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why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 3:55:42 AM

MissAnnie01

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/16/2016
Status: offline

I'm trying to wrap my mind around this one.
If you like pegging, cross dressing, bondage, pet play, watersports, impact play, living in your dommes basement in 24/7 confinement, domestic servants...all of this is okay. No one will judge you.

BUT..

If your fetish involved the power exchange from giving/taking financially you're a dumbass If you enjoy sending tributes. The dom is a money grubbing where that takes advantage of men.

Recently, there's been too much hate on Property dommes and findommes and I want to know why. The people hating probably don't even have a clue about what's really going on! Just like any other D/s relationship there are rules and boundaries, hard limits.

As long as they are respected what is your problem?

Have you ever actually talked to a finding about how he feels about the money he's sending or gifts he's buying? Those guys are happy as f* to have someone to spoil. They don't feel like they're getting scammed.

Ask them about it.

I suggest you guys open up your minds and have some respect for people who have different links than you. It's pretty ignorant and I'm sick of reading about.

Please explain.

Post #: 1

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 5:06:59 AM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

Because the majority of findommes who stalk this site are scam artists or play actors. It's not a fetish to them, it's a way to make rent.

The guys who repeatedly fall for the scam then run to the boards to bitch about it over and over, well they get no respect because they look foolish and stupid. Get fooled once, it's a learning experience. Get fooled dozens of times, we begin to question your sanity and ability to use any sense.

(in reply to MissAnnie01)

Post #: 2

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 5:33:26 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

Most are fake scam artists , the rest are just money voids, an exceptionally small minority are okay
No-one’s really interested in paying desperate whore bags who salivate at the sight of a dull penny, and fuk me most of them are so mutt ugly they should be paying their human garbage with bars of gold and a hand written apology for the atrocity that they are to behold.

Almost all, and by that I mean over 99% contribute fuk all too any lifestyle. They weaseled their way into the lifestyle about 10 years ago and I swear the fukers bred like rabbits. Any wonder any of us handsome men have a bean to our names. There is utterly no real demand for these whorebags. They simply try and create demand.
Anyone joining these sites think they have to pay for a mutt monster, or to be 100% poly, or like a good cavity stretching...I would lob a bucket of piranhas over the lot of them.

Where should I send the bill for my typing time?..wonders if you have the word goddess on your profile

I dont doubt for a second most are scam artists and they are men pretending they are some bint

(in reply to Greatlilbabygirl)

Post #: 3

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 6:55:38 AM

WhoreMods

Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline

Should you be expecting to get your arse kissed in here without somebody paying you first?

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to MissAnnie01)

Post #: 4

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 7:32:45 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAnnie01

I'm trying to wrap my mind around this one.
If you like pegging, cross dressing, bondage, pet play, watersports, impact play, living in your dommes basement in 24/7 confinement, domestic servants...all of this is okay. No one will judge you.

BUT..

If your fetish involved the power exchange from giving/taking financially you're a dumbass If you enjoy sending tributes. The dom is a money grubbing where that takes advantage of men. <snip>

Please explain.

It's very simple.
Like others have said - it's not a D/s dynamic at all.

99% of the time, it's young wannabe Findommes who think it's easy money by offering lots on a promise to idiotic sub guys and deliver fuck all.
Essentially, a scam to cream money from guys thinking with their dick instead of their head.

We see them in hoards appearing out of the woodwork near the end of the month.
Not difficult to work that one out if you've been here more than a few minutes and did some searching on the forums.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to MissAnnie01)

Post #: 5

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 7:58:42 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAnnie01

Please explain.

Because Findommes aren't actually in a D/s relationship with anybody. They are engaging in pay-for-play just like Prodommes are. Only, they've going about it in unethcial and sleazy ways, because they try to pretend like what they're doing is a relationship, when what they're doing is offering a service (a service the guys like, mind you) without being transparent about the terms, the expectations, what they offer, and often even without ever delivering the goods and services promissed.

