Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Topping from Below


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Topping from Below Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Topping from Below - 7/27/2006 9:58:28 PM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		I am sorry if this topic has been done before, but I am curious to hear some replies. Why is it whenever you engage in a chat with someone, and you express an interest, opinion, desire, like, dislike, comment that a Dom does not like, the immediate next line...drumroll please....is...."Oh, you are topping from below, or you must top from below."

I just had my 363rd three minute chat with someone who asked me some questions that I politely declined to answer; it was too soon to discuss certain things on a first email or IM.  So, he immediately stated the above comment and I was gone.

Interestingly enough, the gentleman in question asked me to chat since he thought my profile was "high caliber" in his view. And then he immediately asked me how much pain I was into and what activities I used to do with my ex.

Why is there such a lack of interesting give and take and intellectual discourse with some Doms instead of resorting to the tried and true, Topping from Below or You Must not really be submissive.

Sorry, I know this is a rant of sorts, but would really like to hear some thoughts.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Topping from Below - 7/27/2006 10:05:36 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Yanno, it still amazes me that men ever get laid at all, with the approach some of them take with women.  If someone declares you to be topping from the bottom within the first few minutes of a conversation; if someone insists that you tell them all about your previous sexual exploits in the first few minutes of a conversation; if the only conversation they seem capable of having centers around "what you are into," then they are a wanker, a wannabe, or a jackass.  None of these is worth peeing on if they were on fire, so just let them go and say, "Next!"

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Topping from Below - 7/27/2006 10:07:39 PM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline 		thanks, Evanesce...I needed to hear that. It gets so tiresome hearing the same crap all the time. And the irony is that so many write saying that my profile is intelligent and intriguing and then all THEY can do is go on like morons.

It is enough to make a girl go grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Topping from Below - 7/27/2006 11:43:42 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Or they get the "You aren't really submissive" or the "You need a spanking" lines.

If women never fell for those lines, they wouldn't matter.  But women allow this nonsense to get to them- and they allow it to shame them into stupidity.  It works.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 1:10:43 AM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		sexyred .... its not topping from the bottom if you havent agreed to submit ..... and anyway .. *smiles* ....they should be trying to make you want to submit .. not pouting when you dont ...

I alwys get images of  them standing in the corner hands on hips stamping their feet going ... 'but I want a submissive and I want one now '

unfortunatly  its both sides of the fence .....   gems such as  ... 'but you smile, You  cant be a domme' .... or  the 'Hi  ... just for you I am  kneeling naked at my puter ... do you want my webcam?'  *laughs*   or my favorite

but why dont you want me as your slave?... I sent a three line email  telling you I would serve you for life  .. I am a true slave ?  you cant be a  true domme if you do  not want me


*warm smile* .... some I take the time to explain .... some  I just smile  and  say  no thanks

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 1:16:32 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe it would help if you knew that they are really not men at all, but skillfully programmed androids.  Their purpose is to impersonate a fucking asshole and thus increase the ratio of frustrated females for the benefit of the ingenious programmers of these androids...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

Yanno, it still amazes me that men ever get laid at all, with the approach some of them take with women.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 4:20:47 AM   
mewmew


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline 		heh. i recently received a note, out of the blue and completely unsolicited, telling me my profile was too dommely. i thought to myself...is this supposed to be a joke? a backasswards pickup line? or just a really strange insult? lol. pardon me for not proactively throwing myself at your feet, Master Randomness Whom-I-Don't-Even-Know! ;)

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 4:37:58 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mewmew

heh. i recently received a note, out of the blue and completely unsolicited, telling me my profile was too dommely. i thought to myself...is this supposed to be a joke? a backasswards pickup line? or just a really strange insult? lol. pardon me for not proactively throwing myself at your feet, Master Randomness Whom-I-Don't-Even-Know! ;)


well, I just looked at your profile and I hope you did not change it just to suit Master Randomness!!! :)

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to mewmew)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 4:40:36 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Or they get the "You aren't really submissive" or the "You need a spanking" lines.

If women never fell for those lines, they wouldn't matter.  But women allow this nonsense to get to them- and they allow it to shame them into stupidity.  It works.


I hear ya. But it only serves to make me reply with a well thought out insult, infuriating them, thus perpetuating the myth of just  how not submissive I am.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 4:56:17 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Some people are insecure and just want to play at being a D. Usually they end up playing a jackass but that's just my opinion. 

Red, to me a well thought out insult doesn't mean you aren't submissive, it does however tell people you have a brain and use it - that'll scare most of the pouting D's away if anything will!

