Racism? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid



Message

AlphaGeek -> Racism? (12/4/2004 9:45:55 AM)

One of the profiles that I keep getting presented with as I browse collarme mentions that the person is looking for partners of a specific race, but claims in the next paragraph to have no tolerance for racsim.

Websters says this about the word "racism":

1.The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.

2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

While I have no problem myself with inner-racial, inter-racial, extra-racial, or even hyper-racial relationships, (hell if you could prove that aliens were nice folks and are kinksters, go at it, and I just might too! Woohoo kinky UFO rides!) this profile strikes me as hypocritical because it excludes all but one race for selection and claims no tolerance for racism.

I'd love to hear other peoples thoughts here. Am I wonky, or does something just not add up? Is this an example of racism? Why or why not, in your opinion?

Thanks, folks!

The Geek, who gets confused when presented with seemingly contradictory data.



GoddessJules -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 9:59:28 AM)

I think it boils moreso down to personal preferences. I'm a black domina. There are probably men out there that are simply not attracted to darker skin for some reason. I have no problem with that. I'd be a hypocrite if I *did* have a problem with it. . .because I myself have a LONG list of preferences. Yes, I do get flack for my preferences. . .but I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to. . .and I do not think that any amount of rationalization will change that.

Just my two cents

Jules



AlphaGeek -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 10:17:14 AM)

GodessJules,

Thanks for the prompt reply!

I guess it's hard for me to determine where the line between preference ans exclusion is drawn. As with most things in life, I suspect that there is no one pat answer to an issue such as this, and I know that this could be a volatile topic, which I have no intent of making it. :)

Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject!

Anyone else??


A_G



perverseangelic -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 10:57:42 AM)

Mostly, I agree with GoddessJules that it is mostly just personal preference.

However, I've seen some profiles which state "If you are not asian/white/black/purple you will NOT be consider so please don't write."

Somehow, stating it that way as opposed to "I would prefer to be contacted by/to be in a relationship with a person of x race" makes it not cool with me.

Je ne sais pas.



Estring -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 12:16:36 PM)

I would bet that this person is going more by appearance than anything else. They may be attracted to blonde blue eyed women, or dark skinned dark haired women. They probably feel that a certain race would contain more of that "look", whatever it is.

Racism is an ugly word. I think when any perceived slight gets put in that category, it trivializes how horrible real racism is. I don't see this as being an instance of racism.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 5:04:45 PM)

Being sexually attracted to members of a certain race, and not attracted to members of others, doesn't make you a racist. That's preposterous. Look, I prefer older women. Does that make me an ageist?

Deciding that you don't want to go to bed with someone isn't the same thing as deciding that someone is an inferior human being who should be persecuted.

Lam



proudsub -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 5:09:04 PM)

I have a question which is appropriate here i think. My daughter, caucasian, has always been attracted to african american men. We have no problem with that. She is bringing her new b/f home for xmas this year and we haven't even asked what his race is. She says he's "the one", so we are anxious to meet him. My question is--is anyone here in an interracial marriage and if so what problems, if any, have arisen from it?



AlphaGeek -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 5:32:11 PM)

Lordandmaster, I think you missed that I was indicating that my confusion over the *second* definition that Websters proffered, "Descrimination or predjudice based on race". This discussion was *never* about the idiotic theory of racial superiority, nor do I wish for this conversation to move in that direction.

My intent was (and still is, if people can stay on topic) to have a conversation about preferences. When do they become exclusion or discrimination?

When people stop worrying about silly things like skin color, it'll be a grand day. Think we'll ever see it?


Thanks everyone for your input!!