How do we know it's a job and not a relationship? Very very simple actually.

Kinksters who engage in any kind of dynamic or relationship with other kinksters do so in part for reasons other than the mutual kink they have in common.
So a spanker hooks up with a spanky, and if they like each other for reasons other than their mutual kink in common, they might end up playing together, or having a relationship together. If they don't like each other, it doesn't matter that they share a kink, they will still not play.
The same thing applies for rope tops and rope bunnies, and pet players, and age players, and any other kink under the sun: people need to have MORE in common than just their kink for them to interact in a kinky way.

Furthermore, people also WILL interact in ways other than their kink. If a rope bunny tells a rope top she casually plays with (or has a bit of a D/s dynamic with) "I don't want to play tonight, I'm upset and we need to talk" or even just "I'm too tired to play, but I'd love to hang out and talk with you" they will do that, because they have stuff other than kink in common. They're actually friends. They actually share a mutual interest.

Prodommes aren't like that though, they don't engage in kink with their clients because it's their fetish, they engage with clients because the clients pay for their time. They're not friends with their clients outside of the session. They don't share mutual interests. If the client doesn't pay, they don't get the Prodomme's time. It's a job, not a relationship.

The same applies for Findommes. They don't engage with finsubs without there being cash involved. A finsub logging in and saying "I had a really bad day, I'm not in the mood to engage in our 'fetish' of me paying you tonight, can we just talk instead" is going to have how much luck exactly keeping his Findomme logged in?
I'll tell you: exactly as much luck as she's short on cash. And if she is short on cash, within moments she's be pushing him for money. EVEN IF she said she was going to stay on 'just to talk'.
If anybody, with any other 'fetish' would do that, we would call that behavior predatory, creepy, and potentially rape if the victim finally did succumbed to the pressure.
Findommes aren't interested in men beyond their wallet. There is no D/s relationship in online Findommery, it's about the cash. Findommes lie about that... all the time... which is exactly why people don't like them: they're hookers who'll lie to you to get your money, but then never deliver on the goods and services offered.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MissAnnie01)

Post #: 6

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 8:10:24 AM

Diffident

Posts: 163
Joined: 7/12/2016
Status: offline

Once, when I was bored, I checked out the twitter feeds of some of these "Finsubs" who were tweeting the fin-dommes. It was very depressing. The over-whelming impression that I got was of chronic low self-esteem and extreme unhappiness with their lives, not to mention objectification of women and an unfulfilled sense of entitlement, an unhealthy level of obsession with their fetish combined with a lack of self-control. It really did not seem that their kink is making them happier, or better, in any way.

(in reply to WhoreMods)

Post #: 7

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 8:32:23 AM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

Those guys are happy as f* to have someone to spoil. They don't feel like they're getting scammed.

Then why do so many of them complain bout getting scammed?

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to MissAnnie01)

Post #: 8

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 8:37:44 AM

Inghammar

Posts: 145
Joined: 11/25/2012
Status: offline

Everyone here is an adult (I hope) and capable of making adult choices. If someone seeks a financial-based power exchange and that is what makes them happy then who am I to judge? The problem is that this place seems overrun with findommes at the moment and when another one appears, there's a collective 'oh no here we go again'. There's a sameness to the approach and ostensibly there seems to be very little going on aside from a put-downs and a transfer of money which seems lazy. It's easy for the community to be dismissive of findommes for the reason that they appear to want to extract as much money as possible while minimizing any other type of interaction.