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 5:06:28 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I am sorry if this topic has been done before, but I am curious to hear some replies. Why is it whenever you engage in a chat with someone, and you express an interest, opinion, desire, like, dislike, comment that a Dom does not like, the immediate next line...drumroll please....is...."Oh, you are topping from below, or you must top from below."

I just had my 363rd three minute chat with someone who asked me some questions that I politely declined to answer; it was too soon to discuss certain things on a first email or IM.  So, he immediately stated the above comment and I was gone.

Interestingly enough, the gentleman in question asked me to chat since he thought my profile was "high caliber" in his view. And then he immediately asked me how much pain I was into and what activities I used to do with my ex.

Why is there such a lack of interesting give and take and intellectual discourse with some Doms instead of resorting to the tried and true, Topping from Below or You Must not really be submissive.

Sorry, I know this is a rant of sorts, but would really like to hear some thoughts.

You seem a bright girl; use the experience to redifine your own paramaters from what it is - an example of what you don't want in a partner/relationship.  Mind you, that's quite a wish list (in your profile) of who you do seek - maybe that attracts a bit of negativity to you from those who may feel "threatened" and wanna take you down a peg?
 
Empower yourself - it isn't topping from the bottom and nor is your behaviour "non-submissive.  As soon as they lay that crap on you, excuse yourself and 'x' their sorry arse!
 
Focus.

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 5:26:49 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

.

You seem a bright girl; use the experience to redifine your own paramaters from what it is - an example of what you don't want in a partner/relationship.  Mind you, that's quite a wish list (in your profile) of who you do seek - maybe that attracts a bit of negativity to you from those who may feel "threatened" and wanna take you down a peg?
 
Empower yourself - it isn't topping from the bottom and nor is your behaviour "non-submissive.  As soon as they lay that crap on you, excuse yourself and 'x' their sorry arse!
 
Focus.


Thanks, Focus. One of my reasons for my wish list, is to do, precisely that, weed out those who would not be a good match. Funny that those who are threatened have to resort to negativity. I read lots of profiles where I do not meet the parameters and I move on.

I don't feel compelled to editorialize on their profiles. As for being empowered, that is probably the genesis of the problem. Some do not like confident women!



_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 6:42:43 AM   
mewmew


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

quote:

ORIGINAL: mewmew

heh. i recently received a note, out of the blue and completely unsolicited, telling me my profile was too dommely. i thought to myself...is this supposed to be a joke? a backasswards pickup line? or just a really strange insult? lol. pardon me for not proactively throwing myself at your feet, Master Randomness Whom-I-Don't-Even-Know! ;)


well, I just looked at your profile and I hope you did not change it just to suit Master Randomness!!! :)


mwhahahah! no... my main profile is lostkitty. i can't post to the boards with that account for some gawdawful reason, so i use this account to peruse collarchat. :)

i think wandering and Focus make good points - insecurity probably has a lot to do with it. i know there's a lot of 'RAWR!' in my profile (way more than in yours, lol), but even that hasn't prevented the clueless from dumping in my mailbox. :D oh well, stick to yer guns!

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 7:52:28 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

Maybe it would help if you knew that they are really not men at all, but skillfully programmed androids.  Their purpose is to impersonate a fucking asshole and thus increase the ratio of frustrated females for the benefit of the ingenious programmers of these androids...


Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you're not supposed to tell them that!


To the OP:
I suspect that "Topping from the bottom" is one of the few BDSM-related buzzwords the wankers know, so when you do not comply with their desires and do not immediatly assist them in their nightly quest for mastrubatory pleasure they throw out the BDSM-related insult. They likely will also use the other BDSM phrase they know: "On u neez bitch!"

Topping from the bottom is NOT having limits or wanting to get to know a person before taking the relationship (even if it is just a chat relationship) into sexual areas, it is when the "bottom" controls the scene, this is not always a bad thing, nor is it by definition wrong. It is a particular relationship dynamic that works for some and not for others...a person going to a Pro is topping from the bottom, a sub who describes a particular fantasy that the dom then carries out is topping from the bottom. It is something that happens from time to time in any d/s relationship, and it is perfectly normal for it to do so.
It isn't even a bad thing, unless those in the relationship feel it is, and in that case, well ... lift your skirt and get over my knee, young lady!  (see, not an altogether bad thing even then )

< Message edited by Arpig -- 7/28/2006 8:02:05 AM >

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 9:01:43 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		I am owned, if i were to Top from the bottom....i sure as hell would be told to change my stance....quickly!.  If i happen to be in a scene with another Dominant, i agreed to the scene..if i decided to change something and started Topping from the bottom, i would suspect i would be told that i needed to change that also.

