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RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/30/2016 2:18:07 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheReadingPuppy

ive been many times. used to be a house slave there. mostly couples.


Shame.

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(in reply to TheReadingPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/30/2016 2:50:24 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

LOL. Yeah, YOU probably would but that's 'cause you've got game.


OP, before I give you a ration of sh^t, I do have to tell you, that is the cutest dang puppy on your profile.

Now that I have that out of the way...

Are you willing to entertain, just the slightest possibility, that you might be going about this the wrong way?

There are several people on this thread, myself included, who aren't pro-dommes, fin dommes, or anything else. We don't session by the hour or any of that crap.life

However, for every one of us, there are a hundred of you. Let that sink in really, REALLY good. And, all of you are like the puppies in the box. "Pick me! Pick me!"

What you really have to do is stand out, rather than those other 99.

Every lifestyle fem-D that I know who is dating, has a reason she picked the guy who is in her life. You want to be that guy.




Attitude begats reality.

People attract what they put out.
Go into something with a predetermined defeatist mentality, they'll likely walk out defeated.
I want something, I make it happen. Determine what I need to do to actualize, then go out and do those fucking things.
Because a dream without feet attached is nothing but an illusion.

Laughs-I ain't a sub, but I can promise you that if I was, I wouldn't have trouble finding Dommes that wanted to top me!
Shit-I bet a few would line up for the opportunity to beat my ass

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/30/2016 4:12:31 PM   
mistermaid


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/13/2009
Status: offline 		The problem is that sub men outnumber Dominant women by a good 259 to 1, so the Dominants can be picky. Add to that the fact that probably 90% of the Dominants are Pro's of one flavour or another and you'll realize the chances of you meeting a genuine real life Dominant female are pretty low. Also most Domme's aren't Dominant in their vanilla lives, very few want a live in slave, who would, think how exhausting it would be. I'm a sub but I'd never want to live it 24/7.

D/s is a fetish, an adult game and also a multi billion pound industry. You like the rest of us are very unlikely to ever meet a true life style Dominant, because they're as rare as rocking horse poo.

(in reply to TheReadingPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/30/2016 4:17:12 PM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheReadingPuppy

so many many many fakes. no genuine lifestyle Mistresses.


I think there are a fair number of genuine lifestyle Mistresses here. But the ratio of male subs to genuine Mistresses is very high, and competition is therefore high.

In a very competitive market, one must offer something of exceptional value to come out on top. The preponderance of male subs do not seem to realize this fact. Most offer nothing but their submission, as if it is some great gift, rather than the absolute default prerequisite for every single submissive.

And to top is off... many treat the Mistresses they are talking to as if they are idiots who cannot tell that the whole transaction is just a wank fest for the sub, who often has no intention of following through on anything anyway.

In that light, I find the complaint has little merit.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 8/30/2016 4:19:26 PM >

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to TheReadingPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/30/2016 4:22:28 PM   
DynamicDs


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/29/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

Most offer nothing but their submission



Most don't offer submission. They offer a list of demands and arguments about why I should give up my requirements to suit them.


(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/31/2016 5:18:13 AM   
TheReadingPuppy


Posts: 31
Joined: 11/19/2015
Status: offline 		Also I've noticed most of your responses on this thread have been from people in the USA, hence my original point. No uk Dommes!

(in reply to DynamicDs)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/31/2016 6:48:16 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline 		There are some UK Dommes out there.

But the criteria is just the same - you have to be at least a notch above the other 99.9% of the minions out there.
On top of that, you have to be more diligent in your choices instead of messaging everything that identifies as a domme.

I see by your dramatically negative journal that you don't believe there are such things as FemDommes.
Your negative approach will get you no takers.
Your whole whiny attitude is a turn-off for anyone genuine. Bad move.



_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to TheReadingPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/31/2016 6:53:36 AM   
sweetchoc100


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/31/2015
Status: offline 		Hello Mr Bhruic; You are spot on. Many of the so called submissive men are indeed timewasters and nasties who indeed have only the selfish aspiration to use the dialogue of a well-intentioned female as a "wank fest".

