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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/25/2006 2:42:22 PM

littleone35

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My Master is not perfect noone is but he is perfect to and for me.

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/25/2006 2:59:27 PM

lilsubl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach

I put Master on a pedestal because in my eyes that is where he belongs. However, I dont wear the rose colors glasses. I know he is human, makes mistakes and has most other normal problems people on earth have. What allowed me to be able to keep him up on that pedestal is his honesty, he doesn't try to bullshit me into thinking he is anything but what he is.

this says pretty much how i feel about Master, also...when W/we first met, i did have on rose-colored glasses, i was in awe of Him, he could do no wrong...i have since gotten to know Him, He confides in me quite a bit, so i have learned about His humanness...everything that i have learned about Him makes me love Him more...He truly is the perfect One for me...as i've accepted His flaws, i have learned that i actually can love Him not in spite of them, but because of them...W/we do have a running gag, tho about the sampler that i will embroider to hang over my bed as a reminder: "Master is always right"

lilss linea

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/25/2006 3:50:27 PM

denika

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Pedestals are dangerous places, the higher the are the harder the fall. I've even put myself on one from time to time in a job related context. I never once thought of myself as better than others but I held myself to a higher standard and that just set myself up for failure.Same for anyone else I've put up on a pedastal wether it be my Top, a friend or even co-worker the humanity tends to get stripped away leaving a preconveived image and not reality.

I have put my Top on a pedastal (I'm a tall bottom so it's easier to kneel that way *w*) the first time I watched him play I was in awe, he was every leather-clad,bare chested sweaty sadistic guy I saw on Romance book covers *s* But as we got to know each other and before we ever played I met his family, he met Rob and we met the unmentionables. It grounded him as a real person with faults and flaws like everyone else. We have seen each other at our best and worst and that helped erode that pedistal so were were more eye to eye. The people I look up to I put on small pedastals, just little ones but I know I do it. I admire them and there is usually a good reason I've put them up there. It doesn't automaticly mean they are a better person than I am but they stand apart from the crowd.

Body functions are another good way to get someone down from a pedastal *giggles* trust me it's hard to be awe inspired and star struck when the person you are worshipping lets one rip *giggle* Rob knows all about that heehee, poor guy. :)

denika

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/26/2006 6:37:47 AM

LL1aintbehavin

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kyra.
i think you're thoughts in this are right on. Many people joke about the Dom is always right, but to believe that sets one up for a fall.
Dominants are human as well, and if we expect them to be perfect in all ways we are sure to be disappointed.
At times i feel we all disappoint our partners, trick is to forgive, accept that we all make mistakes and put it behind us.
aintbehavin

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/26/2006 2:13:11 PM

babysburnin

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I actually appreciate HIS flaws...it makes HIM real. Luckily, his so called "flaws" are things that I can live with, and sometimes add to his charm. At the start of any relationship things can be "starry-eyed and blissful". I think as we mature we appreciate that stage, but wait for reality before getting too sucked-into someone.

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/26/2006 8:00:47 PM

mellian

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I had ideas of what a Domme should be like, but truely did not have any real expectation or disallusioned, just very open, waiting for something happen, and not even sure what to expect myself, or what for ME to do.

-mellian

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/26/2006 9:15:01 PM

afeathr

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Rose-colored glasses went out of style in the 70's... it took me a while to take my off, but by the early 80's, thanks to some really ugly situations, I threw them out with the trash and never looked back.

I have been failed by so many men to this point that when I met Sir, I realized that he was going to have a long road to get me to trust him... and I told him such. We have only been together a short time (about 3 months now), but I find myself taken by His humanity as well. He is not perfect, nor am I and we learn that to a greater degree everyday. We have had many discussions about "settling" and "accepting" and what that means in relationships (I have many demons to fight), and He has seen my failings (saw a big one and caught me on it, last night) and I have seen *some* of His. I love the fact (and I do mean *love*) that He is very human in my eyes, and like many of the other posters, I have watched for red flags and looked very hard at things and weighed my ability to live with them - forever. There is not much that I have seen, thus far, to make me want to run... and believe me, I have been pushing the envelope a bit to test the waters. I am not an easy woman to live with (because of my demons and my expectations) and I want to be sure that any man that owns me understands that. It's only fair that He be as aware of me as I am of him...

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/27/2006 2:01:53 AM

mystiquenz

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What a wonderful question, kyro and congratulations on the thread.

Any new relationship, I think, starts off with rose coloured glasses on. Why, because the wants and the needs of the two people to see the other in their perfect state means that without embellishments of reality, they would be just like all the others, in the other collective mass.

I think that there are certain qualities that we are drawn to, and for myself, I tend to look for the complete package, although, without really the physical, spiritual, emotional and intellectual qualities being present, I am of the viewpoint, without the complete package, for me, a relationship would not be sustainable.

Whilst I'm looking, for my *perfect* Mate, I do believe that I am open to the red flags, and especially in the contexts of bdsm. One would be foolish not to follow their gut instincts, and they probably could write out their own obituary notice if one did not ensure that the areas of play were both agreeable and consensual.

I think it is relatively normal to put your Dominant up high, for a variety of reasons. The closeness that occurs between the Dominant and His submissive, requires more than ample portions of respect and trust that accumulates with the passing of time. If a submissive did not trust nor respect her Dominant would that submissive/slave be comfortable when that Dominant one was holding a knife, bullwhip or cane? I just think about the countless possible answers here!

None of us are perfect, from the Dominant who is "supposedly in full control 100% of the time", to the submissive/slave whose service or attitude or devotion seldom leaves nothing to be desired. Let’s face facts, none of us super-human! There has to be the good and the bad, and even your dream partner, is not going to meet 100% of either ones expectations. We don’t always wake up smiley faced and chirpy and showing that toothpaste smile, sometimes we wake up with the weight of tomorrow’s realities on our shoulders.

I can understand both sides of the coin, but regardless, every one hears a different drummer, and that in itself, is a positive beat. Realty on the other hand, sometimes gets blury with illusion, because of our wishes and desire sometimes lead to poor judgement. Then that is the time to apply the brakes.

Honesty by both parties, in my humble opinion, with clear communication and clear vision, those who are accepting of the good, the bad and the indifferent ... adds to the mixed bag of potpourri on our journey.

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blessings
~mystique~

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RE: Illusion vs. Reality - 7/27/2006 2:31:41 AM

kajirus302868633

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greetingsin my opinion you should be the pedestal for your Beloved.....then they are never elevated higher that you wish them to be, and if they ever fall you may be underneath to cushion the blow......(and you get to see under their skirt!!!!!) humbly...kajirus302868633 my Mistress' beloved possesion

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