Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: This is fucking ridiculous but....


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/20/2016 9:39:22 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

Hello HiS,

Thank you for taking the time to respond with such a great message.

It's over. It's repeated. He isn't a sub. He is a kinkster. There's a difference and neither is wrong, it's just not what we agreed to.

Thanks again. :)



If he agreed to it, then it is wrong. Call a spade a spade.


_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MizzesMia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 12:13:37 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Hello A/all,

The consensus seems to be, "Kick him to the curb." I concur.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 2:55:51 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		those do me subs are just pathetic, they get the wrong information online and wow they enter the lifestyle begging for Dominants to "do me the way I want to be done."

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 7:49:13 AM   
MizzesMia


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

those do me subs are just pathetic, they get the wrong information online and wow they enter the lifestyle begging for Dominants to "do me the way I want to be done."


(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 7:53:03 AM   
MizzesMia


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

I think the problem might just be insurmountable. It's as simple as, You are not a submissive, you're a guy who wants kink - which is fine, but I want a submissive. I want an exchange of power, not a power struggle.


That was pretty much my thought. I would still go for an adult conversation and then the kicking to the curb.




I'm so sorry! I missed this! I agree. Intelligent. Fair. And Just.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 8:02:07 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		I find they're are very little BDSM slaves on line and a lot of do me subs online.

(in reply to MizzesMia)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 8:05:01 AM   
MizzesMia


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline
TY!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Hello A/all,

The consensus seems to be, "Kick him to the curb." I concur.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger


(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 8:41:59 AM   
MizzesMia


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/21/2016 4:50:04 PM   
HonorInSlavery


Posts: 23
Joined: 8/16/2016
Status: offline 		Would it be wrong to inquire of his error? Only if you wish. Might be worth a laugh?

(in reply to MizzesMia)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/22/2016 2:58:03 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		kinksters have no idea they aren't submissives or slaves

(in reply to HonorInSlavery)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/22/2016 3:09:39 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

kinksters have no idea they aren't submissives or slaves


This is true.

After all, people have been told that they are submissive if they like getting spanked or getting pegged. They don't realize that that has NOTHING to do with submissiveness.

That said, when people make an agreement and do not stick to it (or own up as soon as they realize they will not or cannot), that does mean they are a douchebag.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/22/2016 4:25:03 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		that's true. eh if you are a kinkster and just like getting a spanking in bed than admit it, don't arrange something with an actual Dominant, claim you are a submissive and then say you won't do something as soon as the Dominant has something like do the household grocery shopping for the week.

The problem that I have with kinksters they don't know what BDSM is so they actually don't know what the letters stand for. They claim they are Dominant or submissive to get their kink filled, misleading people a long the way. It also gives them a bad rap among the lifestylers.

One of my questions that I always ask when people profess interest to me online, is what is BDSM and what does it mean to you? That's how I weed out kinksters vs lifestylers (hey that can be a reality tv show).

(in reply to NookieNotes)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/22/2016 9:12:32 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76


The problem that I have with kinksters they don't know what BDSM is so they actually don't know what the letters stand for. They claim they are Dominant or submissive to get their kink filled, misleading people a long the way. It also gives them a bad rap among the lifestylers.



I think that's one of the reasons that there are so many cries of "fake". You get people that are bottoms or tops claiming to be submissive or Dominants. So, they get called fake when they fail to perform. Add to that, the people that realize that those Tops and bottoms are misrepresenting themselves Dominants and submissives and refuse to engage...and then the Tops and Bottoms call them fake.


< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 8/22/2016 9:13:04 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/22/2016 9:29:58 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Which is why people shouldn't get into a relationship until there's been a lot of conversation, including what they envision daily life being like, in detail.

It would be sensible for the op to keep that in mind next time.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/22/2016 1:40:09 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		Tops and Bottoms don't understand that lifestyle submissives or Dominants would like to be involved with lifestyle submissives or Dominants, its a way of life a lot of us choose not just a thrill in the bedroom.

also for DesFIP: Bingo, I tell people on both sides of the slash all the time, conversation to find out if the person is right for them. I think the actual Dominants can weed out the ones that aren't submissives that way, same with actual submissives can weed out the ones that aren't actual Dominants and just kinksters.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 8/22/2016 7:58:39 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

I would really appreciate comments, mostly indicating how unacceptable this behavior is. I'm not the type to air my drama. I hate it in fact. I just really want this thing to get a dose of reality. Please.