If i happen to be talking online or on the phone with someone and they said this to me......i would laugh my ass off.  There is no jurisdiction over me, there is nothing more than a conversation between people.  Nothing more.
In a conversation "I will choose" what i want to say or what i do not want to say.   I don't care if the Dominant thinks that i am Topping or not, it's not his call, it has nothing to do with the conversation.   I also have had Dominants say this to me, so i do understand where you are coming from.  I think it's silly....i think they are trying to beat their chests and say:  I am Dom, here is what i require of you.  NOW!
Pfffttt.......you don't know me well enough to make that judgement call.  *chucklez*

Happy Friday!

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 9:24:36 AM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce
 if the only conversation they seem capable of having centers around "what you are into," then they are a wanker, a wannabe, or a jackass.  None of these is worth peeing on if they were on fire, so just let them go and say, "Next!"


Right on!  BTW wanker is such a great word!  so fully descriptive and on point. 

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 11:40:27 AM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Oddly enough, a lot of the problems that I have heard of/seen on here are not ones that I am familiar with.  Possibly it's because I don't get into deep conversations with people that I am not familiar with, or maybe it's because I shut them down before they have time to get started.  I am exceptionally polite, in most cases, and have a tendency to just 'disappear' rather than give them the time of day if they don't get the hint from my politeness.  That's one nice thing about the online scene... I can stop the situation before it even gets started.

I know it's difficult to face this sort of thing all of the time, but believe me it's as hard for the men as it is for the women (and sometimes you can see why!).   The best thing to do is to ignore them and move on.  The right one will come along when the time is right and you will forget about all of those other losers (wankers IS a good word for them) when all is right in your world.

Good Luck to you.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 11:55:04 AM   
tangldupinblue


Posts: 230
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline 		i had an experience the other night with a friend of mine who is supposed to be submissive. she asked if she could play with me and i said no because Daddy told me that i couldnt play with anyone at all period. she got mad at me cause she didnt think that my rules should appy to her, so i asked her what would happen if her Top told her no. her responce was " if i think its a stupid rule then i do whati want and pay for it later". that to me is topping from the bottom.

blue

_____________________________

Those who deserve punshiment, take it calmly.

(in reply to afeathr)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 7:27:40 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		That's a nasty and unpleasant habit. Aside from it being a bad idea when evaluating a partner--how can I know how to do things you don't like if you don't tell me what you do like--it also misuses vocabulary. Determining the scene is a dominant behavior, not a toppy one. It's very hard to top (give sensation) while bottoming (receiving sensation). It's possible and not hard to dominate (control or determine behavior) while bottoming (receiving sensation), and also possible to top (give sensation) while submitting (obeying the directives of another).

Monica


(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Topping from Below - 7/28/2006 11:05:31 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I am sorry if this topic has been done before, but I am curious to hear some replies. Why is it whenever you engage in a chat with someone, and you express an interest, opinion, desire, like, dislike, comment that a Dom does not like, the immediate next line...drumroll please....is...."Oh, you are topping from below, or you must top from below."

I just had my 363rd three minute chat with someone who asked me some questions that I politely declined to answer; it was too soon to discuss certain things on a first email or IM.  So, he immediately stated the above comment and I was gone.

Interestingly enough, the gentleman in question asked me to chat since he thought my profile was "high caliber" in his view. And then he immediately asked me how much pain I was into and what activities I used to do with my ex.

Why is there such a lack of interesting give and take and intellectual discourse with some Doms instead of resorting to the tried and true, Topping from Below or You Must not really be submissive.

Sorry, I know this is a rant of sorts, but would really like to hear some thoughts.


Your sentiments are shared by many; the art of good conversation is one that is severely lacking in both sexes—submissive or dominant.

As an aside, though the term topping from the bottom is terribly cliché and all too familiar, it is so for a reason. Dominant personas wearing the passingly pretty veil of submission are unfortunately all too common. While your provided examples are indeed outrageous, I would submit the humble suggestion that by the 363rd consistent accusation, I would perhaps look into the remote possibility that maybe all those "wanker/wannabe/jackass/android" idiots might have the slightest ghost of a point in their parting words. Not accusing, just musing.

(in reply to SexyRed)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Topping from Below Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094