I have experienced that a number of times and many of the so-called Submissive men are in fact very very aggressive to the point of psychotically aggressive when they don't have their own way i.e when their silly games are not indulged i.t to waste the time of genuine female seeking something real. I have experianced receipt of the most horrendous abuse and insults from a so-called submissive male simply because I advised him that if I was to dialogue with him I need to see his image. From initial contact he insisted I phone him immediately so he can hear my voice and no doubt wank to it etc. Of course I refused hence I received a tirade of abuse and hassling by this person using his multiple sock accounts etc. I have reported the matter to the CS management anyway. It's a shame such things go on cos it deters genuine people seeking something and eventually they give up. I've been here a bit less than a year. I can't see myself staying here too long and I'm prepared to leave at some point than continue to be subjected to nastiness simply cos I prefer to use discernment with identifying someone compatible for me and simply cos I wont engage in time-wasting activity. etc.

I attend the occasional munch in London UK and I'm content in myself though it would be nice to link with someone but I would personally find being here for years and years with the nastiness unsatisfactory lol :)

Cheers and have a lovely rest of the week Mr Bhruic and everyone that has good intentions towards their fellow humans etc . :)

< Message edited by sweetchoc100 -- 8/31/2016 6:58:18 AM >

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/31/2016 8:40:18 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		TheReadingPuppy & MsLadySue I agree with pretty much everything both of you said.

TheReadingPuppy the bulk of the profiles you speak ill of are created by men and scammers. You can chose to be more selective in who you email – sometimes I cannot help myself mailing many of these fakes and scammers.. There is basically no-one for me to mail. And it is my personal belief <10% of the profiles are credible – but bear in mind the bulk of that 90% are created by man.

I have no advice for you to find a genuine Mistress – as you say the bulk of the genuine ones are married, or require cash. After that almost nothing remains.

Competing for these maidens fair are 100s, perhaps 1000s of guys. Of these guys some 60% are married and attached – I am not getting involved in the finer points of what is genuine or fake – the dictionary is clear.

Findooms, the legitimate ones I believe most to be no better than a parasite or scammers. But there are some good ones, well a couple, who invest their time on here and not for business or cash. But they should be more sympathetic to your plight.

I see fet – now bear in mind that was started because of what you are saying - has switched to telephone verification system. That will curtail the more prolific scammers however it will not curtail the more prolific liars and fibbers and these make up the bulk of any website. Fabswingers, perhaps that is the second busiest site in the UK (you will meet no women there – or the odds are <0.01% - by no means impossible in comparison to this place -yet that place has a verified by photo and the ability to block all non verified hot models and scamming rascals)

But, look I am taking you at your word, something I don’t always do with profiles lacking words and pictures, you leave here that’s one less genuine person.
I am typicaly on the 2-4 sites, I am not mentioning their names as I have done previously – I have found it virtually impossible to meet a genuine women. I am far from perfect, but I am simply not that bad.

So I am typically on 2 fetish sites and 2 mainstream dating ones and my profile is exactly the same

Solutions:
1. Site requires a logical progression of what they are doing to improve the place.
2. Blatant fake profiles must be removed and the scammers. A fake or scammer or non verified entity should not be allowed to report another – pof allows that you know…and here too but I do not think that report button works as MsLadySue said I/her many others gave up on it long ago
3. The site requires a verification system starting with a legitimate email
4. It also required to add in a variable of verified – and the ability to block all non verified people. You will find when this happens the credible verified and user base numbers grow. And the garbage will be left to wallow with their own garbage.

(in reply to sweetchoc100)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 8/31/2016 2:29:46 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistermaid

The problem is that sub men outnumber Dominant women by a good 259 to 1, so the Dominants can be picky. Add to that the fact that probably 90% of the Dominants are Pro's of one flavour or another and you'll realize the chances of you meeting a genuine real life Dominant female are pretty low. Also most Domme's aren't Dominant in their vanilla lives, very few want a live in slave, who would, think how exhausting it would be. I'm a sub but I'd never want to live it 24/7.

D/s is a fetish, an adult game and also a multi billion pound industry. You like the rest of us are very unlikely to ever meet a true life style Dominant, because they're as rare as rocking horse poo.


Maybe where you live.

