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RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 2:47:52 PM   
planomaid


Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Ask yourself this question - what does slavery mean to you?  If you can answer that question, you'll probably be able to answer the rest.

Each person is going to have a different personalized concept of what it means to be a slave, to wear a collar, and to serve.   Since you serve not 1, but 2 dominants, you are going to have to take each of their views under consideration.  Mistress Slob may not care whatsoever for the issues you speak of.  To her you are there to make her life better, and if you get anything out of it too, then good for you.  Mistress #2 may or may not support your views, side with Mistress Slob, or have her own diverging issues that you must also deal with.

As a side note, you say that you are collared and are a slave.  While that means a lot of different things to different people, I think there are certain truisms that are generally accepted.  The first is that you have agreed to subjugate yourself to someone else.  The second is that the freedoms you enjoyed as a non-collared man, like having privacy in your email, are usually considerably reduced while you wear their collar.  An it can be a struggle adapting to those things. 

By the way, how long have you been in their collar?

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 2:52:26 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		How do you correct this? Uhh, you don't. You're the slave, they're the dominants. Either their style of dominance is compatible with your style of slavery or it isn't. Sounds like it isn't.  This isn't an egalitarian relationship and they are showing you what they expect from you. Either you are willing to tolerate it or not. Sure, you can bring it up to them but trying to think of ways to correct it is well beyond the scope of your station in the relationship, IMO. 

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 3:03:05 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedmaleone
I am collared to a domme/domme couple. My problem is this, one of them is just inconsiderate. I take care of the house and yard and care for them both. I am the only slave. One of them throws their dirty clothes on the floor and never picks them up even though a hamper is ten feet away. This same one, lets call her #2, leaves the pink wrappers her kotex come in on bathroom floor sometimes, before she just stuffed them in whatever was handy until i asked her to quit.Her beer bottles stay where she had them, her hair brush stays full of hair, if she cleans it she waits to hand it to me, but if it sets with hair in it she says it is nasty.

I can be in the middle of a job and she will just stand and yell my name rather than come get me or get whatever herself. Now i do serve but if i am changing the oil in her car i find it excessive that she expects me to stop and clean up to get her a beer. It is not like she works or anything.

I've caught her reading my email replies to my other Mistress i do not know why she does this, it is not like they are a big secret, i just find it rude.


Up until this point my reaction was, "yeah, and the problem is???"  My Lord throws his clothes on the floor, leaves trash for alandra and I to pick up, has us get his drinks and clean up his glass when he is done, reads our email, even wakes us up in the middle of the night to get him a drink, etc. etc.  Neither alandra nor I have any issue with doing this and mostly enjoy doing these things.  We are there to serve him at his convenience and not at ours.

quote:


IF my other Mistress tells me to do a job she goes right behind her and tells me to do it another way, her way, i feel like i am in the middle of a power struggle.


This is the only thing that makes me wonder.  They should both be on the same page as far as expectations go.  How much of this though is just your perception because you are unhappy serving one of them?

quote:


What do you think? How do i correct this stuff?


Figure out why you are in the relationship and why they want you in the relationship.  There seems to be a mismatch of expectations between what they want from you and what you want to give.  If you are unwilling to provide them with what they want from a slave, then time to end the relationship.  If you are willing to provide it, then do the work.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 3:20:31 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		1. Don't listen to idiots who think there are no standards for how to treat a slave. Amayos talks like he would treat a slave any old way, but he wouldn't. He knows that slaves need inspiration and a guiding example they can respect and admire.

2. You've gotta love pissdoll, who gets right to the point. There really is no defense for laziness and being a slob, no matter what one's role is.

3. I once served a Domme who was a borderline slob. I served as her maid for about three (3) months. I communicated two things to her to inspire her to be more conscientious: (1) I indicated that I could get more done and do a better job if things weren't let go too much; (2) I indicated that I had more fun and satisfaction doing "respectable" housework as opposed to housework of the "fratboys just left" variety.

