Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Getting over it


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Getting over it Page: <<   < prev  7 8 [9] 10 11   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:00:21 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eroticangel

it wasn't what He said or how He said it...it was how YOU took it...i find it to be a oerfectly normal thread and a perfectly normal request...i don't believe the OP is trying to make anyone change their thought or who they ar He is just trying to pass on His thoughts....Frankly i think you have all been so thrilled to turn this against Him...we all have a right to seek what WE want.


It's all right angel, I'm used to people dumping thier baggage on me here. And it is what I get, for doing the same.

(in reply to eroticangel)
Profile   Post #: 161
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:02:19 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Read the entire thread where he admitted freely to creating a controversy... not that it would necessarily be a bad thing... it just means when we stir the hornets nest we tend to get stung..


On edit: Im controversial too at times and I think that it was calling people losers that ruffled the feathers a little

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/22/2006 5:03:32 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to eroticangel)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:03:16 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline 		At least dumping baggage is free here ... they charged me $25 at the airport!

~enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:04:17 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Some people enjoy controversy......others do not...

just my thoughts on it.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:05:14 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Oh,I understand how they WORK Noah,been there, done that.

I just wanna have a CHOICE in whether to use them!


Me too, cause nobody knows better than an accomplished punisher the limits of its usefulness and the sickly way it can slide into bullshit if not properly managed. This brings me to a point of strong agreement with your OP if I read it right. The only way to manage that dynamic according to my preference is to delegate most of the shitwork to the person who wants to benefit from it. Like you I will walk away early from someone who can't fairly soon recognize, for instance, her tendency to manipulativeness and begin to do the hard work necessary to notice the sometimes insidious ways it can infect all sort of behavior. If the object is a primary relationship that whole process has to be completed or never called for in the first place.

Just imagine though, if we were very wise in the ways of humanity! Wouldn't that be cool?

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:09:29 PM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		i did read the whole thread.......seems to me some took things to be meant towards them....i didn't see that they were

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:11:30 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Noah, your posts get better every day.. I swear they do.


Oh. So they used to suck that bad, did they? Is that what you're saying?

Harpy!

I and several members of my fan club like your stuff too. And that one guy whose napkins I heard you are in charge of folding.... I don't want to spread any false rumors or true ones so I won't mention any names but if the rumors are true tell him he's a breath of fresh air sometimes too.

HEY! SOMEBODY CUE THE FUCKING KUMBAYA MUSIC! NOW!

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:12:24 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

Just imagine though, if we were very wise in the ways of humanity! Wouldn't that be cool?



      "If we are so superior, what are we doing working here?"   Randal to Dante, Clerks.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:15:36 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Oh,I understand how they WORK Noah,been there, done that.

I just wanna have a CHOICE in whether to use them!


Me too, cause nobody knows better than an accomplished punisher the limits of its usefulness and the sickly way it can slide into bullshit if not properly managed. This brings me to a point of strong agreement with your OP if I read it right. The only way to manage that dynamic according to my preference is to delegate most of the shitwork to the person who wants to benefit from it. Like you I will walk away early from someone who can't fairly soon recognize, for instance, her tendency to manipulativeness and begin to do the hard work necessary to notice the sometimes insidious ways it can infect all sort of behavior. If the object is a primary relationship that whole process has to be completed or never called for in the first place.

Just imagine though, if we were very wise in the ways of humanity! Wouldn't that be cool?


Yes........I want compliance. Not denial.

This is going to sound like whining, but here it is. I have had a FEW subs like this, in the past. My bad, after number one, that I did two and three. The nuances were intially difficult to spot.

All ended about the same-I was expected to do the shit work.

Considering that they locked and bolted the door to the chamber pot-I was not even allowed to get my hands dirty-much less empty the commode.

The flush must be done from the INSIDE.

I can talk about shit till my lips fall off, but the sub's gotta be the one to push it out.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:15:42 PM   
peta


Posts: 29
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up.

Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch.
And drama only encourages more.
You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work.
I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih.
Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo".


Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure.

I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong.  I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment.

Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me.  If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also.  When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? 

I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing.  D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions.

peta


(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:20:39 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peta

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up.

Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch.
And drama only encourages more.
You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work.
I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih.
Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo".


Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure.

I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong.  I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment.

Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me.  If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also.  When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? 

I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing.  D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions.

peta




Believe it or no, that's the perfect slave to me. Just be real, be with it. The fantasies can come out during play time.........peace and freedom, you can't ask for a lot more than that.

(in reply to peta)
Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:22:01 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline 		You didn't pay close enough attention to the post, Noah.  What I stated was that someone who is honestly still an emtional child - as opposed to someone having a kink that includes acting occassionally childlike - is not in a position to be in a relationship.  I also stated that the Kink is significantly different than someone dodging adulthood out of incompitance.
 
(And the Tagline - My Karma ran over your Dogma, etc... is meant for humor.)

quote:

original hisgeorgiapeach

Punishement - as opposed to Discipline - is for children.  And someone who is still a Child rather than an Adult is in no condition emotionally to be in a Relationship in the first place.  Having a Kink of being childlike at times with your partner doesn't even begin to enter into what we're talking about here
 

 
edited to go back and quote my own original text, in context.

< Message edited by hizgeorgiapeach -- 7/22/2006 5:26:09 PM >

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:28:16 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail.  You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter.


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:33:47 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail.  You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter.



And we have the first winner of the thread. Step right up and claim your prize-you can have the fuzzy teddy bear in the bondage rig, the flogger, or a trip to buy shoes.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 7/22/2006 5:34:09 PM >

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:34:17 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

and btw I could say you travel in packs too, but My dignity won't let Me stoop that low--ahem.



and btw I could point out that you just did stoop that low except in a transparently disingenuous manner, but, you know ... my hypermagnitudinous dignity and shit.

Keep posting MHOO. You make me laugh.
And your little dog too.

Hey, also btw: my neighbor raises milk and he has this one fat cow who seems to pronounce it just like that: "mMMHOOOOoooo" when he clamps the milker to her droopy old udders. He says she talks all hoity toity like so people will think she's wise in the ways of cowmanity. But he says actually it only fools the dumb cows and actually he can't swear that she ain't a few squirts short of a pail if you know what I mean. Then I usually buy him a beer. Do you think that's okay?

Oh. I just noticed that you yourself have a cattle avatar. What a coincidence!

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:47:59 PM   
peta


Posts: 29
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

quote:

ORIGINAL: peta

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up.

Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch.
And drama only encourages more.
You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work.
I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih.
Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo".


Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure.

I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong.  I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment.

Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me.  If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also.  When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? 

I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing.  D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions.

peta




Believe it or no, that's the perfect slave to me. Just be real, be with it. The fantasies can come out during play time.........peace and freedom, you can't ask for a lot more than that.


Just so much is discussed about punishment.  Why on earth should a mature person who seeks out this type of relationship need to be punished or corrected? 

Go into the relationship with your eyes open.

Know what is expected of you and do it.

Communicate in a positive way any issues you may have.

If things are not working admit it and move on.

Simple!!  LOL

peta

Oh and thankyou for the compliment....I believe it was a compliment anyway..smiles.


< Message edited by peta -- 7/22/2006 5:50:03 PM >

_____________________________

Not trying for the popularity vote

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:50:34 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peta

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

quote:

ORIGINAL: peta

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I've had past girls who thought I was an absolute bastard, for a certain attitude I had. You see,I won't punish. I don't think I should be enforcing someone keeping her word to me. And I don't feel that I should be catering to a girl atoning for HER guilt-when she childishly insists on beating herself up for screwing up.

