RE: A question for female subs...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: A question for female subs...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: A question for female subs...

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/25/2006 11:18:38 PM

Sasy

Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarkWilliam

If you had a choice, would you remain submissive, or would you prefer to be something else?

Aside of the lack of Tera Firma at times I would remain who I am

(in reply to MarkWilliam)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/26/2006 2:05:40 AM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

Why would I want to change it? I'm very happy with who I am.

Being submissive feels perfectly natural to me and doesn't create any particular issues in my life. I'm complete, and perfect, just the way I am, flaws and all.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to MarkWilliam)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/26/2006 7:44:54 AM

PiggyPuta

Posts: 38
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

i dabbled a bit as a switch and that was exactly when i realized that i am and will always be a submissive...i find my most inner peace being a submissive and have no more desires to be anything else.

piggyputa

(in reply to MarkWilliam)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/26/2006 10:28:08 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

Allow me to ramble a bit...*smile

The question just sparked this to flow out of me...lol

Personally, how i choose to interact within a relationship does not determine my identity as a person. Whether i am with someone or alone, i will still be me, and i will still have the same desires in a partner as i always had. i am not defined by my interests or desires, but rather by my line of personal integrity, merit and self worth, no matter what i choose to involve myself in.

i guess i am strange here, but i view my submissive nature within a relatonship as just an inherant character trait. It was just a natural progression for me, before i even realized there was truly a category, subculture or label for it. It is just my normal way of being and interacting. Before i became aware of the lifestyle nomenclatures, i never thought twice about it or questioned that part of me. So i really don't consider myself defined by being labeled vanilla, slave, or otherwise. i use those labels as a convenience for discussion and clarity. i seek to find others who bring me happiness and vice versa, and finding another whose energy resonates with that of my own.

If i met a "nilla" guy who was naturally dominant, it wouldn't make a difference whether he embraced the labels and titles of this lifestyle or not. As long as the two of us clicked, and felt mutually fulfilled with one another, for me, that is all that matters.

i will say though, that my natural inclinations were heightened when i was introduced to this subculture many years ago before it was ever online and had all these definitions, it was more primitive in nature back then. *grin. Some may call it old school, or old guard, but for me, it was a biker gang, and i had to pass intiations to be "his" girl, and if i didn't obey his directives, punishments were in order, and i liked that.

i have always desired a man who made me WANT to obey him because he left me no other alternative. i desired a man who was stronger and smarter than i was; a man who challenged me; a man who had the mental and emotional capacity to understand me and tame me. i was like this since i was a young girl. i never questoined "why" i liked it, but rather just went with the flow and with what ever turned me on and made me feel good. As a teenager, i always attracted and seemed to gravitate toward dominant men. Not because i had a focused desire to "be" a slave, or find only men who identified with the "Master" label, but rather because i simply got along better with those type of guys.

i was never attracted to a man who was weaker in character or self confidence than myself. That is just a personal preference, and i don't see it as defining my core identity. Being associated with the lifestyle helps, but i have met men who had no idea that this lifestyle exists, who still exhibited the qualities i found attractive, to pull out the best in me, which included a natural state of submission to male leadership and authority in the relationship.

As far as living another life or becoming someone else, well...i make no distinctions between vanilla and lifestyle, for i see it only as a matter of personal preference. i'm happy with the person i am today.

However...

i would love to have supernatural powers, that show comes to mind, years ago that starred Linda Carter as Isis, and have her strength and powers. i would love to be able to really and truly think of myself as a successful entreprenuer. (still floundering in that arena! *smile) i would love to live the life of being able to travel and experience the world. i would love to have the resources to help others find a leg up and better their living conditions and themselves. i would love to ride on the back of Pegasis (my favorite horse). i would love to be able to fly like that too! i would enjoy being a mystical character for a while and have that experience and what it may represent...thinking...it would be nice to be thought of as a fairy godmother at times, bringing much happiness to others...hehehe...i would love to master the "force" and kick some mean ass! *grin

Okay...enough rambling...*smile Thank you to those who got to the end of this! *wink

~raiken

(in reply to MarkWilliam)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/26/2006 11:58:33 AM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

angel dear, by this time next you you very well could be a talented and famous novelist. Then I can go on Opra and say I saw your bellybutton muahahahahaha

hehe Love ya

You brat you!

