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Mavis -> RE: Getting over it (7/24/2006 1:32:08 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Caretakr
I think far too many dysfunctional people use the lifestyle as a bandaid to cover some pretty severe lacks. "I totally suck at regular relationships, so if I gain/lose power that's going to make everything all right."
Bullshit, you will just be a fuck-up in a power imbalance dynamic.
i would agree on that. Kind of cracked me up too. but those people will not find "the fix" here either, we really do need to wholes to make one whole couple.. (or 3 + wholes if poly)
But geez, can you at least conceed that enjoying or needing punishment as part of our dynamic is not the same as being dysfunctional.. there are differences between bratting/ attention getting behaviors (which do make some couples very happy!) and the basically earnest sub who occasionally needs the purging release of physical dominance, and that "Play" doesn't quite do that. "creating a scene" is just that, creating a largley scripted, played out fiction, and that doesn't serve the purpose for some of us. But that play is very satisfying for some.. there was a thread that touched on some of this earlier, and you may have taken only the "acting- out to get spanks" kind of mindeset from that discussion, but i assure you there was more to it than that.
You've only assumed that ALL people with punishment needs live that way daily, but my experience with the few subs who discuss a punishment dynamic, it's very infrequent, for exactly the reasons You state.. it could become pretty taxing, and it possibly could absolve otherwise capable submissives of coping with their little guilts in proactive and productive ways.
i think If you met a few matured, balanced, people who practice this as part of their dynamic, it might not be so easy to equate us with emotional cripples. and maybe yu'd cuss us less?
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