RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the BDSM scene

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 12:05:52 PM

strangecreature

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/25/2016
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I'm referring to the entire "scene" of which I would have never been exposed to had I not been doing that. It actually has a lot to do with it
Excuse me.....this was a response to preytolife. I'm not yet accustomed to posting here.

< Message edited by strangecreature -- 1/8/2017 12:08:12 PM >

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 12:15:45 PM

strangecreature

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Joined: 8/25/2016
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quote:

ORIGINAL: preytolife

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangecreature

i hate munches and shit like that. i did modelling for a long time that totally turned me off from the whole "scene." its fake and showy to me, but, hey, some people love the networking. it makes me want to vomit.

What does modeling have to do with munches and the BDSM scene?

Gee...I dunno. What does fetish modeling have to do with the fetish scene? Go ahead and retract those claws. I'm not engaging any further.

< Message edited by strangecreature -- 1/8/2017 12:16:07 PM >

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 12:35:30 PM

Wayward5oul

Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: strangecreature

quote:

ORIGINAL: preytolife

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangecreature

i hate munches and shit like that. i did modelling for a long time that totally turned me off from the whole "scene." its fake and showy to me, but, hey, some people love the networking. it makes me want to vomit.

What does modeling have to do with munches and the BDSM scene?

Gee...I dunno. What does fetish modeling have to do with the fetish scene? Go ahead and retract those claws. I'm not engaging any further.

Its a fair question. I have gone to many a munch and play party and such, and have never run into models or situations requiring the presence of models.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 12:57:29 PM

preytolife

Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
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No claws here. In my experience most fetish modeling is not well integrated into the BDSM scene. You have all sorts of bodies in your standard community, and in my experience far more body positivity than nearly any other environment. You have naked men and women of all shapes, ages, sizes and roll types flaunting and filleting each other. Photo shoots that I've been aware of were usually for publicity and the intent was the appearance rather than the scene. Cameras aren't even allowed at many events. I used to attend events exclusively in pajama bottoms, no makeup and with a not inconsiderable amount of body mass and I was never made to feel uncomfortable or unwanted, nor did I lack for play partners.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 1:15:45 PM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkyBlackMan
...You have to get from behind the computer and actually meet people if you want to meet people. Now once you become more experienced and make friends then you may not have to go out as frequently but you cant meet people on the internet.

I disagree.
Everyone we have ever met and played with have been from the internet.
We never go to munches or meets of any kind.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 1:25:34 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkyBlackMan

Here is my opinion about the social aspect of BDSM. How do you meet people if you don't ever go to events? I met a guy on SLS that was complaining about how no one ever wanted to play with him. When I asked him what events he had been to he told me none. Guy had been on the site since 2003. Yes, SLS is a site dedicated to swingers but its the same no matter what community you are in. You have to get from behind the computer and actually meet people if you want to meet people. Now once you become more experienced and make friends then you may not have to go out as frequently but you cant meet people on the internet.

I have met my last two Dominant partners online.

I have absolutely zero desire at this point to go to events, so I set my sights elsewhere.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 1:52:01 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I met The Man online.

I would not look for a long term partner in my local community. That's mainly people who play casually, and form short term relationships. Those of us who are monogamous, including not playing with others don't really fit the scene.

What it is good for, or can be good for, is seeing things in action. Taking classes, watching people who are good at one kind of play, asking them questions about it over time. Doing stuff you've only read about or seen on YouTube doesn't make me feel safe.

And the munches are almost always welcoming to newbies. I say almost because at out last, some One Twue Way dude decided that because he introduced himself as master, that the rest of us were submissive to him. He lectured everyone for 45 minutes including telling someone new that none of the big fet groups have useful info and his little tiny group filled with only his writings was the only place to learn from.

I'm not sure if I should write the munch leader or just wait and see if he's going to do this again. Regardless, he ruined what had been a good evening and drove us out early.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 2:26:52 PM

KinkyBlackMan

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/4/2015
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Great discussion, perhaps I should not have said that "you cannot" and instead said "I find it difficult". I have met one woman here on Collarspace but I believe that the only reason she was comfortable enough to meet me is that we have mutual friends. The mutual friends are people that I met at munches or other BDSM events I have attended. Everyone's experience is different and as a single male I cannot speak on the experience of a single female or couple. As a single man, I found it difficult to meet people in BDSM or Swinging until I started going to events.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 3:48:31 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangecreature

quote:

ORIGINAL: preytolife

quote:

ORIGINAL: strangecreature

i hate munches and shit like that. i did modelling for a long time that totally turned me off from the whole "scene." its fake and showy to me, but, hey, some people love the networking. it makes me want to vomit.

What does modeling have to do with munches and the BDSM scene?

Gee...I dunno. What does fetish modeling have to do with the fetish scene? Go ahead and retract those claws. I'm not engaging any further.

Its a fair question. I have gone to many a munch and play party and such, and have never run into models or situations requiring the presence of models.

Well, being LA, I did run into models and actresses at events (one of my close friends was a porn actress).....but they were there to be with friends or have fun. The actual modeling or acting wasn't done while at the events or interacting with the community.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/8/2017 4:59:51 PM

strangecreature

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Well, I'll be the first to admit my experience wasn't good

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/9/2017 9:35:45 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
Its a fair question. I have gone to many a munch and play party and such, and have never run into models or situations requiring the presence of models.

Not situations requiring the presence of models. However, I've definitely run into fetish models at munches and events. Major conventions? It happens all of the time because they are doing the kink thing and getting the side benefits of networking.

Happens at small munches, too. The last time was when the gal was visiting some friends in the area and came to the munch with them. Showed us some of her work because she had a few shots from her shoots saved on her cell phone. Really nice work.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/12/2017 1:48:50 PM

SpielMitMir

Posts: 80
Joined: 1/16/2006
From: Pittsburgh/Chicago
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I enjoy going to play parties or big events. Even a munch or two from time to time.
Last year I stepped back from the local scene to plan my wedding. But I am looking to get back into it.

Two good friends of mine would throw great parties that I loved going to. The vibe was very nice and open. Even if you don't go with the goal to play. It was nice to hang out with everyone. But one move away and the other stopped having parties as often as he did.

I use to co-host once in awhile a Threshold munch. For anyone looking to get into the local scene and had questions before going. I enjoyed that so much. It was nice to help someone feel welcome in a small group. Just with the guy who runs it and me at a local coffee shop. With on average 3-5 people that show up. I wish I would have went to one when I was new. But I went to a happy hour by myself without knowing anyone but it worked out.

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RE: The social,partying and public playing side of the ... - 1/13/2017 7:49:45 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
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Maths I am not going into. But in essence you stand a better chance of meeting someone online - but you will meet more actual people at a clubs.

Clubs are very friendly places in the main - so its worth attending even the once if possible. If you are going alone you can typically change in the actual club. But please email the organizers and say you are alone and this is your first one

eg I have never been to a club before and I am nervous at the prospect of attending alone - just email them that.

I was fortunate in that a couple dragged me to my very first one.

Entrance fee - shrugs they need to typically cover the cost of hiring the venue.

munches are munches, & private parties are different

(in reply to SpielMitMir)

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