Once I stopped laughing *s* Your optimism knows no bounds lol

Hmmm I think the National Enquirer would pay more........You looked at my belly button? perv

denika
(putting her hands over her belly button) *s*

(in reply to akisha)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/27/2006 2:50:48 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

What can i say, I have a thing for belly buttons. they fasinate me and they are soo fun to play with *S*

It was only a lil peek honest.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to denika)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/27/2006 6:19:19 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

fast reply.....
I'm me with who ever I meet. If I'm met with the right chemistry I'm Submissive as I prefer. But most of the time that chemistry isnt there, and I'm just Me. So, I'll pick being me, it's alot more fun that way.

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to agirl)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/28/2006 12:03:17 AM

cacodylic

Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
Status: offline

I'd prefer to be satisfied... but, of course, I'm just one of those 'do-me' subs

(in reply to MarkWilliam)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/28/2006 12:48:46 AM

grneyedgirl

Posts: 65
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

I don't think i'd want to change... not sure i could.. i'm just me.. either you like it or... you don't =-smiles=-

_____________________________

*A subby -always- has the last word in any arguement.. YES MASTER*

(in reply to cacodylic)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: A question for female subs... - 7/28/2006 6:27:59 AM

mewmew

Posts: 37
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline

if i could choose to be an awesome possum (rich, ridiculously talented, &c.), and wouldn't miss my former self? sure, why not? but otherwise...

i like being me. :) i know i'm not a typical sub...at least, not the kind that many card-carrying domly-types would be happy with, i don't think. for example, i have some switch tendencies (sometimes i like the idea of starting out on top, lightly so, and then being completely overthrown and utterly dominated, whee!). more, i'm not a hardcore masochist (the community seems to place a high premium on mega pain tolerance), nor am i what you'd call natural slave material (i admire fulltime TPEs, but it'll take the right guy and a long courtship to get close to that point for me). to boot, my primary goals are love and marriage, with Dude's "Dom" credentials being of secondary importance (i'd like to avoid too much reliance on bdsm, frankly). obviously, i'm going to fall for a guy who's protective and not afraid of taking the lead, but if he isn't familiar with the lifestyle, there there may be a gap to bridge when it comes to my worshipful effusions, kneeling, bondage wishes, and odd little alteregos. ;) this conundrum stuff may make it hard for me to find the right match, but that's okay. as others in this thread have mentioned, we don't need to be a bunch of interchangeable pairs.

to an extent, i agree that everyone in society is a bit of an outsider. however, i'm also of the mind that some people have much less of a struggle (whether it's real or hypothetical...some care, others don't) when it comes to reconciling their submissiveness (or other uniqueness) with the outside world's elusive normalcy standards. like agirl, i don't consider myself "nonvanilla" in the first place, though i'm not exactly your average girl, either. i know my ex husband was very uncomfortable with my adoring and eager-to-please innergirl, and he was downright bothered by my clingy kitten alterego and rough bedroom games. but i don't think my general philosophical approach to D/s is terribly incompatible with traditional American couplehood values, for lack of a better description. take out the bdsm-ish stuff (i'm relatively unkinky compared to most of you, i'm sure), and i'm simply a worshipful, barfoot-and-preggers kind of 1950s housewife-wannabe. as others have stated - perhaps here at cc, and certainly elsewhere - M/f D/s can be incredibly compatible with the mainstream relationship ideal of eras past, particularly when you set it apart from bdsm activities. throwback couples may bug some folks, but most "vanilla" people i know seem to think they're quaint/cute/oldfashioned/whatever, rather than freaky and weird. ;)

anyway, hope that made sense. :)

< Message edited by mewmew -- 7/28/2006 6:30:45 AM >

(in reply to grneyedgirl)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: A question for female subs... - 8/2/2006 8:30:54 AM

MarkWilliam

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Makes very good sense mewmew.

Thanks to you and everyone else who so wholeheartedly threw themselves headlong into this thread, it's been a truly wondrous journey to read through it all.

Thanks again.

Mark William

(in reply to mewmew)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: A question for female subs... - 8/2/2006 8:55:05 AM

JessieMe

Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

I was a switch with high Dominant tendencies.. until I realized what I was doing was not fulfilling me in a meaningful way..

I have chosen to be submissive / slave and to only tap into my Dominant mode when friends are asking for advice. (which is great fun)

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to MarkWilliam)

Profile

Post #: 52