RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes

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Wayward5oul -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 11:33:24 AM)
quote: You have seen me in this forum for ages. My principle is. I don't attack anybody who does not attack me. I stick to subject. I don't do personal attacks. I am kind to those who are kind to me. Agreed. You rarely do personal attacks. You handle most disagreements far more gracefully than a lot of people on this forum. Props to you for that. quote: But those that are nasty and vicious, I will attack back. To me. I have every right to shame him as he started it first. If he simply said, our moral values are not compatible instead of using derogatory words on me. There would have been no issue. OK, let me clarify. In shaming him, your wording began to go beyond him and to people in general, shaming people in general who come onto sites like this yet still expect to find something monogamous. That's where my beef is. I agree that he shamed you and if he had done the same to me I would have skewered him. But as you went on, your statements went from 'him' to 'people', and you made several absolute statements about 'people'. Unnecessary and incorrect ones.

Wayward5oul -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 11:42:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness The problem here Greta is that the people replying to you don't like you. It's kind of the way it works here. If you were one of them, they'd die a thousand deaths defending your right to slut around like a common harlot. AND they'd castigate any man who dared to suggest you were a slut. Not true. I have seen more than one person here defend Greta in other threads, myself included. Many of us disagree with her A LOT. But we are still willing to discuss/argue with her because she will continue to engage in debate. She is not one of those who regularly makes personal attacks with any and all posters because of their own personal insecurities, as some here are wont to do. quote: The level of intellectual honesty in this place is pretty fucking low. It's about personalities, not positions. The sooner you recognise that, the sooner you can stop considering their responses as anything other than an expression of their dislike for you. Greta hasn't said anything to indicate that she considers anyone's responses to be an expression of dislike for her. You are the one projecting that onto her. There's your intellectual dishonesty.

Wayward5oul -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 11:51:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick quote: He got upset and called me a slut lol. Well he was technically correct. He was not technically correct. I do not identify as a slut or acknowledge that word of any description of myself. Especially when I do thorough vetting on carefully getting sexual compatibility correct before I sleep with anybody. My goal is always sexual compatibility. Men use the stupid word for anything just to oppress women from enjoying sex or even dressing in a way where it shows skin. And I have never and DO NOT support the usage of this derogatory word for women who have sex for pleasure. Greta, aside from the man in the OP, I don't think that anyone here is using the word 'slut' in a derogatory manner. Yes, men do it all the time as a way to oppress women, but because of that a lot of women, especially in the kink community, have re-appropriated the word in a sex-positive manner. My interpretation here is that the women are trying to say that being called a slut isn't a bad thing. Me personally, that's the way that I feel and it doesn't bother me when people use it, in that context. BUT, not everyone is that way and I do think that you have the right to say that you are not one of those people, and that you prefer not to be called that.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 12:33:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 But this where your problem is. How is a woman who have more than one chosen partner be considered "Spread her legs to ANY MAN?" Do you realise how stringent my quality control is ? Quality control has no bearing on the word 'slut'. quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 But I am a woman, our choices are wide and many. This means, for every 100 men I vet, I choose one that makes the cut that actually ends up in bed, to test drive if the sex works. And I keep around 3 to 5 regular fuck buddies to keep my sex life going. These buddies often last an average of 2 years each that we continuously see each other. Sometimes sex works, but outside bedroom does not work. So they become fuck buddies. This is pretty much the definition (one of them) for "slut". quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 And the reality also is that, NO WOMAN would fuck just any man!! ZERO! All women only choose to fuck men they feel attraction to. I know quite a few who don't give a rat's ass - they just wanna fuck from anyone. So this statement is untrue. quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 But everybody HAS CONDITIONS and nobody fucks just anybody! Ummm... there are many that do just that. Slut (definition): a woman who has many casual sexual partners. Also: a woman who has sexual relationships with a lot of men without any emotional involvement So your definition of choosing a sex partner is exactly the definition of a "slut". Note that the only qualification is "many" or "a lot", not any sort of 'quality control'. From the thread title: Dominants that are sexual prudes Prude (definition): a person who is easily shocked by rude things, especially those of a sexual type I didn't see anything in what you posted that shows the guy being particularly or easily shocked. So he's not a prude. Sorry to burst your little bubble. Your definitions of things don't match the real world or dictionary definitions. Perhaps you need to learn a little more ingrish?? [8\|]

PeonForHer -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 12:44:10 PM)
quote: Just brush it off. We've ALL had letters from closet weirdos at some point. That's my feeling, too - just having glanced at the thread so far, that is ....

PeonForHer -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 12:50:46 PM)
And, on a deeper level: We're involved in kink, here. We must expect people to have every kind of oddity imaginable about them ... god knows, quite a few that are unimaginable, too. People will tend to square their kink with their personal sense of morality; in order to do that, their sense of morality is probably going to get 'modified', shall we say, in an unusual way, too. Whatever. The assumption for me would be 'That person isn't odd in the same way as I am' ... and then I'd move on. I would hope.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 1:40:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Greta75 He was not technically correct. Yes he was, look up the word quote: I do not identify as a slut or acknowledge that word of any description of myself. Doesn't matter what you identify or acknowledge, the word has a meaning. quote: Especially when I do thorough vetting on carefully getting sexual compatibility correct before I sleep with anybody. My goal is always sexual compatibility. Completely irrelevant, again, look up the meaning of the word. quote: Men use the stupid word for anything just to oppress women from enjoying sex or even dressing in a way where it shows skin. Completely irrelevant, again, look up the meaning of the word. quote: And I have never and DO NOT support the usage of this derogatory word for women who have sex for pleasure. Completely irrelevant, again, look up the meaning of the word.