I viewed your profile and it seems that you offer more than the typical 'here's a picture of my boots. Give me money, pig' type finnedom. You appear to be actually engaging with your submissives on some meaningful level beyond a transfer of money. I don't think most people would have a problem with what you are doing. Just understand that the crushing volume of lazy 'tribute dommes' has made 'findomme' carry some baggage.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 9

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 8:42:05 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

Dizzy Then why do so many of them complain bout getting scammed? the sock fuker with the 10 000 profiles? he has never been scammed he is trying to make a point and doing an impotent job of it. He hurts my head

(in reply to Inghammar)

Post #: 10

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 11:17:47 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Diffident
Once, when I was bored, I checked out the twitter feeds of some of these "Finsubs" who were tweeting the fin-dommes. It was very depressing. The over-whelming impression that I got was of chronic low self-esteem and extreme unhappiness with their lives, not to mention objectification of women and an unfulfilled sense of entitlement, an unhealthy level of obsession with their fetish combined with a lack of self-control. It really did not seem that their kink is making them happier, or better, in any way.

That sounds about right to me too. I'm not an expert, but I've seen some of this from the "inside" in the sense that someone close to me was a findomme for a while. She couldn't handle it and quit. You need to be a drug pusher basically. Look at the rhetoric the more successful findommes use -- things like, "Give your money to me, not to your kids or your fat wife." Or, "you're a loser and you'll never amount to anything, so you should stay in your apartment and eat cereal and give all your money to me so it will do some good." The way to make a professional wage is to rinse the fuck out of someone -- like a casino, catch a whale -- and it's hard to see how that practice could be ethical.

Findom does exist within the context of loving relationships -- practiced more often by vanillas, I bet. One person controls the finances. Not unusual at all, and not sexually charged. More a convenience (or societal expectation) than a kink. But that probably isn't what our "brand new, first time poster" OP is talking about.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 11/18/2016 11:18:16 AM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Diffident)

Post #: 11

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 11:45:00 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

One person controls the finances. Not unusual at all, and not sexually charged. More a convenience (or societal expectation) than a kink.

Just FYI, I do believe that receiving money from strangers online can be sexually charging for the Finducks.
There's a significant subset of women who is sexually aroused from receiving gifts from eligible mates in general. Which is why there are rose peddlers who come to try to sell you old roses at your table when you're on a date, and so many of male to female dating interactions and rituals (apologizing with a gift, buying her jewelry/flowers/food to say you care about her, gifting her a ring when you ask to marry, etc) are centered around gifts: lots of women do really respond sexually to being given gifts by men.

The problem with online Finducks is that they claim that the fact that they're turned on by receiving money from men online somehow means that they're now in a D/s relationship with the man giving them the money. Which is of course not true, both by the fact that there is no 'relationship' and that there is no D/s involved.
Add to that the fact that they often peddle in false promises in order to get the 'gifts', and now we're talking about a business transaction on which they simple do not uphold their end of the deal, claiming that they don't have to because it was a 'gift' (which is of course what their fantasy is... that it's truly a 'gift'... calling it a business transaction ruins the fantasy for them).

The issue with the whole thing isn't the money, or whether or not it's actually a fetish.
The issue with the whole thing is that Finducks just aren't fucking honest with themselves and others.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 11/18/2016 11:50:48 AM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 12

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 12:41:17 PM

Diffident

Posts: 163
Joined: 7/12/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
You need to be a drug pusher basically.

Quite a good analogy :)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 13

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 2:07:14 PM

MaryMaryProDom

Posts: 36
Joined: 4/25/2016
Status: offline

I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work.
I usually require that the submissive send $500 to my paypal account and that's good for one month. $100 a week is really cheap considering that many Pro-Dommes will charge $400 for just one session.

(in reply to Diffident)

Post #: 14

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 2:41:32 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

$100 a week is really cheap considering that many Pro-Dommes will charge $400 for just one session.

I guess that depends on what one gets for the money.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to MaryMaryProDom)

Post #: 15

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 2:45:31 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom

I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work.
I usually require that the submissive send $500 to my paypal account and that's good for one month. $100 a week is really cheap considering that many Pro-Dommes will charge $400 for just one session.

ProDommes stipulate what the client is getting for that $400. How much of her time, what type of play, what she'll wear, etc. ProDommes also do not 'punish' clients for skipping a session a month, or insist that they're on a regular subscription schedule.

