dominant/submissive respect. It appears that you are using the word friend and mixing it up when you actually mean relationship.

I also have to disagree with your statement that "a true dom/sub relationship is more parental than anything else." I do not think of Gary as my father. He does not consider me his daughter and in need of upbringing. There is no one "true" way a dom/sub relationship works. People do not fit into boxes that easily. Gary and I are partners. He has last say in any decisions, but we are partners. There are even times he wants me to make a decision.

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(in reply to blinkingblythe)
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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/27/2016 6:21:32 AM   
Aliendragun


Posts: 15
Joined: 4/4/2016
Status: offline 		What is described here really has nothing to do with etiquette.What you have described would lean more towards protocols negotiated by two individuals.There are only 6-7 universal rules of etiquette which are basic dungeon and party rules,however it does mean that two cannot negotiate additional rules for etiquette .Rules of etiquette are for all and protocols are for the dynamics that make up the individual relationships.Etiquette vs Protocols,there's a huge difference.

This reply is not directed at any one person

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/27/2016 7:58:51 AM   
BondageersT


Posts: 196
Joined: 3/8/2016
Status: offline 		since you are a tranny , you are probably lucky to have friends !!!
just my personal opinion. ha ha ..

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 4/29/2016 2:13:17 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If I'm a Dom with a sub, we negotiate our rules. If I'm just friends with a sub, then we use normal vanilla friends protocol.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 5/7/2016 7:31:41 PM   
whitedragonX


Posts: 75
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		Agreed. If any of my female friends wanted to have a D/s relationship with me, that would be awesome... but we would be lovers. Otherwise, I'd laugh and tell them to fuck off. jokingly of course
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I don't have D/s relationships with my friends.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 5/9/2016 9:26:40 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageersT

you sound like a complete idiotic ignorant naïve moron.
grow up or jump off a bridge.
That's ironic, because you sound like a raving lunatic.

You're welcome.


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 5/9/2016 9:29:08 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageersT

since you are a tranny , you are probably lucky to have friends !!!
just my personal opinion. ha ha ..
You know the ironic thing here is, I don't believe transgenderism is real - yet I in no way condone the kind of trans hate you're pushing. In my personal opinion, you'd be lucky to have lice, let alone friends. Even parasites have standards.


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 5/9/2016 9:43:58 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness


quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageersT

since you are a tranny , you are probably lucky to have friends !!!
just my personal opinion. ha ha ..
You know the ironic thing here is, I don't believe transgenderism is real - yet I in no way condone the kind of trans hate you're pushing. In my personal opinion, you'd be lucky to have lice, let alone friends. Even parasites have standards.


this
well apart from not believing transgenderism is real.

< Message edited by Lucylastic -- 5/9/2016 9:44:17 AM >

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 9/13/2016 10:37:03 PM   
MistressAubreee


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/10/2016
Status: offline 		Aside from the horrible transphobia shit I'm seeing in this thread....

Any D/s protocol needs to be DISCUSSED with folks prior to engaging in it, otherwise, it comes off as bizarre/creepy/strange.

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 9/15/2016 10:27:20 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		I am something called an INTJ and quite mad – defining ones personality is difficult is it not sock one bereft of a women...I will further add sock has moved onto to many more identities/.

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 9/15/2016 10:48:45 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness


quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageersT

you sound like a complete idiotic ignorant naïve moron.
grow up or jump off a bridge.
That's ironic, because you sound like a raving lunatic.

You're welcome.



This is more attention than that nutcase gets in a year in real life. I would submit that giving it attention is counterproductive.

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 9/15/2016 7:12:01 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness


quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageersT

you sound like a complete idiotic ignorant naïve moron.
grow up or jump off a bridge.
That's ironic, because you sound like a raving lunatic.

You're welcome.



This is more attention than that nutcase gets in a year in real life. I would submit that giving it attention is counterproductive.

You realize that your comment could apply equally to both quoted parties, right?

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RE: sub to dom ettiquite? - 9/15/2016 7:38:29 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline

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