needlesandpins -> RE: If your mom or dad chose to transition into an opposite gender in their old age (4/28/2017 8:53:29 AM)
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With my son, his dad and I were splitting up. His dad lied to him telling him I was the one having an affair with the guy who had started out as OUR playmate. I wasn't. Our son new about said playmate as a friend of ours only. I said I was still going to see him, but that it would be something more, just on a casual basis. That there was a lot more to, but that there were things I didn't really want to talk about with my 15 year old son right at that time, and things I didn't think were my place to tell him. Being the person I am I was still protecting his father, who most certainly had been having an affair. I told him though that when I thought he was old enough to understand it all I'd tell him everything. His dad then lied to him, and told him I'd been having an affair with my playmate all along, and this is why he'd done what he had. My son wouldn't speak to me for two weeks. That's how long it took for me to get it out of him what his dad had said. I reminded him of what I'd said originally, asked him if he remembered me saying that, and he said yes. I explained that it was hard for me as his Mum, because I was trying to protect him in a really bad situation, and protect his relationship with his Dad. How much do you tell a 15yr old without it seeming like you're trying to manipulate their feelings. He's not a child, but he's not exactly a man either. I gave him the choice, I protect you like my child, and you accept that I edit things, or a treat you like an adult, and you accept that sometimes it's going to be too much information. Also though, if you accept being treated like an adult it works both way, you don't get to keep secrets and edit things either. I told him to think very carefully about what he wanted. He chose to be treated like an adult, so I told him everything. I asked him if he understood things, or if he wanted to ask questions, but he just said it was all fine. For three years he wouldn't accept anything his Dad said. One day his Dad stopped him in the street and had a go at him. Told him that he was only ever listening to my side of the story, that he had things he could tell him. I said that maybe he ought to meet him in a public place and hear him out. He said he didn't need to. He knew that I'd told the truth, but that every time he opened his mouth it was bullshit. I was curious, after all, he'd been adamant about this for three years, how? Turned out that when I'd found out about everything and thrown his Dad out, our son had sat on the stairs and heard everything we'd said to each other [:(] He said he hadn't understood a lot of it, didn't know what was going on, right until I'd told him, and I'd told him everything. We are exceptionally close. We're friends, and we hang out a lot. It's not just him that hangs out with me, but his friends do too. Many of his friends call me Mum, and one in particular tells me 'Love you, bye' as he leaves. I have a step-son too, and I've always had a very close relationship with him. I'm betting I know far more about his life than his own Dad. Needles
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