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anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:00:52 AM

scottjk

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Joined: 4/18/2005
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I'm currently working with a new sub (new to the lifestyle) that is currently taking anti-depressants. One side effect is some sexual dysfunction. Her arousal reaction appears fine, however, her ability to orgasm is severaly curtailed. Now being who I am, I enjoy making women orgasm quite a bit. ;)

Has anyone found a means to counteract this kind of induced sexual dysfunction, short of reducing dosages or changing the meds?

Post #: 1

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:07:02 AM

Ariel

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Hello Scott,

I have also has this very same issue, and have tried to find other answers to curtail this as well, and to date have not been successful. So therefore will watch the others who post to see what they may have come up with to help with this issue.

_____________________________

Ariel

Aw inspiring beauty comes from within

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 2

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:19:16 AM

paynestar

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Joined: 7/21/2006
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Sex is the focus for BDSM. For one with sexual dysfunction, sex is a nice benefit; but with the inability to normally climax, one or both partners feel a sense of 'failure.'

At this moment, there aren't any answers.

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 3

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:24:19 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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As far as I know, there really isn't one, except for changing meds.

I've been on a variety of antidepressants, and this is the first one that doesn't dampen my ability to orgasm. This one just dampens my sexual arousal as a whole :(

From my research, though, it's part of the territory and there really aren't amny options.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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Post #: 4

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:28:56 AM

Cloudz

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Joined: 9/13/2005
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...Watiting eagerly to see if there are any postive answers to this issue.

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Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 5

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:29:37 AM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I wish I had answers like the others. I know it is a major thing to feel as though you are pleasing her, but for now if she cannot orgasm I would tell her it was "ok" so she would not feel guilty for not being able to please you. After all it isn't her fault.. She is lucky to have a dominant in her life that cares so much for her pleasure and wellbeing.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 6

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:33:12 AM

SusanofO

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I have had uni-polar (as opposed to bi-polar) genetic (chemically based, runs in my family) classified as (mostly) "severe" depression for most of my adult life. I have been taking anti-depressants for over 25 years, and will take them until I die, probably. It really hasn't affected my life in any significant way, since I found anti-depressants that work for me. My life is normally like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting, and has been for many years. I am happy and like my life. And my depressions were severe, can't-hardly-move; don't-want-to-get-out-of- bed, ever-again, and want-basically-just-to-die type depressions, (as opposed to "feeling a bit down" for awhile).

If she recently just began taking them, you may want to check the label, or ask a pharmacist about this but: My general impression is that - many anti-depressants take 3 weeks to start working well, and having a noticeable effect as far as lifting anyone's depression. So, give it a couple weeks, at least, to help lift any lack of interest in sex. Depression and sex do not mix well at all (as you have discovered, it sounds like). My hat is off to you for helping her through this.

The good news is - depression is almost always completely treatable. So, please hang in there, hug her, and reassure her you care about her (even though it might be a tad difficult some days). She will really appreciate it, I'll bet. I know it's hard to maybe realize you can't do much to help - but the one thing you can do is not abandon her in her hour of need (and it doesn't sound like you will). Good guy.

**Her not orgasming has (my guess) nothing to do with your sex appeal as a Dominant, and everything to do with her depression. Depression isn't all in someone's head - there are definite physical affects that go with it, and lack of interest in sex, and-or an inability to oragsm, is sometimes one of those things.

**I take an anti-depressant called Serzone (and have for many years), specifically for the reason that it is one I tried that does not inhibit (at all) sexual response. I think that's generally true, too, not just how if affected me in particular.

Unfortunately, it's (supposedly) being taken off the market in the future, but I think it is still available, and am sure that pharmacuetical manufacturers know this is an un-wanted side effect of many of the anti-depressants, and know I have heard that some don't cause sexual dysfunction. Ask a pharmacist, to find out for certain (or a doctor, or a nurse, maybe). Wish I could help more. But someone will be able to help you, I am sure.

