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RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 4:33:32 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		If it upsets the original poster so much...leave. If the relationship is something that the poster wants to stay in ...shut up!



(in reply to soldierfunuk)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 5:08:59 AM   
confusedmaleone


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/27/2006
Status: offline 		I have read all your answers and feel the need to clarify.

I am responsible for and do very well at all the laundry, cooking, cleaning and yard work along with many other responsibilities. Nether of them does any work around the house nor do I expect them to.

There are two of them to take care of and only one of me.

Mistress 1 understands this and does do easy things to help. Mistress 2 apparently does not care about that.

I can be in the middle of a job for #1 and #2 will interrupt and expect me to drop whatever I am doing for her.

I was brought here for Mistress #1 with the understanding we would play by ear my feelings toward #2. I agreed to serve#2 and I do like her, sometimes she is very nice, but some of the behavior is like a spoiled child. I feel like I am being pushed to prove I will serve her and trust her and all that this willfulness is doing is push me away more.

When I arrived here Mistress 2 was not so slovenly, it has progressively gotten worse.

Before I arrived it was understood I would have time for myself. Except for when they or I am asleep I do not.

I do not think expecting Mistress 2 to use the clothes hamper and trash can to be asking too much, I expect that behavior from any adult. I really cannot abide a slob.

The statement I was given as to conflicting orders; if #1 tells me to do something and #2 changes it then it is on #2's head. Only it does not work that way, #1 gets angry and I hear it. Whatever needs to be fixed because of the change is not done by #2 but by me when my hands are already full. If she had simply let me do it the correct way the first time this would not happen.

Sex, I understood sex would be limited to #1 and I have no complaint in that area.

Mail, #1 knows #2 has all her email passwords, she also states she trusts her not to go through her private mail, when I brought it to #1's attention and she asked#2 , Mistress#2 denied it. Mistress #1's answer to me" she said it did not happen, therefore it did not happen". Yet I have repeatedly caught her.

There are times when even though the ladies are supposed to be equal it feels like and looks like #1 acts like a sub to #2 even though she would swear not and she controls most of the household stuff.

(in reply to wandering4u)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 5:11:40 AM   
lunamor


Posts: 52
Joined: 6/9/2005
Status: offline 		"i am a slave and have served women that were also slobs. i say quit complaining and remember your place in life. You are a slave and they are your owners. "

Yay, servantforuse. Pithy response to a pissy question.

Lunamor


(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 8:07:20 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Seems like they did a bait and switch on you, confused. #1 lured you in and once you were beyond a certain point, #2 took over. Reguardless, you still have these options at you disposal:

1) Go along with it and accept it as your lot in life.

2) Back out totally and tell them to have at it on their own.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 8:13:50 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		There is nothing whatsoever that you can accomplish here by complaining on the forums.  You seriously need to respectfully sit down with them both and outline some of your concerns.  Make suggestions in a positive way on how you could better serve them. 

1.  I am feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work.  Perhaps a schedule of daily chores would be helpful so I have my expectations and can meet them.  I would be happy to write up my daily chores so you can see how much time I am sepnding on everything.
2.  If I had a little assistance with common maintenance such as throwing trash away as things are finished or keeping things neat once I have already cleaned it, I would be able to do so much more for you (someone else already suggested this.)
3.  I am feeling a bit stifled since I do not have any free time to myself.  Perhaps we may be able to set aside some time every day so I can have "me time"?  I don't need much but a little time to myself would be appreciated.
4.  May we more clearly define my rights, if I have any, to provacy?  (If this is a #1/#2 issue, then that is between them.  If she is looking at YOUR email, you can address it.)

You can not make changes in the household that may affect your attitude about the situation unless you bring it to their attention that you have a problem.  Perhaps they are not aware that you are at such a point of frustration.  It seems to me that you are in a situation that you deem intolerable if it continues.  So, the only way to improve it is to bring it to their attention and see if changes can be made.  If they are unable or unwilling to make changes to make your situation more tolerable then it seems the situation is not compatible and you need to move on.

I will echo the sentiments of many here, though, and state that if you do leave make sure you do a bit more research before jumping into another place.  I can not imagine that these things happened overnight and if you were able to observe prior to agreeing to be collared you would not have jumped so quickly.

Good luck

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 8:43:12 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Though I partially agree


Yes, it would be unbecoming of you to offer unconditional support for slobs, slobbery, and blobbery.

quote:

confusedmaleone: I am responsible for and do very well at all the laundry, cooking, cleaning and yard work along with many other responsibilities. Nether of them does any work around the house nor do I expect them to.

There are two of them to take care of and only one of me.


To me, Domme's never look good when they are reduced to the role of takers. Cool Dommes have more sense. I would drop the word "fairness" here, but I don't want to get into a bitatruble. Instead, I might ask everyone here what they see as the LTR prospects in the OP's situation. To me, they don't look good, and there's an intinsic lesson to be learned from his story.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 7/28/2006 8:55:59 AM >

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Slob of a Mistress? - 7/28/2006 8:49:09 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos
My sentiments align with those of the very astute MsKatHouston. Additionally, you appear to be receiving treatment fit for a slave. If you do not identify as such, then I can perhaps see a place for you to stand and quibble over your treatment. Otherwise, it would appear you are indeed confused.

