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Yes, there are more shelters for women and children than there are for men in general and few if any (depending on location) shelters that accept men with children. This has shifted a bit, as those running shelters, fundraising for shelters and providing funding via grants are acknowledging that men with children find themselves in crisis as well. However, in the DV statistics, women and children still make up the majority of individuals in need of shelter due to that specific cause (DV) and so, money allocated toward aiding survivors of DV will continue to lean heavily toward the assistance of women and children.

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I've written grants for DV shelters, and I've talked with many survivors of DV and those in BDSM who have found themselves in danger and homeless from predators fishing in the BDSM/Ms/Ds ponds. Most were women, not all.

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Men with children, when it comes to homelessness or DV, do face far greater challenges due to a lack of options available which is largely part of funding allocation BUT also, societies view of men and how they are less likely to be the victim or less a man if they are.

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Yes, there are inequities, some reasonable ones, some unfair ones.

How "feminists" fall into this, I've no idea. Most who devote time, efforts and money toward helping survivors of DV do so from a humanitarian POV.

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ORIGINAL: respectmen
I'm not denying that there are services for men who are abused so please stop making out that I claimed stuff that I never did.

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As I have been saying, we should deal with victims on a case by case basis instead of dealing with it by what gender you are. That would be real equality. The male in the article is in need of help, why should he be neglected because there are women who have had it worse or there are more female victims than male. How does that make a male victim less deserving of support? How can the experience of women make a male less deserving of support?

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If it hadn't been for my mum...

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THE RIGHT to leave: This is an important factor. One doesn't wake up one day suddenly in an abusive situation.
It is usually a slow progressive eating away at the individual's self esteem and a gradual isolation from any family or friend support.
In my case, what could have been my support, helped reinforce my husbands right as HoH and left me feeling as if it was on me to make things better. If I left my husband, I was disobeying the Will of God. I actually "received permission " to leave from a pastor who preached one morning about the Covenant a Man makes with God when he takes on the mantle of leadership. As Master of wife and family, his responsibility is to God to love his wife, even as Christ loved the Church. To bring harm to his family is to break the covenant with God. It released me in a way that a slave might feel released from her Master.

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Obviously each individual person will have to come to feel they have a right to leave in their own way - but being told it is okay, someone reinforcing this, is a. Important step.

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A close secondary reason was I knew if I stayed, my husband would kill me. His abuse escalated quickly because he was an alcoholic who became addicted to crack.

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EXIT PLAN/BUG OUT: Leaving is dangerous, so preparing to leave is important and risky.

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It is best if you have someone you trust to help you. For me, it was a close family friend and neighbor. I used her phone to call Shelters, and used her number for messages from shelters and places I'd called that were available for rent.

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My husband had sabotaged my car, kept control of the checkbook and credit cards.

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He would even check receipts to make certain I hadn't taken any cash out at checkout. A friend online I'd never even met, lent me $500, and I managed to eek out a few hundred by sneaking a credit card One at a time out of his s wallet and withdrawing a little bit of cash when he passed out drunk.

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In the meantime I had an emergency bag at my friend and neighbors house that had birth certificates, social security cards, shot records, my resume, the money and enough clothes for 3days for my kids.

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The shelters I'd called were full, but when I explained my situation, they called back the next day to say they had made room for me. I was lucky, in that I'd already found a trailer in the country and paid a deposit on it. Things moved quickly, and while my husband was at work my friend and I used her two vehicles to pack what we could and at 12 noon we pulled away from my family home. Toni Braxton was on the radio singing unbreak my heart and I was crying so hard I could barely see to drive. I had no vehicle, I'd quit my job three years prior to be a stay at home mom, so no employment and after deposit and rent I had $7 dollars to my name. My kids, all 4 of them came down with chicken pox. I should have been overwhelmed, but I was simply happy we were safe. My friend had been kind enough to put utilities in her maiden name, my former employer was happy to hire me back on an offsite project and my friends husband fixed my car and brought it to me. It all came together.