Wayward5oul -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 2:02:51 PM)
There are a lot of words in the English language that are actual words with a definition, but are deemed offensive and are recognized as such. So to come on here, and repeatedly use a word that is widely recognized as sexist and offensive, and continue to use that word against another poster, is deplorable. There is a particular word starting with an 'n' that is in the dictionary, yet if it were used on these forums everyone would be up in arms. Yet it is okay to come on here and hammer Greta with this one when she has already indicated that it is hurtful?

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 2:16:44 PM)
You will note I said the guy was technically correct.

PeonForHer -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 2:37:30 PM)
quote: How is a woman who have more than one chosen partner be considered "Spread her legs to ANY MAN?" Do you realise how stringent my quality control is? I agree. It makes no sense. People have their own nutty views on things. Honestly, Greta - this person's opinion of you should mean sod all. Move on!

PeonForHer -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 2:41:45 PM)
quote: There is a particular word starting with an 'n' that is in the dictionary, yet if it were used on these forums everyone would be up in arms. They would, sure, if it were to happen. Not at all hypothetical and jesus the grief I've seen them cause in the past are the words 'prostitute' and (worse) 'whore' in relation particularly to findoms. Lordy would those arguments rage. I don't have a damned thing against prostitutes. But, hey, the word has the power to cut - so I'll avoid using it. Why step on people's corns?

ohthat1percent -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 5:10:55 PM)
I haven't read all the responses or all the responses of the OP. While I think the way he worded his thoughts are rude and silly, I don't think he is being sexually prudish. To me, people who state -- D/s or BDSM isn't always about sex tend to be the sexually prudish ones. However, he sounds like he is monogamy prudish, and doesn't like the idea of a woman being what is considered promiscuous behavior. He doesn't take issue with sex but instead the amount of sex your journal portrays you have with different men. as was stated, he didn't say you have too much sex history but dick history. In this day and age, I think many people both men and women shy away from too many partners idea and many see it as not being responsible. In other words, you are living your sex life like a man lol in their minds. All in all, you can't blame a man who doesn't want the left overs of many many men - its a double standard lol but it still exists today.

OsideGirl -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/26/2016 5:14:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer The assumption for me would be 'That person isn't odd in the same way as I am' ... and then I'd move on. I would hope. Exactly.

bondageerone -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/27/2016 3:11:58 AM)
GRETA YOU REALLY ARE A SAD DUDE.

longwayhome -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/27/2016 6:31:46 AM)
It sounds as if the guy used the word "slut" in a pejorative sense. Also rejecting someone so firmly when they haven't even communicated to you is a bit over the top. For that reason alone it's a "shrug shoulders and move on" situation. He's probably a bit of a knob. He obviously didn't read your profile properly and contacted you before rowing backwards pretty quickly when he realised that you weren't compatible. All bad stuff and socially awkward if you are being generous or hurtful and offensive if you aren't. On the other hand he did compliment you on being smart and honest and said you would make "great friend to hang with". And there isn't however any sign in what you quoted that he judges women differently to men. He may want someone with fewer previous partners than you, but there is nothing there to suggest that he has had lots of partners, or that he hasn't done lots of very kinky shagging with the partner(s) he has had. Rude, yes, sexist, perhaps (depending on the feeling behind the "s" word), but no real evidence of him being a prude or a hypocrite.

OsideGirl -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/27/2016 8:33:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: longwayhome Rude, yes, sexist, perhaps (depending on the feeling behind the "s" word), but no real evidence of him being a prude or a hypocrite. That was my take on it, as well.

Awareness -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/27/2016 9:50:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul Not true. I have seen more than one person here defend Greta in other threads, myself included. Many of us disagree with her A LOT. But we are still willing to discuss/argue with her because she will continue to engage in debate. She is not one of those who regularly makes personal attacks with any and all posters because of their own personal insecurities, as some here are wont to do. No, she's someone who regularly comes under personal attack by many of the regulars. Mainly because her opinions don't fall into that narrow range defined by communal approval. quote: Greta hasn't said anything to indicate that she considers anyone's responses to be an expression of dislike for her. You are the one projecting that onto her. There's your intellectual dishonesty. Nah. People here are inconsistent. Their message and delivery is tailored to whether or not the poster fits into their clique. I can see that. Christ, anyone with a bit of honesty should be able to admit as much.

Awareness -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/27/2016 9:51:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bondageerone GRETA YOU REALLY ARE A SAD DUDE. LOOK WHO'S TALKING, DUDE!

tamaka -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/27/2016 3:39:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Awareness quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul Not true. I have seen more than one person here defend Greta in other threads, myself included. Many of us disagree with her A LOT. But we are still willing to discuss/argue with her because she will continue to engage in debate. She is not one of those who regularly makes personal attacks with any and all posters because of their own personal insecurities, as some here are wont to do. No, she's someone who regularly comes under personal attack by many of the regulars. Mainly because her opinions don't fall into that narrow range defined by communal approval. quote: Greta hasn't said anything to indicate that she considers anyone's responses to be an expression of dislike for her. You are the one projecting that onto her. There's your intellectual dishonesty. Nah. People here are inconsistent. Their message and delivery is tailored to whether or not the poster fits into their clique. I can see that. Christ, anyone with a bit of honesty should be able to admit as much. Lol... cliques on a message board!!! Too funny.

DomStrictMale -> RE: Dominants that are sexual prudes (10/27/2016 11:29:13 PM)
Selective is not prudish.

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