venusdiva429
Posts: 44
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
quote:
ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou
I find it extremely hard to conceptualize a person that would reject a whole race or races as unsuitable partners based only on skin color not having some racist tendencies.
There's two options:
1) As you say above, dig beneath the post and there's a person who believes an ethnic group does not match the standards of his/her own ethnic group
or
2) The poster is not attracted to another group in the same way he/she is not attracted to older women based on physical appearance.
Who knows what's going through the mind of such individuals. Closing doors - definitely, racist - probably but not necessarily. Regardless, closing doors based on ethnicity is not exactly covering himself in glory IMO - it smacks of a closed mind.
OK...in my profile, I have it listed that I only wish to date interracially, and that I prefer Caucasian men (I'm Black). I've dropped the Caucasian reference because I've already had two people ask me why I had that preference. Well, it's because I've had some pretty bad incidences with Black men, and don't wish to date MOST of them at this juncture. Notice that I said prefer, not only.
Now, according to your stated conclusions above, this means that I have racist tendencies?!? Wow. Okay. I just thought that I had a thing for blonds, and that I just have a certain preference right now in my life. I also say that I like a muscular body type. This doesn't mean I'm hating on guys that aren't svelte; I just have a bigger chance of not being attracted to you as a sexual/romantic partner.
Racism and bigotry are incredibly loaded terms, and they're labels that I feel are too commonly used to classify people's actions. In most cases, especially on a dating site, it just means that there may be a preference for aesthetic qualities that are exclusive to a certain culture. Unless someone has the number 88 (or something similar) in their handle along with other questionable things, it's probably not a bigot.
The best way to know is to simply ask. Honestly. Don't sit there and guess. If you're that drawn to the person, reach out and say something. Then again, someone who would judge me without asking probably assumes I'm self-loathing or something.
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RE: Racism? - 
Profile
) but it may just be a personal preference totally devoid of any racism/bigotry. I could probably probe deeper and ask a general question like how much of our personal preferences when choosing a mate are generated or influenced by popular media... 
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