There's a quote from Sun Tzu's The Art Of War that deals with this:

(I'm doing this from memory so it may not be exact) "If the orders are unclear, it is the fault of the general, when the soldier fails, but if the orders are clear, the fault is with the soldier."

I have always believed, if my orders are clear, there are only two kinds of failure on the part of the submissive:

1) Failure of ability, where they just cannot do as I've asked (ie; "Go out in the back yard and flap your arms until you fly")
2) Failure of desire, where they don't want to do as I've asked (In my mind, a submissive that wants to please me will go flap their arms. They'll try to do as I've asked. They desire to please me).

Since this case sounds like the submissive had the ability, he lacked the desire.

There are some submissives that will claim it is the fault of the dominant for not inspiring the submissive properly, but that's a cop-out. If a submissive isn't inspired by a dominant, they should just walk.

This situation sounds like your submissive was in the relationship for what they could get out of it only and didn't give a fat rat's ass about your desires.



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to MizzesMia)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 9/9/2016 12:05:41 PM   
Numerans


Posts: 87
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

those do me subs are just pathetic, they get the wrong information online and wow they enter the lifestyle begging for Dominants to "do me the way I want to be done."


They are bottoms and just mix it up with being a sub. Though Id say even a submissive can choose to disregard this or that and fights can ensue. Apparently this woman wanted a TPE which frankly is extremely rare and from what I ve heard works even rarer.


This guy seems to have been dealing with the issue as you would in any normal relationship...someone is nagging you about something you do not care about but you want to be nice to them so you say that you'll do it or not do it but then after some time you can't be bothered again. Some examples are drinking or smoking or clubbing late.
quote:




If a submissive isn't inspired by a dominant, they should just walk.



Disagree. Nothing is perfect, some things may not be inspiring, other things may not be agreeable. The issue seems to be that as mentioned the dude probably didn't know or didn't care to know enough about what a TPE is. Does not mean that he doesn't have a submissive personality or doesn't enjoy having someone make certain decisions in life or get dominated in bed or what ever else someone may associate with this term.

< Message edited by Numerans -- 9/9/2016 12:08:45 PM >

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 9/9/2016 12:25:39 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		granted not everyone is going to know what TPE is even if they are submissives. But this particular one does sound like a bottom to me.



If a submissive isn't inspired by a dominant, they should just walk.

I don't like that statement. I almost walked but not because of not being inspired. There was a low time for about 7-8 months where he took everything BDSM into the equation and essentially became vanilla. I was unhappy and I almost walked because of it.

(in reply to Numerans)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 9/9/2016 12:44:34 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		I can answer this in many ways would the reader prefer to orgasm or not…ach no matter.

You must beat that one immediately with a potato masher and then thrash creature thoroughly with the kitchen sink and thence tie it to the whirligig – on an eve such as this; dark and gloomy with horizontal rain lashing at their bodies and you (and cats) peer at them from the bedroom window and hurl insults at them and grand pianos’ onto their wee toe and anvils and thence sell all their belongings for cake money shoes etc and put them on muffinbay.

You either have what they call a mad fuker or someone so broken they are fractured from reality itself and inhabit a plethora of others talking arse spraying mayem and lunacy on one of their better days

Powerful as my mind is I cannot change them or rescue them.

You are not drowning.
They are drowning you.

Let them go before the do damage to you or absorb/waste a years of your life.
You will get no answers from madness/sophisms. ever – do not let that be the bait that binds you.

Or destroy them at their own game – trust me they are not worth the effort or toll they would take on you


< Message edited by WickedsDesire -- 9/9/2016 12:45:55 PM >

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... - 9/9/2016 12:53:47 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		It occurs to me, that perhaps he thought power exchange meant you finding ways of beating, cheating, tricking submission out of him and the whole being reasonable and patient thing just wasn't doing it. Just a thought.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078