You've stolen the words from my manicured fingertips.  Well said.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 8:57:33 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedmaleone
Mail, #1 knows #2 has all her email passwords, she also states she trusts her not to go through her private mail, when I brought it to #1's attention and she asked#2 , Mistress#2 denied it. Mistress #1's answer to me" she said it did not happen, therefore it did not happen". Yet I have repeatedly caught her.

Is policing their email and privacy your assigned job?  Perhaps if you stressed/worried less about those personal affairs and more with your tasks at hand, you'd have a little more peace of mind?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 9:13:41 AM   
branwen


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/11/2005
From: NH
Status: offline 		I don't think you really are confused, confusedmaleone. I think you know what you need to do. If you have communicated these concerns and issues to your Dominants before and nothing has changed, its time to move on. If they dont want to change, nothing you say or do will ever MAKE them change. Thats true of the human race as a whole, and thinking that you will be able to change their behavior to suit YOU is just being oblivious.

_____________________________

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Slob of a Mistress? - 7/28/2006 9:15:13 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos
My sentiments align with those of the very astute MsKatHouston. Additionally, you appear to be receiving treatment fit for a slave. If you do not identify as such, then I can perhaps see a place for you to stand and quibble over your treatment. Otherwise, it would appear you are indeed confused.

You've stolen the words from my manicured fingertips.  Well said.


Thank you.

Btw, I was in your state over the past week; it is a happening place.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 9:20:42 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

[...]I might ask everyone here what they see as the LTR prospects in the OP's situation. To me, they don't look good, and there's an intinsic lesson to be learned from his story.


Precisely: Know thyself and know well what you're getting into.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 9:51:45 AM   
Tashacurly


Posts: 33
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't want to sound harsh....but what exactly are you complaining about OP? Yes, there are standards on how to treat a slave...those standards are set by the owners, and if you don't like how they do things, then leave. Simple as that. No one can "force" you to submit, you submit of your own free will, you know?
Would I say anything was particularly "gross" in their behavior...well, that is all relative, isn't it? If the whole tampon trash thing grosses you out....use a pair of toss away gloves to pick it up....beer bottles? Whine a bit much, huh? How hard it is, and how stressful is it to pick them up, and dispose of them? C'mon...want some cheese with that Whine?
Why, oh why do people put themselves in situations, without "fully" knowing what they are getting into....you know the whole "bait and switch" thing is a bit funny to me. If the OP had been fully aware of what being a slave could/would entail, there'd be no problem. Now, with that said...there is a difference between abuse and just plain expecting you do to as you said you would...
Are my owners slobs? I wouldn't say so....although, both of them work long, hard hours in their jobs...and yes, they may leave a mess....but as I don't have to work and outside job, and they take care of me financally, who am I to bitch about cleaning after them? It is the least I can do.
Just my opinion....and plus....OP, would you call your owners "slobs" to their faces? How insulting is it, and disrespectful to come to some forum and trash those you are supposed to be devoted to, and serve? Hmm....some one needs some growing up.

Tasha

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Slob of an Mistress? - 7/28/2006 10:32:54 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: confusedmaleone

I was brought here for Mistress #1 with the understanding we would play by ear my feelings toward #2. I agreed to serve#2 and I do like her, sometimes she is very nice, but some of the behavior is like a spoiled child. I feel like I am being pushed to prove I will serve her and trust her and all that this willfulness is doing is push me away more.



Definitely sounds like you all need to have a talk now. Like today.

I think #2 may be trying to push you because she feels less than #1.


quote:


The statement I was given as to conflicting orders; if #1 tells me to do something and #2 changes it then it is on #2's head. Only it does not work that way, #1 gets angry and I hear it. Whatever needs to be fixed because of the change is not done by #2 but by me when my hands are already full. If she had simply let me do it the correct way the first time this would not happen.



Frankly I wouldn't talk, I would just walk. I really think that multiple doms need to be on the same page and it does not sound like they are.

If you want to stay this is what I advise other than talking.

Stop following the conflicting orders PERIOD. PERIOD. PERIOD. PERIOD.

Just as there might be a hierarchy between slaves so too will there be a hierarchy with multiple tops. You came in to serve #1 first and foremost so focus on her orders first and foremost. So when you are given a conflicting order either ignore it or say "I"m sorry. Mistress X has me doing this right now. I'll be with you when I've finished, ma'am."

If #2 has a fit, let her have it and walk away to obey #1's orders. They need to work out their dynamic first and your attempting to obey them both in the face of conflicts is not helping you or them.

That's my opinion.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 7/28/2006 10:34:15 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to confusedmaleone)
Profile   Post #: 53
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