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waiting on-line - 4/11/2004 7:30:44 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

just wondering?? how many subs have met a Domm or Domme on-line and have progressed with them, to the point of knowing your likes and There likes and dislikes. But that each quick response from You, gets one in 15 or so minutes
does it frustrate you waiting so long~

If your both really interested, what have You done to really break the ice to see if there really is a future
for the both of You

sincerely, knees2You

quote:

if a snake bites before it is charmed there is no profit
for the charmer~

Post #: 1

RE: waiting on-line - 4/11/2004 8:12:23 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

just wondering?? how many subs have met a Domm or Domme on-line and have progressed with them, to the point of knowing your likes and There likes and dislikes. But that each quick response from You, gets one in 15 or so minutes
does it frustrate you waiting so long~

If your both really interested, what have You done to really break the ice to see if there really is a future
for the both of You

Knees,
I met my current Dom online. Not on any type of personal or BDSM site though. I gave up seeking my "perfect" Dom. So I was hanging out in a California chat room. Just looking for new people to interact with near me. There he was. We started chatting. Found out he was in the lifestyle. So was I. The rest is history.
Its going on 5 1/2 years of bliss. So it is possible.
Oh, I met him near him. At a grocery store where I was very well protected. He did'nt know how to find me..etc..etc. Until after a few meetings. Probably 3000 hours of phone talk. We found out we were compatible in a vanilla relationship long before playing for the first time.

sincerely, knees2You

quote:

if a snake bites before it is charmed there is no profit
for the charmer~

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 2

RE: waiting on-line - 4/11/2004 8:20:35 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

If a response takes that long i don't think he is giving you his full attention. He may be chatting with others, playing games online, talking to family members, or having to hide the chat due to others being too close. Why don't you ask him? When i had an online dom he demanded i give him my full attention and close other chats and games i was playing.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 3

RE: waiting on-line - 4/11/2004 9:03:52 PM

belongtoyou

Posts: 168
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

knees2you;

This has happened to me before, and i will ask "is this not a good time for you?" or "why don't we chat/talk later?"

Communication is a wonderful thing....

Tell them what's bothering you and work it out!

Cheers,

~rain~

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 4

RE: waiting on-line - 4/11/2004 9:09:14 PM

MistressKiss

Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I agree....ask! It amazes me how many submissives are not allowed or not comfortable in asking their Dominant a simple question such as this. I would want to know if there is a real interest or are they hiding the conversation from a wife and kids...

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

(in reply to belongtoyou)

Post #: 5

RE: waiting on-line - 4/12/2004 3:01:46 PM

knees2you

Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline

proudsub, She has a little daughter about 9.
i have asked Her if there is a time that She and I can devote
time on-line, but my time has to be Hers. I've asked about
whether or not this is going anywhere, and She says be paitient.
we are very compatible vanilla and Bdsm. She is trainning me, and I do my best to please Her.
I suppose asking a little more questions, would not hurt,
well not physicaly anyways~

well thank You all for Your support and I'll let You know what happens

sincerely knees2You

quote:

if a snake bites before it is charmed there is no profit
for the charmer~

(in reply to MistressKiss)

Post #: 6

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 3:07:59 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I have had this occur and I drop it and move on quickly. If a guy can't realize that I am prone to boredom if I don't recieve stimulation, then his lack of common courtesy to say BRB causes my BRB that lasts oh 2 yrs. lol

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 7

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 4:26:21 AM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
Status: offline

IMOO, put your concerns forth. Chat courtesy is the same as any other kind of courtesy. If you were on the phone with her, would she put the phone down in the middle of the conversation and not come back for 15 minutes or so? By telling her how you feel, you can come up with a specific time for chat, make an appointment if need be, but then you'll have each other's undivided attention for that period.

_____________________________

There is no such thing as can't unless it is followed by yet

It is the meaningless little acts that become meaningful in the doing.

The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 8

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 4:29:58 AM

unbroken33

Posts: 56
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

Wow, that is an old post. From the profiles the post starter found someone.

Anyway, yes it's very annoying. Honestly though anymore i just assume they disconnected after 5 minutes unless i they said brb, especially with how common broadband is now days...

But it's right up there with emailing only one or two lines in all caps while having back and forth email exchanges.

_____________________________

Please, no more serial killers.

(in reply to came4U)

Post #: 9

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 4:46:42 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

oh oh, I already in trouble and now MOD gonna spank me, HARD.

gulps.

Frigggggggin dates.

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 10

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 4:53:45 AM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

This is just another reason why I don't care to chat online. If someone was really into you, common courtesy, at least in my book of common courtesy would dictate that you let the other person know if you need to leave for a minute, even with a simple brb.

