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ORIGINAL: reticence

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ORIGINAL: enthralled

What does the word punishment mean to you?

I even hate the word.  Punishment for me can be anything that communicates to me that I have displeased my dominant.  It can be a look, a shrug of the shoulders, a case of him doing something himself, that I should have done.  Never is play construed as punishment, play is play...

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As a submissive, how does being having to be punished make you feel?

It makes me feel horrible, there is no worse punishment for me than being displeasing.  I try to correct my behavior as quickly as I can. 
I don't need to be beaten to feel better about what I did.  I can apologize and ask for forgiveness.  And I try very hard to not do whatever it was, again.  For me, it is all about peacefulness and tranquility.  My place in his life is to provide as much of that as I can, not to be a punishment seeking drama queen.  That is just me, I know others have different opinions, and if it works for them, fine with me.

(side note) woo hoo, it looks like I have conquered the mighty quote beast  (beaming)

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

I find it interesting, if not amusing, that so many so strongly associate punishment with physical punishment that they can't seem to see beyond that to anything else.  I also find it interesting, if not a little disturbing, that some associate punishment with some form of physical abuse.  As I said before, punishment comes in many forms, and in some cases the most effective will not be physical.  For example, if a slave misbehaves I might simply remove a privilege they had previously earned (negative punishment, ie the removal of a reinforcer as punishment).  Or I might require them to write a five page essay on what they did wrong and why they will not do it again (postive punishment, the application of an aversive stimuli as punishment).  If the slave fails to properly put away my laundry, I may have them repeatedly take out all the laundry, refold it and replace it until they do so perfectly (also positive punishment).  These are all forms of punishment, and nothing I have mentioned involves anyone being beaten, none of it involves cruelty or malicousness.  Contrary to what some insist, punishment does work and can be an effective tool when used properly.

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After reading on another thread, I was wondering what YOUR ideas are on the word punishment? 
What does the word punishment mean to you?

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

I find it interesting, if not amusing, that so many so strongly associate punishment with physical punishment that they can't seem to see beyond that to anything else.  I also find it interesting, if not a little disturbing, that some associate punishment with some form of physical abuse.

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As I said before, punishment comes in many forms, and in some cases the most effective will not be physical.

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 For example, if a slave misbehaves I might simply remove a privilege they had previously earned (negative punishment, ie the removal of a reinforcer as punishment).  Or I might require them to write a five page essay on what they did wrong and why they will not do it again (postive punishment, the application of an aversive stimuli as punishment).  If the slave fails to properly put away my laundry, I may have them repeatedly take out all the laundry, refold it and replace it until they do so perfectly (also positive punishment).  These are all forms of punishment, and nothing I have mentioned involves anyone being beaten, none of it involves cruelty or malicousness.  Contrary to what some insist, punishment does work and can be an effective tool when used properly.

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ORIGINAL: Taylore

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After reading on another thread, I was wondering what YOUR ideas are on the word punishment? 
What does the word punishment mean to you?

Punishment takes on many forms. For myself, personally, punishment is the disappointment in his eyes and voice, being made to sit and discuss the reasons why I failed to accomplish something that he requested of me. Punishment is knowing that his faith in me has slipped just a bit; it is guilt that eats away at me because I brought this upon myself.
There is no greater punishment than knowing that I have failed.

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ORIGINAL: cheshireboy

i try to stay away from punishment as much as i can but there are times when i will go after it if it is for the better of the relationship....or the person
 
example:  about to watch a movie and forgot to bring both pillows, She says she doesn't want one, because you thought about yourself only and not her,  if she has no pillow then she her back will hurt and get no sleep at night.  therefore you go get the pillow knowing full well you may get punished, but it is better to take the punishment than to have Her not sleep at night. 
 
cheshire
"if it was only just a smile"

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ORIGINAL: sharainks

One interesting thing about this thread is how seldom any of the submissives on here seem to feel that physical punishment is needed to correct behavior.  Even more surprising was how many take a negative view of it.  I don't remember seeing anyone post that it was cathartic for them, or that they had to be punished to feel forgiven.

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In response to Padriag it does seem that quite a few subs seem to connect "physical punishment" with abuse.  I know that when I was still willing to accept physical punishment it felt abusive to me.  I think often the idea of the pain levels often described as  more severe in punishment takes it to that point.  For me instinct took over and triggered the flight or fight response.  It suddenly seemed that the dominant was out of control and all I wanted was as far away from him as I could get. Thats not exactly relationship building on either end of the equation.

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ORIGINAL: agirl

It may very well seem a slightly weird way of carrying on...but that's the way it is.

Regards, agirl

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ORIGINAL: agirl

 It's a *cause and effect* and it does modify.

If I had to fold the damn laundry a trillion times.....you can BET your sweet life that I'm going to try NOT to have to do THAT again.

agirl

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Sounds a lot like me...punishment fits the crime, it comes after the discipline, it doesn't have to be physical, it can and does work in an adult relationship.  High five to you, Padriag...I was beginning to wonder if I was stating it in an unclear manner.

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ORIGINAL: sharainks

In response to Padriag it does seem that quite a few subs seem to connect "physical punishment" with abuse.  I know that when I was still willing to accept physical punishment it felt abusive to me.  I think often the idea of the pain levels often described as  more severe in punishment takes it to that point.  For me instinct took over and triggered the flight or fight response.  It suddenly seemed that the dominant was out of control and all I wanted was as far away from him as I could get. Thats not exactly relationship building on either end of the equation.

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ORIGINAL: Padriag

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ORIGINAL: sharainks

In response to Padriag it does seem that quite a few subs seem to connect "physical punishment" with abuse.  I know that when I was still willing to accept physical punishment it felt abusive to me.  I think often the idea of the pain levels often described as  more severe in punishment takes it to that point.  For me instinct took over and triggered the flight or fight response.  It suddenly seemed that the dominant was out of control and all I wanted was as far away from him as I could get. Thats not exactly relationship building on either end of the equation.

In reading your reply I found myself wondering... why the severe pain levels?  And that raises another point that I think causes the negative reactions, going to extremes.  There are those who believe that in order to punish, one must go to some extremity, use extreme levels of pain.  But that's generally not effective punishment and to me it sounds more like someone who is either acting out of anger, or someone who simply doesn't know how to punish effectively.  Knowing how to punish effectively means knowing the submissive in question, knowing some of what they respond to and also understanding the situation... in short, punishing effectively means the person administering the punishment has to stop and think, not simply whip out a belt and react.  The laundry example I gave is a good example of effective punishment.  It is a case of the punishment fitting the crime (or more importantly the punishment is directly associated with the behavior being punished), it does not go to an extreme (having to repeat the task 1 to 3 times should be sufficient), it is an immediate consequence, and it does affect the behavior to be corrected.

Some submissives simply can't handle physical punishment, perhaps because of childhood trauma or even things that happened as an adult.  Again, this is where its necessary to know the submissive in question and how they respond.  In those cases there are other forms of punishment that can be used.