quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Scorpio, I think Paul Simon wrote a song about that woman's situation.
"Get on the bus, Gus!"
"Get a new plan, Stan!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

~ Fast Reply ~

Julia, interesting thread.  I think those who speak ill of "emotional masochism" are equating such an experience with those with a "victim" mindset.  Example, "Ohhhh poor me, Master hasn't paid attention to me all week." followed by tears, whinings, and other types of drama. 

I don't call myself an emotional masochist; I don't tend to label myself things, but...perhaps this example may provide clarification (it is similar to what BeingChewsie said):  There is something about knowing Master is Master and will contact me when, how or if he chooses and that is that, which is a comfort to me.  It feeds my submissiveness.  When Master does (or doesn't do) or says things that "hurt," it is very place-putting.  When I miss him it is agonizing, and yet to suffer like that makes me feel alive.  It reminds me of my place with him, and of my need for him, and of my love to him. To feel such "hurt" reminds me of my devotion to him, in that it will not change my service to him in any way.

For example, just the other night, Master woke up and said some things to me that could otherwise be considered quite cruel.  From him they are not cruel to me, but none-the-less I was pained a bit by what he was saying and how.  Such pain made me feel very small, such that I curled up at his feet and groveled to them, loving and adoring them and knowing my place to receive such a talking to out of the blue if it eased him.  The funny thing was, in the morning I teased him, asking if he had a bad dream because he was so "mean" (calling it mean was tongue in cheek).  He smiled at me and said he didn't remember it - must have done it in his sleep, but was pleased I was not upset.

For some of us, suffering for our Masters makes us feel as small as a hard flogging does to others.  I don't call it a kink so much as just part of what makes us who we are.

I'm glad you asked the question, Julia.  Very thought-provoking.

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ORIGINAL: SCORPIOXXX

To julia and all...

Here is what I call "emotional masochism"... I recently e-mailed back and forth with a CMe sub who is in this situation...She has been seeing a nilla man for the past 3 years; he is Hindu and because of that and cultural differences he won't bring her to meet his family, leaves her in the car when he visits his veged out dad in the nursing home (a block away, in case relatives also drop by!), but gives her bling and passes her off as "fiancee" at office parties and social functions; only recently, at her request, he used a bit of the belt on her, but making it clear his heart just wasn't in it... For 3 years she has put up with this bs (the worst being too embarrassed to bring her to meet the family because she is not Hindu)... Now: THAT's what I call emotional masochism... what do you think?

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ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

Hi owned:),

You explained this so much better than I was able too. I'm not a victim, I do not have a victim mentality. I don't create drama. You will never hear me *woe is me* ing over my owner's lifestyle. I love how he lives his life and I -love- that sometimes it *hurts* me and reminds me of who and what I am in -his- eyes. I just do.