RE: What am I?

RE: What am I? (Full Version)

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MariaB -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 8:45:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 If he was 'the right husband', you'd be playing with him instead of looking elsewhere for your fun. Wow, this is sinking low even for you [8\|] quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta What does sexual orientation have to do with D/s orientation? Maybe in your world there is no sexual orientation within a D/s relationship but that's only your world. quote: ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent Sure it makes sense but you are giving a hell of a lot of people power over you. Both ohthat1percent and Bita Truble talk a lot of sense. I don't know 1percent apart from reading a few very good posts from her but I can tell you now that BitaTruble is a long term well respected member of these forums who is known for giving unbias advice. quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl I need your seasoned, sage opinions and advice. You really did come to the wrong place. [:D] So here you are with various people telling you you’re not submissive or at least they can't see any submission in you and it bothers you. You allow people to insult you, make accusations about you and you submit to their supposed better knowledge. Some people who have added to this thread should know better, others have just been handing out the same old shite for years and have never been able to give an impartial view. Maybe its something to do with their own self importance but one things for sure, if you hang out with a patronizing 'one up-man-ship' crowd for too long you will get little out of this lifestyle and you may even end up like them (telling anyone who will listen that they are doing it all wrong).

Chaska -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 8:49:35 AM)
Creature of 1D existence in a state of fog.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 9:41:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chaska Creature of 1D existence in a state of fog. Sounds exotic

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 9:43:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhoreMods Nobody's asked: "animal vegetable or mineral" yet? Slipping, people... I know the scientific names of beings animalculous: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 9:45:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 If he was 'the right husband', you'd be playing with him instead of looking elsewhere for your fun. Wow, this is sinking low even for you [8\|] quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta What does sexual orientation have to do with D/s orientation? Maybe in your world there is no sexual orientation within a D/s relationship but that's only your world. quote: ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent Sure it makes sense but you are giving a hell of a lot of people power over you. Both ohthat1percent and Bita Truble talk a lot of sense. I don't know 1percent apart from reading a few very good posts from her but I can tell you now that BitaTruble is a long term well respected member of these forums who is known for giving unbias advice. quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl I need your seasoned, sage opinions and advice. You really did come to the wrong place. [:D] So here you are with various people telling you you’re not submissive or at least they can't see any submission in you and it bothers you. You allow people to insult you, make accusations about you and you submit to their supposed better knowledge. Some people who have added to this thread should know better, others have just been handing out the same old shite for years and have never been able to give an impartial view. Maybe its something to do with their own self importance but one things for sure, if you hang out with a patronizing 'one up-man-ship' crowd for too long you will get little out of this lifestyle and you may even end up like them (telling anyone who will listen that they are doing it all wrong). Thank you Maria. That helped more than you can know.

Greta75 -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 9:55:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta being submissive (adjective) is accepting the situation when you are not happy with it. quote: You're confusing Dominant with Sadist. I'm both, so I think I speak with some authority when I say it's not the same thing and it comes from different places. I am not confusing dominant with sadist. According to you, if submission is accepting a situation you are not happy with. Then the only way to be submissive is to find someone who keeps putting you in situation you are not happy with then. If it's according to this. Because you said it's impossible to be submissive and have a dominant who never makes you do anything you are not happy with. And my point is, that it is totally possible to have a dominant who only makes you do things you are happy to do, BECAUSE, you found one you can TRUST to make good decisions, so all his decisions are gold. Which is my point about so many dominants wanting their submissive to do things they are not happy with! For the dominants to feel happy! What's wrong with them? It's not just a sadist thing. So for example, if my x-husband was dominant, because we practically think the same way, and always reach the same conclusions. We are twins in thoughts. He would never consider me his submissive, BECAUSE it's impossible for me to disagree with him on anything. Because it's just impossible. We agree on EVERYTHING! So why does dominance has to be about making the sub do things she's not happy with? Why can't it just be harmony and insync? Ying and Yang by nature. Nothing he ask her to do is terrible. So all is good. And everything he ask her to do is what he enjoys. He is not intentionally asking her to do things that she likes. He and her happen to just like all the same things. So to me, that's compatibility. For example, if a dominant loves orgasm denial, and a sub loves orgasm denial. Perfect match! But then what usually happens is, the dominant probably ends up feeling less joy in orgasm denying because his sub is enjoying what he enjoys doing to her too much lol. He might need to find someone who hates it instead. That's the whole crazy thing.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 10:11:39 AM)
That's exactly a sadist thing Greta. And it's not always about decision making either - that's another facet of D/s. There are many meanings for submission. But the ones that affect the governance of a person usually means: the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. Synonyms: yielding, capitulation, agreement, acceptance, consent, accession, compliance. You'll note that not all synonyms are defined as 'willingly' or with pleasure; some are against natural will (capitulation, accession). Sadists do things for their own pleasure, usually with disregard for their subjects. Submissives do things for the pleasure of their /D because they enjoy doing that and at the expense of their own pleasure at times (but not exclusively). A subtle difference - but there is one.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 10:20:25 AM)
quote: Submissives do things for the pleasure of their /D because they enjoy doing that and at the expense of their own pleasure at times (but not exclusively). Not all of them

