Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Ever wonder?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Ever wonder? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 3:02:38 AM   
DXismyway


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Has anyone else ever wondered if they are really submissive?  Has anyone ever felt something akin to stone in their heart when their BDSM relationship doesn't work out?  I find myself feeling switchy and like I wish I could have someone to Top, but I am so far from ready for that.

Anyone else ever have these feeling?  (yes, my profile says I am a switch, but deep down inside, I am truely sub, just haven't found my right One, yet, but prospects are promising.)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 6:42:12 AM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		No, I'm a submissive, no doubt about it. I can't say that I have a penchant for being a switch, but I do get to play the role occasionally in our 3somes.  It's a fun *game* for me, but I am still a submissive.  In fact, sometimes it's a bit of a chore because I feel like an emotional sandwich caught between two entities that want from me... Sir is dominating me, while the little one needs me to dominate her.  I get a little antsy at first, when we start scening because I know what it's going to feel like, but when I get into the 'role' I am good.

But you are really asking two questions here, and I am not sure exactly what you mean by: "Has anyone ever felt something akin to stone in their heart when their BDSM relationship doesn't work out?"  Is this about a failed relationship, failed expectations or your feelings of being a switch?



_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to DXismyway)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 8:14:58 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		i feel extremely dominant when i am angry...i am a redheaded italian irish girl who is nto afraid to vent and it has gotten me into trouble many a time because respectful speaking goes right out the window as does forgetting my place when things are ending.....even if i am the one doing the ending for whatever reason.....i am a slave bit i am still a bitch .perhaps i havent been properly tamed yet*shrugs* who knows.

i started out in this lifestyle as a Domme and i was so unhappy it sucked...altho the sex was good...the bedroom is probably the only place i do enjoy having power sometimes.....i much prefer being bound than binding ...i do not enjoy the mental aspects of Dominating others i prefer to be controlled....yet...........

(in reply to DXismyway)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 8:25:11 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		I don't feel very submissive when someone says, You don't seem very submissive. Then I feel like slapping them.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 8:25:17 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have never questioned the fact that i am a submissive.  Sure i lose my temper sometimes (grins at fyrered) antothr Irish/Italian girl here.  Never with Master though.  I was born submissive and until i foumd my Mentor i did not understand why i always wanted to take care of others.  So to answer the question no i have never wondered.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to fyreredsub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 8:43:53 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		LOL, me too! Me too! Sexy Red that is too funny (and true, for me anyway).

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 10:25:40 AM   
Kagesuta


Posts: 36
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Da Druben
Status: offline 		I've wondered, sure. And I think I've come to the understanding that being submissive (for me, at least) doesn't apply to everything. There are times when one has to take charge, be it at school, work, or sometimes even in the bedroom. For you to want that when you're feeling disappointed, angry, or betrayed is just part of human nature; it can be a means of getting out frustration, and reaffirming your inner-strength. Like one of those weird stress-relieving rubber squeezie clowns or whatever the hell they're supposed to be.

It doesn't mean you aren't a sub, just that you're human.


_____________________________

Remember, there are always more fish in the sea. And women, too, if you aren't into fish.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 12:44:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most people, if they make it to 5 years, will go through at least one serious period of self examination and re-figuring how they work within Ds, reaffirming themselves or changing themselves.  It's part of life and growth.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DXismyway)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/27/2006 2:36:10 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		i know i am submissive, i have always been, but i am also a sadist and might like to top somone, but not order anyone around.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/29/2006 11:12:05 AM   
asiandoll27


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		No doubt in my mind I am a submissive and definately not the Domme type. Its not for me to demand or to tell others, and have no thought of being a switch. Its just my nature to be submissive and obey.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/30/2006 2:25:54 PM   
DXismyway


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		I think you've hit it with this statement.  The reaffermation of inner strength is what is needed when I feel hurt or betrayed.  When the One I look to for guidance fails to promote that inner strength, it's time to walk away.  DX

(in reply to Kagesuta)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/30/2006 5:02:35 PM   
mellian


Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline 		I have no doubts that I am a submissive, just feel like haven't proven myself to be one yet.

-mellian


_____________________________

Since my pic link doesn't work, here is my profile:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/50276/details.htm

(in reply to DXismyway)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/30/2006 5:16:22 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		fast reply.... I think there's a little Switch in all of us.
All comes down to what feeds you.  I have no desire
to Top in the least.  That stone is what I've felt when
faced with knowing I could Top............... sigh

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to mellian)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/30/2006 5:36:40 PM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		I never doubted that I was a submissive. I just needed to figure out how far I would go in my submissive nature, or what my limits were. I could never be 24/7 because I like to make decisions for myself  day to day, and when someone is wrong...or not being honest...I normally confront it head on instead of just accepting.

I think questioning yourself is just the path of growth and it's all good.


_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to DXismyway)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Ever wonder? - 7/30/2006 10:39:58 PM   
TheShadows


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline 		Yes, I had that feeling, and I ran with it....after 4 years as a "submissive".  I decided to stop living a lie and be my true self, which is Dominant.  My best advice to you would be to do some really hard soul-searching to figure out whether this is just a phase because of a relationship gone wrong, or if Topping is something you really need to feel whole.  I think if you're honest with yourself, and you do what makes you happy, and what's in your gut, you can't go too far astray.

Best of luck,
MrsShadows

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to DXismyway)
Profile   Post #: 15
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Ever wonder? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094