RE: why the hate for other people's kinks?

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (Full Version)

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UllrsIshtar -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 5:21:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. I usually require that the submissive send $500 to my paypal account and that's good for one month. $100 a week is really cheap considering that many Pro-Dommes will charge $400 for just one session. ProDommes stipulate what the client is getting for that $400. How much of her time, what type of play, what she'll wear, etc. ProDommes also do not 'punish' clients for skipping a session a month, or insist that they're on a regular subscription schedule. What kind of stipulations do you guarantee your clients will receive in exchange for that $500 a month? How much of your time does that include? What if they're not in the mood for talking about X this month, but want to talk about Y instead? What if a client decides he does not want to pay you this month, but wants to do so again next month, does he incur 'penalties'? Do your clients have the option to decide month to month whether to engage with you or not, or do you insist on a subscription basis? Basically: how transparent are you about the services you offer in exchange for the money you demand? You completely misunderstand. I don't have to do anything. It is his pleasure and honor to pay tribute to a Queen. Every week I will spend $100 of his money on whatever I want. I will then write him an email and let him know how happy he has made me. Many want chastity so I will give him permission to have a "release" after I spend the money. It is his honor and privilege to serve me. I allow this. This is my gift to him. So what you offer your clients in return for $500 a month is an email? Is this an email per week, or one per month?

MaryMaryProDom -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 5:34:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar So what you offer your clients in return for $500 a month is an email? Is this an email per week, or one per month? As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. You have to remember that it's his honor and pleasure to do this. I allow it and this is my gift to him. It is our kink.

Diffident -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 5:52:57 PM)
I visit a Pro-Domme. I originally thought that it would be a one off to tick a few things off my bucket list, but the session turned out to be almost totally different, and definitely miles better, than what I had been expecting. It was simultaneously the most relaxing and the most fun thing that I had done in ages. I emailed her to book a second session for a few weeks later once I had got home and had time to process what had happened. After the second session I asked if I could come back the following week as I had a day off then. She very politely said that that would not be a good idea, but that I could text her the day before if I still wanted to come. I didn't text her the following week; she was right about it being too soon. Just as Ishtar has said: There was never any ambiguity from her side about what she was offering, what she was most definitely not offering, what she was expecting from me, or of the inherent limitations of a Professional relationship. She told me early on that anyone who she knows socially, however casually, is automatically barred from ever becoming a client. Apparently a few people in her favourite pub have asked and been told where to go. I really do find the idea of a fin-domme (or cyber-domme) being even remotely comparable to a Pro-Domme to be quite absurd, frankly.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 6:16:59 PM)
You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 6:20:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. Yeah.... what she said.

Wayward5oul -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 6:24:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. Yeah.... what she said. Yeah, this just drive home most of the stupid stereotypes of findommes.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 6:34:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. Yeah.... what she said. Yeah, this just drive home most of the stupid stereotypes of findommes. Though, I supposed if you're a self-entitled, pretty, spoiled brat fresh out of high school, I imagine having to actually DO something for the first time in your life in response to being given attention may seem like it's a lot of work and takes self-discipline? Maybe? I mean, I do always picture these girls being the 'cheerleader/popular girl' in high school, never having a struggle or a care in the world, thinking that high school will last forever after they land themselves a rich husband in community college, or move to Hollywood to become a famous actress/singer... only to turn to Finducking the moment it finally dawns on them that they're going to be stuck in the same death end Denny's waitress job forever, and nobody gives a fuck anymore that they know how to throw a pompom or that they used to be prom queen. Maybe having to write a 'thank you letter' does take a lot of self-discipline for her, and it's a hard earned skill she only recently acquired.

Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 6:49:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar So what you offer your clients in return for $500 a month is an email? Is this an email per week, or one per month? As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. You have to remember that it's his honor and pleasure to do this. I allow it and this is my gift to him. It is our kink. You do you. But honestly that doesn't sound kinky at all, it frankly sounds boring.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 6:53:16 PM)
quote: But honestly that doesn't sound kinky at all, it frankly sounds boring. It does to me as well, but hey, apparently it works for some people.

