This is fucking ridiculous but.... (Full Version)

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MizzesMia -> This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 12:35:36 PM)

Would anyone mind answering a question.... This is so ridiculous that I'm shaking my head as I post.

The s has a habit that was completely disrespectful. Over and over he just walked all over my wishes. So finally, to be as fair as possible, I gave him the terms so that if he did it again, it would be just willful disregard. The rule... if you do such and such a thing. *(Specifically, don't bring up a certain subject without permission). It will seriously make me feel disrespected. Don't do it.

Then, I explained in great detail, going on and on to explain what that thing was and why I didn't want it to occur.

he did it.

I pronounced sentence.

He pretends afterward to not understand what I am talking about.. like a little puppy turning its head from side to side trying to discern the noises coming out of my mouth. And he almost had me convinced he's mentally disabled. But he's a sheriff, a fireman, and a master sergeant, so I expect him to understand what a fifth grader would understand, knowing that it is very intelligent and I'm very clear and very fair.

It refused to accept the sentence (after it already acknowledged that it was fair) and so I considered the reasons it might be objectionable (which was irritating in itself) and, after considering, relented and imposed a very, very, fitting punishment COMPLETELY within our power exchange.

It accused me of manufacturing a situation to benefit from the punishment.

The entire reason for the punishment is to deter its bullshit refusal to obey my command not to talk without permission.

I would really appreciate comments, mostly indicating how unacceptable this behavior is. I'm not the type to air my drama. I hate it in fact. I just really want this thing to get a dose of reality. Please.



OsideGirl -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 12:40:55 PM)

I would start with a discussion:

1) Did you understand the instruction?

2) Why did you ignore the instruction?

If you don't get legitimate answers, you don't have a submissive, you just have a guy/woman in your life.

If you don't get answers that make sense, you need to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting and if that doesn't work, be prepared to release him/her.



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 12:42:58 PM)

I agree with that 100% and that is exactly why we had this conversation. It already had happened and I was fed up. So I established a penalty.

Thank you for the intelligent post. I was hesitant to come out but I really needed to vent.


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I would start with a discussion:

1) Did you understand the instruction?

2) Why did you ignore the instruction?

If you don't get legitimate answers, you don't have a submissive, you just have a guy/woman in your life.

If you don't get answers that make sense, you need to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting and if that doesn't work, be prepared to release him/her.




DarkSteven -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 2:45:55 PM)


"It accused me of manufacturing a situation to benefit from the punishment. "

That right there would make me kick someone to the curb, especially since you seem to be putting in a hell of a lot of work here.

However. .. is he new to this world? Has he seen a whole bunch of femdom porn where a Domme "punished" her sub for something? If so, I suggest your next punishments consist of him writing lines and/or being ignored for a few days.



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 3:09:52 PM)

tell him to do the dishes, vacuum and wash the floors then he'll understand what being a slave in a BDSM relationship is, it's not watch some porn get your dick hard.



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 3:50:17 PM)

quote:

do the dishes, vacuum and wash the floors

Sounds pretty fucking vanilla to me. :)



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 4:46:14 PM)

it is but it's excellent punishment for slaves that don't listen and they misbehave because to get a punishment they want



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 4:59:28 PM)

Thank you. I appreciate your comments. ... lol. Especially, the "I would kick it to the curb" comment.

I think the problem might just be insurmountable. It's as simple as, You are not a submissive, you're a guy who wants kink - which is fine, but I want a submissive. I want an exchange of power, not a power struggle.



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 5:00:29 PM)

Lol.



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 5:01:37 PM)

He's not submitting so it's moot at this point.



OsideGirl -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 5:14:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

I think the problem might just be insurmountable. It's as simple as, You are not a submissive, you're a guy who wants kink - which is fine, but I want a submissive. I want an exchange of power, not a power struggle.


That was pretty much my thought. I would still go for an adult conversation and then the kicking to the curb.





ThatDizzyChick -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/19/2016 5:26:37 PM)

quote:

it is but it's excellent punishment for slaves that don't listen and they misbehave because to get a punishment they want

I meant that it sounded like life before D/s. Besides, I like doing housework so it wouldn't be a punishment to me, it would be a reward.