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 10:24:26 AM)
Notice I said '...at times', not always [:D] But I would think that holds true for most subs in most situations altho most subs like being in a pleasant/willing scenario and most D's (the responsible and thoughtful ones) wouldn't ask their subs to do things they don't like - at least most of the time.

LadyPact -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 10:30:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 If he was 'the right husband', you'd be playing with him instead of looking elsewhere for your fun. Wow, this is sinking low even for you [8\|] I didn't catch this the first time around. In my opinion, the idea of "if he was the 'right husband,' you'd be playing with him instead is emphatically not true. Not everybody is so focused on BDSM or even D/s that it must be incorporated in their primary partner. If that is a necessity for someone... OK. Go you! At the same time, please understand that it isn't the same for everyone. People have asked me for years 'don't I wish that MP was a sub' or 'wouldn't it be better if MP enjoyed bottoming'? Hell no. Heck, if I gave up kink (again) today, my greatest disappointment would be in having one heck of a toy sale. quote: quote: ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent Sure it makes sense but you are giving a hell of a lot of people power over you. Both ohthat1percent and Bita Truble talk a lot of sense. I don't know 1percent apart from reading a few very good posts from her but I can tell you now that BitaTruble is a long term well respected member of these forums who is known for giving unbias advice. Oh, for crying out loud. Asking for opinions isn't especially "giving other people power". The OP asked for input to help her formulate her own thoughts on the matter. Every statement doesn't have to be peppered with "for me" every other line for people to understand they are contributing from their own perspective. quote: quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl I need your seasoned, sage opinions and advice. You really did come to the wrong place. [:D] So here you are with various people telling you you’re not submissive or at least they can't see any submission in you and it bothers you. You allow people to insult you, make accusations about you and you submit to their supposed better knowledge. Some people who have added to this thread should know better, others have just been handing out the same old shite for years and have never been able to give an impartial view. Maybe its something to do with their own self importance but one things for sure, if you hang out with a patronizing 'one up-man-ship' crowd for too long you will get little out of this lifestyle and you may even end up like them (telling anyone who will listen that they are doing it all wrong). For f^ck's sake... With my apologies to the OP, no, FOR ME, the OP would not be a good match as a submissive. For me, I don't do clingy well and I don't do needy well. I most certainly DO NOT do well with folks on the other side of the slash attempting to interfere in my other relationships, and I really have only so much tolerance for "acting out". TO ME, that is not submission. This is probably why I don't match well with littles or those that want the equivalent of D/lg dynamics. It's great that other people have found their bliss in them, but it's not FOR ME. Geez, folks.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 10:34:47 AM)
Good points LP. My comment didn't necessarily come from a kink direction. Everyone aspires to finding their 'perfect' partner. From that perspective, if they were 'perfect', you wouldn't need to be looking elsewhere for anything - kink or 'nilla.

