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The social,partying and public playing side of the BDSM... - 12/31/2016 8:53:00 PM

GBaxter

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/24/2015
Status: offline

I'd be interested to hear people's views on the social, partying and public playing side of the BDSM scene.

A) Are you heavily into it in the city you reside in and partake of things fairly regularly, as you've gained and gain a lot from it and have made good, helpful
contacts as a result.

B) Are you not into it, as you're a very private person and/or you also have a professional job and career, so you can't.

C) Did you check it out in your city when you first got into BDSM, but you only do so when you feel like it. Or it didn't do very much for you for whatever reason/s, or you didn't like the attitudes of some people.

D) Are you not into it, as you did check out a couple things, but you tend to view the 'public' side of the BDSM scene, like going to cover charge meets, organised meets and parties, as being a fake, superficial show side of the scene, because you see public playing as being fake and is generally about people trying to make money (for things there's a cover charge for).

E) You enjoy it, as you love dressing up in BDSM clothes and/or find exhibitionism and voyeurism are fetishes for you, that you greatly enjoy.

F) Are you not into it, as you're more into the instructional and learning side of things, like for example, in learning rope bondage from doing courses in it, or in mixing with other people who are also into rope.

Post #: 1

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 12/31/2016 9:11:46 PM

tamaka

Posts: 5079
Status: offline

G) Never been interested or involved. Into the relationship not the trappings.

(in reply to GBaxter)

Post #: 2

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 2:08:43 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GBaxter
I'd be interested to hear people's views on the social, partying and public playing side of the BDSM scene.

A) Are you heavily into it in the city you reside in and partake of things fairly regularly, as you've gained and gain a lot from it and have made good, helpful
contacts as a result.

Yes. I'm not saying that I'm at every event that is held here. However, I'm at events often enough.

quote:

B) Are you not into it, as you're a very private person and/or you also have a professional job and career, so you can't.

N/A

quote:

C) Did you check it out in your city when you first got into BDSM, but you only do so when you feel like it. Or it didn't do very much for you for whatever reason/s, or you didn't like the attitudes of some people.

Let's skip the 'when you first got into BDSM' thing. Frankly, there's no 'good' comparison between the 90's and now. Unlike some folks, I was at munches and sitting in leather bars before I ever owned a computer.

However...

I would encourage anyone to check out what's happening in their town. There absolutely are cities that I wouldn't be involved in public kink.

quote:

D) Are you not into it, as you did check out a couple things, but you tend to view the 'public' side of the BDSM scene, like going to cover charge meets, organised meets and parties, as being a fake, superficial show side of the scene, because you see public playing as being fake and is generally about people trying to make money (for things there's a cover charge for).

OK. If you can't handle a door fee... Stay Home. Honestly, if that twenty bucks is going to break you, or coming to the club with that kind of entitlement chip on your shoulder is how you're coming into this... Do you and me a favor... Just don't.

quote:

E) You enjoy it, as you love dressing up in BDSM clothes and/or find exhibitionism and voyeurism are fetishes for you, that you greatly enjoy.

I don't wear leather for those reasons. No, you probably won't see me wearing leather other than at kink functions or at pride. The concept of this might be above your pay grade.

quote:

F) Are you not into it, as you're more into the instructional and learning side of things, like for example, in learning rope bondage from doing courses in it, or in mixing with other people who are also into rope.

I'm into it AND find the educational aspects worthwhile.

I'm kind of a 'hands on' learner.

Best of luck. Happy New Year.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to GBaxter)

Post #: 3

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 7:22:47 AM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

I'm curious if you've ever hosted or gone to a BDSM themed New Year's celebration.... Happy New Year.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 4

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 8:54:51 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

The second best one I ever went to was Edinburgh Dungeons at Halloween. Now that would be about 12 years ago, possibly 11. I think about 40 went.