A_G



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 5:39:53 PM)

Hey Alpha,
Interesting question, I don't think there's going to be a satisfactory answer, because people are complex, and we think what we think (as a result of our environment/experiences), and are turned on by different things...
I tend to like people in whom I've seen greater evidence of open minded thinking, and tend to avoid people with whom I''ve encountered ignorant/uncomfortable behavior... The poster may be racist or ethnocentric, but he/she would not admit to that, or explain why he finds some hot/some not.
My thinking is that racism exists, but it's not necessarily evident in our choice of who we sleep with; I don't hold it against anyone that he/she should prefer whatever he/she does, as each one's reason is personal, and I can't waste time wondering about that because finding the truth would probably be disappointing, but worse, a huge waste of my time/cares. My opinion....
Ms M



GoddessJules -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 7:05:50 PM)

I don't think that you can really draw that line. . .it's kinda like asking "What specific number of pieces of sand makes a pile?" I think race is one of the many, many varieable we have as *preferences* and our *preferences* ultimately decide who we will and will not find aesthetically palateable. If you didn't have *ANY* bias. . .we'd sleep with ANYONE (meaning regardless of size, race, ethinicity, educational level, income level. . .fill in the blank here) The fact is. . .we have a MULTITUDE of criteria. . .race is one aspect, sure.

I do feel where you are coming from though. . .and do kinda see the irony of what these people are proposing (the types of profiles you see.) But like what some of the other people have already said. . .I don't think that your "bedroom choice of ethinicity" has anything to do with someone being racist or prejudiced. There are plenty of blacks that find only a white person sexually attractive. . .that doesn't mean that they hate their OWN race because of their choice in sexual partners. (And of course I see the situation vice versa as well.)

Jules



happypervert -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 8:02:47 PM)

quote:

If you didn't have *ANY* bias. . .we'd sleep with ANYONE

or all you have to be is a guy, and if the testosterone isn't enough to make you, um, . . . "unbiased", just add a few beers.

And Proud asked if anyone was in interracial marriage -- well, I used to be in one. My ex is Japanese. I suppose there were some difficulties because of cultural differences, but racism against asians doesn't seem very common.

Then I've got a 1/2 sister who is maybe 14 years older than me -- I barely remember her because she was off to college when I was just a tyke. Anyway, she married a black guy and my ma had a BIG problem with it -- I don't think they've spoken in 40 years. I'm not sure if it is just something with folks in her generation and/or maybe she worried her snooty friends would have a problem with her because of it.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 9:40:20 PM)

There's a strange idea floating around that you have to consider everyone a possible sexual partner; otherwise you're closed-minded or bigoted or prejudiced. And I think that's asinine. You can respect people of all colors and creeds--you just don't have to shag'em all.

So, no, I don't think there's anything hypocritical about the profile you're talking about, and frankly I wonder why you're making such an issue out of it. The person in question is sexually attracted to a certain physical type, but also opposes racism. That's not a contradiction.

Lam

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaGeek

Lordandmaster, I think you missed that I was indicating that my confusion over the *second* definition that Websters proffered, "Descrimination or predjudice based on race". This discussion was *never* about the idiotic theory of racial superiority, nor do I wish for this conversation to move in that direction.

My intent was (and still is, if people can stay on topic) to have a conversation about preferences. When do they become exclusion or discrimination?

When people stop worrying about silly things like skin color, it'll be a grand day. Think we'll ever see it?


Thanks everyone for your input!!

A_G





EStrict -> RE: Racism? (12/4/2004 10:54:39 PM)

Honestly, what *I* see it saying is them trying to explain it is not because they are racist (IE considerthemselves superior/inferior to the race they are seeking depending on if they are dominant or submissive).

This is no different than saying *height/weight proportional* , *30-45*, *over 6'* or any other qualify factors people put in profiles.



