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RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 4:55:26 PM   
LilJuly76


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wasn't being rude, just pointing out like others have, that you can't really control how a thread turns out.

I'm in another country, my doctor works out of an excellent facility, where after the first visit, and questions about your private life and sexual life than they recommend that they will test you (depends if you are having sex or not) and because of universal heathcare it's free of charge. When I applied to get a decent doctor, I told her my lifestyle but I also told her I didn't have sex in my relationships, so that wasn't a factor for me to get tested for anything.

(in reply to Rush30)
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RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 4:57:03 PM   
LilJuly76


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right you are OsideGirl

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RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 5:51:31 PM   
catize


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Let's accept you are telling the truth about your spouse being OK with your extramarital fun. '
You need to realize that the 'other woman' gets the short end of the stick. Playtime will always be on your schedule, never hers. She can only call you when you say it's OK. She's not really a part of your life, she will be compartmentalized. What happens if your wife changes her mind?
It is a good chance the arrangement will turn into a train wreck.
Not many woman willing to put up with being second or on-the-side!

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(in reply to Rush30)
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RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 5:58:43 PM   
ThundersCry2U


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You really have to ask?

It seems like your really trying to sugar coat any risks associated with the type of std you have.

But hey...give it some time, I'm sure they will be lining up the street to *play* with you.

(in reply to Rush30)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 7:47:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
I sent a message to a women trying to start a conversation. She responded by saying she's not going to help a married man cheat on his wife.
I state clearly on my profile that my wife is aware of my activities on this site.

In my opinion, this will be a problem. Unless you are offering up an option to let the woman confirm this with your wife, more women than not won't believe you. The woman you contacted, what assurance does she have that your wife REALLY knows?

quote:

Does that mean that most women think I'm lying about my wife knowing?

Yes.

quote:

I've seen several profiles from married women who are not looking to leave their husbands and just want to have fun.
Is this just the difference between
married men and married women?

I would have to say yes. This comes from a poly woman who ALWAYS states unequivocally that my husband is my primary partner. That does take me out of the dating pool for some people. Others can accept it. As I am unsure about your situation, I will mention that this is not a don't ask don't tell thing on my end. Over the years, MP has met the majority of the people I play with, etc any time he is on the same continent. (There have been times that he's been deployed when that wasn't possible.) Most of the time, I boot up and show up with MP right there, so there is no confusion about the matter.

[quote}Even just to have fun, dont women want to play with married men?

More often than not, if you are just doing "fun," I wou
ld have to say no.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 9/2/2016 7:48:49 PM >


_____________________________

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RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 8:23:54 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


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quote:

Does that mean that most women think I'm lying about my wife knowing?

I don't know about most women, but I do.
quote:

Even just to have fun, dont women want to play with married men?

Again, speaking only for myself, I don't want to be some guy's bit on the side.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 8:25:39 PM   
HoneyBears


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From: Pennsylvania
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- FR -
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30

Even just to have fun, dont women want to play with married men?

That you would have to ask this question, is pretty amazing.

Don't [horny, kinky] women want to play [have sex] with married [herpetic, middle-aged] men [with basically nothing special to offer them, when they can easily find young, non-herpetic studly fuckbuddies to accommodate their sexual needs for the most part, practically any day of the week]?...

That would be a Hell No.

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RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 8:39:39 PM   
Greta75


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Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
Even just to have fun, dont women want to play with married men?

To me, if you are married, you are another woman's property. And I do not poach another woman's property.

It's as simple as that.

You may not view yourself as her property, but I do by the fact of your marriage contract to her.

Your wife has to personally tell me in person, that she wants me to play with you and it would make her very happy if I did, for me to want to play with you. She has to directly give me permission.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/2/2016 8:41:10 PM >

(in reply to Rush30)
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RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 9:17:34 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


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Joined: 9/12/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
Even just to have fun, dont women want to play with married men?

To me, if you are married, you are another woman's property. And I do not poach another woman's property.

It's as simple as that.

You may not view yourself as her property, but I do by the fact of your marriage contract to her.

Your wife has to personally tell me in person, that she wants me to play with you and it would make her very happy if I did, for me to want to play with you. She has to directly give me permission.