My situation improved as a result.

In my case, I had a part time gig (2x a week), and I think her initial sloppiness was a test of my devotion and work ethic. All in all, I enjoyed my slave-zone on such terms, but I must confess that being a 24-7 slave with a full menu of shit jobs and sloppy lazy Domme's to serve would suck. One might be better off in a NIKE factory somewhere.

Given your description of things, it sounds to me like you are serving some spoiled, low class, Harkonen women.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 7/27/2006 3:26:29 PM >

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 3:45:23 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedmaleone

I am collared to a domme/domme couple. My problem is this, one of them is just inconsiderate. I take care of the house and yard and care for them both. I am the only slave. One of them throws their dirty clothes on the floor and never picks them up even though a hamper is ten feet away. This same one, lets call her #2, leaves the pink wrappers her kotex come in on bathroom floor sometimes, before she just stuffed them in whatever was handy until i asked her to quit.Her beer bottles stay where she had them, her hair brush stays full of hair, if she cleans it she waits to hand it to me, but if it sets with hair in it she says it is nasty.

I can be in the middle of a job and she will just stand and yell my name rather than come get me or get whatever herself. Now i do serve but if i am changing the oil in her car i find it excessive that she expects me to stop and clean up to get her a beer. It is not like she works or anything.

I've caught her reading my email replies to my other Mistress i do not know why she does this, it is not like they are a big secret, i just find it rude.

IF my other Mistress tells me to do a job she goes right behind her and tells me to do it another way, her way, i feel like i am in the middle of a power struggle.

I have spoken to Mistress #1 who cannot see what #2 does, if i bring any of it up i am wrong.

Being the domme does not mean you know everything does it?

What do you think? How do i correct this stuff?


This is a first post?

From Alaska?

Look pal; I'm sorry the whole move-to-Los-Angeles-and-be-a-rich-if-not-famous-script-writer thing isn't taking shape as quickly as you had hoped, but is that really sufficient justification to put on a fake moustache and French Maid's outfit and cruise in here mining dialog and plot twists for your new sit-com concept where {insert OP here}?

It isn't as though the denizens here wouldn't inudate you with all sorts of juicy material just for the asking.

So I'm guessing you're targeting a cable market, right? Whom do you see in the lead? I hear John Stamos is looking for a come-back on the coat-tails of that ska band which is touring under his name.


Heyyy now. Far be it from me to hijack (hijack something so innocuous anyway) but that might be a nice theme for an Off Topic thread. "What three actors would you cast in a new TV comedy based on the original post from this thread?"

Feel free to spice things up by characterizing and casting their landlord too. I suppose you could just get the guy from that old Suzannes Sommers/John Ritter show--if he isn't dead yet--and leave him in that character. I am hoping for something more original though.

But come on. Alaska? Even TV writers are expected to have some tiny little bone of originality somewhere in their bodies.

Alright now. Which one of you service types will be a good enough girl to get this other thread going for us?

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 5:35:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

  Sure, you can bring it up to them but trying to think of ways to correct it is well beyond the scope of your station in the relationship, IMO. 

I'd disagree with that.

If someone comes to me with an issue- the very first thing I always ask is what THEY think a good solution is.  I don't like people who just complain, or who just have problems.  I expect them to have thought it through at least enough to know that they can't figure out the next step.  I'd appreciate someone giving some suggestions and solutions.

That doesn't mean "the slave solves the problem."  It means everyone works together to solve the problem.  Relationships are created and maintained by EVERYONE in them- no matter whether they have the authority or not.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 5:59:31 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Don't listen to idiots who think there are no standards for how to treat a slave.


I don't think any said "idiots" are implying there are no standards—just that they are not as litigious as some would make them out to be.


quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
Amayos talks like he would treat a slave any old way, but he wouldn't. He knows that slaves need inspiration and a guiding example they can respect and admire.


