RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much?

RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (Full Version)

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ownedgirlie -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/23/2006 8:01:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I just hope everyone understands that there are different modes of aftercare, and it doesn't have to be warm and fuzzy and touchy-feely. The same mode of aftercare isn't right for everyone. In total agreement here. Thank you for pointing that out. Mine is generally not the warm fuzzies. Additionally, there have been circumstances when no immediate after care at all was possible. I have been taught to recover on my own when necessary, and if I have struggled, we can talk about it later.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/23/2006 8:03:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I just hope everyone understands that there are different modes of aftercare, and it doesn't have to be warm and fuzzy and touchy-feely. The same mode of aftercare isn't right for everyone. Exactly My thoughts. And want to add there doesnt always have to be aftercare.Sometimes its more of a get grounded thing,which for Mine is just sitting doing relaxed breathing. ~chuckles~ I think we were posting at the same time...saying close to the same thing.

Nalta -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/23/2006 8:29:08 PM)
though I'm a bit new to this whole thing, I would have a very very very hard time withholding after care. in fact, I could not think of a time in which I would want to.

Focus50 -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 2:46:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSerendipity quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Aftercare is subjective and relevant to what's brought on the need for it. I like administering aftercare, it allows it's own unique closeness with my girl.... I never deliberately withold it nor do I make light of whether it's needed or not. Focus. Focus, So you discuss the needs and ways of it with your girl? Of course - like LA said; everyone is different. Sub-drop especially hits different subs in different ways and at different times. I have my own needs regarding it, too, as I enjoy quiet time together afterwards - usually the next day.... Focus.

littleone35 -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 9:56:02 AM)
I need the warm and fuzzy "touchy-feely" after care i need to be snuggled close wrapped tightly in his arms. mmmm makes me feel so good. Matt's littleone

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 11:15:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I just hope everyone understands that there are different modes of aftercare, and it doesn't have to be warm and fuzzy and touchy-feely. The same mode of aftercare isn't right for everyone. Exactly My thoughts. And want to add there doesnt always have to be aftercare.Sometimes its more of a get grounded thing,which for Mine is just sitting doing relaxed breathing. ~chuckles~ I think we were posting at the same time...saying close to the same thing. Its the Great Minds think alike syndrome...LOL

ownedgirlie -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 7:57:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 Its the Great Minds think alike syndrome...LOL ~Grins~ Indeed :)

SweetSerendipity -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 8:10:29 PM)
If I correctly understand what I was told...Sadists don't do aftercare and Masochists don't need it? It may have been intended to be a situation only to that person, but I would love to hear from some S & M players out there to get their thoughts? Blessed BE

mnottertail -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 8:14:12 PM)
No rest for the wicked; and the righteous don't need any. Selah, Ron

DominaRava -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 8:26:25 PM)
quote: If I correctly understand what I was told...Sadists don't do aftercare and Masochists don't need it? It may have been intended to be a situation only to that person, but I would love to hear from some S & M players out there to get their thoughts? 'taint necessarily so. (jumping right in here) Sadistic or not, sometimes things just have to be taken care of. Even a true masochist needs wounds and/or abrasions cared for afterwards. Yes, aftercare. When in a pure Sadistic frame of mind, I do remember: ..."If you break your toys, you don't have them to play with later." That isn't to say the sting of alcohol on a scrape and the flinch that may go with it isn't enjoyed, but this too is aftercare. It depends on the person, as in all facets of all things. here's my nickel, too bad it's wooden

PlayfulOne -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 9:04:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSerendipity If I correctly understand what I was told...Sadists don't do aftercare and Masochists don't need it? It may have been intended to be a situation only to that person, but I would love to hear from some S & M players out there to get their thoughts? Blessed BE Sadist or not when things are over I take care of what is mine. She responsds to things differently so I just pay attention to her and gauge what is needed from there. How much? As much as she needs. K

SexyRed -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/24/2006 9:19:12 PM)
As I read this, I am very sad when I realize that I never really got aftercare from my ex, and that was some of the most intense scenes I have ever experienced. Now I know why I am not with him now, but it still hurts to think about it. He always said the same thing afterwards, what is the problem, you loved it, you came. I long for the day when I meet a true Dom who knows the value of afterare after intensity.

dincubus -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/25/2006 7:42:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSerendipity Dear Masters and Mistresses, I have a question on aftercare. I have no doubt that there are many threads in the archives, but I would like your personal responses, as everyone may have different thoughts. When do you find it most important to provide aftercare for your submissive? How do you know when it is enough? Is there a time when you would deliberately withhold it...after punishment or during training? Thank you in advance for your time and attention. I personally offer aftercare, if it is talking, snuggling or cuddling after every scene that we do. It is something that i find is definately needed no matter how intense the scene may be. It is just how i am

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/25/2006 8:43:35 AM)
many times when scening I will offer after care . sometimes I will give the slave time to come down or float down from her space and regain herself then talk with her about her experience ... I do this alot during training as well ..... so she understands what happened and why ... discipline time is different . if she is being disciplined she will be left for a period of time to reflect on what got her in the situation she is in . then talking is done ...... there are times where I after a strong session will hold her close andlet her know how well she did and thatshe is appreciated for doing it .. like LaM said everything is different and notalways the warm fuzzies ..... and if the way your after care is givin then you need to speak with your Dom about it . if it isn't what you want maybe you should just be friends with him/her

afeathr -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/25/2006 9:50:08 AM)
Aftercare is subjective. Sir uses several different types with me, and I know that what we do is as much for Him as for me. After punishment, I don't get cuddled. He grabs me by the back of the head and instills his rule to me again. Then, it's over. I am good with that because it's punishment. After a scene, we cuddle, talk, fantasize, discuss... it depends on what came of the scening and how I responded and how He wanted me to respond. We do not scene everytime we have sex so, that's a different mode as well... it's all subjective to the situation. I would not, however, recommend withholding aftercare that is expected since that becomes part of what many subs look forward to with their Dom/Master. If it's withheld, I could see how it would be perceived as a serious punishment that might create friction. I can't imagine that anyone would want to bring that about intentionally from their sub, especially if she has been a 'good girl.' Mixed signals are a sure way to create problems for many subs, especially if the communication factor is not at it's utmost.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/25/2006 11:48:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetSerendipity If I correctly understand what I was told...Sadists don't do aftercare and Masochists don't need it? It may have been intended to be a situation only to that person, but I would love to hear from some S & M players out there to get their thoughts? Blessed BE Sometimes after some extreme spanking /whipping some soft touches and comments that reassure can be a great way to lengthen a scene. While they enjoy the pain,some need to know that are pleasing Misstress/Master.

MIslostsoul -> RE: Aftercare - when to offer it and how much? (7/25/2006 1:19:41 PM)
I have been in play groups where if more than one girl is owned then one of the other girls may be the one supplying aftercare. I am bi so on a few occasions having that soft body there is better for me than it being him. But also that was his call to make.

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