MaryMaryProDom -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 10:16:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. To answer your question, it takes a lot of self-discipline and maturity to be a FinDomme. Do you know how difficult it is to just withdraw $100 a week? When I first started I would withdraw the whole amount. I would then ask the submissive to deposit more. And if he didn't - I didn't want anymore to do with him. That was very immature of me and I lacked self-discipline. But now I've learned and I have self-discipline. You try it - it's not as easy as it sounds.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 10:22:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. To answer your question, it takes a lot of self-discipline and maturity to be a FinDomme. Do you know how difficult it is to just withdraw $100 a week? When I first started I would withdraw the whole amount. I would then ask the submissive to deposit more. And if he didn't - I didn't want anymore to do with him. That was very immature of me and I lacked self-discipline. But now I've learned and I have self-discipline. You try it - it's not as easy as it sounds. Yeah... most people learn in kindergarten that when another kid has cookies, and you ask for a cookie, and he says you can have 1, it's not nice to take all his cookies instead. By elementary school they usually actually have learned the self-discipline it takes to not take all of the kid's cookies even when they're not worried about the teacher finding out. I'm sorry that you're so far behind, but "keeping true to your word, and agreements you've made with people" actually doesn't take all that much self-discipline at all... for adults that is...

MaryMaryProDom -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 10:40:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. To answer your question, it takes a lot of self-discipline and maturity to be a FinDomme. Do you know how difficult it is to just withdraw $100 a week? When I first started I would withdraw the whole amount. I would then ask the submissive to deposit more. And if he didn't - I didn't want anymore to do with him. That was very immature of me and I lacked self-discipline. But now I've learned and I have self-discipline. You try it - it's not as easy as it sounds. Yeah... most people learn in kindergarten that when another kid has cookies, and you ask for a cookie, and he says you can have 1, it's not nice to take all his cookies instead. By elementary school they usually actually have learned the self-discipline it takes to not take all of the kid's cookies even when they're not worried about the teacher finding out. I'm sorry that you're so far behind, but "keeping true to your word, and agreements you've made with people" actually doesn't take all that much self-discipline at all.[/color].. for adults that is... Then how come all these submissive males are getting burned by Dominant women?

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 10:41:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. To answer your question, it takes a lot of self-discipline and maturity to be a FinDomme. Do you know how difficult it is to just withdraw $100 a week? When I first started I would withdraw the whole amount. I would then ask the submissive to deposit more. And if he didn't - I didn't want anymore to do with him. That was very immature of me and I lacked self-discipline. But now I've learned and I have self-discipline. You try it - it's not as easy as it sounds. Oh bullshit. i have lived on a fucking budget since I was a teenager, it's not hard at all.

sovereignsays -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 11:13:36 PM)
Women aren't supposed to want; we're supposed to provide. An ear to vent frustrations, a shoulder to cry on, and flesh to fuck. We're supposed to be chefs, super moms, and therapists. Our labor isn't labor at all; its nature. A woman expressing needs is weak and a woman expressing wants is selfish and wrong. Especially if the thing you want or need is money. Men are perpetually dancing in and out of women's inboxes lying about everything. Their names, ages, capabilities, marital statuses, experiences, and more. And yet, the women who attempt to or insist upon capitalizing on their interactions with these men are the scammers. Incredible. 8 out of 10 men with tales of being robbed by a findomme are lying. They're looking for sympathy and a reason to not pay for their masturbatory pursuits. The other 2 are looking to be absolved of responsibility. If they were tricked into paying a domme for whatever filthy fun was had, it didn't really happen and soccer dad is safe. Until next payday, anyway.

