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Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 8:44:32 AM   
vincentML


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. . . . have tripled in number since 1960 because women are intentionally opting to go it alone without a male partner. Why?

In a nation of extreme economic inequality non-college educated men are disproportionately affected by job loss. Women in that marriage market prefer to invest in themselves rather than in relationships according to the linked article.

Yet, the rising number of single mothers in the United States also reflects an economy that limits their choices. As income inequality in this country has shot up over the past 30 years, it has affected men even more than women. Between 1979 and 2007, every group of men except for college graduates saw its incomes fall, while every group of women except for high school dropouts enjoyed an increase in income, according to the Pew Research Center. This means that there are more men at the top and bottom of the income ladder, and a larger group of women in the middle with fewer acceptable partners. Moreover, the men at the bottom have lost ground not only in terms of income, but in rising rates of unemployment, job instability, lack of community involvement and a corresponding loss of status. In these circumstances, marrying and staying married can be more burden than boon. As one divorced mother we interviewed told us, “I can take care of myself. I can take care of myself and the kid. I just can’t take care of myself, the kid and him.”

Much as we should celebrate economic advances for women, the rise of single-parent families, then, reflects women’s lack of better choices and the realities of modern economic conditions more than a concerted social movement ratifying female empowerment. The percentage of female-headed households with children living in poverty has gone up, from 33 percent in 2000 to 41 percent in 2011. All told, more than half of all children living in poverty in this country are part of single-mother households.

SNIP

Later sociologists, such as Bill Wilson at Harvard University, explained why: The real problem is not that women simply won’t stay with lower-earning men, though that sometimes happens. To a greater degree, the problem is that the men who lose out in a more unequal society—by losing their jobs, taking lower paying ones, possibly even becoming depressed—behave badly. Laid-off men help out less at home than those working full time, and they are more likely to drink or abuse their intimate partners, giving women even more reason to raise their children on their own. As inequality increases, so do substance abuse, arrests and imprisonment.

Collectively, job instability, chronic unemployment, violence, mass incarceration and substance abuse cause women to write off high percentages of men in poorer communities as unattractive long-term partners. An overwhelming share of never-married American women— 78 percent—say it is “very important” to them to have a spouse with a steady job; that factor is even more important than shared values about having and raising children. But only 46 percent of men rate a steady job as “very important.” Sociologists Marcia Guttentag and Paul Secord observed in a number of cross-cultural studies that when marriageable women outnumber the comparable men in a given marriage market, the acceptable men—the ones who still have jobs— find that they can play the field, and do. But women burned in their initial relationships, whether by the seemingly responsible partner they found cheating on the side or the charming slacker dude busted for meth, become jaded. They invest in themselves, not their relationships.


Thoughts???

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 9:23:40 AM   
Awareness


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The rise of single-mother families in black America is the single most influential factor in the poor social, educational and economic outcomes for black children.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 9:56:41 AM   
bounty44


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I disagree with the use of the word "choice" in your opening line. sometimes it is indeed that, other times its what happens to them.

nevertheless, I think this (im going outside the scope of the OP a bit):

I might miss a thing or two but, the rise of single mother families is attributable to liberal values including: friends with benefits/fuck buddies and booty calls, the denigration of traditional and/or religious moral values, increasing welfare support which subsidizes the behavior, the marginalization of men, the liberalization of divorce laws, and yes, Murphy brown.

if this (single mothers) is a thing that bothers you liberals, then change your beliefs accordingly. and take down your "a woman need a man like a fish needs a bicycle" posters.

rant away comrades...

< Message edited by bounty44 -- 1/3/2017 10:01:48 AM >

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 10:32:48 AM   
ThatDizzyChick


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quote:

is attributable to liberal values

isn't that what you blame everything on?

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 10:56:14 AM   
WhoreMods


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

is attributable to liberal values

isn't that what you blame everything on?

Much easier than looking for causes, never mind trying to do something to deal with them: if you can scapegoat a problem, you don't even have to pretend that you're trying to solve it.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 11:59:22 AM   
cloudboy


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I don't fully understand how single parents "do it." Hopefully they have an alternative support network.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 12:18:13 PM   
tj444


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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

. . . . have tripled in number since 1960 because women are intentionally opting to go it alone without a male partner. Why?