Now, it could be a slow connection, or the message program dropping, or the little one needed changing. If those things are prone to happening, it would be nice to let someone know. Send a note later if the message program drops, or write them an email. Slow connections are becoming less common these days. Of course, it someone is at work, and has to drop things because the boss walked in, should they really be chatting anyway? Is that their way of showing you how responsible they are? And for changing a little one, I have raised 3 & am working on a grand one. Generally, no matter what is going on with them, there is time for a brb.

Now, there have been times when I felt their attention was being divided in another chat. My time is valuable, so anymore, I just tell them I need to get things done, & have to go, if they aren't important enough for me to confront, or if I feel they will lie anyway.

Chatting online to me, also feels like a leash, like I am tied to my computer. I very rarely do it anymore. Home just has too much going on right now to just sit there. If you are chatting with someone like that, again, common courtesy to tell you why they can't give you attention.

(in reply to unbroken33)

Post #: 11

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 5:58:29 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I chatted for 10 months with my Daddy, before moving in together. There is no way either of us would have put up with that sort of rudeness. I ran a childcare business while I chatted with him and many times I had to type a simple, BRB or KID to let him know my attention wasn't on the computer. If I was going to be longer I would tell him. The same would go for him. Courtesy and respect are vital in my opinion to any relationship.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MissIsis)

Post #: 12

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 6:06:26 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

This is why I hate trying to get to know someone online. IM and emails are a great invention, but nothing beats the phone and in person.

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 13

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 6:12:51 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

people actually meet in person?

WOW, what a concept...LOL

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 14

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 6:20:19 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Funny, this is one of my pet peeves, too. I had the same situation happen with someone in here a few months back, now that you mention it. We met up in Yahoo chat, and he was good for one question. I answered it and asked one of my own, and 10 minutes later, I'm still waiting for a response. Found him back in here, typing away. I logged off and chalked him up to apparently being unable to hold a real life conversation. No biggie, life goes on.

If anyone I'm chatting with appears to be otherwise distracted, I politely excuse myself and take a rain check for when they're free to chat with only me, or when they're not working on something else.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 15

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 6:24:19 AM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

there's alot of that going on around here too. some people tend to wander from what chat to...oh, look, Sears is having a sale...oops, ummmm...what were we talking about?

(i know, it's a silly representation, but nearly acurate...LOL)

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 16

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 6:28:25 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

It is just amazing how people think online is a good excuse for rudeness. I actually look to the positive side of it; it shows their lack of manners and attention early on, so I can dismiss them and move on. If someone gets thrown off line for example, just send a follow up email to explain. I have done that, it takes a moment to do so and any other behavior just smacks of rudeness.

I also do not understand when someone IMs me, asks a question, I answer it and then they just sit there. I reply back quickly. But then again, maybe I am a quicker thinker than most.

All in all, I yearn for the old days of actual interpersonal behavior, not blips on a screen.

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Post #: 17

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 7:05:49 AM

Cyntilating

Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

Knees

I can understand what you are referring to....and I think it happens alot on this medium.....
When it would bother me I would struggle with going with my self-esteemed gut and wanting to "confront and express my frustration at their rudeness" vs "not wanting to jump to conclusions and ruining something that might just be my mis-perception...
What I finally decided > and the way I handle online communication is
if its casual > I realize and accept that "life happens" and to get over myself.. and that words and meanings are notoriously taken out of context on this medium. avoid assuming..ask..be certain..and mostly keep my grip on reality firmly intact..

If its more serious and something that "we" are using to deepen a potential relationship and the other person feels the same ( that part is important to decipher first and foremost that it is a mutual agreement to communicate with that common goal in mind ) >> Then apply the first part I wrote about(see above) thinking&and ask myself the question " if this person and I were sitting across from one another in a restaurant ( or wherever) and their attention and conversation was wavering so precariously, what would that be telling me about them and our possibilities? " ...I answer that question for myself and then proceed accordingly..

Do you want someone unattentive and unable to decide whether YOU are more important than "walking his dog on the spur of the moment or going to the bathroom without mentioning that the conversation needs to hold for a moment or starring at someone elses butt across the room whilst " youre spilling your most treasured thoughts and feeling to him."

generally, its a warning sign and sends up big red flags for me when it happens consistantly with huge pauses or gaps and then when asked about it they tell you "ohhh I had to let the dog out" or "someone rang my doorbell" ........I had someone give the excuse " ohhhh, I had to clean the cat box out suddenly"... uhhmmm...ok then.
yanno> if they cannot be honest about chatting with others and would rather lie to me instead ( poorly I might add) then what will they lie about in the future??

"if it walks like a duck.........." yanno?

...as with most things, follow your gut..

smiles.

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 18

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 7:20:36 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

in my case, i was looking when i wasn't really looking. Daddy and i met online on another site and instantly hit it off that we were chatting like old friends. currently we're celebrating our 1st anniversary of togetherness.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to knees2you)

Post #: 19

RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 8:08:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

He's showing you how you can expect communication to be in a relationship with him. Now it's your decision as to whether this will work for you or not.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 20

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