I second that.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 9:40:40 PM   
DaddySatyr


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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rush30
Even just to have fun, dont women want to play with married men?

To me, if you are married, you are another woman's property. And I do not poach another woman's property.

It's as simple as that.

You may not view yourself as her property, but I do by the fact of your marriage contract to her.

Your wife has to personally tell me in person, that she wants me to play with you and it would make her very happy if I did, for me to want to play with you. She has to directly give me permission.



I second that.



I don't know if this is a dominant/submissive issue or not, but I can guarantee that even though my ladies have given themselves to me, they are NOT indeed, my PROPERTY . Just about ANY man that made that statement in the context of marriage, today, would be slow roasted over the eternal flame of feminism.



Michael


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(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Married men - 9/2/2016 11:32:44 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
I don't know if this is a dominant/submissive issue or not, but I can guarantee that even though my ladies have given themselves to me, they are NOT indeed, my PROPERTY . Just about ANY man that made that statement in the context of marriage, today, would be slow roasted over the eternal flame of feminism.
Michael


DS, you live in the US. I live in the Asia. Where marriage is alot more possessive! You know in China, women who sleeps with other woman's husband still gets stripped and beaten up in public by their girlfriends.

As my mom would say, even if she beat up the woman who sleeps with her husband infront of a police, she would have commited no crime. There is no sympathy for women who sleep with married men.

All married people are property of each other. Chinese women are fierce about their husbands. Do not touch their husband and let them find out.

BTW, I say all this, but I believe in open relationships, and that is different. My husband would have my permission to sleep with others. And that is fine.

But it's about respect. When you sleep with another woman's man without her permission.

You are trespassing her property. He belongs to her like she belongs to him. They both have chosen to belong to each other.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/2/2016 11:40:47 PM >

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 8:02:56 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
Let's accept you are telling the truth about your spouse being OK with your extramarital fun. '
You need to realize that the 'other woman' gets the short end of the stick. Playtime will always be on your schedule, never hers. She can only call you when you say it's OK. She's not really a part of your life, she will be compartmentalized. What happens if your wife changes her mind?
It is a good chance the arrangement will turn into a train wreck.
Not many woman willing to put up with being second or on-the-side!

I wanted to add some thoughts to this and your post is the best way to do that.

What you are saying has a lot of merit. When a married and poly person such as myself dates a single person, that single person going into it already knows I'm only going to be a part time relationship. I'm not going to spend every weekend with them. I'm not always available at the drop of a hat. (Emergencies are different, of course.) The single person has to decide if what I bring to the table is enough, for lack of a better term.

This evens out a little bit if the person that I'm dating also happens to be married and poly. That makes me their secondary relationship, too. Not a big deal to someone like me because I already have a primary partner, so I don't care if I don't see the other person every week, etc. They have a life, I have a life, and time management works around that.

However, I'm much more in my comfort zone with poly people who have structured their agreements that are similar to my own. I'm actually not ok with people who have come to a 'don't ask, don't tell' agreement between themselves. Without that confirmation from the other person's spouse, I have no real way of knowing that is what's really going on or if it's a cheating situation. That potentially puts me in a bad situation and I'd rather not have that happen.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 9:24:00 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
Let's accept you are telling the truth about your spouse being OK with your extramarital fun. '
You need to realize that the 'other woman' gets the short end of the stick. Playtime will always be on your schedule, never hers. She can only call you when you say it's OK. She's not really a part of your life, she will be compartmentalized. What happens if your wife changes her mind?
It is a good chance the arrangement will turn into a train wreck.
Not many woman willing to put up with being second or on-the-side!

I wanted to add some thoughts to this and your post is the best way to do that.

What you are saying has a lot of merit. When a married and poly person such as myself dates a single person, that single person going into it already knows I'm only going to be a part time relationship. I'm not going to spend every weekend with them. I'm not always available at the drop of a hat. (Emergencies are different, of course.) The single person has to decide if what I bring to the table is enough, for lack of a better term.

This evens out a little bit if the person that I'm dating also happens to be married and poly. That makes me their secondary relationship, too. Not a big deal to someone like me because I already have a primary partner, so I don't care if I don't see the other person every week, etc. They have a life, I have a life, and time management works around that.