When I was younger I believed that kids needed both a mommy and daddy living together & raising the kids together and I would never have had a kid without being with the father.. I have changed my mind on that, now I think a great mommy is much better than a mommy living with a mediocre dad.. I can see the point of the woman who can take care of herself and the kid but not herself, the kid and him... I always felt like i was dragging my ex kicking and screaming along with me, it got so damn tiring.. eventually you give up.. its that or go crazy!..

When I look at the dating scene, there is (imo) not much pickin's there.. and my ex always had some excuse to not have kids.. so if I were to ever have a kid(s) or adopt, i would do it totally on my own but only if i was well off financially.. I dont believe in bringing kids up in poverty/raised on welfare so if there wasnt the money to give them a good but basic upbringing (& the nanny to help) then I simply wouldnt have any kids.. Going it alone means YOU make all the decisions.. so much easier and efficient and saner..


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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 1:05:22 PM   
vincentML


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

The rise of single-mother families in black America is the single most influential factor in the poor social, educational and economic outcomes for black children.

I would agree with you on that. Seems to make sense, it does.

However, I would also be interested to see what the correlation is for white kids in single parent homes and their educational attainment. And, are there other factors involved?

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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 1:36:24 PM   
vincentML


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quote:

ORIGINAL: bounty44

I disagree with the use of the word "choice" in your opening line. sometimes it is indeed that, other times its what happens to them.

nevertheless, I think this (im going outside the scope of the OP a bit):

I might miss a thing or two but, the rise of single mother families is attributable to liberal values including: friends with benefits/fuck buddies and booty calls, the denigration of traditional and/or religious moral values, increasing welfare support which subsidizes the behavior, the marginalization of men, the liberalization of divorce laws, and yes, Murphy brown.

if this (single mothers) is a thing that bothers you liberals, then change your beliefs accordingly. and take down your "a woman need a man like a fish needs a bicycle" posters.

rant away comrades...

The total number of American individuals that received TANF (welfare checks) during the past twelve months is 4,306,000. That is out of what? 130,000,000 million population? Hardly the basis for a national bacchanalia, is it?



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vML

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~ MLK Jr.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 8:53:17 PM   
Marini


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I am not even sure where to start here.

Many many people are hurting these days.

The middle class, especially the Black middle class is being wiped out.
We have a generation of people who can expect NOT to do as well as their parents.

Jobs jobs jobs...where are they?
Especially decent paying jobs?
If less than 46% of the available men, don't have steady work.........????????
Where is the surprise?

It's the economy and also lack of opportunities that have contributed to the destruction of many families.
This may be a surprise to many, but large groups of people of ALL races are hurting, suffering, and struggling!

Single mothers are hurting, many divorced mothers are hurting, many families are hurting, and many single people are hurting.

Many single people don't qualify for many of the welfare programs, and just end out on the street.
I know how this thread is going to go, it's the same ole song around here.
Peace



< Message edited by Marini -- 1/3/2017 9:16:34 PM >


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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 10:01:36 PM   
MercTech


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A common point considered in the current condition. Western society conditions women to "Marry Up" or at least in the same socio-economic level wheras a man is conditioned to be the top dog in a relationship or not at all. Couple the social disparity in conditioned partner choices with with the encouragement and subsidization of women going to secondary education; the social mix of post graduates has inverted since the 1970s.
Collegiate enrollment is majority female now and new graduates in STEM fields are hired at higher salaries if they are female.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 10:08:16 PM   
Greta75


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FR
I think the problem is as simple as, there aren't enough responsible good men.
Would these women be single raising kids IF they had a responsible man?
Sorry, when I was going through my own divorce. I spent 3 hours in a divorce court waiting for my turn.
So many asshole fathers would do anything, and even take the jail term, or leave the country, quit their job, rather than to donate a single cent to help support their 4 or 5 kids he abandoned.

At the same time, I've met many fantastic fathers. IF it was a good father, he'd fight tooth and nail to be able to be with his kids and be part of their lives and be involved, and that woman wouldn't be allowed to be a single mom. Co-parenting at the very least. I've met fathers that despite the hard time his x-wife gives him, he bends to all her demands just for precious time with his children.

But such great fathers are few.




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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/3/2017 10:22:23 PM   
tamaka


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

I am not even sure where to start here.

Many many people are hurting these days.