Alecta -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 10:52:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 I am not confusing dominant with sadist. According to you, if submission is accepting a situation you are not happy with. Then the only way to be submissive is to find someone who keeps putting you in situation you are not happy with then. Submission, is demonstrated in defining moments, it doesn't have to be constant. But yes. That's exactly my point. If you're just allowing a situation because it works for you and not giving in to one that you are not otherwise ok with, you're just coasting and not submitting. Not to say that's wrong per say, just that it isn't submitting. quote: that it is totally possible to have a dominant who only makes you do things you are happy to do, BECAUSE, you found one you can TRUST to make good decisions, so all his decisions are gold. I agree, but in this situation you are not being a submissive, you have simply found a companion whose decisions you trust (until the point you don't). quote: Which is my point about so many dominants wanting their submissive to do things they are not happy with! For the dominants to feel happy! What's wrong with them? It's not just a sadist thing. You are confusing Dominants with Sadism right there. Being happy because you've forced someone to do something they don't like, that's sadism. Being Dominant is being in charge. Being the one who has the responsibility of the last, and lasting, word. Dominants are happy when things go according to their wishes. Sadists are happy when other people suffer according to their wishes. Different. quote: Why can't it just be harmony and insync? Ying and Yang by nature. Nothing he ask her to do is terrible. So all is good. And everything he ask her to do is what he enjoys. He is not intentionally asking her to do things that she likes. He and her happen to just like all the same things. So to me, that's compatibility. And that stops being D/s, and just becomes indulging in kinks in an otherwise "normal", "equal", relationship.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 10:54:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Good points LP. My comment didn't necessarily come from a kink direction. Everyone aspires to finding their 'perfect' partner. From that perspective, if they were 'perfect', you wouldn't need to be looking elsewhere for anything - kink or 'nilla. And? Your point is? Nobody is perfect and nobody can be everything to somebody. Hence why I'm poly.

Greta75 -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 11:04:32 AM)
quote: Dominants are happy when things go according to their wishes. If this is all they need, then why say a submissive is not submissive just because she happens to think the same as him and AGREE with all his wishes, naturally. So it boils down to, dominants actually NEED to find subs who does not think the same as them. So that they can force the sub to do things they don't agree with. That just seems ridiculous.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 11:09:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: Dominants are happy when things go according to their wishes. If this is all they need, then why say a submissive is not submissive just because she happens to think the same as him and AGREE with all his wishes, naturally. So it boils down to, dominants actually NEED to find subs who does not think the same as them. So that they can force the sub to do things they don't agree with. That just seems ridiculous. No Greta. Those are the sadists, not a dominant. You are not understanding the difference.

ohthat1percent -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 11:16:45 AM)
Lady Pact - you seriously need to chill instead of commenting on something that was taken out of the context of the WHOLE: "Sure it makes sense but you are giving a hell of a lot of people power over you. Who are all these people you are talking about? If they aren't people who know you personally and understand all this. Then ---- stop talking to strangers about your relationships and who you are. People many times are idiots and make determinations without all the information as they listen to one side of the situation. " THIS is the whole statement I made and it was made in response to the OP complaining what other people are saying about who she is blah blah blah. IF you are INCAPABLE of not allowing what people say about who you are to negatively affect you then YOU SHOULDN'T BE ON HERE ASKING PEOPLE FOR OPINIONS ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. Good grief, this whole post was started because she couldn't take and it made her cry what people were saying negatively to her because they said she wasn't this or should be that. Then she comes online to strangers asking for opinions about what the fuck she is. Sorry but here's your sign. The fact is -- if you can't take what you claim people you know and are friends or acquaintances tell you about what you are etc -- how the hell are you going to be able to deal with strangers taking very LITTLE FACTS and telling you what you are and are not. To me, someone like this is either looking for the negative attention or validation of what she things -- the former just makes her a masochist and the rest of the people feeding that her unwilling sadists or its the latter, in which she needs to learn how to validate herself. Sorry but if you can't handle the negative comments -- DON'T ASK STRANGERS FOR OPINIONS ON AN ONLINE MESSAGE BOARD -- it really IS that simple. Lady Pact, you should know better than to respond to things taken out of context.

