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RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 8:36:39 AM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		Well Daddy is a geek.  He's often multi-tasking with work, fixing computers, helping his teenager with homework, flirting with another gal, and the rest.  Now we spend quite a bit of time face to face so this isn't the majority of our relationship.  If it were, we would not be together cause it can be too irritating for me.  As it is, he is really the only one with whom I IM.  I find that people have a different set of socially acceptable behaviors with IM. They'll feel free to answer the phone, leave the room and all kinds of other things they might not do if you were talking on the phone or sitting face to face.

So how do I deal with it?  Waiting makes me irritable so I don't wait for him.  I don't perceive it as waiting and if I find myself feeling that way I will move on to something else.  He knows I feel this way about his multi-tasking and is really OK with me moving on until a time when he can devote more attention to me.  And I don't take it personally.  But being expected to sit around and wait, in some kinda holding pattern, while he does something else? regularly?  That would have a chilling effect on our relationship.  And neither of us wants that.

Compatibility.


_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 9:32:03 AM   
twistedkytten


Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline 		Usuallly, i ask Master if He is busy at the start of any online conversation. depending on the answer i get, i will either choose to wait for His responses or ask to be excused until such a time He is not busy. He is very good at letting me know. Sometimes though there are long waits.. and at those times.. i am to wait for 5 minutes before logging off.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 10:01:53 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		did people have to continue this? I'm already in troubleeeee  (it he/she viewed me again lol) with you know whoooo. lol SHHHHH daaangit :((

so much for layin low.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 10:18:38 AM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		WOW, a post resurrected but worth some discussion at present, for me at least.  As with many situations, being Ds does not rule out common courtesy. If it's a well established relationship I do what he wants...if he tells me to wait I wait. But we would have already discussed our concerns and expectations relating to our internet chat and such.
 
If the chat is with someone new, still in the getting to know you stages, I do not wait around too long. If we are truly interested in getting to know each other we will not make each other wait. If the chat seems to be going extremely slow I will ask if perhaps another time would be better. If the chat is quick and free flowing and not at all like pulling teeth then I think it shows a genuine interest (but you never really know, do you?).
 
I do not usually IM a Domly type first, unless it's to confirm a meeting or such.  If we are both online and he wants to chat he will message me. As I am currently single I have been chatting with quite a few men ove the past few months. If the conversation seriously lags, he continually gets disconnected or disappears, keeps giving one word answers but asks a zillion questions of me, or the old standard "what do you like to do in the bedroom" questions within the first three minutes...I have no interest. My favorite of course is that first totally intense chat when you seem to have so much in common and he is sooo anxious to get to know you better then he disappears for a few weeks, resurfaces with one of those "hello, remember me?" IM's. Next!
 
I'm old, I don't have a lot of time to waste on wankers.

_____________________________

My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

(in reply to twistedkytten)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 10:21:08 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: umisprite

My favorite of course is that first totally intense chat when you seem to have so much in common and he is sooo anxious to get to know you better then he disappears for a few weeks, resurfaces with one of those "hello, remember me?" IM's. Next!
 
I'm old, I don't have a lot of time to waste on wankers.


I SO agree with you, it is beyond annoying when people just pop up and expect you to remember their sorry asses.

(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 10:32:09 AM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		Just another comment (then I have to get my butt to work). If I'm chatting with someone new and local, within a reasonable amount of time if he makes no indication of meeting somewhere for coffee or lunch or something...anything really...to move it into real time I won't be waiting around for that guy either.
 
I like to follow a logical progression: a few chats then a few phone calls then, when we are both comfortable, a face to face meet in a very public place. There's only one way to find out if the chemistry is there.

_____________________________

My mistakes are neither pretty nor little.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 10:33:51 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		it always seems that that last part is often missing when getting to know someone online.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 10:41:37 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Angel is bad about just disappearing from a conversation. Its been this long, and he stil does it. I dont get angry, though, since he does live on campus. When he disappears, it is usually not something he can help. He will expain when he comes back later.  While the majority of his friends know of me, they dont understand why he would have to go back to his computer and let me know he was disappearing, jst bcasue we were chatting online. He doesnt have to do it for anyone else, and they dont do it... so I deal. Campus life doesnt always allow for undivided attention.
My other boys are often just as bad, but they have less leeway for forgetting, since I know its ust them multitasking in too many places.  I will tell them to find me when they are less involved elsewhere, and if it gets to that point they know they are in trouble. I have a few simple rules about contact online... if we are in a conversation, you tell me that you are distracted. If you start a conversation, you had better be able to talk, not tell me you have to rush off a few minutes later.  And most important if I ask a question in IMs or email, you had better answer it. If I know up front someone is in the middle of something, I am more likely to be OK waiting for a resoonse than if they tell me I am their only conversation at the moment and then they go silent.

DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: waiting on-line - 8/11/2007 10:43:11 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		~deleted~ cuz i think i responded to the wrong thread!  (i am such  blonde sometimes).

< Message edited by angelic -- 8/11/2007 10:44:23 AM >

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: waiting on-line - 8/12/2007 7:18:56 AM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I have a deep dislike of IM's...I prefer e-mail and phone...ach! maybe its just because I am an old fuddy duddy..but to me IM's are tiresome,due to many reasons..sometimes they can lead to easily misunderstood communication due to the quickness of its nature,you do not get into much depth because of all the typing it can entail, your butt gets sore sitting for any length of time,you need to be an excellent typist or you are screwed..lol..lack of any kind of inflection,ad infinitum...blechhh...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: waiting on-line - 8/12/2007 11:21:03 AM   
slave4UMsMstress


Posts: 35
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		Totally frustrating - to have to wait - but time and wisdom and patience are all on the side of people who are committed... it takes that to get to know someone real time as well - but it is a real bummer to have to wait so long.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: waiting on-line - 8/13/2007 2:50:37 PM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		over the many months in the beginning of my old profile before being accepted into the House two months ago, talked to a couple of Ones that W/we seemed to have some common interest, some just stating that they were my Mentor (for what ever that meant)...but the shocker was when it was decided this One to be Owner of this soul, these mentors told me that each one had an interest in ownership. Too much time had between without this knowledge and it was just assumed They were just friends....
in meeting Sir on line here and deciding to be with Him, it was a matter of three weeks before girl here was flown from GA to Washington to join Him. He decided what times after work was O/our time to chat either by phone or computer.

(in reply to slave4UMsMstress)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: waiting on-line - 8/13/2007 3:19:22 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

This is why I hate trying to get to know someone online. IM and emails are a great invention, but nothing beats the phone and in person.


Ditto.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 33
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