The middle class, especially the Black middle class is being wiped out.
We have a generation of people who can expect NOT to do as well as their parents.

Jobs jobs jobs...where are they?
Especially decent paying jobs?
If less than 46% of the available men, don't have steady work.........????????
Where is the surprise?

It's the economy and also lack of opportunities that have contributed to the destruction of many families.
This may be a surprise to many, but large groups of people of ALL races are hurting, suffering, and struggling!

Single mothers are hurting, many divorced mothers are hurting, many families are hurting, and many single people are hurting.

Many single people don't qualify for many of the welfare programs, and just end out on the street.
I know how this thread is going to go, it's the same ole song around here.
Peace




Single fathers are hurting too.

(in reply to Marini)
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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/4/2017 3:43:30 AM   
Marini


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I left out single fathers.
Also, I left out the decline in religion, faith, morals and values.
Many people don't feel the need to follow any code of ethics.
Many men don't even know what it means to be a man.
Many women don't know how to be good mothers, or how to teach boys how to become men,
or how to teach daughters to become mothers.

Do you see cycles here?
I am not even going to start on the school system.
.................
The reasons are endless, but when a society feels they can throw out the rules.
Then many don't feel the need to follow any rules.
Often confusion rules the day.
Morals

The reasons are many, we see the results.

< Message edited by Marini -- 1/4/2017 3:56:51 AM >


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As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/4/2017 4:46:25 AM   
Termyn8or


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FR

The problem here is that single Parent usually have to stick their kids in daycare. That is no place to learn. They should be at home in Mom's lap learning to read.

T^T

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/4/2017 8:09:05 AM   
Greta75


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

FR

The problem here is that single Parent usually have to stick their kids in daycare.

It's interesting that some full time housewives still put their kids into day care, because they want their kids to interact with other children. And start building social skills.

And of course, many of these "day care" are selling beyond day care, being Asian and obsess with grades, they are promising advance learning where they are gonna have a head start in grades once they get older.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/4/2017 8:41:04 AM   
tamaka


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

FR

The problem here is that single Parent usually have to stick their kids in daycare. That is no place to learn. They should be at home in Mom's lap learning to read.

T^T


Dad's can do it too.

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/4/2017 3:50:24 PM   
preytolife


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I don't really see single parents as a problem. I was raised by my dad. The income issue is certainly troubling, but then I'd argue that we're going through a societal shift right now, infrastructure hasn't adjusted well to the shift in cultural values, in the change to the composition of families. Changes cause societal tension, however everything adjusts with time. For instance when an article talks about single parent households, what does that mean? Does that mean that the parents live separately? Is there joint custody? Is one parent totally missing? Family structures are changing. I love the idea that there's a societal shift towards independence rather than couple based units.

quote:

To a greater degree, the problem is that the men who lose out in a more unequal society—by losing their jobs, taking lower paying ones, possibly even becoming depressed—behave badly.

Which came first, chicken or the egg?

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/4/2017 10:20:54 PM   
Greta75


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End of the day. I do have the greatest respect for any single dad or single mothers. It's tough even with both parents. Handling it alone is crazy. Would really need alot of relatives or grandparents help.

And to be honest. My ideal future mate is a single dad. I don't mind if he comes with young children. That quality itself, makes me think the world of him. Because he bothered to take responsibility for his kid.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/4/2017 10:21:41 PM >

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RE: Single Mother Families . . . - 1/5/2017 2:42:12 AM   
Termyn8or


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

FR

The problem here is that single Parent usually have to stick their kids in daycare.

It's interesting that some full time housewives still put their kids into day care, because they want their kids to interact with other children. And start building social skills.

And of course, many of these "day care" are selling beyond day care, being Asian and obsess with grades, they are promising advance learning where they are gonna have a head start in grades once they get older.


Day care here, from what I've seen of it, is just a big playroom or even someone's house. I am sure it is different in other countries. If there is actual teaching going on really it is probably a good thing. But here some hillbilly broad with enough square footage can get a license for X amount of kids.

I think learning to read early is more important than socialisation. They can make friends easier if they are not stupid. There are preschools but those as well as daycare and regular elementary school does not have a long enough day for a single Parent to have a full time job. Most of them want your kid outta there by 3;30 but you work until 5:00 What now ? Plus it is not cheap either.

T^T

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