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 5:06:29 AM)

I like a clean house, right now the sink is backed up and the plumber won't be here till Monday, the caretaker and fix it guy made it a bit worse, it's driving me insane, I had to cover it with a towel, correction, I have two sinks so they are both covered.

I always felt it was based on my D/s relationships, some Dominants want slaves to do housework as part of their power exchange agreement. One female Dominant I was a slave to once, wanted me to make a Dominants dinner for her and 11 other Dominants male and female, cooked what she wanted me to make, served in a particular way and if I did well, which I did, boy did I have a great session afterwards.



servantforuse -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 6:40:53 AM)

It might be time to let him go and find someone that really wants to serve you.



Gauge -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 8:11:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

Would anyone mind answering a question.... This is so ridiculous that I'm shaking my head as I post.

The s has a habit that was completely disrespectful. Over and over he just walked all over my wishes. So finally, to be as fair as possible, I gave him the terms so that if he did it again, it would be just willful disregard. The rule... if you do such and such a thing. *(Specifically, don't bring up a certain subject without permission). It will seriously make me feel disrespected. Don't do it.

Then, I explained in great detail, going on and on to explain what that thing was and why I didn't want it to occur.

he did it.



You took the time to explain why you did not want something done. You explained that you would view it as willful disregard of your feelings over this particular thing. You explained that it would show you disrespect if he did it. And yet, he did it, yet again.

You have been patient, which is great. You have communicated clearly with him why this particular subject is off limits without your expressed permission. You explained to him what would happen if he did it again. You followed through with the consequence. In my eyes, this is a very good way to deal with something like this.

My question to you is, do you have any faith that your submissive will not do this again, after repeated attempts to get him to cease this behavior?

If your answer is yes, then it worked. If your answer is no, or I don't know... then this is borderline deal breaking behavior. It's time to draw the proverbial line in the sand. Explain it to him and explain that this is a potential deal breaker. If he crosses the line again, time to look for someone who will do as you wish.



HonorInSlavery -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 2:25:39 PM)

I'm pretty new face to face... But I'm gauled as a sub that he would even do this repeatedly...
I would expect only 2 allowable infractions with my Domme...apart from really not understanding (but I'm a quick learner), and even if I wasn't getting it, I wouldn't be disrespectful or flaunting. My first infraction even if semi devious would be dealt with verbally...second infraction would definitely be significant punishment (unless I made a honest mistake) third time I would expect to be dismissed....a Dommes time, especially with a male sub is far to valuable... Is he live in?



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 6:10:00 PM)

Hello HiS,

Thank you for taking the time to respond with such a great message.

It's over. It's repeated. He isn't a sub. He is a kinkster. There's a difference and neither is wrong, it's just not what we agreed to.

Thanks again. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HonorInSlavery

I'm pretty new face to face... But I'm gauled as a sub that he would even do this repeatedly...
I would expect only 2 allowable infractions with my Domme...apart from really not understanding (but I'm a quick learner), and even if I wasn't getting it, I wouldn't be disrespectful or flaunting. My first infraction even if semi devious would be dealt with verbally...second infraction would definitely be significant punishment (unless I made a honest mistake) third time I would expect to be dismissed....a Dommes time, especially with a male sub is far to valuable... Is he live in?




MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 6:13:28 PM)

Hi.

Thank you for responding. :) Sometimes a person (namely, me) just needs to hear I'm not crazy.

he was a live in. This very thing has been the problem the whole time. We haven't been in contact for a couple years. Were just barely giving it a go and it was instant.



HonorInSlavery -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 7:02:58 PM)

Glad it's all wrapped up! LOL.... (or tied up?)



ShaharThorne -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 7:51:08 PM)

A sub who does what he wants with total disregard to your wishes? Even despite having penalties, he still does it? He is not a sub but a do-me and is really not in the lifestyle but wanting a quick lay. Like Steven says, kick him to the curb. He is not worth the time and your sanity.



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