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Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/20/2006 7:35:58 PM   
Morion


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		I have for some time now found that the D/s lifestyle sounds interesting to me, but I am not sure if I have some sort of an inclination (for want of a better word) towards it, or if I am just a vanilla individual with simple D/s fantasies (if there is such a thing). How does one know whether they should pursue such an interest, or is it a simple matter of experimenting?

I have been reading around online quite a bit, but am still not quite sure how a new Dom should start either. Any Dom or sub should, presumably, have some traits that make them right for this, but while I would imagine a new sub should learn any skills from a Dom, how does a new Dom learn the skills they would need? Also, what would people here consider necessary reading/knowledge/skills to be a good (new) Dom?
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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/20/2006 7:56:19 PM   
Merritt27


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome!
It was not so long ago that I was trying to find my way around as well...it can be kind of daunting at times...but oh so much fun the rest of the time.  I read whatever I could get my hands on....or find online.  There are links to previous conversations about what to read and by whom...I have no doubt someone will provide the links to those later....  I found Amazon.com to be a good way to buy quite a few books like Screw the Roses,  Different Loving  and others....(they have some used ones on there as well....if you get as into the reading as I did, it can get costly).  Use their search option...it will lead you to quite a bit. 

Other than reading....getting out there and meeting others with similar interests helped me.  Finding a local munch is a good way....usually the people are very helpful and willing to help point someone new in the right direction. 

Good Luck!


< Message edited by Merritt27 -- 7/20/2006 8:21:06 PM >

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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/20/2006 9:39:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You learn the same way you learn other skills- hanging out with people who do it already is the best way generally.

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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/21/2006 3:04:19 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Read books - always good to start with(there are lists on amazon).  Avoid some of the crappier BDSM 'websites' and instead - maybe grab some terms - like the Deviants Dictionary - and google or look on Wikipedia.
 
Then find where your local munch or group is.  Hang out with people who practise - and skim these boards and ones like it for good threads.
 
Peace and Rapture


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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/21/2006 3:33:14 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Local munches, a great way to begin

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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/21/2006 3:35:05 AM   
peta


Posts: 29
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Attending munches, talking to people there to gain an understanding of what you are entering into, even message boards like this one. 

peta

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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/21/2006 5:25:35 AM   
kuntrygrl


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		LuckyAlbatross - I just felt compelled to say, I love your posts.  They are helpful and pleasant.   I've been hididng behind the drapes watching everybody for a while.  :)

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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/21/2006 2:31:26 PM   
Morion


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for the replies.  Several of those links were quite useful, and included exactly the things I needed to read at this point.  I believe I shall take the time to read threads here for a while, perhaps asking questions once in a while, and try to get a better understanding of things.  A munch sounds like a good idea too: are there any lists online for munches around the world? I doubt it is something I will find in the local phone book ;)

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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/21/2006 3:23:33 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		google works great for finding groups in your area.

If you are near Sydney i know of one dungeon for sure, and i'm sure there is atleast one or more groups that meet.

Good luck

< Message edited by akisha -- 7/21/2006 3:25:09 PM >

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RE: Interested, but unsure on where to begin... - 7/21/2006 5:02:37 PM   
eruditegirl1


Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline 		OK...I am going to beat Crappy to this one...."The Topping Book" ..." Consensual Sado Mascochism" and even "The Bottoming Book".....I have read the the Bottoming and just started "Consensual"....and as they were recomended by a special friend....he was right...they have been very helpful in understanding....

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