The best club/munch I ever went to was private party at my thence Girls friends house…what do they call these private parties? Perhaps 16 at this one and the infamous red sparkly boot competition I have told that story before on here.. Won’t name her but I will share one memory of our time together from decade ago.

But please understand only 1/100-/1000 on these sites ever attend a club/munch private party. In my era they were fairly friendly – to totally friendly relaxed places. And they were not dens of inequity. How are these days you regular goers?

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 5

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 9:12:17 AM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

C.

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Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)

Post #: 6

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 9:47:22 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

ThatDizzyChick twere indeed the “C” but in the civilised lands we spell it sea. I actually forget what you look like you know. I have many from that set I can share on this one if you wish?

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

Post #: 7

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 11:46:35 AM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

I actually forget what you look like you know.

Rather plain girl with straight dirty blonde hair to roughly her shoulders with a very wide goofy grin.

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Post #: 8

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 12:02:19 PM

kiwisub22

Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
Status: offline

I've been attending private and paid-admission parties for over 10 years.
I have a lot of people that I consider at the very least friendly acquaintences that I socialize with at said parties - not what I would call contacts because i'm not expecting anything from them other than the pleasure of their company.

I am a fairly private person with my emotions, and a professional and don't see where either stops me from going to parties. Everyone pretty much have things to loss if we are outed.

There is (now) a cover charge at the group I go to, and considering the host/ess covers the toilet paper, paper towels, A/C, water and so on for her house, I have no issues with a cover charge. And since I play at said parties, I can categorically state that the play isn't fake in any way, shape or form. I hurt, and that isn't a problem for me. I'm guess fake, superficial people don't go to the same parties I go to, because most of the play I see results in real bruises and ouches.

I'm sensing some issues with the OP. Maybe the OP should talk about those, rather than posting hypothetical questions.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

Post #: 9

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 1:29:15 PM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline

I have been into the lifestyle since my early 20's. I would not say I am a regular in my community as I travel a lot for work. So being home to make the monthly events is a problem due to work. That being said I do attend events when and where I can. Sometimes that means attending events at the city I am working in at the time.

I have never found people to be superficial at the events. Actually rather the opposite. Generally very kind and welcoming.

Paying a cover change has never bothered me. I am rather glad to pay it for someone taking the effort to organize things, clean up afterwards and supply a place to make it a fun time.

I am not an exhibitionist. I actually do not like playing in public. I prefer to play in private. My main reason for attending events is to socialize with people in the lifestyle, discuss topics, techniques, share information, make friends and occasionally teach a class.

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(in reply to GBaxter)

Post #: 10

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/1/2017 1:54:43 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

We don't play publicly. Play for us is sexual and I'm not an exhibitionist.

However, we enjoy the local munch because it's run by good people. We take the occasional class, mostly shibari. He would like to learn how to suspend people but I'm bowing up from that. There's a risk it could set off a vertigo attack.

We do go to the local rope group because it's mainly composed of good people who are fun to be with. Sometimes he practices ties me and sometimes not.

And we went out last night with several of the core group from the munch. We had fun.

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(in reply to DocStrange)

Post #: 11

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/2/2017 1:41:17 PM

MistressFiera

Posts: 18
Joined: 12/17/2010
Status: offline

A.

I am as deep into it as is probably possible. I remember looking back to days I did not even realize real life was happening but, for me, real life was worth it! I think if you have not stepped out then get on Fetlife and figure out what is going on in your community. I am currently on the board of Houston EROS and I run Whips in the Park. I fill my life with wonderful kinky friends, munches, play parties, private parties and poly! It is a dream and honestly every person here can have the same thing.

I know for a fact that people are damned scared to jump into the scene but the people in my community are kind people that just want kink friends and a kink lifestyle just like you. We want to socialize with our own kind. It is way more fun than saying, "Oh I didn't do anything on the weekend" when you know you were having the time of your life and actually want to share your experiences!