Here's why. I won't be held responsible for someone eles's lack of emotional self control. If I cater to this nuerotic impulse, I only further reenforce it. I really hate having my time wasted by someone moping around-when there are things to be done. Get the fuck over yourself and deal with it, bitch.
And drama only encourages more.
You see,taking punishment is very catholic. There's really not a lot of consequence in avoiding the sin-if all you have to do is to pay some quick and easy penance. What I want to see happen, is work.
I can try to all the outside reenforcement in the world-and it usually won't work. The real nitty gritty and improvement comes when you force someone to take the proper personal accountability-and make them do the internal work, that corrects the attitudes and feelings that made the problems to begin wih.
Rather than slapping a bandage on the "boo boo".


Ok, guess my true side shows again..........Not quite slave like I am sure.

I am an adult, if I need to be punished I am doing something wrong.  I strongly believe that some submissive women/men seek out negative attention from their Dom/Master because they enjoy the drama and the punishment.

Hell if I want a good beating I will ask for one and hope it is in His mind that day to give one to me.  If I need a shoulder to cry on I can ask Him for that also.  When the slave/sub concentrates on their submission isn't it supposed to be that we thrive to please Him/Her? 

I don't get the need for punishment, also believe that the word 'correction' is just another word for the exact same thing.  D/s, M/s, BDSM is all consensual......grow up and be responsible for your own actions.

peta




Believe it or no, that's the perfect slave to me. Just be real, be with it. The fantasies can come out during play time.........peace and freedom, you can't ask for a lot more than that.


Just so much is discussed about punishment.  Why on earth shown a mature person who seeks out this type of relationship need to be punished or corrected? 

Go into the relationship with your eyes open.

Know what is expected of you and do it.

Communicate in a positive way any issues you may have.

If things are not working admit it and move on.

Simple!!  LOL

peta

Oh and thankyou for the compliment....I believe it was a compliment anyway..smiles.




It was, and thank you.

And Noah,you are freaking KILLING me here.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(in reply to peta)
Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:53:02 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail.  You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter.



And we have the first winner of the thread. Step right up and claim your prize-you can have the fuzzy teddy bear in the bondage rig, the flogger, or a trip to buy shoes.


But what if I want to be the one in the bondage rig AND have the flogger used on me, AFTER I bought those sexy shoes?  LOL

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:53:51 PM   
stanton


Posts: 41
Status: offline 		"""I am totally cool if your kink is to consensually grind your heel on any show of weakness and call it tough love."""  Yowza!

OP: This still running on?  Feel for you, man. Are you sure you aren't a ref shouting OUT! before the batter even gets to the plate?

Just cause one or two wern't your style- maybe you are too quick to label? Shit, you'd scare me into diapers....

Lots of laughs  

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Getting over it - 7/22/2006 5:55:13 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

There is a big difference between emotional support and emotional blackmail.  You are discussing the former, the OP discusses the latter.



Exactly! We were both talking about punishment but focusing on two distinct sorts of phenomena associated with punishment dynamics in relationships.

At first he was discussing the latter as if it would characterize any maso-sub's desire for a punishment dynamic to be part of her relationship. Then he had an RC Cola and Moon Pie and felt much better.

Then the harpies attacked!

What a day, huh?

Several of the posters in between and since have been promoting a general principle that punishment cannot be a part of a healthy adult relationship. This is very similar to that classic argument that whipping and beating and stuff cannot be a part of a healthy adult relationship. And equally valid.

I was showing that punishment can be a lot of things to a lot of people. One possibility is that it can be evidence of a fucked-up unrecognized topping-from-the-bottom manipulation. Another possibility is that it can be more damn trouble than it is worth to the top. Another possibility is that it can be a consensual effort at emotional support between, you know, kinky grownups.

I advocated not throwing the unmentionable out with the bathwater. Are you down with that?

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 180
Page:   <<   < prev  7 8 [9] 10 11   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Getting over it Page: <<   < prev  7 8 [9] 10 11   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094