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kimsubfemale -> - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 3:55:03 AM)

 
Hello

I’ve debated this over and over in my mind, since last night, whether or not to post about my ex- Master.  So suddenly here I am and nun-surprised that I have butterflies in my stomach.

Knowingly Master, has know idea that I connect to this site – reason being, I needed to have a place for answers to questions that baffle me.  If Master had asked about it, then yes I would have complied with no doubt.

However,

Circumstances have changed –


I know that initially when Master and I met, the red flags were all over he’s story.  In not knowing enough answers to questions about BDSM and so on.

Guess I was really enthusiastic about the new possibilities ahead and somehow put everything in perspective, by turning a blind eye to the truth.  Reflecting on the relationship at hand to work.

Obviously,

I need a Seeing Eye dog to help guide my through my next potential relationship, I’m not overly surprised after screwing a couple hundred times before.  Despite the fact that I’ve not made the right choices in finding the right “Master” I can still find it to be both refreshing and positive, that I have learnt from this mistake.


In other words, I have to try being more “Assertive” in the beginning of a relationship to my needs taking of the blindfold in my pursuit

Ex - Master,

Lied to me about being married. What do I look like a girl Friday?


However, I am not naïve, but I do think very gullible at times. The thing to do now keep focusing to a better beginning and reinforce my female psyche taking this as a learning experience!


P.s.

Hypothetically speaking - Do you think I should try re-negotiating my terms? And if so what guarantees will I have from him that it wont happen again? I believe we all have limits even as a submissive or “bottom” 


Thanks,

[sm=whip.gif]   anyhow I am going out to party[sm=whip.gif]

Highfives

- kim



Estring -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 3:59:03 AM)

I am not really sure if you have learned anything.



cuddleheart50 -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 4:04:39 AM)

There are no guarantees with anything...learn from your mistakes.......



heartfeltsub -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 4:05:36 AM)

huh??? i know it is a bit early for a Saturday, but i didn't follow that at all.



MistressMaamNH -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 4:26:39 AM)

quote:

P.s.

Hypothetically speaking - Do you think I should try re-negotiating my terms? And if so what guarantees will I have from him that it wont happen again? I believe we all have limits even as a submissive or “bottom”


he's dishonest, and married...what's to negotiate?

Time to cut your losses, and move on. Learn from your mistakes....being submissive doesn't mean you let common sense and clear thinking fly to the wind.  One shouldn't be so desperate for love/attention/control/play (or any number of other things) that you turn a blind eye to what's staring you in the face.  Always listen to your gut..your intuition is a very powerful and reliable tool.  There are PLENTY of fish in the proverbial sea...no one should settle for "less than"

MMNH



kimsubfemale -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 4:44:03 AM)

Huh?

Thanks for nothing - just invade my space sometime – Don’t you think you’d be cranky in the morning when someone lies to you - in fact pisses all over at the beginning of a relationship.

And it seems those who come here looking for support can (Go WAAA! WAAA! WAAA! And be called a Crybabie. Because no one gives a  sh*t about others distressing circumstance. I’ve made my prob self-explanatory.

And if you cant understand it that’s your problem not mine.  And further more if I wanted a Mater to answer – gosh don’t you think I would have posted it in your section??????????

Don't be too harsh!? Don't be too harsh! On them (kim)  like wow you lot can and do discourage others. Wake up.

So I may seem confused maybe I’m not as mart as some.

The only one that made any sense is MistressMaamNH and Marsha – thank you!  
Have a nice day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



smilezz -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 5:35:45 AM)

I would say that according to your profile, you have only met this person 4 days ago and you are calling him Master?  and you are crushed by the fact that he is married?  Is/was this an online thing?   you're not clear in that.

I also think if you are going to get into any type of relationship you need communication in everything.  If you have limits, you need to share them also.

Remember, you came here to ask a question, just because you may not get the answer you like, that people will give 'their' opinion does not mean you need to get all pissy about their answer.  If you can not deal with the response, don't post.

good luck,

~smilezz~



JessieMe -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 5:46:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kimsubfemale

And it seems those who come here looking for support can (Go WAAA! WAAA! WAAA! And be called a Crybabie. Because no one gives a  sh*t about others distressing circumstance. I’ve made my prob self-explanatory.



I  have posted an issue not that long ago and was given great support by the list group. But I think I was more willing to listen and respond back as I was learning from the process.

It is good that you have made your problem self-explanatory but if you are looking for answers outside yourself, then perhaps you should be a bit clear to others.

I am truly not trying to get you upset.. but as smiliez says.. if you cant handle others opinions on your problems, then perhaps this is not the best place to air them.

Good luck as you continue to grow in your journey to find the right one to serve.



nstyslave -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 6:39:10 AM)

At the risk of getting jumped for my opinion, here goes anyway...

1-Red Flags, should not ever be ignored. (re-negoitate with Him...what exactly?) He lied to begin with, don't think that will change. Communication and honesty are vital.

2-Trust your gut instict, and be savy in your choices.

3- Learn from your mistakes.

Furthermore, i do not know the dynamics of the situaion, but you call Him, Master...yet you post on here without His knowledge? 
you are not being honest with Him either...evasion is the same as a lie (no matter how it is justified).

Good Luck,
~nsty



heartfeltsub -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 6:48:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz

I would say that according to your profile, you have only met this person 4 days ago and you are calling him Master?  and you are crushed by the fact that he is married?  Is/was this an online thing?   you're not clear in that.

