Taramafor
Posts: 39
Joined: 12/22/2016
From: UK, Manchester
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: totalcontrolD4s
Folks..we take all of this to a cartoonish level. Obviously a first world problem.
1. you cant be owned,,and there are no Masters or Slaves. Definitions will trip us up....
In bdsm there are "distinctions" that allow adults to play, and have fun....period.
Have a nice day.
Uh... no. I let myself be owned for a time in the time that I'm with someone. I let them control me as they will as they please in the time that I am with them. Anything done to me is fine. There is never blame or regret. I give them that control. That is being owned. That is very much a dom/master and a sub/slave. That is how we choose to view it. It is very much also "consent slavery" in a sense in my case. I take the bad with the good. I just don't let myself be enslaved forever. Even a real, genuine slave will rebel and aim for your throat if they're treated badly. The owner has to care and be nice and allow me some degree of freedom. You don't even keep a prisoner in solitary forever after all. Not if you want them to be nice and civil. It's that simple.
You might have a different opinion and you might see things differently. But if you're going to dare and tell us that we're wrong for seeing things our way then you better put up them dukes, buster. Bring on the logical counter arguments (and please be logical and spare insults. I say this because I been in threads before where it's been nothing but insults without logic. Different sites though).
And it's not just about BDSM either. There's a large difference between BDSM and having or being a owner. The two don't always go hand in hand. Usually more so when it's "for a short amount of time" (though not always of course). It applies less in BDSM only terms when it comes to "People that matter" and "lifestyle" and such. You get the idea. Being people as much as a dom/sub basically. Some might be "people first". I personally am always just me and keep the mix (person and sub with none taking priority). Some others might put themselves as subs first.
Now when I'm NOT with someone then I don't "let" them control me (because they can't in this matter. I refuse to be controlled on that account), as I might be with others or need to do my own shit. But other people out there can and do "remain controlled" and will face punishment if they don't "get in line" even when away from their owners. How is that not control? Some married couples are like this. Some people will have rules about "Don't do that or I'm leaving you" (never anything I'd get involved with myself, but some people are like that and are fine with it). While this applies to marriage in general it applies more so when a married person is a dom/sub.
And there's such a thing as context. Sub and slave and pet and so on have different meaning depending on how they're used. Screw dictionary definition, I'm talking about the definitions we assign for ourselves. Technically, if we're getting into the known definitions of it I guess people have taken the context of servant and assigned that meaning to slave these days. Since real slaves are less of a thing. The labels have changed but the context has remained. But then "sub" is a servant of sorts. And "slave" can mean "enjoying being controlled when allowed". So it gets a bit technical. That's not a "first world problem", that's someone not bothering to find out what I mean when I bring it up. Am I supposed to be this wordy about it in every conversation? No? Didn't think so.
People get called pets but it doesn't mean they're on all fours and barking. First world problem that.
Overall though, yes, it's two people talking about things and agreeing about how to interact with each other. but some gladiators choose to go into the arena without being able to back out after. Is the logic sinking in yet? Some people do that with Dom/sub. Sure, people can walk away but then would they be able to even live with themselves after if they care for each other that much? It's not as simple as you're making it out to be. Even if the walking itself is a simple matter. We're slaves to our own thoughts and feelings before others. Which is why some gladiators live to fight. Same with samurai and soldiers from WW2 and Vietnam. Same with cooks that might face a sudden food shortage. Etc, etc. We give our lives purpose and a meaning, for without that it is nothing and meaningless. Hell, I've been a slave to people I know before sub was even a thing. We make our own chains in the end. And even a genuine slave can choose to fight and take up arms at any point in time. The question is... what are the results when that happens, not just the results from others but those we bring on ourselves? Often freedom is wanted but sometimes it's what we had before being free that matters more. What was once a cage by another can become our own chain and ball.
As for "forced slavery" that is decided by others... that's not just slavery, that's "removing the choice". I view the later as a violation of everything I believe in and stand for myself. And it happens far, far too often outside of BDSM, let alone in it (I guess this could be called a first world problem). I can choose my own chains or who to put me in them but if anyone tries to put me in them without my say so I'm damn sure aiming for that throat.
P.S: Stating something as a fact and then going it's an opinion for other people is still stating something as a fact for them. I refer to the post about "It's not slavery" and then saying it's for others if they choose to view it as such for themselves. That's a contradiction (I'm aware it wasn't intended as such). Yes, different viewpoints, but like I said, context. If you don't know the context then you can't know why the label is used by another. Chances are it's different for everyone. And regardless of how I see things it won't change how others see things. My false can be another persons truth and vice versa. But it has to apply to me and them. Not as a fact on a whole. Because a fact on a whole is speaking for others and is something to be careful about. *Drops an apple* Gravity is a fact. Perceptions about slavery are perception. Unless we speak of the forced kind only, which we all know by now is the unwanted kind unless you have some secret desire to be kidnapped and used against your will without a choice or something. Can be a thing I guess. I shan't judge it.
< Message edited by Taramafor -- 12/25/2016 2:30:09 AM >
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RE: oh..and by the way - 
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