Alecta -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 11:41:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 If this is all they need, then why say a submissive is not submissive just because she happens to think the same as him and AGREE with all his wishes, naturally. So it boils down to, dominants actually NEED to find subs who does not think the same as them. So that they can force the sub to do things they don't agree with. That just seems ridiculous. Submitting is giving in unconditionally. A submissive (id) is not being submissive (action) when she just happens to agree with all her partner's wishes. She is only being submissive(action) when she subverts her own will to give in unconditionally to another decision. A submissive(id) can have a relationship in which she is not being submissive(action). A person who does not submit(action) is not a submissive(id). Boiling it down to Dominants NEEDING subs who don't think the same, or that Dominants need subs at all, is a fallacy, so of course it's ridiculous. Dominants are not the stark opposites of submissives. Dominants can be perfectly happy in "vanilla" relationships where things go their way without confrontation. This is part of the reason, I suspect, that there are so few "real" Dominants on the market, so to speak.

LadyPact -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 11:57:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ohthat1percent Lady Pact - you seriously need to chill instead of commenting on something that was taken out of the context of the WHOLE: "Sure it makes sense but you are giving a hell of a lot of people power over you. Who are all these people you are talking about? If they aren't people who know you personally and understand all this. Then ---- stop talking to strangers about your relationships and who you are. People many times are idiots and make determinations without all the information as they listen to one side of the situation. " What makes you think I'm upset? When we deal with message boards and the like, we get a glimpse of the situation. We only have so much to work with. I couldn't say if the OP is in a position to have people who "know" her advise her. Considering that she's in a DADT primary relationship, that's going to cut her off in a lot of ways. Depending on her local community,, she may not have access to those of us who manage poly in different ways. Just for info, I'm wayyyyy more likely to side with the Dominant and/or primary partner because that is my perspective. [:D] quote: THIS is the whole statement I made and it was made in response to the OP complaining what other people are saying about who she is blah blah blah. IF you are INCAPABLE of not allowing what people say about who you are to negatively affect you then YOU SHOULDN'T BE ON HERE ASKING PEOPLE FOR OPINIONS ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. Why not? Those opinions, even those that are personally disliked, are all a part of the process. Let's say I'm an entire dick. (Go ahead. It will be easy for you.) The fact that I happen to be one of the D-types that says, "I wouldn't put up with your shit," still has value in what the OP is formulating FOR HER. Those opinions help HER in knowing where she fits in her own description of HERSELF. Maybe she's only ready for a certain level of submission. Maybe she's only ready for this and not that. How does she know if she only gets the opinions that she LIKES? quote: Good grief, this whole post was started because she couldn't take and it made her cry what people were saying negatively to her because they said she wasn't this or should be that. Then she comes online to strangers asking for opinions about what the fuck she is. Sorry but here's your sign. Here's yours. If she were interacting with me, I would not say the OP is ready to ACTUALLY submit. Go find me the post that even hints at submission. quote: The fact is -- if you can't take what you claim people you know and are friends or acquaintances tell you about what you are etc -- how the hell are you going to be able to deal with strangers taking very LITTLE FACTS and telling you what you are and are not. To me, someone like this is either looking for the negative attention or validation of what she things -- the former just makes her a masochist and the rest of the people feeding that her unwilling sadists or its the latter, in which she needs to learn how to validate herself. I agree with some of this. The OP does tend to epitomize the theory of "any attention, even negative attention, is good attention. She's filling the void that so-called "Daddy" doesn't fill. That's exactly why I say she would benefit from some self-work. quote: Sorry but if you can't handle the negative comments -- DON'T ASK STRANGERS FOR OPINIONS ON AN ONLINE MESSAGE BOARD -- it really IS that simple. This, I do agree with. Not because I don't think dissenting opinions are valuable, but if she can't hack it or it changes her world, again, maybe she's not ready. quote: Lady Pact, you should know better than to respond to things taken out of context. Good luck telling me how I have to respond, or not, according to your liking. Have a wonderful day.

WhoreMods -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 12:05:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl quote: ORIGINAL: WhoreMods Nobody's asked: "animal vegetable or mineral" yet? Slipping, people... I know the scientific names of beings animalculous: In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. I was thinking more of the question "what am I?" and the game of twenty questions than Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado (I think that one's from there?) if I'm honest.

Chaska -> RE: What am I? (10/9/2016 12:12:37 PM)
Do not ask the 1D mentality to define who you are. Go to the 3D world find and define yourself, have I not told you this before.

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