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RE: funny quotes - 7/21/2006 4:19:24 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
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"keep staring, who knows , I may do a trick"
"I love humanity, It's people I cannot stand"
"don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after"
"and your cry baby, whiny assed opinion would be....?"
"I just want revenge..is that so wrong?"

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Post #: 21

RE: funny quotes - 7/21/2006 7:50:11 AM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
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Giggles

Revenge is sweet and non fattening

when a man says the last thing he wants to do is hurt you it only means there are other things he'd like to do first

He thought he was G-ds gift to women, and he was right if G-d shoped at wal mart

I miss my man but my aims getting better if Id a shot him when I first met it Id be out of jail by now

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Post #: 22

RE: funny quotes - 7/21/2006 8:50:49 AM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
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When life hands you lemons hand em back and say make your own damn lemonade!

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Post #: 23

RE: funny quotes - 7/21/2006 11:07:51 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Being in Love is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

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A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 1:31:10 AM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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When life hands you lemons, break out the tequila and salt.

I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

mbmbn

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Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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Post #: 25

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 2:52:58 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
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'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.

Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.

I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly.

Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.

Boot-faced cats aren't born but made, often because they've tried to outstare or occasionally rape a speeding car and have been repaired by a vet who just pulled all the bits together and stuck the stitches in where there was room.

It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family effort goes into selecting one at the start ("She looks like a Winnifred to me"), and the as the years roll by it suddenly finds itself being called Meepo or Ratbag.

Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.

Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.

~all are Terry Pratchett

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Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

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Post #: 26

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 6:28:03 AM

newly42

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"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers

" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde

< Message edited by newly42 -- 7/22/2006 6:33:13 AM >

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RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 9:33:49 AM

WayWardSoul

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If a frog had wings it wouldn't bunp its ass when it hopped.

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You look like two miles of bad road ~Foghorn Leghorn~

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Post #: 28

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 9:44:33 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
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The more you stir in shit, the more it stinks.

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Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

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Post #: 29

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 10:02:33 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Life is like a pork chop. It will either make you sick or you will enjoy it, the choice is yours!

You may have been born to rule, but you better earn the right to command!

I'm male, blond (or was), virgo and part Irish ~ My excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I dont make threats. I just make promises!

I agree I'm a fuckwit. In fact I bet I'm the biggest fuckwit you have ever known. What is your sence of achievement?

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!

I was going to tell you what i thought of you, but why waste a perfectly good insult?

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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Post #: 30

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 12:55:29 PM

MistressTexas

Posts: 425
Joined: 5/30/2006
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YOU!!!! OFF MY PLANET!!!

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Post #: 31

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 1:15:16 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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God you are so hot when you make love to me like that.......

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Post #: 32

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 1:23:44 PM

impishlilhellcat

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Joined: 3/26/2006
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If barbies so hot then why do you have to buy her friends?

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Post #: 33

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 2:03:44 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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This was on a T-shirt I owned:

Your story has truly touched my heart. Never before have I met anyone with as many problems as you. You have my deepest sympathy. Now fuck off and quit bothering me.

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I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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Post #: 34

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 2:49:14 PM

DarkSideOfThMoon

Posts: 117
Joined: 10/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMalinche
Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.

Lmao, oh so true. From english text book foot notes: "Nothing" - a. Unimportant b. A vagina

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Post #: 35

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 4:42:38 PM

enigmabrat

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Joined: 8/1/2004
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your gene pooll needs some clorine

you out of the gene pool

cansel my subscription I dont need your issues

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Post #: 36

RE: funny quotes - 7/22/2006 5:40:49 PM

RedRedWine

Posts: 157
Joined: 2/19/2006
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"Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"

-Homer Simspon.

"Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed, Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead!"

-Homer Simpson.

Hah this is on the shirt I bought my best friend for her birthday:

"You had me at Hell-no."

"There is no such thing as a stupid question...just stupid people asking question."

-Rat from Pearls Before Swine Comic.

"I'm not anti-social, I just don't like being around people."

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Post #: 37

RE: funny quotes - 7/23/2006 5:25:42 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
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giggles

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Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

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Post #: 38