I also think if you are going to get into any type of relationship you need communication in everything.  If you have limits, you need to share them also.

Remember, you came here to ask a question, just because you may not get the answer you like, that people will give 'their' opinion does not mean you need to get all pissy about their answer.  If you can not deal with the response, don't post.

good luck,

~smilezz~



That was the point of my huh? i couldn't understand what she had written, which was partly my tiredness, but also based on her profile and her intro to the forum, she had never met her "Master" of 4 days.



nstyslave -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 6:50:47 AM)

(i missed that part....4 day's? gosh)



swtnsparkling -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 7:09:09 AM)

Is he your Master or ex Master? I am confused
IMO - use some basic common sence- if he is married and lied about it, he is going to lie about other things.
Why would a 19 yr old want to be with a married man anyway?
4 days online and he is already your Master?
Oh hell nevermind




MHOO314 -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 8:05:09 AM)

quote:

Hypothetically speaking - Do you think I should try re-negotiating my terms? And if so what guarantees will I have from him that it wont happen again? I believe we all have limits even as a submissive or “bottom” 


Why would you?  I think its time YOU set some limits on yourself---like learning from repeated mistakes.



Evanesce -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 8:33:23 AM)

I'm confused.  If he's an "ex" master, and he's obviously dishonest, what's to negotiate?  However, after the OP's little temper tantrum, I'm going to say if she's stupid enough to consider getting involved with this guy again, she deserves whatever comes of it.



kimsubfemale -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 9:22:38 AM)

In acknowledgement 

Many apologies for my out bust in my post

I really don’t know why I am going to tell you this, but here goes hides my embarrassment


Some of you,

Maybe wondering why someone so young would be interested in BDSM - 

As a young child – I had suffered many years of physical mental family sexual abuse, from my sicko step farther and 8 of he’s friends.   It’s a very long story. However to some degree I have developed into the person you see today.

And you’re wondering why I like older men? And why I love to be dominated, yes I am a nymphomaniac and I cant help that – even with lots of therapy and seeing a counsellor it doesn’t change my sexual behavior and who I have become today.

Guest this submissive slut, had better take hold of her riding crop and ride on out of here. Yes I’m leaving collarme, I thought I would fit in here apparently not. I’ll be back later to try and delete my profile. P.s. I am NOT looking for any ones (sympathy) so lets get that straight up.

Thanks for your help, bye! 


- kim



NastyDaddy -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 9:34:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kimsubfemale

.. Circumstances have changed – ...

.... Lied to me about being married...

- kim



Heed red flags in the beginning of any relationship kim... especially after your most recent experience.

What I quoted above is all you needed to reveal about that bad situation... you can't renegotiate lies!

The only 'renegotiation' should YOUR new approach to future initial negotiations... to include marital status and the dealbreaker staus of lies and ommissions.... if and when red flags pop up again, you must decide then and there who needs protection, you or the Liar. 

Good luck on your NEW lifestyle approach kim, and in your renewed self discipline... and in establishing married doms to be a limit of your's in the future...




feastie -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 9:36:15 AM)

Forget the crop and the pleas for sympathy.  You're a 19 year old kid that's had a difficult life and you just don't have your wings yet.  So you made a bad choice, what, four days ago?  Chalk it up as a learning experience and move along.  Don't allow someone to lie to you and put you in the position of lying and cheating.  If you play with a married man, he's made you his accomplice to his lies and deception.

You need to learn patience and you need to learn that not everyone will say what you want to hear.  And, if you plan on expressing yourself in written format, you need to learn to write so that others can understand the points you're attempting to make.



smilezz -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 10:23:31 AM)

quote:

Yes I’m leaving collarme, I thought I would fit in here apparently not. I’ll be back later to try and delete my profile. P.s. I am NOT looking for any ones (sympathy) so lets get that straight up.

I'm not going to give you any sympathy.  If you decide to leave, do so because you want to find out who you are and not let people you don't know influence that.  If not, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

good luck in whatever you seek.

~smilezz~ 



juliaoceania -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 10:45:38 AM)

If you do decide to stay I have some words of wisdom for you

Understand that there are few things in life that anyone knows

If you ask for advice and it disagrees with your worldview, accept it graciously, dismiss it, and move on.. that shows maturity and self confidence.

No stranger knows all the circumstances of your life based on a few words.


As to what you asked, BDSM is not therapy, even if it is cathartic at times... your submissivesness may have nothing to do with your abuse. I would find a kink friendly professional to help you with your mental health and healing from the abuse you have suffered and to try to understand the attraction that would keep you tied to a married, lying sack of skin pretending to be a dominant over the internet even though you have only been his for four days.

You are an attractive young lady, and it makes me wonder why you would put up with a liar when you could have a nice single dom in your life. We all make mistakes, and you are at the beginning of that journey of mistake making. I have to ask why you would settle for a married man.. it speaks of your desire to control rather than be controlled in my opinion.. you want to control the nature of reality, which is that this person is married, instead of finding a better reality elsewhere.

I wish you luck on your journey, but I see a trainwreck ahead for you, perhaps if you read the forums, found a more experienced submissive to email with, you would avoid that trainwreck and maybe find a match well suited to your needs... excusing your mistakes away by throwing up an abusive past isn't productive unless it helps you get out of a trainwreck, otherwise it is whining and looking for pity. Just my thoughts... I hope you find happiness.



Level -> RE: - Master Lied - (7/22/2006 11:12:44 AM)

Very, very nicely said, julia; I hope the young lady listens.



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