Though I partially agree, I feel your paradigm of standards for slavery may be somewhat cart before the horse. From my perspective, it is a slave's internalized identity and selfless adoration which allows it to be treated any old way. In his or her journey, the slave has stepped under and through a gateway of consenting to non-consent. It is the gravest of living sacrifices to undertake, to be embarked upon with due reflection and knowledge of forethought on the very nature of the term. It is not a continual system of validation where the "slave" mandates conditions of service based on points earned from the "owner".

As for me treating a slave any which way, I certainly do thus, but weighed with the knowledge that humans are mortal beings and can be stretched only so far. A slave is a wondrous and rare instrument to possess, working best as any machine would when well oiled.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 7:19:04 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		This is probably going to sound naive of me, and I am not meaning to sound self-congratulatory in any way (truly), and believe that communication in relationships can (sometimes) indeed make a difference as far as how happy people can be in them - but - I have to say that sometimes, when I read about people saying their (self-reported) high level  of "service" consists of things like: Getting breakfast for their Master at 6a.m., or doing another's laundry, or yardwork, or picking up dry cleaning, or cooking, or picking up cluttered rooms, etc. - when someone else seems to expect it, whether or not they themselves are in the mood to do those things - I find myself thinking: Gee, I did that stuff for 15 years, and I never actually considered it service, exactly - I just considered it being married.  

I realize there is much more to relationships than that (like the bdsm and sex portions) - but this implied (or directly stated) high level of service really doesn't seem to be all that much different (to me) than what a lot of other non-bdsm folk are probably doing daily, (or maybe I am missing something. If so, anyone is of course welcome to point out what that is). And, I do realize levels of service expected differ in each relationship.

I believe it also helps if you genuinely like the people you are in the relationship with (and I have been on both sides of that coin. You can not love everything they do and still like them generally (or not). Least I think so). But - of course, some people reveal a different side to themselves on a 24-7 basis than may have been previously seen, and maybe things can be discussed before they deteriorate? If all of you are invested in the relationship, then presumably it wouldn't be a problem to discuss such a situation? I don't know enough about what the relationship boundaries are like to be able to say. But, communicating your feelings in a diplomatic way, and seeing what transpires, seems worth a shot.

I can see the OP's point: Nobody likes a slob (well, maybe some do, and some don't  mind a lot. I am a bit of a neat freak and would maybe end up spraying them both with disinfectant in self-defense, or for their own good, or something. Not really - but close). Maybe take cloudboy's advice? Perhaps this is something that can be discussed with those involved - and see what happens?

The difference I see, between a bdsm situation and a vanilla marriage where people just seem to expect various and sundry things of eachother, might be (possibly) that the level of desire for doing service oriented things is more intense (or the expectation that they should be is implied, somehow),  or maybe the things that do end up getting done are all what a Master or Mistress desires - but sometimes, it really does not sound all that different to me than just housewifery,(or house-husbandry, take you pick), in many ways. Good luck.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/27/2006 8:14:08 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to planomaid)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 7:28:20 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		To the OP:

You call yourself a slave then whine because you're expected to serve?  Maybe you should lay out some limits if there are certain things that you cannot see yourself doing.  Otherwise pick up the pink wrappers, get her a coke, and do whatever else youre supposed to be doing to make their lives easier.  Is that so outside of the realm of what a slave does?  Gees, I picked up my ex's dirty laundry and brought his dirty dishes in from the living room and all that other crap, and I wasn't even his slave.  If this is the life you chose, then step up to the plate and handle the job.  

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 7:32:31 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I didn't read all the replies, but judging by the OP, I would love to trade spots with him...  I'll take the 2 Dommes who want me to work for them and take some form of sadistic pleasure out of making me stop changing oil and get them a beer, and he can have my luck with finding even one Mistress. 

Howzabout that?

If it bugs you, get out, but to me, that's what a service slave is about, no?

