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Rumtiger -> RE: Tigers Bored (7/31/2006 5:41:14 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Gauge
Dear Tiger:
I am writing because I am really in a serious quandary and I am not sure how to proceed. I walked into my bank today and I forgot that I was wearing my 'This is a Stick Up' T-shirt. It didn't help that I was in full camouflage and had an ammo belt with grenades and my AK-47 strapped on. Everyone reacted with utter shock to me. I went up to the teller to make my deposit and she hands me bags of cash. When I tried to give them back she pleaded that I wouldn't shoot her. She was so insistent that I took the money... she was obviously upset about something and I didn't want to compound things by refusing her generosity. I went over to the bank manager and I asked him where the safe deposit boxes were and he threw a ring of keys at me and pointed down a hallway. I guess it must be a self service bank. My problem is as follows: Everyone that I talk to screams, sobs or begs me not to shoot them. Also, I had to go to the grocery store and when I went to leave there were a bunch of policemen outside and they were all pointing guns at me and telling me to give up. Tiger... my hygiene is pretty good. I bathe every day and use nice smelling soaps etc. I also brush and floss regularly. Is it poor grooming habits that are causing people to spontaneously crumble into quivering masses of flesh before me or is it my personality? Could it be something else that I am not thinking of?
Signed: Ordinary Guy
PS. What is a SWAT team?
Dear Hygenically challanged
I happened to have this very same problem myself, every day whenever I took my usual evening run with my knife on my back, black face paint on and my typical black jogging outfit people ussualy steered clear of me, particularly young attractive woman who where alone on the street, not to mention when I was innocently using some people's fences as hurdles for practice.
I found my solution was to check for hygiene problems that werent necessarily my fault, such as stomach problems which cause unnaturally bad breath, or somethign as simple as washing your shoes and replacing the soles with some oder eaters. My suggestion to you would be to check that all these things are upkept, and if that dosent work, rememebr to brush your tounge, after all that is where 90% of all bad breath comes from, amazingly most people seem to forget to clean it.
Keep it clean,
Tiger.
P.S. A SWAT team is a group of pro exterminators whose specialty is small flying insects, hence swat, something must have really been attracting quite a few flys if you found them at your location.
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