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LadyPact -> RE: Women Have It Better At BDSM Clubs (7/12/2016 12:21:43 PM)
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ORIGINAL: ForgetToRemember
To sum up this post:
1.) Call OP a Liar.
Reading comprehension problems much? A number of people on the thread mentioned that different rules apply to different places, events, etc. Personally, I didn't believe the original because of the logistics, but that's me.
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2.) Discuss random clubs that are probably not the one he went to - to prove that he was a liar.
See above. There are absolutely places that allow sex and some that don't. There are some clubs that only allow sex on certain nights (not general admission) and some that only allow in certain areas.
Discussing randoms clubs is more about people having the opportunity to see that different locations have different rules depending on where you are going. Even if people believed the OP's original, that's not what they should expect to see walking into any random BDSM club. In the USA, even where sex is permitted, there just isn't a lot of clubs permitting (sexual) fluid) transfer because it has the potential to be a huge liability issue.
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3.) Cite laws that might not apply - since people break the law, it could've been a private event, he could've moved or been in a different state than his current one.
If you are keeping up with this stuff, this is exactly the reason why a lot of major events are pulling 'pay at the door' policies. There are enough places where the jurisdiction can be interpreted as paying at the door at the time of the event translates to attendees paying for the privilege of having sex upon entering. This absolutely can work if you're already dealing local authorities that are just itching to find a reason to shut your event down, anyway.
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4.) Fights, name calling for disagreements.
The disagreement part is going to happen because we are dealing with a forum from which people are in various locations, with first hand experiences that are different from others. It happens to be my opinion that if a person is going to a club (not a private party, which is a different thing entirely) dang near every organization has something on the web that will tell a person what is permissible and what is not during a person's attendance.
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What a shameful community collarspace has become. Actually, wait, no, it has always been pretty bad. Anyways, I'm shocked at how many people call this guy a liar when they have absolutely no idea what he is like. Sure, his story could be made up, but are you willing to bet your own reputation by calling someone else a liar on such fragile 'evidence' as your own experience with a few clubs, or a (potentially) mis-written sentence? He could have been to a private event, or seen it not in the same state that he lives in now (for those law hawks out there). I guess my point is, those who are so quick to admonish others, without good cause, only admonish themselves in the eyes of others.
I can roll with that. However, you must see the other side as well. Due to the fact that a high majority of CLUBS (very important word there) even those that deem themselves sex positive do not allow fluid transfer due to the huge liability issue, it's also just as bad to perpetuate the idea that the original story in the OP is going to be happening everywhere. There are certain three day cons that I'd have bought the majority of the story (not the pants part but that's another matter) because the multiple partner happenings are full go. Permanent open to the public types spaces? Not so much.
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As for the OP...what a couple decides to do is up to them. The woman doesn't owe it to anyone to let them touch her. The guy (if he was the one deciding), also doesn't owe it to anyone to let them touch her.
I'm glad we at least agree on this. Unfortunately, some folks going to clubs haven't gotten this through their heads yet.
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You should know that most male-female couples are looking for another female - so it shouldn't be a surprise to you that, when you see a M/F couple (anywhere), that they are going to allow females to play 99/100 times and men 1/100 times (yes I'm making up numbers - but you get the idea). So, if your standard for treatment of men vs women in BDSM clubs is based on what a (single) M/F couple did, you are thinking about it in the wrong way. I'm not saying there are no differences, but your proof of unequal or inequitable treatment is not valid due to the fact that it was a M/F couple, and like almost all M/F couples, are looking to play with another female (if you were hoping that changed in the kink world - I'm sorry to say it doesn't). Being kinky doesn't change your sexual preferences.
Here, we agree again. I would challenge anyone to find more M/f couples looking for males, rather than females, for darn near anything. This does have to do with personal preference, rather than gender bias. If a person (or couple) is looking to have an encounter with a female, it is not bias or discriminatory for them not to extend the invitation to a male.
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