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Dear Masters and Mistresses,

I have a question on aftercare. I have no doubt that there are many threads in the archives, but I would like your personal responses, as everyone may have different thoughts. When do you find it most important to provide aftercare for your submissive? How do you know when it is enough? Is there a time when you would deliberately withhold it...after punishment or during training? Thank you in advance for your time and attention.

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Conversely, I would never engage in either punishment or physical play without aftercare.  First, she needs it.  It is a natural ending and re-entry into our "real worlds".  Second, I need it!  The gentling down of my girl after a scene, especially if (as often happens) we've crossed into new or "forbidden" territory, is as much a necessity for her as it is for Me.  Perhaps some of the same who posted as the "new mode" of Dominant are not able to admit this, and I'll be perceived as weak, but aftercare is not only for My girl, but for Me, too. 

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ORIGINAL: stanton

hello SweetS.

When I top aftercare after play, especially more the heavy kind- I like to hold her, stroke her hair, give a kiss and let her know she is a good girl and I care.

Punishment? I'd reassure her I was htere for her, but she needs to learn to behave. I try and make my orders clear. I keep an open ear, listen if I was unclear or she misunderstood. She is responsible for her actions and reactions, but I keep it together if she is willing to learn and grow. A good slave is hard to find and I work at it if she does.
Good question, TY.
Stan 

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ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

quote:

Dear Masters and Mistresses,

I have a question on aftercare. I have no doubt that there are many threads in the archives, but I would like your personal responses, as everyone may have different thoughts. When do you find it most important to provide aftercare for your submissive? How do you know when it is enough? Is there a time when you would deliberately withhold it...after punishment or during training? Thank you in advance for your time and attention.

Well, in keeping with some of the ridiculous "I'm a DOM and I'll spout off on my manly philosophy" threads that have popped up recently, I'll say "I NEVER DO AFTERCARE.  If she has emotional baggage that's her problem, and I don't need to deal with all of her shit!"

***FLAMING ASSHOLE MODE OFF, DEAD and BURIED***

Now, for real, Sweet (and all):

I would never withhold aftercare.  That implies that I've been scening with her while I'm angry, and confusing punishment and regular behavior.  I never, ever use scene play (flogging, spanking, sexual play) when I'm angry at my girl, or when there is an issue to resolve.  It is far too volatile to confuse play with punishment. 

Conversely, I would never engage in either punishment or physical play without aftercare.  First, she needs it.  It is a natural ending and re-entry into our "real worlds".  Second, I need it!  The gentling down of my girl after a scene, especially if (as often happens) we've crossed into new or "forbidden" territory, is as much a necessity for her as it is for Me.  Perhaps some of the same who posted as the "new mode" of Dominant are not able to admit this, and I'll be perceived as weak, but aftercare is not only for My girl, but for Me, too.

--E.

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ORIGINAL: Focus50

Aftercare is subjective and relevant to what's brought on the need for it.  I like administering aftercare, it allows it's own unique closeness with my girl....  I never deliberately withold it nor do I make light of whether it's needed or not.
 
Focus.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I just hope everyone understands that there are different modes of aftercare, and it doesn't have to be warm and fuzzy and touchy-feely.  The same mode of aftercare isn't right for everyone.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I just hope everyone understands that there are different modes of aftercare, and it doesn't have to be warm and fuzzy and touchy-feely.  The same mode of aftercare isn't right for everyone.