Where I live, we have not one, but TWO lifestyle domme groups. Over 200 members attending one function or another in the past year, with maybe 10% also willing to do pro work, but all at events as lifestylers.

As far as 24/7, I have 24/7. I love it. Your idea of what that means an mine might be very different, and again, many of the established FemDom couples I know are 24/7.

When I travel, I reach out to people I know from being social on here and FetLife and find dominant women and submissive men (and all other types of kinksters) in the locations where I travel and teach. We are everywhere.

So, my thought is that if you haven't met one of us, either on here or in person, you're not trying hard enough.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheReadingPuppy

so many many many fakes. no genuine lifestyle Mistresses.


I think there are a fair number of genuine lifestyle Mistresses here. But the ratio of male subs to genuine Mistresses is very high, and competition is therefore high.

In a very competitive market, one must offer something of exceptional value to come out on top. The preponderance of male subs do not seem to realize this fact. Most offer nothing but their submission, as if it is some great gift, rather than the absolute default prerequisite for every single submissive.


Interestingly enough, there are more female submissives than genuine male dominants as well. Which female submissives bemoan quite regularly.

quote:

And to top is off... many treat the Mistresses they are talking to as if they are idiots who cannot tell that the whole transaction is just a wank fest for the sub, who often has no intention of following through on anything anyway.


This. Very much. I don't truck with this sort. Or those that whine. Or bitch. Or moan. Or complain.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to mistermaid)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/4/2016 12:06:47 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheReadingPuppy

Why are there no genuine Mistresses on this website?


There are plenty.


All i am seeing is fakes and scammers.


Because all you're looking at are fakes and scammers?

quote:


Why does everyone want tribute?


Not everyone does.

quote:



I have reported many profiles to collarspace, yet nothing has been done. This website is a waste of time!


Well... I suppose, if it's a waste of time you have two options. You could sod off and find another one although I'd be worried that you might find yourself having the same experience over and over.

Or, option 2 - You could have a think about what a "genuine" domme might be looking for. By way of a hint - many of them will be looking for a genuine relationship based on more than simply the mutual satisfaction of fetishes and kink lists.

A "genuine domme" is likely to take a peek at your profile. Take a fresh look at yours... I hope you don't mind if I say it's a little bit shit? I say this sincerely, mind you. Think about what you have of offer beyond being loyal and easy to teach... are you looking for something casual, or meaningful? A long term relationship leading to a life partnership?

Once you've dealt with the car-crash that is your profile, have a mull over some of the statistics.

Female profiles get deluged - There's a hoard of kinky, lust-filled sub-males out there, and it naturally attracts a number of scammers and players - But, if you read profiles carefully, and send intelligent, thoughtful, mails, you'll get a decent response rate.

There aren't 1000's of dommes here, there are relatively few, but the good news is that most sub males have profiles as shitty as the one you're currently using - All you need to do is make it marginally less shit, and you'll totally stand out.

None of this (getting together, dating, mating up) stuff is easy.... it takes effort and thought. If you put those two things in, your experience will improve. If you don't then you're destined to be disappointed wherever you go.

Good luck!

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to TheReadingPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/4/2016 12:09:16 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

LOL. Yeah, YOU probably would but that's 'cause you've got game.


OP, before I give you a ration of sh^t, I do have to tell you, that is the cutest dang puppy on your profile.

Now that I have that out of the way...

Are you willing to entertain, just the slightest possibility, that you might be going about this the wrong way?

There are several people on this thread, myself included, who aren't pro-dommes, fin dommes, or anything else. We don't session by the hour or any of that crap.life

However, for every one of us, there are a hundred of you. Let that sink in really, REALLY good. And, all of you are like the puppies in the box. "Pick me! Pick me!"

What you really have to do is stand out, rather than those other 99.

Every lifestyle fem-D that I know who is dating, has a reason she picked the guy who is in her life. You want to be that guy.




Attitude begats reality.

People attract what they put out.
Go into something with a predetermined defeatist mentality, they'll likely walk out defeated.
I want something, I make it happen. Determine what I need to do to actualize, then go out and do those fucking things.
Because a dream without feet attached is nothing but an illusion.

