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Change - 5/25/2016 11:00:08 PM   
Housemaster96


Posts: 8
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline 		I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand.

Again I should say sub/slave or master/Dom/Domme are shown here as sub and Dom, likewise I refer to she/her as I am male however this label can be used to mean a male.

I think, Change is not about altering someone it is about development. When vanillas meet someone they like and eventually form a relationship they then generally go about trying to alter them!

I think, In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop. A sub, be it newbie or experienced, has an internal need that needs to be developed so is not confined to a set social idea. Thus the sub wanting to be an animal, has particular rubber/leather/clothing likes does not really want to change only express that inner desire. In fact she does not want to change at all, only live in a lifestyle of that design. So change to her means removal from the norm and into her world. It is the Dom who allows this development and opening up of her inner needs. This is the same for a sub who wants to submit to someone and feel contentment. She does not want to alter herself only change the environment or lifestyle of social normality. So even someone who just seeks a Dom just to feel her submission does not want to alter herself only be free to explore her nature. So change is not altering just allowing that to happen.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Change - 5/25/2016 11:15:11 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Huh?

Change means change. Change does not mean being able to explore one's nature. Is English a second language for you?

< Message edited by peppermint -- 5/25/2016 11:20:24 PM >

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to Housemaster96)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 1:41:40 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		He is trying to supplant his own interpretation onto the world.

This is the second thread he's started that shows he is utterly clueless about BDSM and everything to do with it.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 2:22:36 AM   
QualityFirst


Posts: 240
Joined: 5/2/2016
Status: offline 		I feel the message of the OP is well thaught. Change can very well be what he expresses.

However, I think that change doesn't exclude other forms of changes. A dominant can very well want the sub to change in a ways the dominant likes, whether it is suited to the sub's needs or not.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 2:30:46 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		Asked a few times! By whom I doth wonder.

I obviously lack your awesome popularity and towering insight. In reality I am rarely asked anything at all, save by the voices that inhabit my head, and the rare “submissive” who is too far gone with the mange and notions of lunacy, for me to make a modicum of difference in her predestined life of utter woe – the (bad)loons, attached, predators & monsters just snaffle that lot up.

Now, whom amongst you will develop me a tasty plate of muffins.

BDSM world spakes for itself. I merely look around at all this site has to offer, other sites, clubs, muffin munches to realise that I am a miniscule minority - wonders if he will get his own loo. - I do not like how the majority of it speaks. I can neither develop that, nor change that.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 3:55:51 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		Opie I'm shaking my finger at you

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 4:04:16 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline 		FR...

I'm having a difficult time following this thread ... so maybe I'm outta' my league here ... but to me, whenever I meet someone, change is inevitable.

What I mean by that is that I always strive to eat what they eat, drink what they drink, learn what they like, etc., so that I know what they like and have experienced it first hand so that I know how to improve how they like it, etc.,

So, to me, change is L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G who/what/when/where/why & how someone ELSE enjoys something...

[Caveat: But it takes a special person who can do that because most can't or won't.]

_____________________________

I am a born follower - I faithfully take your lead - whether you are truly worthy - or - whether you are far less so - I key off your words - instinctively reflecting your tone in my every response. It's how I'm wired.

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 4:51:20 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		he just had difficulty in trying to word what he was trying to say/convey.

He also tried to separate Life(style) into never the twain: BDSM and vanilla. There is just the spectrum of life. I am no fan of either of those two terms/labels and he tried to pigeon hole two classical bad examples/stereotypes into both.

And then he was trying to be super domly saying all, those parts, bits and bobs, must be nurtured and developed, never changed/altered. In that we would all nod and say how wise; sage,magus,oracle etc

One cannot develop chasms,broken creatures of utter wretch (many will try exactly that and to blow on those specific embers so as to snaffle these brokey dolls as easy pickings nor should one try to blow on those embers. If he inferred other embers then I would have agreed.
If he said oi brokey dolls you are all shattered to smithereens I can neither fix, or mend that, nor wish to change (you cannot change these parts) those parts. I look at this as one, or a few pieces, of a vast jigsaw, and I will concentrate on the vast.

God sir say many of the creatures of utter wretch for every one person telling me that there are 100-1000 telling me the opposite abd therefore I reject you from reality and will label you a sock trouble maker




(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 8:33:06 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand.

No, you haven't.

Your name has never come up from anyone that I am aware of in the UK scene.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 5/26/2016 8:48:04 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 8:58:26 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I think, In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop


Maybe discover would be a better word

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to Housemaster96)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 1:31:36 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop.

Incorrect

quote:

It is the Dom who allows this development and opening up of her inner needs.

Bullshit.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Housemaster96)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 2:21:46 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Fantasy from a guy who can't get a woman, all about what he thinks a relationship would be.
Not coincidentally, this is why he can't get the time of day from anyone.

Come back in 20 years when you've been in a relationship all that time, and then we'll consider what you say to be worthwhile.

Until you can walk the walk,not just talk the talk, don't bother.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 2:41:29 PM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline 		Only Bowie can define change.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 3:57:56 PM   
Danemora


Posts: 752
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Housemaster96

I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand.


No. No one asked you. And in all honesty if someone was looking for understanding of BDSM concepts, you clearly arent the guy for the job based on your unsolicited lecture series to date. One who does not understand cannot impart understanding to others. Going to you would be like asking Dick Cheney to give shooting lessons.




< Message edited by Danemora -- 5/26/2016 4:08:07 PM >

_____________________________

~The artist formerly known as SeekingTrinity on tour as a solo act~

(in reply to Housemaster96)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 4:12:26 PM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Housemaster96

I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand.

Again I should say sub/slave or master/Dom/Domme are shown here as sub and Dom, likewise I refer to she/her as I am male however this label can be used to mean a male.

I think, Change is not about altering someone it is about development. When vanillas meet someone they like and eventually form a relationship they then generally go about trying to alter them!

I think, In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop. A sub, be it newbie or experienced, has an internal need that needs to be developed so is not confined to a set social idea. Thus the sub wanting to be an animal, has particular rubber/leather/clothing likes does not really want to change only express that inner desire. In fact she does not want to change at all, only live in a lifestyle of that design. So change to her means removal from the norm and into her world. It is the Dom who allows this development and opening up of her inner needs. This is the same for a sub who wants to submit to someone and feel contentment. She does not want to alter herself only change the environment or lifestyle of social normality. So even someone who just seeks a Dom just to feel her submission does not want to alter herself only be free to explore her nature. So change is not altering just allowing that to happen.


Change is not the word you are looking for. A better word would be discover or explore for what you are describing. When one enters BDSM they have a desire or urge for something. Does not matter what that something is, but one must explore/discover what it is they are seeking. This is not change. They are not changing. They are not changing who they are, rather they are discovering what it is they desire.

_____________________________

Master of the Mystic Arts
Proprieter Verließ Von Strange
Rubber Fetishist
SciFi Fanatic

(in reply to Housemaster96)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 6:59:50 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

Going to you would be like asking Dick Cheney to give shooting lessons.

I don't know, the guy seems to be pretty good at shooting people's faces.....

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Danemora)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 9:14:49 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Oh, yeah. A lecture on relationships from someone not in a relationship.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Change - 5/26/2016 9:17:22 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline 		You know what they say: Those that can do, those that can't teach.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
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