**The meds do need time to work (it shouldn't be more than a few weeks, at most). If she is still having problems then, they could be the wrong anti-depressants for her, or, somethng else maybe, is wrong. But - I'd stay hopeful her meds will work, but make sure she is on an anti-depressant known to not have sexual inhibition side affects - they are defnitiely available).

**I think I remember reading an ad in a magazine that stated that Zoloft (brand name) doesn't affect sex drive or response either - but you might want to double check that with a medical expert (pharmacist, doctor, nurse). Good luck.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/24/2006 11:32:33 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 7

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:34:43 AM

Gauge

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Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Has anyone found a means to counteract this kind of induced sexual dysfunction, short of reducing dosages or changing the meds?

Sexual dysfunction is very common to those on anti-depressants. The only real way to deal with it is to speak with your doctor and find out what can be done. They might be able to change the medication to one in the same 'family' of anti-depressants that will act just like the one they are taking but have reduced sexual effects. The bad news is that it might take some time until the problem gets solved so patience is required. Don't get frustrated and feel that you have to live with the side effects.

Reporting to your doctor side effects that cause problems is important.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 8

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 10:56:42 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
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From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

**I think I remember reading an ad in a magazine that stated that Zoloft (brand name) doesn't affect sex drive or response either - but you might want to double check that with a medical expert (pharmacist, doctor, nurse). Good luck.

Zoloft killed my ability to orgasm totally. ~shrug~ Maybe I'm just prone to that kind of side effect.

Thus far, Welbutrin has been the leaset invasive in terms of reactions for me.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 9

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 11:00:27 AM

scottjk

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Joined: 4/18/2005
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Thanks for the support gang.

I didn't want to add too many details to the situation because I didn't want violate privacy rights, but some clarification is needed. She's a recovering alcoholic and addict and has been clean for quite a few years. She's been on the anti-depressant for some years and has found the right dosages for her. She's not overly concerned about the orgasm, and pretty much resigned to live with the difficulties, and does infact enjoy the arousal. (Talk about a trooper) She doesn't feel it's a failure, and I don't either (again, thanks for the support). However, I would like to be able to give this to her, especially during play, and because of the fact that she's looking to me for guidence in her initial foray into this kind of play.

One thought playing through my head is that I should try to build up the arousal slowly over time to very high if not extreme levels so that an orgasm is inevitable. Another is that perhaps she could 'relearn' how to have orgasms. Yet another is that I could introduce a placebo claiming it's an herbal remedy of some kind.

Susan, thank you for the suggested anti-depressant, I'll ask her if it's been tried or if she might be oversensitive to it. That's one of the issues is that she has some certain chemical sensitivies. :)

If anyone else has some ideas, no matter how wild, I'd like to hear them. I'll give them all serious consideration.

Again, don't worry about us too much in terms of our sense of failure. :) We both look at it as a challange and are in good humor. :)

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 10

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 11:03:47 AM

SusanofO

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Okay, nix on the Zoloft. It can be an individual reaction, but listen to Angelic because some meds have a better rep for allowing sexual response to be uninhibited than others, and I am just not sure. I'd check with a pharmacist as well.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/24/2006 11:53:57 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 11

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 11:14:22 AM

SusanofO

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Joined: 12/19/2005
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Well it sounds like both of you have an adult handle on the situation. My hat if off to you both. Maybe she can learn to have orgasms. Anything is possible, I'd bet. Might not hurt to try that out. You sound like a real stand up guy for being willing to re-teach her how, and good luck to you both.

It might not surprise you to discover (if you didn't know already, which you might) that many people with depression can resort to alcohol abuse, because they can walk around feeling like serious cra_ much of the time, and then can do what is called "self-medicating" just to try to find a little relief. Alcohol is one way to self-medicate. It's kinda sad, but understandable (to me) - I can see how it happens (I've done it myself). It's great she is recovering from that (so am I, btw). My life is wonderful now, and has been, for the most part (compared to what it could have been like) for well over 20 years. I worked hard to make sure it turned out that way, too. And I had tons of support. It's good she has you.