So really this message is for those who haven't made it out there! Go on. I bet you won't be disappointed.
Mistress Fiera

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 12

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/3/2017 12:41:47 PM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I have partied hard on the London scene. I’ve loved my latex, corsets and Victoriana steam punk wardrobe.
I’ve run my own large BDSM club in London, owned my own dungeon in the city and run two different businesses through fetish markets. I’ve munched all over the country including Scotland and I’ve run numerous types of workshops. I reached a stage of thinking, fuck all that, I need a break.

We still go to some private parties where we know the hosts well and although I don’t regret anything I’ve done because it was great fun, I don’t feel the need to keep in with the scene anymore.

_____________________________

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(in reply to MistressFiera)

Post #: 13

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/3/2017 5:20:15 PM

preytolife

Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline

A.

I'm not as deep as I once was, but I'm still active and have been for the last 6 years. I'm more careful now because of my job but it hasn't stopped me.

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"No man is so good as to be free from all evil, nor so bad as to be worth nothing." - Norse Proverb

(in reply to MariaB)

Post #: 14

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/3/2017 7:03:47 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GBaxter

B) Are you not into it, as you're a very private person and/or you also have a professional job and career, so you can't.

I am a B. I know myself and I will not be able to deal with the backlash of outing myself in my kind of society.
I swear even my best girlfriends will never talk to me again if they knew.
BDSM is something that I have no expectation of people to accept it in my life.
But I do surround myself with alot of people who will seriously distance themselves from me IF they knew I was into it. But they are people I enjoy the company of for many other things alot.
It's still a very conservative society sexually.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/3/2017 7:04:36 PM >

(in reply to GBaxter)

Post #: 15

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/5/2017 1:51:44 PM

KinkyBlackMan

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/4/2015
Status: offline

Here is my opinion about the social aspect of BDSM. How do you meet people if you don't ever go to events? I met a guy on SLS that was complaining about how no one ever wanted to play with him. When I asked him what events he had been to he told me none. Guy had been on the site since 2003. Yes, SLS is a site dedicated to swingers but its the same no matter what community you are in. You have to get from behind the computer and actually meet people if you want to meet people. Now once you become more experienced and make friends then you may not have to go out as frequently but you cant meet people on the internet.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 16

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/7/2017 3:59:53 PM

strangecreature

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/25/2016
Status: offline

i hate munches and shit like that. i did modelling for a long time that totally turned me off from the whole "scene." its fake and showy to me, but, hey, some people love the networking. it makes me want to vomit.

(in reply to KinkyBlackMan)

Post #: 17

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/7/2017 5:25:22 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

How do you meet people if you don't ever go to events?

I don't know, just living life seems to work. my latest maybe romantic interest I met on the subway. The Fella I met at work, he came into the bar where I worked with a bunch of his friends. Others I have met in bars, clubs, shopping, in restaurants, through friends, skating, through school (I meet tons of people this way).

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Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to KinkyBlackMan)

Post #: 18

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/7/2017 6:05:09 PM

preytolife

Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangecreature

i hate munches and shit like that. i did modelling for a long time that totally turned me off from the whole "scene." its fake and showy to me, but, hey, some people love the networking. it makes me want to vomit.

What does modeling have to do with munches and the BDSM scene?

_____________________________

"No man is so good as to be free from all evil, nor so bad as to be worth nothing." - Norse Proverb

(in reply to strangecreature)

Post #: 19

RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 12:02:35 PM

KinkyBlackMan

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/4/2015
Status: offline

quote:

I don't know, just living life seems to work. my latest maybe romantic interest I met on the subway. The Fella I met at work, he came into the bar where I worked with a bunch of his friends. Others I have met in bars, clubs, shopping, in restaurants, through friends, skating, through school (I meet tons of people this way).

Well in this context I was referring to other people into kink. All of my previous relationships were people that I met living life. However, none of them had the capacity to handle my lifestyle. I agree with you that if you are just looking for a vanilla boyfriend or girlfriend then its rather simple. Finding people that share our kinks is a little more complicated....in my opinion.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

Post #: 20

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