Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life?

Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

crumpets -> Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/28/2016 5:29:46 PM)
Just curious, given I was both spanked and abused as a child, how many spankees here were spanked as children? Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? See recent 50-year study discussion: Spanking and Child Outcomes: Old Controversies and New Meta-Analyses Risks of Harm from Spanking Confirmed by Analysis of Five Decades of Research Interpretations: Spanking: More harm than good? Spanking Makes Kids More Defiant, Studies Suggest Spanking raises risks of anti-social behavior, 50-year study finds [image]https://terrycato.files.wordpress.com/2013/07/man-spanking-wife_2.jpg[/image] Relevant snippets: quote: The study, published in this month’s Journal of Family Psychology, looks at five decades of research involving over 160,000 children.. [The study concluded] the more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and to experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties... They defined "spanking" and contrasted it with "abuse"... quote: spanking (defined as an open-handed hit on the behind or extremities) ... “Our analysis focuses on what most Americans would recognize as spanking and not on potentially abusive behaviors,” While spanking and abuse were different, the adult behavioral results were similar... quote: “We as a society think of spanking and physical abuse as distinct behaviors,” she says. “Yet our research shows that spanking is linked with the same negative child outcomes as abuse, just to a slightly lesser degree.” Anti-social behaviors were also noted... quote: Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor tested for some long-term effects among adults who were spanked as children. Both spanking and physical abuse were associated with the same detrimental child outcomes in the same direction and nearly the same strength. The more they were spanked, the more likely they were to exhibit anti-social behavior and to experience mental health problems. They were also more likely to support physical punishment The study also notes a recent report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention discussion how spanking is related to physical child abuse... * Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect: A technical package for policy [image]http://www.femdomartists.com/femdom-humor/Femdom-Gag-Joke-Humor-Cartoon-3.jpg[/image]

mousekabob -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/28/2016 5:30:46 PM)
Never spanked or punished as a child and no my childhood has zilch to do with my kink interests. I don't get off or have any interest in punishments or anything "childhood" related.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/28/2016 5:41:24 PM)
I was abused, when I was growing up. Not like the kids cry about, today. I had kitchen chairs broken over my head. I got pretty regular beatings. A pool cue was broken over my back. Once, when I fucked up, my step-father took me out to the shed, told me to grab a shovel, back out into the yard and told me to dig a grave. A ten year old kid that's been getting regular beatings from the age of four, I was sure the grave was for me. How did it affect my "BDSM life"? I don't have one. I don't believe that violence of any kind has any place in a loving, caring, relationship. Michael

DesFIP -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/28/2016 6:02:44 PM)
The first time I was spanked was at age 48 by The Man for fun. I wasn't punished as a child. My parents explained what I did wrong and what they wanted me to do instead. The Man operates the same way. He solves the problem, we talk it out and brainstorm solutions.

rwmbk -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/28/2016 6:50:51 PM)
I'd like to see a report on the results of kids that didn't have boundaries and punishment experiences. There has to be a happy medium somewhere. There are some pretty bad grown ups out there now that don't have an appreciation for anything, and have a terrible work ethic. I'll be the first to admit maybe those years of parochial school I had have something to do with some of my anti-social behavior. But I also think those years made me better in other ways, work ethic etc.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/28/2016 7:04:37 PM)
I'm a hardcore (at least according to others, I consider what I do rather 'mild' [8\|]) edge player, on both sides of the slash. I'm extensively into restraints, humiliation, pain, etc. Everything that vanilla's think of when they think of the 'extreme' side of BDSM. I got spanked on the butt, over pants, not hard enough to leave (red) marks even 10 minutes later, maybe half a dozen times as a young (under 6) child, and always for hurting other children. Other than that I've never had any physical punishments of any kind, though I was put in the corner quite a lot, sometimes for what I (now) consider excessively long periods (1-2+ hours) considering my age.

BondageersT -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/29/2016 9:04:06 AM)
NO.

OsideGirl -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/29/2016 10:11:04 AM)
I can count the number of times I was spanked on one hand, so no. But, I can tell you that I loved playing with candles.

Cinnamongirl67 -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/29/2016 10:28:04 AM)
I don't ever remember ever being spanked as a child but as a grown up its fun! Stimulating. I'm not into bruising or blood red spankings. Just the borderline thresh hold of stimulating to almost pain. I do however being hit in the head with a broom with a knot the size of a walnut at 5 or 6. Possibly I allowed abusive mental domination at one point because the abuse I suffered was mental and emotional. Also having one set of parents as extremely religious and the other side has party hardy was confusing. So absolutely I do think those childhood experiences did shape the opening for future experiences.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/29/2016 11:17:05 AM)
Nope

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/29/2016 11:20:29 AM)
In a word.... No.

DesFIP -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/29/2016 7:13:40 PM)
Not having a punishment dynamic has no relationship to having boundaries. Consequences evolve naturally. They are not punishment. You don't study, you have to repeat the class. That's a consequence, it isn't punishment. Both my son and my stepson had difficulty putting down their Xbox when it came out. I sympathized with my son about how hard it was to study with the Xbox sitting there enticing him. I suggested that he gave me the controller on Sunday night and get it back on Fridays. Within a month he had fixed his time management problem and he didn't need that any more. Now my stepson got yelled at and told it was taken away as punishment. His response was to obsess over not having it and he failed the class and needed to go to summer school. And he continued to focus on it more and more and not focus on school. Telling someone that they're bad instead of assuring them that they are still of value with a problem causes them to give up. After all, if you're a failure who gets punishment when you don't know how to solve the problem then you might as well not waste time trying. After all, you've learned that you're going to be put down and punished anyway so why even try? Especially when the person doing this is someone you love and want to please. And since the only time they give you any attention is when they're punishing you, you'll seek out the punishment in order to get that attention.

teentie -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/30/2016 2:51:21 AM)
I was perfect so punishment never happened.