Despite severe depression stealing at least five (intermittent) years of my adult life, I graduated Magna Cum Laude from college (w/ a B.A. in Business), got the highest paying job in my graduating class in the Marketing department of the Business school at the University I attended, was a middle level Marketing Research Manager for a very large corporation, and then held some other mid-level line positions in Marketing Research and Development at a medium-sized and a smaller company. I also did free-lance work in that area. I was married for 15 years, have a wondeful immediate family, many good friends, sweet pets, hobbies I truly enjoy, do rewarding volunteer work, and I really wouldn't change anything about my life (except maybe my marriage, but that is over now anyway). But - If anyone would have told me that was even possible when I was twenty years old, I never would have believed them, probably. Eventually, as it sound like she discovered herself, with this kind of thing, one realizes either it wins, or you take control of it as much as is feasible, and don't let it eat you alive.

The following comment might not sound very encouraging, but when I started taking anti-depressants (back in the late 1970's) the side effects seemed to be much worse than they are now. I must have tried 7 different ones before I found one that worked well. And I know I am not alone in having that experience. Some worked okay, just not as optimally as they could have so that I could envision spending the rest of my life taking them. That phenomenon can occur today, also.
If she has been taking one that is not working at as high a level as it could be - perhaps she could switch meds. But I am not recommending that, per se, because I dont':

1) Know her or her situation or her body, and -

2). I am not doctor or a pharmacist.

But, even though anti-depressant meds have improved considerably over the past two decades, there is a chance she could maybe find a better one for herself. It can be a bitch to switch meds, but it can also be worth the trouble. Maybe she could see a doctor if she feels the same way, or you could bring up the possibility.

Maybe - check on a medical website and read up on various anti-depressants. I think you can also find a PDR online (Physician's Desk Reference, it lists prescription meds, and their general side effects). Look for one with no sexual side effects.

*Wish I had another suggestion, but I don't. Someone else may, though. I am sure others will write in. There are also doctors and nurses who are on Collarme as members, and one of them may answer. Check back on this thread, and see what happens.

Good luck.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/24/2006 12:10:50 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 12

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 12:26:38 PM

SusanofO

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Well, I just did a bit of online research on your behalf, and it seems Wellbutrin is the non-sexual side effect, anti-depresssant drug of choice these days. And apparently, Serzone is stilll being (selectively) marketed, so that is an option (if you can find it) My own doctor has a stash of it, apparently.

I also read that some doctors suggest a patient take Buspar, a drug apparently known to reverse sexual side effects of other drugs (like an anti-depressant that causes sexual response inhibition) in some folks - which means they can keep taking the same anti-depressant medication and just take Buspar, too, and perhaps have the anti-depressant sexual side effects reversed. But, I have to say that this approach sounds sort of like double jeopardy to me. Things can get kinda complicated when people start tossing drugs in and out together in a body this way (but my opinion on this is rabidly biased).

I also remember taking Buspar myself, and in the words of Nancy Reagan, highly recommend that you: "Just say NO". The side effects of it (as I recall) more than cancelled out the (supposed) "benefits". However, things may have changed since then, and everyone is different. Good luck.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/24/2006 12:29:22 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 13

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 12:46:35 PM

peasantsub

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Status: offline

i'm also bi-polar and have suffered the same problem. i am on Lamictal and Lexapro and find reaching orgasm is very difficult. It does have it's benifits. It allows us to play longer and more intense, and once i reach orgasm, it is mind blowing for me. The one draw back to this is sometimes my partner is worn out by the time i reach orgasm and that ends our play time.

Positive thought and reinforcement will make You both feel better and if i may suggest intense forplay with toys is a good way to go, it has allowed my partner to last longer and pushes me higher in the clouds. Good luck

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 14

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 12:59:00 PM

hisforever

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Joined: 7/8/2006
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I have borderline personality disorder (ever see girl, interupted, yup, thats me LOL only a bit milder) prozac keeps me in order, functioning and no sexual dysfunction. Celexa on the other hand, watch out, made me nuts and NO sexdrive what so ever. The only thing, unfortunetly, the doc told me I could do was change meds. I went right to this one, so I dont know about the others thus far. Sorry I couldnt be of more help!