Actually, it reminds me of a question someone I know asked the potentials for a full time maid position they were hiring for (Vanilla domestic employee)

"If you had just cleaned, and we walked through the area with dirty shoes, what would you do?"
                     Correct answer being, "I would clean it."
"And if, just as you had cleaned it again, and we walked through again, what would you do?"
                     Correct answer being, "I would clean it."
"And if the same happened again?"

Someone at that point had apparently said, "I would seek a conversation with you about your habits."

Ummmmmm....  No.  The reason we have a maid is that we don't have to change our habits, and can effortlessly have a clean house, not so we can be trained on how to keep it clean.

Know your purpose there, then decide if that's what you want.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 7:38:23 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		cloudboy: I loved the Dune series of books, too. I spent a whole Summer reading it once. Those Harkonens were a scary bunch.

-Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 8:09:14 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Well said benji, and intrinsically true to the nature of service.

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 8:41:30 PM   
Veryfewcan


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/18/2005
Status: offline 		It sounds to me like you did not research the situation, before you accepted the collar. Now you are confused. What to do????
Time to prove your worth as a slave and take charge of the problem. You accepted a collar. That is a commitment to serve. To serve is to better the lives of the ones you serve. Time you quit whinning and start doing what you agreed to. If that means cleaning up after Domme 1, then so be it. I would find Her slobbishness as a challenge and strive to show Her a better way.
Through true service, you will find yourself doing many things that you disagree with. Show your honor as a slave and use that to teach.
Good Luck.

_____________________________

I used to be lost. I was wondering about all that???

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 8:48:26 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe I am just a fool, but - I can sympathize with someone being in, or finding themselves in, a situation that has turned into something they did not expect, or on some level have become disillusioned with. I have to say that, even with "research", that I have found myself in a situation or two in my life where things changed for the worse, (or perhaps just my perception of them changed, for whatever reason). Hasn't anyone else? Does it matter all that much whose fault it is, really? 

Sounds to me like maybe they all just need to have a talk together. Of course, doing that may or may not see things turn out "as expected". But, the alternative doesn't seem all that attractive - which is doing nothing (been there, too, in my own small way). Although I do think, depending on those involved, that option can work, or not, also.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/27/2006 9:00:33 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Veryfewcan)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 9:30:04 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Sounds to me like perhaps someone didn't know or wearn't informed as to what to expect in this relationship.
I like "service" too but the sub has to "enjoy" doing it for me and I get enjoyment out of it because (they) like doing it and I like watching them do it.
Make sense?
I'm fully capable of doing all the things around the house and I do because I live alone.
The term "Doormat" seems or maybe could apply to this thread.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/27/2006 10:07:50 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Though I would have to say the scene that your describing sounds like what goes on in alot(not all) male/female households on a daily basis with the woman doing all the chores/servicing/cleaning. I guess your getting a taste of what alot of us have bitched about over the years. It's not all fun.



You got that right!!

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 1:41:56 AM   
soldierfunuk


Posts: 56
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		I would just have to question how a Domme can look after a sub when she can't look after herself.



_____________________________

Property of Mistress Angel.
Please return if lost.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 2:07:10 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: soldierfunuk
I would just have to question how a Domme can look after a sub when she can't look after herself.

Looking after your dirt socks and use coke cans is hardly the same thing as being good at time management, emotional security and relationship skills.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to soldierfunuk)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 3:23:34 AM   
Rumtiger


Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline 		I'm with Pissdoll, Cloud and Soldierfunuk, I'm supposed to look up to my mistress, not see something which disgusts me.

< Message edited by Rumtiger -- 7/28/2006 3:28:09 AM >

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 3:29:02 AM   
soldierfunuk


Posts: 56
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline 		I suppose so, would'nt give me a nice warm fuzzy feeling though.

I guess they are both sort of getting what they want from the situation, it just would'nt work for me.

_____________________________

Property of Mistress Angel.
Please return if lost.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 40
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