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longwayhome -> RE: Losers and failures (8/31/2016 6:32:26 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
quote:
Oh yes. Very much. I've had this conversation a few times lately, and I think you've touched on something very deep.
Thank you. I am, of course, a very deep person, as you so perceptively observe. [:)]
A long while ago, I got into Jungian psychology. It was all about myths - and, crucially, why certain myths *stick* and are pretty eternal, in this story, that story, this film, that film, etc, etc, etc.
One of these 'eternal stories' is that of the Enchantress, Circe, and the men she turns into pigs. These are men who - literally - are so enchanted by Circe that they cannot help but act like animals. They lose their human control ... and they're gone. Thousands of years later - the same theme, with Marlene Dietrich playing the nightclub singer who bewitches the professor in 'The Blue Angel'. All his intellectual's control dissipates. Forward again half a century: the episode of Star Trek in which Kirk and the usual team visit a planet run by women who control men with the 'power rings' on their fingers. The Queen forces Kirk to act like he's a braying horse.
Jung himself said that the 'feminine side' in a male can certainly take that turn. You must let it out and let it do its stuff - but you must *not* give it unlimited freedom. It isn't a real female - it's just your feminine side. You have to stay in command. Not suppress - big difference - but stay in control.
What that translates to is that you might whisper the words 'My Goddess' between the sheets, and let the rapture sweep over you ... but in the morning she will probably fart at some point, and then you'll be obliged fondly to take the piss out of her.
I largely agree but there's nothing wrong with being enchanted. It's just a problem if what you are enchanted by is the fantasy as opposed to the person.
Fantasy is great as an enhancement to reality or a route to discovery. After all we inhabit a rich dream realm as well as the "real" world.
Unfortunately many people project their fantasy onto others and they fall in love with the projection, be it the worthless worm to the princess or some other manufactured scene. It's not that scenes can't be fun but they are hardly a firm basis for something meaningful and truly life enhancing.
You can still feel a sense of wonder with another without idealising them or worshipping their image. Accepting that people are not images of kinky perfection but flawed human beings who succeed and fail, soar to heights and fall on their faces, transcend their reality, do the dishes and clean up shit is far more life affirming than constructing an icon to fetishise.
It's a logical inconsistency to want someone who is worthless. If that's your thing then their feelings of worthlessness must be worth something to you. If that's the game you both play that is good for both of you, but as a starting point it does have its risks in terms of how any relationship develops and how you get to know each other.
If you are an empty vessel then you have nothing to give. Pretending to be an empty vessel if it does something for the other person is another matter, but only for the right person.
From my point of view introducing myself as a worthless human being is unhelpful, unproductive and demeaning in all the wrong ways. Maybe it works for some but it does look a bit like a cliché searching for a purpose, rather than a human being seeking a connection.
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