What kind of stipulations do you guarantee your clients will receive in exchange for that $500 a month? How much of your time does that include? What if they're not in the mood for talking about X this month, but want to talk about Y instead?
What if a client decides he does not want to pay you this month, but wants to do so again next month, does he incur 'penalties'? Do your clients have the option to decide month to month whether to engage with you or not, or do you insist on a subscription basis?
Basically: how transparent are you about the services you offer in exchange for the money you demand?

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MaryMaryProDom)

Post #: 16

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 4:18:01 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

HI Miss Annie,

I'm sorry you've had so many negative responses. When I first joined CS, I'd respond to the private messages I got from findommes with a polite 'no thanks, I want a relationship, not a business arrangement' or similar. I don't respond now because there are just too many of you. I'm sorry, but that's just how the market works.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to MissAnnie01)

Post #: 17

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 4:25:05 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

$100 a week is really cheap considering that many Pro-Dommes will charge $400 for just one session.

I guess that depends on what one gets for the money.

I've *never, ever* got that. A few tasteful pics or videos, plus my own imagination, and I'm fine. I can't get my head around anyone who'll pay shed loads of money for some woman who'll never be more than a pisspoor actor of the part I have in my head. And that superb femdom of my imagination ... I don't have to pay a penny for her.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

Post #: 18

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 4:39:09 PM

MaryMaryProDom

Posts: 36
Joined: 4/25/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom

I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work.
I usually require that the submissive send $500 to my paypal account and that's good for one month. $100 a week is really cheap considering that many Pro-Dommes will charge $400 for just one session.

ProDommes stipulate what the client is getting for that $400. How much of her time, what type of play, what she'll wear, etc. ProDommes also do not 'punish' clients for skipping a session a month, or insist that they're on a regular subscription schedule.

What kind of stipulations do you guarantee your clients will receive in exchange for that $500 a month? How much of your time does that include? What if they're not in the mood for talking about X this month, but want to talk about Y instead?
What if a client decides he does not want to pay you this month, but wants to do so again next month, does he incur 'penalties'? Do your clients have the option to decide month to month whether to engage with you or not, or do you insist on a subscription basis?
Basically: how transparent are you about the services you offer in exchange for the money you demand?

You completely misunderstand. I don't have to do anything. It is his pleasure and honor to pay tribute to a Queen. Every week I will spend $100 of his money on whatever I want. I will then write him an email and let him know how happy he has made me. Many want chastity so I will give him permission to have a "release" after I spend the money. It is his honor and privilege to serve me. I allow this. This is my gift to him.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 19

RE: why the hate for other people's kinks? - 11/18/2016 5:07:51 PM

Greatlilbabygirl

Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryMaryProDom

I just want to say that being a FinDomme takes a lot of self-discipline and work.
I usually require that the submissive send $500 to my paypal account and that's good for one month. $100 a week is really cheap considering that many Pro-Dommes will charge $400 for just one session.

ProDommes stipulate what the client is getting for that $400. How much of her time, what type of play, what she'll wear, etc. ProDommes also do not 'punish' clients for skipping a session a month, or insist that they're on a regular subscription schedule.

What kind of stipulations do you guarantee your clients will receive in exchange for that $500 a month? How much of your time does that include? What if they're not in the mood for talking about X this month, but want to talk about Y instead?
What if a client decides he does not want to pay you this month, but wants to do so again next month, does he incur 'penalties'? Do your clients have the option to decide month to month whether to engage with you or not, or do you insist on a subscription basis?
Basically: how transparent are you about the services you offer in exchange for the money you demand?

You completely misunderstand. I don't have to do anything. It is his pleasure and honor to pay tribute to a Queen. Every week I will spend $100 of his money on whatever I want. I will then write him an email and let him know how happy he has made me. Many want chastity so I will give him permission to have a "release" after I spend the money. It is his honor and privilege to serve me. I allow this. This is my gift to him.

Bahahahahahaha

(in reply to MaryMaryProDom)

Post #: 20

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