AlphaGeek -> RE: Racism? (12/5/2004 8:07:39 AM)

GoddessJules, I really like the sandpile analogy. That works! BTW, I love the Eartha Kitt look. :)

Lordandmaster, again, I think you miss the point. To quote myself back on post #8: "My intent was (and still is, if people can stay on topic) to have a conversation about preferences. When do they become exclusion or discrimination? "

Happypervert, LOL! I agree that guys are generally less selective, especially under certain conditions... "Hey, I have standards, but I do occasionally lower them considerably when I drink. " LOL

BlkTallFullfig, thanks for your input as well! I agree, there won't be one pat answer, but by continuing the dialog, a better grasp of the concept may be gotten. :) As for wasting time on idle conversation... We're all guilty of that here, aren't we? I know that I am! *chuckle*

Thanks folks, this continues to be interesting. It's fun to try and figure out how peoples heads work, isn't it? :-)

A_G



jillwfsub4blkdom -> RE: Racism? (12/5/2004 10:29:26 AM)

Proud,
i was in an interracial marriage with a black man and my parents were bigots. If you want any information, please email me.

jill



proudsub -> RE: Racism? (12/5/2004 12:22:20 PM)

quote:

Proud,
i was in an interracial marriage with a black man and my parents were bigots. If you want any information, please email me.


Thank you jill, i will remeber that if he is indeed black and "the one".



Lordandmaster -> RE: Racism? (12/5/2004 5:30:48 PM)

Your original question was this (I'm quoting from your own post):

quote:

I'd love to hear other peoples thoughts here. Am I wonky, or does something just not add up? Is this an example of racism? Why or why not, in your opinion?


And my answer is no, it's not an example of racism. What point did I miss? The title of your thread is "Racism?" It's not "At what point do preferences become exclusion or discrimination?" Besides, I answered your second question. Just because you're not attracted to certain people doesn't mean you discriminate against them. You're not obliged to fuck everyone under the sun just to prove that you don't discriminate. AlphaGeek, you're really not being very clear about what you're trying to say.

Lam

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlphaGeek

Lordandmaster, again, I think you miss the point. To quote myself back on post #8: "My intent was (and still is, if people can stay on topic) to have a conversation about preferences. When do they become exclusion or discrimination? "



AlphaGeek -> RE: Racism? (12/5/2004 6:40:00 PM)

Ok Lordandmaster, thank you for your thoughts and input on this discussion.

A_G



MistressDREAD -> RE: Racism? (12/8/2004 2:12:00 AM)

quote:

The Geek, who gets confused when presented with seemingly contradictory data.


If this ad was in the ordinary vanilla world it would raise up the same issue that you present here Geek. HOWEVER because We are a group that visits the OUTSIDE thread of societys desires AND ills many kinks deal with subject matter that is questionable by normal societys standards. Tolerance is the key issue here and accepting others * kinks and desires for a certain something is clue here. Knowing first hand the racist card and how it is played and also knowing and partisapating in race play with those whom get their jollys off of such a thing, My experiance has been that it is purely a personal preferance to a spacific look that is desired and does not nessisarly mean the person desiring it is in any way racist just like a preferance to a slave over a submissive. BUT there are racists out there whom DO practice and preditor Our area of lifestyle and it is up to those whom are into this play from both ends to determine just whom is what with in this strange and extream kink. I think the person whom posted this in their profile is letting those with in Our group know that He or She is NOT one of thos preditors and simply is into this kink.JMO



MistressDREAD -> RE: Racism? (12/8/2004 2:27:11 AM)

prou sub I have only one answer to you on your question

If you love your daughter, you will love whom she loves.

If a problem were to arise about others not liking sumthing your daughter does would you not come to her side and rescue regardless what the situation is?
Think of it in those terms and if any problem arises about the relationship take the stance that you would if it were just your daughter facing such a problem because if she feels that he is the one then they WILL become one and treat them as such proud.
As two sides whom make up the whole to become one, the ONE that you will love unconditionally.

I am of Mixed blood and know first hand what trials any mixed relationship has and bares but there is just one thing that over comes any and all negitivity in the world towards it and thats unconditional Love.

If your daughter is saying that this person is the one and if they are of any other race then her then I am sure that she has allready overcome the situations that have you worried, so dont be. JMO



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125