MsLadySue -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 11:34:37 PM)
I also object to the finducks considering/advertising themselves as a pro or a domme, they are neither, not even close. Most are simply lazy gold diggers.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/18/2016 11:51:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick You know, I am having a hard time reconciling these two statements... quote: I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work. and quote: As I wrote, after I spend the $100 I send him an email and to thank him. Sorry, but I just don't see how that takes much self-discipline or any work at all. To answer your question, it takes a lot of self-discipline and maturity to be a FinDomme. Do you know how difficult it is to just withdraw $100 a week? When I first started I would withdraw the whole amount. I would then ask the submissive to deposit more. And if he didn't - I didn't want anymore to do with him. That was very immature of me and I lacked self-discipline. But now I've learned and I have self-discipline. You try it - it's not as easy as it sounds. Yeah... most people learn in kindergarten that when another kid has cookies, and you ask for a cookie, and he says you can have 1, it's not nice to take all his cookies instead. By elementary school they usually actually have learned the self-discipline it takes to not take all of the kid's cookies even when they're not worried about the teacher finding out. I'm sorry that you're so far behind, but "keeping true to your word, and agreements you've made with people" actually doesn't take all that much self-discipline at all... for adults that is... Then how come all these submissive males are getting burned by Dominant women? Self-entitled girl does not equal Dominant woman, even if the girl is self-entitled to call herself one. You, for instance, are by no account you've given us so far, a 'Dominant woman'. Basically, they complain because there's a bunch of immature children like you running around, claiming they are Dominant women, and the guys who are new are dumb enough (once) to actually believe them...

Alecta -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/19/2016 7:48:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Diffident I really do find the idea of a fin-domme (or cyber-domme) being even remotely comparable to a Pro-Domme to be quite absurd, frankly. Actually, a qualified Fin or cyber Domme is completely as professional as you described your ProDomme experience, they just serve a different demograph. There are a few very respectable FinDommes here, they just don't hang out on the forums much any more seeing as they have thriving businesses to run that are more important than arguing about their personal morality with people who will never be clients [;)]

LadyPact -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/19/2016 8:01:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAnnie01 I'm trying to wrap my mind around this one. If you like pegging, cross dressing, bondage, pet play, watersports, impact play, living in your dommes basement in 24/7 confinement, domestic servants...all of this is okay. No one will judge you. Well, first of all, that's crap. The statement alone makes me wonder just how much you are around kinky people. quote: BUT.. If your fetish involved the power exchange from giving/taking financially you're a dumbass If you enjoy sending tributes. The dom is a money grubbing where that takes advantage of men. Recently, there's been too much hate on Property dommes and findommes and I want to know why. The people hating probably don't even have a clue about what's really going on! Just like any other D/s relationship there are rules and boundaries, hard limits. Recently? I hate to break it to you, it's nothing "new". quote: As long as they are respected what is your problem? The reverse is also true. I'd probably have to ask you, why do you care? I don't ask for some kind of opinion poll about whether people on a forum approve or disapprove to the kinks that I get up to. I didn't put it up for a vote to ask people what they thought of what I was doing last night. If you and the people you are engaging with are cool with what you are doing, why are you seeking approval? quote: Have you ever actually talked to a finding about how he feels about the money he's sending or gifts he's buying? Those guys are happy as f* to have someone to spoil. They don't feel like they're getting scammed. Yes, I have. What I think would be prudent at this point is to recognize that, for the majority of kinks out there, we also have to accept that we have a certain percentage of folks into WIITWD who aren't entirely on the level. It's very easy for bullsh^t artists to be out there. To go from another angle, how do you know that I'm a reputable player, rather than some criminal, sexual sadist? You don't, and that means people don't know what kind of kink you are practicing, either. Ask them about it. quote: I suggest you guys open up your minds and have some respect for people who have different links than you. It's pretty ignorant and I'm sick of reading about. Please explain. The fact that this bothers you, makes me question why. Personally, if I were you, I'd just be off enjoying my kink.

Diffident -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/19/2016 8:27:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta quote: ORIGINAL: Diffident I really do find the idea of a fin-domme (or cyber-domme) being even remotely comparable to a Pro-Domme to be quite absurd, frankly. Actually, a qualified Fin or cyber Domme is completely as professional as you described your ProDomme experience, they just serve a different demograph. There are a few very respectable FinDommes here, they just don't hang out on the forums much any more seeing as they have thriving businesses to run that are more important than arguing about their personal morality with people who will never be clients [;)] In that case then perhaps you can explain instead. What is it that they do that involves anything comparable to the level of skill and the amount of work of a Pro-Domme in a real time session?

WhoreMods -> RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? (11/19/2016 9:27:00 AM)
I suppose they have to put a bit of effort into finding photos without a watermark to put on their profile. [:D]

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