Laughs-I ain't a sub, but I can promise you that if I was, I wouldn't have trouble finding Dommes that wanted to top me!
Shit-I bet a few would line up for the opportunity to beat my ass



_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/4/2016 12:57:21 PM   
TheReadingPuppy


Posts: 31
Joined: 11/19/2015
Status: offline 		i will change my profile , i understand its a bit negative but thats only down to my experience of those ive interacted with in this site. What is it im supposed to write? im a very private person and dont like to put much of my private information on sites like this , but i am so very very genuine. i am looking for a partner , a relationship not just something casual.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/4/2016 1:07:55 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		OK, since you took my first one on the chin.

Start by being clear about what you want.

If you want something short term and kinky then - you know, you might want to consider paying...

If you want something long-term, then think about the things you bring to a relationship, and the things you would need in return in order for it to work for you.

Can you cook? Would your ideal partner be outdoorsey?

In other words - nail the "Nilla" side of the personals ad....

Read your profile from the perspective of the type of woman you want to appeal to...

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to TheReadingPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/4/2016 3:43:53 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

In other words - nail the "Nilla" side of the personals ad....

Read your profile from the perspective of the type of woman you want to appeal to...


Seconded.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/4/2016 5:54:05 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheReadingPuppy

i will change my profile , i understand its a bit negative but thats only down to my experience of those ive interacted with in this site. What is it im supposed to write? im a very private person and dont like to put much of my private information on sites like this , but i am so very very genuine. i am looking for a partner , a relationship not just something casual.



Look, you are not going to put your bank account information in your profile, you are going to list things you like to do, fishing, movies, cook, clean, go dancing, shop... that shit isn't personally identifiable information that indicates who you are, just what you like to do. Write what you want in a partner. Leave any mention of kink for last... dead last, if at all. If you think you have much to offer someone, you need to tell them about what you bring to the table. Forget the fakes and scammer mail and do what has been suggested to you.

Participate on the boards here too. There are a lot of folks that lurk here and never post, but they will look you up if you appear interesting.

Someone said on this thread, you cannot control the fakes and scammers, so focus on what you can control. How you present yourself is extremely important. Also, just so you don't come back ranting and raving... you may put your best foot forward and get no replies. If that happens, move on. The man to woman ratio is very high... but do not let that stop you. You may hit paydirt one of these days.

< Message edited by Gauge -- 9/4/2016 5:55:12 PM >

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to TheReadingPuppy)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/4/2016 7:19:52 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		One of the things that most people fail to realize is...the better the profile sounds, the more likely it is a fake or a scammer. People are drawn to those that make good reading or have unrealistically attractive photos...dead giveaway is that EVERYTHING they state is "exactly what you want". Real people have flaws, idiosyncrasies, problems. Pictures of gorgeous women who look like models or men who look like romance novel heroes...usually ARE (and, no, they don't just happen to be looking for true love online too).

Read through the profiles, ignore the ones that hit you on a visceral level and read between the lines. You may find that YOU are only expressing interest in the "perfect" women...and most likely they are not real.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/5/2016 3:44:58 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

You may find that YOU are only expressing interest in the "perfect" women...and most likely they are not real.

Snickers
Well that's simply because perfect and woman are mutually incompatible concepts, like army intelligence :-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: FAKES & SCAMMERS - 9/5/2016 4:56:27 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

One of the things that most people fail to realize is...the better the profile sounds, the more likely it is a fake or a scammer. People are drawn to those that make good reading or have unrealistically attractive photos...dead giveaway is that EVERYTHING they state is "exactly what you want". Real people have flaws, idiosyncrasies, problems. Pictures of gorgeous women who look like models or men who look like romance novel heroes...usually ARE (and, no, they don't just happen to be looking for true love online too).


That certainly describes the 'bait 'n' switcher' princess-domme type. They'll lead with a list of kinks - and they'll always be into doing in bed whatever you're into doing. I say 'lead' - very often *all* that's in their profiles is about how much they're into this or that kink. The remaining blurb, if there is any, will be designed to show how ultra-dominant they truly are. ('You will always address me as Princess/Queen/Your Ma'amship' etc.)

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 79
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