However, I'm much more in my comfort zone with poly people who have structured their agreements that are similar to my own. I'm actually not ok with people who have come to a 'don't ask, don't tell' agreement between themselves. Without that confirmation from the other person's spouse, I have no real way of knowing that is what's really going on or if it's a cheating situation. That potentially puts me in a bad situation and I'd rather not have that happen.




That's a lot of it right there. She never gets to have a full relationship. He will spend holidays and vacations with his wife. Everything will be done on his wife's schedule. He might be Dominant, but his wife is running his secondary relationship.

You add Herpes into that equation and the number just went way way way down.

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(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 9:32:23 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize
Let's accept you are telling the truth about your spouse being OK with your extramarital fun. '
You need to realize that the 'other woman' gets the short end of the stick. Playtime will always be on your schedule, never hers. She can only call you when you say it's OK. She's not really a part of your life, she will be compartmentalized. What happens if your wife changes her mind?
It is a good chance the arrangement will turn into a train wreck.
Not many woman willing to put up with being second or on-the-side!

I wanted to add some thoughts to this and your post is the best way to do that.

What you are saying has a lot of merit. When a married and poly person such as myself dates a single person, that single person going into it already knows I'm only going to be a part time relationship. I'm not going to spend every weekend with them. I'm not always available at the drop of a hat. (Emergencies are different, of course.) The single person has to decide if what I bring to the table is enough, for lack of a better term.

This evens out a little bit if the person that I'm dating also happens to be married and poly. That makes me their secondary relationship, too. Not a big deal to someone like me because I already have a primary partner, so I don't care if I don't see the other person every week, etc. They have a life, I have a life, and time management works around that.

However, I'm much more in my comfort zone with poly people who have structured their agreements that are similar to my own. I'm actually not ok with people who have come to a 'don't ask, don't tell' agreement between themselves. Without that confirmation from the other person's spouse, I have no real way of knowing that is what's really going on or if it's a cheating situation. That potentially puts me in a bad situation and I'd rather not have that happen.





I state on my profile and always have that I am married. I was involved in a poly with my ex sub and he had his wife. I was ok with it being a secondary relationship we had our lives, we had some hard times, we had some good times, But I didnt sleep with him, until he had met my husband and I had met his wife. That went on for years, but even now, my husband is the biggest part of my life, and he would be well aware of any future BDSM partner before it went to sex.
Not informing someone that part of the poly is cheating and riding bareback is definitely a damper on a relationship in my mind.


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(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 10:35:04 AM   
PeonForHer


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I was astonished to be told by a woman here, once, that the greater proportion (I think she might have even said 90%) of the men over forty (I think that was the age she gave) who are on meeting sites are married but lying about it. A few other women joined in to confirm that view. I've never checked into this figure - but, holy cow, even if it were 50% that would still be pretty shocking to me.

On the whole I think there's enough suspicion going around amongst women about men's true circumstances re their relationships for a man to have to expect to provide proof, Rush. Certainly, I'd expect that to run true with your claim that your wife is fine about your 'playing away'.

Maybe a photo of you both in your profile, with her holding a card saying 'Yes I'm fine with him doing this', or similar?

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 9/3/2016 10:37:27 AM >


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RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 10:42:03 AM   
LilJuly76


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Joined: 1/9/2016
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I would definitely suggest any submissives that meet up with "Dominants" that say they're married and the wife knows to make arrangements to talk to the wife face to face to make sure she knows and that he's not a cheating asshole.

With me it was a bit different, he went to the bathroom, his cell rang, I answered hit, when his wife put two and two together she made the comment "oh not again, I'm going to kill you for sleeping with my husband." he came back, I told him off and kicked him in the nuts because I couldn't reach his face to slap him a hard one.

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RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 12:13:19 PM   
WhoreMods


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If he wasn't "Dominant" his wife would be phoning a solicitor as soon as he started going on about this, I'd hope...

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 12:27:40 PM   
LilJuly76


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what do you mean by solicitor?

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RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 1:03:12 PM   
WhoreMods


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British for a lawyer.

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On the level and looking for a square deal.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Married men - 9/3/2016 1:11:50 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline
oh I have no clue, but he still is a player in the community. somehow he got a kinkster to bring him down to the club before it was closed and when she found out he was a player, she spread hate stuff over fet about him.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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