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What kind of Domme am I? - 12/14/2016 5:01:15 PM   
EmpressOduda


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/24/2016
Status: offline 		I am frequently being told that I am too kind and caring as a "real" Domme. But when I shift into my deep play mode, I am being too cruel. It is not my intent to make my sub or slave cry unless stated that they like it. So how do I find balance? I am firm and demanding, but what can I say I love after care. Help a lady out. And what the hell is wrong with me wanting to get to know my sub before I want to play?? Playing is on my terms.
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RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/14/2016 5:26:13 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		You are the domme which means you are the one who is in control. Do what you want and what makes you feel good. Screw what other people think you should be. Oh and there is no such thing as a "real" or "true" domme.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to EmpressOduda)
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RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/14/2016 5:34:48 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

You are the domme which means you are the one who is in control. Do what you want and what makes you feel good. Screw what other people think you should be. Oh and there is no such thing as a "real" or "true" domme.


^^^ This!!

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to thishereboi)
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RE: What kind of Domme am I - 12/14/2016 5:57:01 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmpressOduda

I am frequently being told that I am too kind and caring as a "real" Domme. But when I shift into my deep play mode, I am being too cruel. It is not my intent to make my sub or slave cry unless stated that they like it.

Are you being told these things by the people you play with or by others?



_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to EmpressOduda)
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RE: What kind of Domme am I - 12/14/2016 6:31:51 PM   
Diffident


Posts: 163
Joined: 7/12/2016
Status: offline 		Kind and caring are good qualities. What sort of person would berate anyone for being too kind or caring?

I see a Pro-Domme semi-regularly. She is one of the nicest people I know, and has built a very successful business from being a Domme. I have no doubt at all that she could out-Domme anyone who says that she is not "real" for being nice to people or for charging money.

(in reply to stef)
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RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/14/2016 8:11:27 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline 		Don't try to be the domme other people think you should be, be the domme you are.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to EmpressOduda)
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RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/15/2016 11:44:16 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Don't try to be the domme other people think you should be, be the domme you are.


This

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/15/2016 12:33:51 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		words and instances define us all - you do not understand for few are all.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/15/2016 4:46:20 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		Meh. I like to laugh and giggle and enjoy myself. I'm friends with all my subs. I enjoy their vanilla company as well as kink. I am physically affectionate. I'm not a sadist.

True, that makes me not right for many.

For the ones I'm right for, though... GAWDDAMN! RAWR!

Just be you. Everyone else is taken.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
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RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/15/2016 8:24:33 PM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline 		being a caring and concerned Domme is a good thing. as a sub knowing that you care helps build trust.
dont worry about what anyone else says or thinks be yourself

_____________________________

currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love


(in reply to NookieNotes)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/16/2016 11:08:11 PM   
EmpressOduda


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/24/2016
Status: offline 		Thank all of you for the words of support. I will keep being me and not what other domes and domes think I should be.

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/16/2016 11:48:51 PM   
longwayhome


Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline 		I hope you do. There is no one true way whatever impression parts of the community might give you.

Kind and caring is just great. If you give a damn about your subs, being cruel can be exactly kind and caring, in some ways that's kind of the point. Crying can be a good thing. There's a big difference being an actual sadist who wants to damage people and being someone who takes someone to scary places or imposes control or discipline when that is what they want or need.

I wouldn't play with someone I didn't know or who didn't know me. Everyone isn't the same when it comes to that but it's your choice. And if you like aftercare or coming down gently with someone that doesn't constitute a threat to your Dommely status.

You wont be for everyone and everyone wont be for you. That's not a problem.

(in reply to EmpressOduda)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 12/17/2016 8:50:28 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		My initial comment inferred you be a man pretending they are women

(in reply to longwayhome)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 1/1/2017 8:14:09 AM   
veronicaboundcd


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you ... and the problem IS with the people you are playing with ... You need to find subs who can appreciate what you have to offer. The next time you are criticized, ask the person what exactly IT IS that they are bringing to the table, as You are certainly not getting their SUBMISSION as reward for your efforts and contributions to everything. You have a bigger gripe than they do in the complaint department, as you are getting little out of these interactions.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What kind of Domme am I? - 1/1/2017 2:24:52 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmpressOduda

I am frequently being told that I am too kind and caring as a "real" Domme. But when I shift into my deep play mode, I am being too cruel. It is not my intent to make my sub or slave cry unless stated that they like it. So how do I find balance? I am firm and demanding, but what can I say I love after care. Help a lady out. And what the hell is wrong with me wanting to get to know my sub before I want to play?? Playing is on my terms.



Nothing at all, I think you just didn't really mesh with the people, sounds like they prefer domming by numbers

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to EmpressOduda)
Profile   Post #: 15
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