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LadyPact -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/25/2016 1:44:14 PM)
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ORIGINAL: LilJuly76
all good advice LadyPact
I was never really impressed with fet to begin with.
After that popping sound that was the result of me pulling my head out of my own ass because I was shortsighted, I absolutely was and am still amazed with Fet's ability to put events at people's fingertips. Find events, no muss, no fuss, no effort.
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Fet itself is too black, it's hard for me to see because of the dark background.
I forget who put the link up on these boards but there actually is a program that allows you to change that. I tried it, didn't like it, and decided to deal with the black.
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the first time I joined, I joined some submissive groups in wherein I found 2 types of newbies posting all the time:
1. ones that wanted to fuck men who ended up with old school Dominants and than complained that this wasn't BDSM.
2. ones that hooked up with users and abusers and they refuse to call the cops because it would make them look like an idiot. Didn't matter if some moron told her she had to give everything to him.
The first honest question is, doesn't some of that sound exactly like what happens here? How many "new" members are just HNGs?
I'm going to say something about that second thing.
I consider not going to the cops during the first six months of the stalking issue the second biggest mistake of my entire life. It is topped only by ever meeting that person in the first place. I can't tell you the number of people that practically begged me to go to the authorities. Even my husband's boss offered to facilitate the charges. (Military types can actually do that.) I don't have the words to articulate the shame, guilt, and regret that I have about it. I live with it every day.
People do forget one thing about my case. At the time, I was sitting on a military post, under a roof that military housing provided, and the words "consensual kink" are not in Uncle Sam's dictionary. Oh, one other neat, little factoid. May 2013, when the crap started? The little post I lived on made national news for a "sex scandal". It was really just swingers but people really did lose their homes, their benefits, some lost their careers, and in a couple of cases, they lost their freedom. Uncle Sam has a really bad attitude about partying on his lawn.
I told you that to tell you this. When you have a stalker, your consent got violated, you've been outed or whatever, this weird thing happens. You start receiving a sh^t ton of email. People who got through the experience, people going through the experience, a friend of a friend that it's happening to, and just this avalanche. (I want to say, there are certain people out there who helped me tremendously. They were God sends.) You learn in a very short time just how many cases are out there. It ain't pretty and it ain't just a few.
This is my own personal opinion. I don't have 'insider info' on this subject in any way. Nobody on the staff of Fet has told me anything to support my personal belief.
Knowing that perpetrators use Fet as a vehicle to target people, often using sock puppets to hunt them down, follow their activity, where they go, etc, something had to happen. The block feature wasn't helping cause, hey, just create a new screen name. Revenge porn? All it takes is a few clicks to upload pictures. Dozens of issues. Won't stop all of it but it might slow it down some.
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When I found my owner, we both got rid of our profiles there and just recently got new ones. Still the same ole place and still black background. I came across this place by accident and joined because the background is white and not black, much easier to see.
I'm glad you found something that works for you. [:)]
About Fet though, if I were @JohnBaku, I would be trying to find a way to make that Events tab view only. I know it would probably make the RSVP even harder on event organizers. (Got the t-shirt. RSVPs are a PITA.) Set up some idea about probationary accounts where current (old, bad term there) could tick a box on whether they wanted to receive mail from 'new' members (accounts under 90 days old) or not. Could be hugely beneficial to munch organizers. Some kind of plan that's actually more to the plan.
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