Greta75 -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/30/2016 4:41:10 AM)
I was not only spanked, slapped, head slam onto the wall, hair pulled and beaten and caned. By the way, my parents only cane me and maybe pull my ear and slapped me around. The rest were conducted by teachers and principals at school. Teachers uses a giant 1 metre black board ruler to hit you and they could break it. Principals usually uses cane. But teachers would pull your hair and scream at you and slam your head on the wall, when they scolding you. I attended a fundamental Christian school by the way. They always told us, children are sinners, and deserve punishments. Other punishment includes, being forced to stand inside a big black bin on stage, for the whole day, or kneeling on the road outside, under the hot sun for the rest of the day. But as a kid, interestingly, it's normal to come to school and see all other kids my age, and I mean like from 7 to 12 yr old, have worst wounds than me, all over their bodies from their own parents, so it was normal and we didn't think much of it. It seriously was late teenagehood that I started looking back and feel horrified what was done! Everytime I gather with my girlfriends from that school, and we talk about what it was like, we are all also like, cannot believe all that was allowed in the past. It's different now. Now, even if a teacher raise a voice on a kid and make the kid cry, the teacher will get in trouble. It's a different world now. Teachers have no more power. The only thing it has influence me, is it made me strongly believe corporal punishment are not appropriate for children! A full grown adult beating a child. That's point blank power tripping and bullying. All that bullshit about disciplining is bullshit. And bdsm wise, it affected me in the way where I cannot take punishment dynamic. I also cannot take the cane. As it brings me back to the caning I used to get, I got caned enough in my life, I don't need anymore.

samdarella -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/30/2016 5:04:03 AM)
Hell yeah I got my butt spanked as a kid. As a young child it hurt me more to know I had done something wrong. As I grew older I got a bit more than a few smacks on the butt. But I deserved a whole lot more beatings than I got. I was a horrible, incorrigible, bratty fucker who had no concern for herself. Physical punishment never deterred me from much. I was pretty sure they would stop short of putting me in the hospital or killing me. I was right. And when I grew up I realized they weren't so bad. I thanked my parents until they died for not killing me. They weren't perfect, but they did the best they could with the experiences they had to draw on. And they really did love me. I never had to spank my stepson but would have if needed. Just a swat on the butt kind of thing. But he was a very intelligent child and I used reason with him. Worked every time. I am not sure when my wires got crossed and I became a sexual masochist. It was later in life. I played around with mild bondage and light spanking when I was first exploring my sexuality but it didn't do anything for me but make we want to laugh. It took years (well over 20) to realize that I needed the D/s to go with my bdsm for it to appeal to me. Sometime around then I also found that pain turns me on. Everything from spankings to cuttings. My response to most pain inflicted by a sadist is to laugh or orgasm. Usually both but not always at the same time. It just cracks me up I turned out so twisted. And I doubt it had anything to do with my being punished as a child.

eulero83 -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/30/2016 5:49:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rwmbk I'd like to see a report on the results of kids that didn't have boundaries and punishment experiences. There has to be a happy medium somewhere. There are some pretty bad grown ups out there now that don't have an appreciation for anything, and have a terrible work ethic. I'll be the first to admit maybe those years of parochial school I had have something to do with some of my anti-social behavior. But I also think those years made me better in other ways, work ethic etc. maybe I misunderstood, but it seems that you're implying the only way to correct and educate a child is by corporal punishments, or that any other way has to be less effective as it doesn't use pain as leverage. The concept of having a duty/right to educate your offspring is not the variable in this studies, it's if using violence other than more constructive ways is more effective.

DesFIP -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/30/2016 3:45:50 PM)
My kids have a strong work ethic. It didn't come from being abused. It came from letting them follow their passions. If you have the strength to spend three hours a day practicing throwing a ball into a hoop, then you have a work ethic. You simply need to learn that you need to apply it to other things. And if shoveling horse manure in 100F temps isn't showing work ethic, or choosing to do so at 6:00 AM to avoid the heat isn't showing work ethic, then I don't know what is.

grumpyoman -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (4/30/2016 3:55:12 PM)
Mother striped my bottom and legs several times with a switch; yes, it hurt in a bad way. I remember her using a belt once. I don’t in any way feel my parents abused or beat me. I don’t feel punishment at home had any connection to my early age bdsm thoughts as I wanted spanked/paddled in school by a female teacher, but would never allow myself to get into trouble. I don’t have children and not sure which approach I would have taken on discipline.

rwmbk -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (5/1/2016 9:33:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eulero83 maybe I misunderstood, but it seems that you're implying the only way to correct and educate a child is by corporal punishments, or that any other way has to be less effective as it doesn't use pain as leverage. The concept of having a duty/right to educate your offspring is not the variable in this studies, it's if using violence other than more constructive ways is more effective. That is not what I am implying. I am just saying I have met and had to deal with some grown ups that obviously had something going wrong in their upbringing. "Adults" that could use an ass whipping :-) I believe in a balance, this positive behavior incentive thing being preached these days is so one sided as there are no consequences for bad behavior anymore.

AllyCat4U -> RE: Do you think your childhood punishment experiences affected your later adult fetish life? (5/1/2016 10:48:47 AM)
i think the studies probably had an agenda and the outcome was likely preconceived. there are just too many in my generation who are worthless basement dwellers with no desire to do anything for themselves... except play video games... in mom's basement. it makes older men much more attractive!

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875