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RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/24/2006 7:57:54 PM

dsalphabunny

Posts: 33
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something else to consider... i am the kind of person who has difficulty with the big O in general, not because of any meds. what has worked for my Master and i is a long slow build up most time and then experimenting with lots of other types of play to see what helped. it is possible that a shift in focus (ie anal play or something different) can bring the O back into play.

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 16

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/25/2006 7:26:49 PM

popeye1250

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From: New Hampshire
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I was "self medicating" with alchohol for years as well. I was also diagnosed with Bi-Polar disease which was certainly made worse by the alchohol and still do have trouble sleeping now but Lithium does keep me on an even keel and helps with the sleep although I do still tend to wake up very early in the mornings for a bit before going back to sleep.
I still do have a very low grade depression but it must be totally chemically based as I have a life that most people would love to have, no issues or anything like that.
I was taking Mirtazipine for a while but I was sleeping for 12 hours per day on it, not good so I got off it.
I find that excercise is also good for low grade depression as I feel pretty good after 40 minutes of work on a treadmill and then weightlifting.
Back in the 80's I was taking a drug and a main side affect of it was priapism (prolonged erection lasting more than 4 hours) which I never got! I forget the name of it.
One thing I never had from psycho tropic drugs was any type of sexual disfunction.
If I take Actifed for a cold or sinises it kind of makes me horny for some reason! I start getting "aroused" for no reason. I don't know what that's all about but I like it.
I get a kick out of that commercial that warns about "getting an erection longer than four hours - see a doctor", if I got an erection that lasted for longer than four hours I'd be thanking God! A doctor is the* last* thing I'd be looking for!
I guess women's sexuality if much different than a man's. I can remember being very sick like with Flu or something and being horny and still having to "relieve myself" with a 102 temp.
I've always had a very high sex drive all my life for some reason, I don't know why, not that I'm complaining or anything.
When I was in my teens and twenties I had to "relieve myself" about 5 or 6 times per day. I must have had Athlete's Ass from sitting on the toilet in the bathroom so much.
Scott, you're doing a good job by sticking by your lady! Try some of the suggestions that the posters here have suggested, toys, changing meds etc. And Susan is right too they do take about 3 weeks before they start kicking in.
You might also try a more powerfull vibrator to see if that
helps out.
They're making progress in medicines for depression by the month now so things are getting better for those of us who suffer from this disease.
Susan, I'm very impressed at all of the above!

(in reply to dsalphabunny)

Post #: 17

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/25/2006 7:37:49 PM

sweetnurseBBW

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From: North Carolina
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Some meds dont have the sexual side effects but it might not be what works for here. Some meds work for some and not others. The market is extensive out there on antidepressants that do not have sexual side effects. The best thing to do is have her discuss this with her physcian and decide the best course. Good luck to you.

(in reply to scottjk)

Post #: 18

RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/25/2006 8:29:35 PM

KatyLied

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I am curious as to how much of an issue this is with her. If it's a big issue, she should ask her doc about changing meds. Of course changes meds and finding one that works can take awhile. I think the window is 4-6 weeks for most of them to fully work, and a bit beyond to be sure of the side-effects. On the other hand, if trouble/lack of orgasm is something she is adjusting to and she is doing well on her meds, perhaps there are other ways for you to adjust to her situation. Enjoy the intimacy and don't have a narrow focus on her orgasm. I hope all works out for you.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

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RE: anti-depressants and sexual dysfunction - 7/26/2006 2:44:27 AM

scottjk

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Joined: 4/18/2005
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This isn't just for her or me. This is a VERY common problem. I started the thread so that others can chime in, offer things that worked for them, or whatever. This thread is intented to be a brainstorm generator for everyone to take advantage of. :)

Today, assuming that changing meds will be a major issue, we hit the bookstore and checked out the sexuality section, picked out a few books that looked interesting and we're going over them together (when possible). She loves the stimulation without the orgasm so she's okay with that. :)

But, if it's possible, with a little effort, I'd like her to have this gift. If we can't, we'll be okay with it.

So, let's brainstorm. Your ideas might not help my situation, but it might help some one else's. :)

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 20

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